I dont even no why i bother? try to do the right thing and he wont here of it, this may be my last full weekend in this god forsaken town and i dont even get the curtiosy of one night... why would it matter if i had a new boyfriend i dont matter anyway i never matter... its so frustrating grr is pissing me of and i dont even no what to do about it i no i should forget all about it but it is to hard it fills every part of my small mind its like i cant concentrate on anything else and no matter haw much i try he is always there... why does it hurt me so much that i lost all there compainionship?? i shouldnt matter to me but it does the majority of the time the pissed me of anyway but still i want to see them again i want us all to be friends again. it wasnt all my fault they dont have any true reasont to hate me i just dont get it....

grrr why do i keep losing everyone i care about i always seem to be betrayed in the worse possible way i wish for just once that someone would be loyal that i would come first... is that selfish i think it is i shouldnt want to be important there is so many more people out there who need love and companionship more than i do but its like i crave it crave the feelings of being wanted. i dont seem to get it that often and when people do finally look past my bad looks they see what a horrible person i am on the inside or they are just not my type it seems there is no one really out there for me and the one who was i have lost him again i cant belive i got him back only to loose him again and not just him alot of my other friends i would do anything to go back in time and change what hapenened... just to hold him in my arms one last time...