i dont know what im doin? im talking to a guy.. and i know that he isnt bf material.. so why am i still messing with him?? i dont mess around.. and i dont have night stands.. so what am i doing with this guy?

A letter to the one person. on my thought more than anything.
I cant sleep. i ahve so much on my mind.. im going insane.. but i wanted to write this letter. to one that i have been thinking aboout. u know who u are..



Im sorry for being the way that i have been.. always getting mad at you and always yelling and nagging. I use to never be like that. i dont know why i have changed.Its just im so confused. I have never trully fallen in love with anybody beofre. i didnt really believe in the word love or believe in that saying. love at first site. I never understood how anybody could really felt that.. but then i met you. and things came clear to me. It made more sense to me. more than anything has ever made sense to me. i didnt know how to control it. Since i feel in love with you. it has brought so many different sides of me out. most good and some bad. i have becasem a true jealous person and not able to trust anybody. and my worst mistake wasnt trusting you. n no effense but that has proven my point.

I love you .Since day one. I am in love with you. id sacrifice anything for you. id give my last breath so u can keep your life. that is how much i am in love with you. id rather die than live with out you. i know it sounds crazy.

member tha saying you said.. you cant help who u fall in love with? no you cant. i cant help that i have fallen in love with you.

I have lost more of you than i wanted to image that i could. i know that i havent lost you completely. but for what i have.. it is killing me for what is going on with us. Hearing you at dinner/breakfast. talking about your date. i wanted to die.. i cant deal with it.

I dont wnat to loose you forever. I dont know what i would do if i have lost you.. anymore than what i ahve already.Im going insane. you undersatnd me and know me better than anybody. and thats what i love about you also. i dont let people in.. s..cept the ones that i love. and trust me. that isnt very much.. but you are the person i want to know me and understand me more than anything.. you can the things i do.. just by saying something.. but i have let you in. and i will never regret that. you are my life. i know. what i am going thro. is really shitty, and i am trying to work it out. i am really,I love you. and please understand that. please dont let me go. . please dont leave me ad..nd please dont hurt me.. for more than what i am already hurting. I love you. I am in love with you. and i will always be in love with you. no matter what. till the day i die.. Love always.. shera.

You know who u are..

my life however is a complete mess.. i want to move bak to Illinois . but i do not know of this can happen. i have lost my job.. and i have no car or no isurance. i am almost 18 and i want out of my parents house already. i live 9 hrs from where i want to be.. but since i have no car. i do notknow how to get there. i want to be ther. i ahd it better than.. i am in school stil and i would be getting out this year. but i have moved so it messed up my chances.

i do not know what is going to come into the future.. and i do not know what is going to happen tomorrow.. i let things just go by and i just hope the days end and a new one begins.. i am a very confusing person adn i know this.. but all the things on my mind just wants to make me scream. My life seems like its just a neverending story.my mom is being the same perosn who can never seem to change.tho i want her to

I have failed myself and i have failed my friends. I do not know who i am anymre..i gave up everything for this person. i gave up who i was and became what this persona wanted to be and i still had no respect. i have failed my family in who they want me to be and what they want me to accomplish. i do not know anymore.. i do not know.....

i hate guys. i have been of and off with this guy for 6 months and now he says im not seriuos anymore. and that he doesnt knw what he wants from me and doesnt want to be with me. He is stupid. any way im single and staying single