[+eyes of a scared little girl+]'s diary

592396  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-06-07
Written: (7108 days ago)
Next in thread: 593139

liars always land on top. i have never hated anyone as much as i hate her it seriously has a hold on me it is so bad it almost hurts. i try to be there and i am always the one who is left in the cold when it all comes crashing there. i am there for everyone else with no one left to be there for me. but maybe im just being selfish... oh well im sick of caring for you all look after yourself

565328  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-30
Written: (7146 days ago)

I dont even no why i bother? try to do the right thing and he wont here of it, this may be my last full weekend in this god forsaken town and i dont even get the curtiosy of one night... why would it matter if i had a new boyfriend i dont matter anyway i never matter... its so frustrating grr is pissing me of and i dont even no what to do about it i no i should forget all about it but it is to hard it fills every part of my small mind its like i cant concentrate on anything else and no matter haw much i try he is always there... why does it hurt me so much that i lost all there compainionship?? i shouldnt matter to me but it does the majority of the time the pissed me of anyway but still i want to see them again i want us all to be friends again. it wasnt all my fault they dont have any true reasont to hate me i just dont get it....

561916  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-04-26
Written: (7150 days ago)

grrr why do i keep losing everyone i care about i always seem to be betrayed in the worse possible way i wish for just once that someone would be loyal that i would come first... is that selfish i think it is i shouldnt want to be important there is so many more people out there who need love and companionship more than i do but its like i crave it crave the feelings of being wanted. i dont seem to get it that often and when people do finally look past my bad looks they see what a horrible person i am on the inside or they are just not my type it seems there is no one really out there for me and the one who was i have lost him again i cant belive i got him back only to loose him again and not just him alot of my other friends i would do anything to go back in time and change what hapenened... just to hold him in my arms one last time...

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