LMAO! I just spent 10 minutes going through my old diary entrees. So wild..I wrote all of these when I was 15. I never realized how depressed and suicidal I was back in the day. I had a reason to be but, seriously. I was such a attention whore. Also a bad speller! xD! But wow...it's crazy. I think I may print these out and keep 'em. So many memories I forgoten. The good ones at least. :D...Hmm, I don't know what to type in here :O! Surprise, surprise! :D. Ohh, the smiley faces match up in the diary pre entry. :p! Sexy. Ohkay, I am going to get going' now.

GUESS WHAT IM BACK!! hehe woo woo. i love this im so happy i came back to this i dunno why i forgot it. oh well. im back so thats all that matters. SO many things have changed. for one i have broken up with the schulz jerk that i dated and now hate with a burning fricken passion. lol. then dated some friends and set up with some guys came around andlook im single once again. lol. and another. Parents are divorced. SUX  oh well dad has broken ribs at moment still working and my mom is a bus driver dating sum guy from our church named pat. hes cool i guess i think hes gunna end up spoiling me. lol. oh well. I flew on a plain for the first time. lol. fun fun. flordia. woo. hmmm....what eles. Im a junior now. YAY. i get to go to prom . um what else is new...................... i dunno. lol. so many things but there not that...IM MOVING (RANDOM) thats right parents split up cant afford house. so moving who knows where and i dont fricken care. oh well. moo. says me. lol. cows. um yea im done. LONG ENOUGH i tell more later

ya. i got my haired dyed yesterday. i got weird remarks cuz also wore black lipstick, and really hevey eye liner. yes im goth. but theire like wow what happen. then some preps were like ur nuttin but a goth wanabie. i was like what ever. then my friends said i looked like a vampire. i was like kool. but ya i went across the street today. i let ppl write on my arm. my freind julian wrote propety of julian. then my mommy*nina* was all like no. then she wrote nina on my arm. after that vlad came up 2 me and wrote vlad. i was like ok. he like ur mine now. i was like wow. hes really cute. yes i have a crush on him. o'_'O
but then my friends tony was like. im gunna write property of tony on ur ass. im like no. but ya this other guy i like finally noticed me his name is kyle. *sigh* hes so cute. lol. but other than that nutin fun happened today. i thought today would be funnier. first ppl we like wo. cuz of my hair. then theire like ur a vampire. science class my friends were all stoned. it was awsome we have so much fun. we were next to a window. we said hi 2 every person that passed by. resource.....the highest point of my hyperness. i triped my teacher. *much fun* then the same teacher i triped started arguing to me about zebras and what color their stripes are. white of corse. then blck or brown. thats what we argued over. i said blck he said dark brown. he looked up in at leat 20 sights including the dictonary next to me. lol.
but ya nuttin that fun today. but ya i g2g go. must learn more japanese. laters

YES. im gettin my hair dyed today. cant wait. im dyin it red. bright blood red. yay.^^. but ya i havent got to anythin fun lately so i havent been writen anythin....but ya. im gunna hang out w/ my friends across the street tom so i awda have some fun stuff to type.lol. but ya me my ex dale, & nina are friends again all thanks to me it seemed like things were gettin worse, so in study hall i went up 2 dale and asked if we can be friends. first thing he did was complain a whole lot. then he said he had nuttin against nina. after he complained some more i asked him again. can we be friends? he said ya. i was like yay. so now were talkin and hangin out. im such a forgiveing person.*sigh* o well thats whats so great about me i guess. *shrugs* but ya so life is good exept for the part of all my friends thinken im a stoner. as usal all my friends start askin me if i smoke or drink. im like no. but of course they dont belive me. my friends lisa think i should be put in a mental hospital. she think i pop pills, drink,use steroides, and smoke. im like no. then shes like do u cut ur self and im mabey.....she like omg u need help im sure.. then my friend brittneys like u are a fricken phyco. im like so what. thats what makes me so fun and she like true.....but ya that whats happend in my life so far. ill tell u more after school tommarow. lol . laters.^~

K todays was a ok not as bad as i thought was going to be......my ex dale is getting worse. hes startting he harass my mommy nina. grr. he aslo making fun of calling her bad names. but k ill stay kool. what i want to know is ppl make fun of other ppl. is it fun 2 hurt someone else? i dont know cuz i never had. is it fun? no it cant be.....how can hurting another persons soul be fun. i was made fun of since i was in kindergarden. it got worse in 2nd grade...ppl wouldent leave me alone for second. i stayed home from school cuz i was hurt and scared to be hurt even more then when i turned 8 i got my first pimple.....* FRICKEN YEARS OLD. it sucked. but i got thru it.i still have achne. but hey now its part of being a teenager. my life even further in the futer goes down hill even faster....person problem w/ my family. lets just say i was harrased in REALLY BAD WAYS by my uncle and boy cousin......this happened when i was 10. when i turned 11 i relized somethin........my dad was a alcholic....my mom forbids drinking but he does. and the sacrafice for that drinking problem is that hes hurting me and tareing my family apart. when i turen 12 i relized something was ALWAYS wrong...either my dad being drunk, brother complaning and bein a baby, my moms bein a bi***, or there is some really bad friend problems goin on...
im surprised i havent killed myself yet. but i wont and never will b/c i live for all my friends. but ya other than dwelling on my past today was fun. i went across the street from my school and hanged out w/ all me friends it was so fun. i froze my butt off.but hey. it was fun. lol. the most fun thing about me and my friends hangin out is that we go insane. it so fun. my friends chris was sucking helium out of a ballon then he started talkin in a chipmunk voice....then he fell. his friends cought him and he acted like a drunk 18 year old teenager(not like my dad hes gets really angry)*shrugs*. it was sooo funnny. his friends carried him alll the way 2 the street then he ran across it WITHOUT lookink for cars......its so much hangin w/ them. i love them all sooo much. i love em all
g2g....goin 2 hang out w/ my friends.

so todays was an ok day i had better...nina *my mommy*
(she looks out for me and she is a sohmore) well she goin 2 set me up w/ this guy names tony....hes a sophmore. he asked my mommy out,but then she wants to go out w/ this other guy so she wants him off her back so shes goin 2 try 2 set us up. cant wait. if he says no then o well. I CANT LET THING LIKE THAT HURT ME. im a sensitve person so i get hurt eaisily. im also a really nice person. so i let ppl walk all over me....WHY DO all the NICE ppl get HURT?!?!?! thats somethin that im seekin in life. but o well its a mystery for now. im stayin after tom for animeclub...cant wait. lol . i get 2 see all my friends i dont have classes w/ and its a great place 2 socilize. lol. but ya i love my friends they are so kool. luv u all. but i must end dairy....talk 2 my friends. lol

FREEDOM!! thats what me and nina say since he broke up w/ her if u dident look up my last dairy antrie. lol . but she free of the berdon of a bf. FREEDOM. we shout that cuz the single life feels good. i'v been single for a while now and i'v never felt better but im ready for a relationship now its beenat least 3 or 4 months. so shes even more happier now that she ever was. YAY!! i love my nina shes so much fun shes about 2 years older than me so i call her my mommy. she also looks out for me and takes myside in a snap since im so small and im esay to be picked on so she always looks out for me. i think it good to be single for a bit. Advise i would give to couples is give the relationship thing a rest for a couple days u will feel much better. if any of u that have read this need any advise and dont know what do uy can E-mail me at XInuYashax257@aol.com im pritty sure i can help u out. remember sometimes u need a break it will give u a rest and take a bit of burden off u so when u take a break from a relationship go crazy. thats what u really need. im mean when u get back together that will make ur relation ship last longer and u will be much happier. *not garentin but if it help my friends AND me it should help u.*

today was fine. got bad news and REALLY good news. the bad news is my friend tigan is mad at me....for resons. no i dident do anything to her or pissed her off. i did something i shouldent which is rare b/c i also have this reputation of being a good gurl. never got in trouble or had a tarty in my life exept when i was 7......i bit a guy he was harrasing me. so i bit him. it was funny tho. he stood at least 3-5ft away from me since. but anyway the good news. my poem i wrote is in the semi finals. of i win i get 5,000 dollors. yay. so its being published in a book.......i cant wait. my mom wants me to become a wrighter but i want to be a ecobotnist or w/e its the study of plants and animals. tho it would be a miracle if i did win....... i cant wait for the results. im surprised i even got that far....but its not over. if i dont win i'll just try again later on in the year. the poem is called STOLE
You stole my dreams
You stole my hope
Whenever we are together i'm in a rope
Drop i will
Cry i shall
Knowing u took everything away from me
Everything i loved
Everything i hated
Everything exept you my best friend
thats my poem.....that got me that far. its my fav. so i enterd it. lol . g2g . chores. lol

im a day..ahead in my dairy i just found out.....pritty strange. oh well i know i can fix it but i dont feel like it. so ya today was fun and sad...i found out my friends was sent to the hospital b/c she cut her self w/ a knife 2 deep(on purpose ) and then a friend of mine 5 th hour yesterday..tried to commit sucide.........but i cant let all these thing get to me......i'm tired and need a rest a vacation....i have been so depressed lately. o well cant let my parents notice...but my dad will just yell at me saying all this crap. he dosent care im guessing or hes drunk most the time. but my mommy always cheers me up & my friend melissa. shes kool 2 shes a year older than me but hey shes way kool plus we have all the same things in common. she loves inuyasha just like me and she loove kingdom hearts. so kool so we get togeher on weekends to play for fun...but lately we havent shes grounded. but know shes ungrounded. yay. she ditched class......so she got detentions and was grounded. 3-6 3 of them......shes such a trouble maker and a lound mouth but shes fun. in a couple days im getting my hair dyed red. ya. right now its dark brown.....looks black but brown. i get that color b/c im american indian. pritty kool huh. im a cherikie or what ever lol. well i g2g my hands are gettin tired from typeing.

O-k today was a ok day...exept for my friend be a butthole.....her names brittney or britt...she was so mean 2 me and she secretly hates me i know it...sh e always tells me to shut up never anyone else just me...and she talks non stop in resource. She also hates when ppl tell her to shut up. but she tell me to shut up. frankily i'm getting tired of her. and shes so dramatic. and such a girly girl i hate it shes so weak to the point its patetic. my friend tegan pushes her and then she says "ow that hurt". such a baby. then my mom keep digging into my life. my ex only went out w/ me b/c he felt srry for me. my friends are have a major conflict and i'm in the middle. *sigh* but i'm tryin to keep my kool.....tho i havent really. im just yelling at everyone. so the'll leave me alone. thats my hole goal to get ppl to leave me alone....i have some friends but sometimes they piss me off. but i just cant be around ppl w/ out being self-conscious. i always think the worst of things......but the truth is i relly want alot of friends im just afraid a person might judge me befor they get to know me. i'm really a funny person. "UR f****** hallarius" or thats what my friends say......mostly when i'm mad and that offten..unless my friends feed me candy....then i turn into trouble.....a big trouble makes and a dare devil..i'll do anything when i'm hyper....its really funny and i yell alot when im hyper......but in a goodway...any way i g2g dinner. yum.

to days my first dairy entry. yay. tho i might have a bunch of mistakes on my typin b/c my computer wont let me see what im typing. lol.but anyway to days an o-k day...still cant find a date to turnabout:(..oh well this one guy brain turned me down..and he likes me 2..i just dont get why...mabey b/c hes friends w/ my ex. dale...hes nice tho..and really sweet but hes not for me....i guess i'll keep loking. LOL. my mommy nina cant go to turn about b/c of her parents....so her BF dales crushed.FYI: my old ex. so shes stuck at home like me. Darn. i'm happy b/c now i have a friend to talk to.....all my friends are goin. except brain hes stuck baby sitting. but anyway im goin to post some of my art up during the weekend. i just joined so i'm new.....ya new. just like me in high school....god i sound a morrn. oh well thats life. my lifes all about being a morrn and a werido. i also have the rep of being a heartless mean person....i also have attitude to other ppl. of corse they dont know me so they say stuff...but thats o-k as long as my friends now thats not true...im really a shy gurl...but around my friends.....look out lol..any way i g2g. i'll be back tom for another entrie. lol