The 5 shittest films Ever made.
1. Titanic
The highest grossing pile of shite ever made. James Cameron should have his head bowed in shame. All I can remember were terrible performances, some dude looked like he was wearing eyeliner and Bill Paxton was in it. So bad it wasn't even good for comedy.
2. Alien Vs Predator
Hahahaha, that sums up: plot, acting, script, directing, the guy who played Bishop doing a cameo, the fighting, the Alien and the predator. I think that’s everything. This film is hilarious. See Ruthless review for the full comedy writings and noticeable mistakes.
3. American Pie
I was told this was funny, whoever told me that, you lied to me… oooh Sex joke. Wait, that’s it? Same joke repeated? By the end the concept of the film becomes funny not the film itself. I know films are about acquired taste but come on what drives people to this?
4. The Ring (American version)
Ok for you people inept at reading subtitles or to arrogant to do so. Here is your McDonalds version. Instead of going by dates, we'll go by numbering days for the simple minded viewers and never explain the story behind the girl as well. Throw in some awful performances and a pointless plot… Yup, that'll keep people happy.
5. Hawk the Slayer
I want this on DVD; it is so bad it is amazingly funny! I don' think anyone can explain in words just how bad it is. All I can say is see it, you'll understand what I'm talking about!
well Brisco has arrived! he's a black border Collie and has curly hair. He's a bit mad but he's getting there. Hope to get a picture up soon.
These be the bands i like:
1. Fleetwood Mac - first and foremost my favourite band! They are even better live!
2. Lynyrd Skynyrd - daddies of Southern rock everyone should hear free bird at least once not to mention edge of Forever.
3. The Black Mages - brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Taking FF music and just pushing it that little bit further.
4. The Blues brothers - this proves that Rhythm and Blues is not dead. excellent in a word.
5. Stabbing Westward - maybe not renowned but still fantastic! first album I ever purchased was by them. I got it while i was in America, the prices over there are quality!
6. Iron Maiden - Its a proven fact these guys are legends! no question about it! I have seen them live and they ruled! If you haven't heard them you must have been in a cave.
7. Pink Floyd - Sadly these guys no longer tour but i saw a tribute band and they were nigh on perfect. I prefer this bands more serious stuff! Shine on your crazy diamond is a must listen!
8. Metallica - James Hetfield you legend! Metallica kick out some great stuff! Though to be frank St Anger sucked ass.
9. Paradise Lost - these guys are brill! theres something refreshing about hearing them. They also always seem to start with piano then move ont the guitaring.
10. Tenacious D - it has Jack Black in it. Nuff said.
Top Ten films:
1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, namely the Fellowship being my favourite of the 3.
Without a doubt the greatest film ever made, it tells the story on a straightforwar
2. Star Wars trilogy.
does it look like i give a shit if you think i'm a geek or a nerd? created a phenomenon and some truly amazing games.
3. Indiana Jones trilogy.
If adventure has a name it must be Indiana Jones. the tagline says it all. Made Harrison Ford into a screen icon.
4. Back to the Future.
I love this movie for so many reasons. 1. Micheal J Fox is great. 2. Doc Brown is as wacky a scientist as they get! and 3. it has a grat story and soundtrack.
5.Infernal Affairs.
The best Cat and Mouse film ever made, no doubt the remake will be shit compared to the origanal even if it is done by Martin Scorcese.
6. Evil Dead trilogy.
made Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi stars and truly some of the greatest comedy horrors ever.
7. The naked Gun trilogy.
Anything with Leslie Nielson is funny,fact.
the scene in the first naked Gun when he breaks into the apartment always has me laughing.
8. The Crow.
I do not watch this because of the soundtrack or because its all Gothy I watch it because not only is it a great story of revenge but also the underlining story that was happening with all the other characters who had been affected by the deaths of Shelley and Eric not to mention one kick ass action sequence. at the end of the day The Crow is as much a love story as it is a revenge film.
9. John Carpenter films - pre 1990.
some absolutely brilliant films,some terryfying and some funny. Big trouble in little China - comedy. Prince of Darkness - creepy as owt.
10. The Punisher.
Finally Frank Castle gets his turn on the big screen! I loved this film from Mark Collie's Harry Heck to John Travolta's Howard Saint. The fight with the Russian was literally taken out of the comic book seemingly drawing by drawing.
top five quotes.
1. "yeah but Jar Jar made the Ewoks look like fuckin... Shaft!" - Tim Bisley, Spaced
2. (Tucker tells Caboose goin through the portal doesn't hurt) "yaow!... you lied to me..." Caboose, Red Vs Blue
3. "I heard a tapping as of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door... you heard me rapping right?" Eric Draven, The Crow
4. "Honey, the only reason chimps eat so many fruits and vegetables is because they're not smart enough to butcher a cow." Frank, Osmosis Jones
5. "saviour, conqueror, hero, villian. you are all these things Revan and yet you are nothing!" Darth Malak, Knights of the old Republic
well the madness begins. Come Summer its Blue hair. Even though Alan isn't going for the Red hair. Damn him! I am eager to look a fool/mint, i'm not sure which. Keep an eye out i might have a photo up.
well i haven't waffled in here for quite some time. though as usual not much to update apart from the fact I should have a script by now if i wanna win all that cash for the short film. a 10 minute drama, do people know how hard that is? ah well i'll tink of summit.
waaaay! i have notched my poem count up to 27! this calls for some form of celebration! ummm how about the link so you can review it? indeed! that is a kingly gift!
www.fictionpre
review or i eat your children, have a nice day : )
wee exams are up soon, ad tell them to fuck off but they won't listen. Revising its boring and time consuming! exams test your memory and not your intelligence! i have a shit memory! ah wee thats me fucked for life.
the rent guys came round today. I didn't have the money so they raped my trampaleening monkey Jib-Jib. I was sad...
Top Ten films:
1. The Lord of the Rings trilogy, namely the Fellowship being my favourite of the 3.
Without a doubt the greatest film ever made, it tells the story on a straightforwar
2. Star Wars trilogy.
does it look like i give a shit if you think i'm a geek or a nerd? created a phenomenon and some truly amazing games.
3. Indiana Jones trilogy.
If adventure has a name it must be Indiana Jones. the tagline says it all. Made Harrison Ford into a screen icon.
4. Back to the Future.
I love this movie for so many reasons. 1. Micheal J Fox is great. 2. Doc Brown is as wacky a scientist as they get! and 3. it has a grat story and soundtrack.
5.Infernal Affairs.
The best Cat and Mouse film ever made, no doubt the remake will be shit compared to the origanal even if it is done by Martin Scorcese.
6. Evil Dead trilogy.
made Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi stars and truly some of the greatest comedy horrors ever.
7. The naked Gun trilogy.
Anything with Leslie Nielson is funny,fact.
the scene in the first naked Gun when he breaks into the apartment always has me laughing.
8. The Crow.
I do not watch this because of the soundtrack or because its all Gothy I watch it because not only is it a great story of revenge but also the underlining story that was happening with all the other characters who had been affected by the deaths of Shelley and Eric. at the end of the day The Crow is as much love story as it is a revenge flick.
9. John Carpenter films - pre 1990.
some absolutely brilliant films,some terryfying and some funny. Big trouble in little China - comedy Prince of Darkness - creepy as owt.
10. The Punisher.
Finally Frank Castle gets his turn on the big screen! I loved this film from Mark Collie's Harry Heck to John Travolta's Howard Saint. The fight with the Russian was literally taken out of the comic book seemingly drawing by drawing.
damn I never rated Yngwie Malmsteen very high but you gotta admit the dude can play!
poem number 26: welcome to my world has been uploaded to fiction press
www.fictionpre
Take a read and don't be afraid to leave a review unless your mean, in which case please throw yourself from a cliff.
good day and kindest regards
Andrew
i'm goin to take a brief moment and be serious for a minute. I think everyone should say a prayer for Pope John Paul II. Some of you may not be Christians but you don't need to be to recognize what this man has done for the world. I percieve him as a figurehead and icon people should look up to, he cares not for money nor himself but for people to live in a world of safety and where people live in harmony. He gives without any thought of reward. He embraces death without fear. If that isn't a role model for people to realise hope and love are always present, then no one is.
Scripting of "Teen Harvest" is underway! woohoo! now go drink out the toilet in order to commemorate this holy occassion!
today saw a very sad day in History, I have swapped neospikev600@h
man wasn't this a good day? got to chill and chat, now listening to some chilled out songs. Episode 51 of RvB is out, catch it, its a great ep!
Stabbing Westward what a band! first album i ever bought was by them. (Darkest Days)
god damn painting makes you high! i have to keep ducking, these god damn bats swooping at me while i type. Matts coming on soon, he doesn't seem to have seen the bats yet, poor bastard... he'll notice em soon enough. God damn time to come away from the paint!
man my swords are getting rusty can anyone help me find somewhere to get them revamped? maybe that shop in Alnwick? oh well. Off to the Scumm bar i suppose....
happy post St. Patricks day, for those of you searching for a hangover cure UNLUCKY. I think St Patricks should be a few days not just one! but who am i to challenge the clergy! drink up me hearties, yoho!
i've been meaning to post a link to my poetry here for a while.
www.fictionpre
enjoy
now i'm off to make sure Matt doesn't chew on the power cables or get his head stuck in the freezer...
Adios!
well The guy has officially fixed the gas leak, but now thinks he's coming down with another form of rare/exotic illness. hmmmmm. well see if he's in tommorrow. its 50/50 he might be in, though theres only a 10% chance of that.
hey folks have a situation over here, apparently theres a gas leak in the house, the highly qualified guy we brought in to fix the house picked up his drill and proceeded to drill through the gas pipe. He then mysteriously had to dissapear after denying smelling gas so he could go on a "hot date". hmmmmm....
good luck mate. On your head be it if we are dead by morning