Why is it when I dont see your face....or dont hear your voice, I go crazy?  Why is it can't I get your scent out of my head? Why is it I yearn to be near you? 

Im always gonna be stuck with the feeling if things actually do happen for a reason. If we are really to learn from our past mistakes, and use them for future reference.
Was it planned for me to finally meet you? After all this stress and misfortune in my life, is it actually Godsend that you stepped in at this moment? Are you here to help me cope with my depression and unhappiness?

Kind of laying back today and kicking my feet up......
Maybe Ill drawing something today.....
Maybe think about Justin XP.........
Who knows......
Maybe sleep for good part or take Arion of for a ride.........
Ill just let thing fall into place as they go

DREAM

I saw you in my dream last night;
A heavenly vision shrouded in a cloud of white;
Your eyes shown green and heavy upon me;
The love that imminated in those eyes was enough to let me free;
Then the atomosphere started to disappear;
You were gone, I was alone with fear;
That feeling of desire and want vanished;
All I felt was uneeded and banished;
The place grew darker and crowded with pain;
The quietness and solitude was to make me insane;
Huddled in a mass of sorrow and hate;
I come to the conclusion that this was my fate;
I rocked myself slowly, to ease the hurt away;
And keep all unwanted thoughts at bay;
But in my hour of drakness and quam;
Your light shown once more, to soothe and calm;
Your voice rang through my ears, envoking every emotion;
Your words sang a song like waves crashing at the ocean;
And you took in me in your arm, and kissed my tears dry;
Your wings outstretched around me, ready to fly!


(wow I didnt think I could actually write something like this)

Nothing seems to numb the pain of a broken heart. Life almost seem worthless if you have nothing to strive for, nothing to bring you cheer, but what do I know......I have yet to figure out my goal in life......why the fuck I was put on this Earth.  I only seem to bring harm to myself and bring down others with me.......

(poem which ignited an artist image in m mind)

Wherever amber skies kiss crystine waters
And a calming tide caresses the shore
You will find him

Carefree, wild, frivalous, and majestice
The stallion who dances in the surf
In unbridled freedom

(Lets see where this will take me)

Favorite Song of the Day
The Used Lyrics

Take It Away Lyrics



Life's greatest questions have always been: Who am I? Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? You are about to see and hear one of the most significant messages given to us from God.

Get down
Wooooooo!
Get down

I'm lying to myself
And this dagger's my excuse
I'm a pawn
I Should have paid up
And I left an hour late
I was laid up

I must abuse myself
I'm against all that I've made up
Set in stone the sun will come
And I hate light
You know I hate light
To me it looks so pretty burning

Burn the sun
Burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand
Take my life
Take take take take take take it away

I must have caught something
In the heat of all these dances
I'm a worm with no more chances
And I've lost all doubt
In a chemical romance

I can't stop itching
over thoughts of tarnished hope
kinda funny
lonely feeling
I'm not in love
You know it's not love
To me it looks so pretty burning

Burn the sun
Burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand
Take my life
Take take take take take take it away

Burn the sun
Burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand
Take my life
Take take take take take take it away

Brothers and sisters
I'm right here with you
Cause everyone's got one
A story to kill me
I'm so apathetic in my resentment
Living, loving, knowing not

Take my hand [x8]
Take my life
Take my heart take my mind
Take my life take my life

Burn the sun burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand take my life
Take take take take take take it away
Burn the sun burn the light
Take take take take take take it away
Take my hand take my life
Take my life
Take my life
Take my life

Once I collate the money from the puppies that I so sculpiously took care of.........Im off to make some modifications....such as new hair color and hair cut(short will do for summer wear)......and now ready for it......my limbra peircing I so badly wanted..........*pounces around*


yes.....I tend to look quite different.....just the shock value for my friends I havent seen. *gleams with happiness*

What a hectic friggin day it was yesterday.........my room looks like a tornado went through it......its straight now.....doing my favorite thing "SPRING CLEANING" (note the hidden sarcasim)..........my room is now what I exactly want it to look like......almost........

My mother has been diagnosed with Iron Defiency Anemia......so my job has extended more with helping her........so dont mind if Im a little irritated lately........but Ive been tossed with some more stress and worries.....

Been entertaining myself by doing some freewriting while listening to music.....whether a stories emerges....or poetry

This is what I got from listening to Oasis last night


Gravity

Above shallowed ground
Lay in weight-less wonder

See the future before you
Left in residual sunder

Pondering such thoughts
Leaves on nauseated

Feeling heavily pressed upon
Life seems so complicated




Leave Room to Fail

Killer smile
Hazel eyes
Was my inebitable demise

Sweet you are
Fell so deep
Happiness, unwanted keep

Imagine life
Were it to be
Fulfilled dreams for you & me...........(to be continued)

Youre never alone
Always under watchful eyes
Cold, heavy stare
Makes you feel empty
Guarded unknowingly

(LAST GOOD SONG OF THE DAY)

The Used Lyrics

The Taste Of Ink Lyrics



Is it worth it can you even hear me
Standing with your spotlight on me
Not enough to feed the hungry
I'm tired and I felt it for awhile now
In this sea of lonely
The taste of ink is getting old
It's four o' clock in the fucking morning
Each day gets more and more like the last day
Still I can see it coming
While I'm standing in the river drowning
This could be my chance to break out
This could be my chance to say goodbye
At last it's finally over
Couldn't take this town much longer
Being half dead wasn't what I planned to be
Now I'm ready to be free

So here I am it's in my hands
And I'll savor every moment of this
So here I am alive at last
And I'll savor every moment of this

And won't you think I'm pretty
When I'm standing top the bright lit city
And I'll take your hand and pick you up
And keep you there to so you can see
As long as you're alive and care
I promise I will take you there
And we'll drink and dance the night away

As long as you're alive
Here I am
I promise I will take you there

(I just love rocking out to this song *does the rock on sign with hand and joins the mosh pit*........Mosh pits are bad especially when you do it with just two other people.........and starting on top of steps......long story....but insanely funny......grab some popcorn.....and I can share some pretty haggerdous and hilarious stories with ye)

A.F.I. Lyrics

The Great Disappointment Lyrics



I can remember a place I used to go
Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful
I can remember, I searched for the amaranth
I'd shut my eyes... to see

Oh, how I smiled then, so near the cherished ones
I knew they would appear... saw not a single one
Oh, how I smiled then, waiting so patiently
I'd make a wish... and bleed

While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away

I can remember... dreamt them so vividly
Soft creatures draped in white, light kisses gracing me
I can remember when I first realized
Dreams were the only place to see them

While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away

I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this
How could I have become?

I never, never wanted this
I always wanted to believe
I never, never wanted this
I never, never wanted this
But from the start I'd been deceived
I never, never wanted this

Inside a crumbling effigy
But you promised
So dies all innocence
But you promised me

While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
While I waited I was wasting away
Hope was wasting away
Faith was wasting away
I was wasting away

(MY ALLTIME FAVORITE CURE SONG.......Bless your soul Robert Smith....for this song hold a very special meaning to my heart)

The Cure Lyrics

Lovesong Lyrics


Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

(MY ALLTIME FAVORITE CURE SONG.......Bless your soul Robert Smith)

The Cure Lyrics

Lovesong Lyrics


Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

It so unfortunate that it didnt work out, obviously I couldnt please you and make you happy......but I wish you all the happiness in the world....you deserve it because you are terribly sweet and such a genuine person.
Enjoy life and all that unfolds for you.....maybe someday our paths will cross.....who knows........thats God's decision...........Adeu

Still feeling unbeivably nauseated today........it has got to be the most worst feeling ever....especially when have nothing left to disperse.....so youre just left with dry heaves.......oh well.........I can manage.....well hopefully it will be over tommorrow.....have very important company coming tommorrow

Best leave the past behind
Put forth your foot
And journey abroad

Life seems a stand still
If you bare to stay
And not focus your sights

Immulate your dreams
Before you stray the path
Find inner harmony

I tear my heart open, I sow myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
I'm pissed cause you came around
Why don't you just go home
Cause you channel all your pain
And I can't help to fix myself
Your making me insane
All I can say is
[BELSEA!]

I tried to help you once
A kiss will only vise
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That your drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassions in my nature
Tonight is our last dance

[BELSEA!]

I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You shouldn't ever came around
Why don't you just go home?
Cause your drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
And I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
You fix yourself

I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

[Chorus x2]

Dont always reflect on the bad things in life.......dont always pressure yourself in to love......if you go in fool-heartedly and hasty......you will only feel let down in the end.........

God works in mysterious ways........he will show you when the time is right.........let love find you instead of searching for it...You'll be surprised what will unfold