i am soooo fucking pissed off.... ok last night my sister was on the computer and all of a sudden this girl, her "friend" corina messaged her calling her a slut... so i was pissed and they got into and Corina was talking hella shit to my sister and then i got on and bitched the hoe out and it wasnt pretty... so i was fucking pissed about that..... then Corina tells us what my mother had said... My mother *cringes* told Corina on the phone that Nikki (sister) was a liar and only told people she was pregnant just to get peopl to tlak to her and that she wasnt allowed to live with her again no matter what... and my moms bf at the time not husband, was gonna press charges for "slander"... what a fucking dumbass.... i really dont like him... and one time my sister went to the psych ward cuz she ried to commit suicide and Bressa (my mother *cringes*) said thats she didnt really care and it serves Nikki right and she'll learn her lesson.....

That leaves me to one question..... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!?!?

what a bitch.. i really hate her and i think its wrong what shes doing to NIkki and I.... neither of us deserve it..... i just dont get people and why they feel the need to talk shit... especially my fucking wretched horrid mother!!!

thats all for now

fucking people... all anyone ever does aroung ehre is judge... that just cuz i live in a different town im a druggie and a whore... and just cuz i dont wear preppy clothes means im poor... and just cuz i where my fucking make-up like one of the guys in MCR means im goth... none of its true!! the fucking people around here are so fucking tiring and i am sick of all of it!!! people think that just cuz they are popular they can do anything and get away with it... and since im not popular and if i did it then i would get into rouble... people discriminate against the "un normal" like me... im unique and creative and no one else is like me and they are afraid of that cuz all of the "preps" are all the same.... they are intimidated... so they feel the need to make fun of people, and judge them and what now..... they are fucking stupid..... and no one understands me or the way im feeling

and its not just school... like its with the whole thing with Shane (the diary entries) and with guys and me.... aprently i am supposed to be single forever... im 17 and have only had like one bf.. thats usually not normal... whats wrong with me that i can even get an interest? its sad...... and maybe im not supposed to get out into the real world... maybe i am supposed to just die.. whether its from myself or of a broken heart or something else.. idk

and another thing is my mother..... i hate her and i hate the fact that i ave to love her... shes a bitch and i cant believe the things she has done.... ok it all started almost 3 years ago.... she left us on my birthday... she decided she was gonna get a divorce with my dad for his best friend.... and well i was, of course, pissed at her... my sister moved in with her and i stayed with my dad..... but it got to be ok and it was good for the first year... then my dad re-marries and nikki (my sister) moves back in.... and Bressa (my mother) starts to loose touch with us...... she doesnt call for weeks sometimes months at a time.. she made promises to come see us (us meaning my sister and i) and we can hang out... well that didnt happen... and it got worse and worse....... well last christmas, i went from x-mas day until like feburary with out hearing from her... then i did off and on..... well my dad got a divorce in feb. of last year and we moved back home... and so same shit with Bressa... didnt call or anything.... hung out maybe like once or twice..... i prolly heard from her about 8 times last year... and in like october i ask if she can help pay for my senior pix since she is my mother and she hasnt done anything for me since she left.. and she said no.... and to this year she got married December 10... and thats the last i have heard from her....and i called her on her b-day in november and she didnt answer and never called me back to say that "thanks for calling cuz i know i didnt call you on your birthday....... she didnt even call me on christmas....... and then i find out what a whore she is..... turns out she chated on my dad with like 5 or 6 different guys... AND (this almost made me puke) she has had sex with 500-600 guys in all!! OMG I FUCKING HATE HER!!!!!!..... its hard to deal with and im sick of dealing with it!! She cant even call me on christmas.. not even after i went to her wedding... its feb 2nd and i havent talked to her since december 10th.... it fucking blows and i am sick of life!!!!!

<3 Tena

UPDATE FROM LAST ENTRY: ok well it turns out the fucker has a gf and has had one... he lied to me about loving me and everything he said to me..... i just totally fucking give up on guys!! my life fucking sux... he was the only person that kept me from killing myself b4.... now what do i have?? NOTHING!!! what a fucking dick!!!!

ok remember how i was so in love with this one guy?? *points to first diary entry* WELL SOMEHOW I THINK I FUCKIN BLEW IT!!!! He sent me and e-mail that said, "hey sexy.........................whatcha doin" well it wasnt just sent to me.. it was sent to another person... Tracy Jones (i changed the name cuz i didnt want him to be even more pissed).... so im thinking who is this.... maybe hes playing me??..... so i write back and ask hom.... than all of a sudden i hacked to his computer cuz actually "Tracy" is his instructor........ I dont know how to hack and idk why hes accusing me.... maybe hes looking for a way to get rid of me? idk...... i was hoping you guys could help and let him know im not like that.. all of you that are my friends please tell him! Cuz I DIDNT DO IT!!! send him a message [shanethedude]... THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

<33 Tena

omg... i am so in love..... he makes me feel so special... ha always makes my day... he so amazing and i love him so much...... i cant wait until we get to see each other!!!!! omg i am so excited you dont even know lol.... this is so exciting and yeah.. i cant wait XP

<3 Tena