I wish I knew

Shesh I always learn things a little too late. I am not doing so well but I don't want to take it out on others. I try to find self control to help others. Obviously I am falling below the mark in that too. Maybe I should just leave everything alone and try to focus on things I need to do. I wish I knew the formula but apparently there is not true winning combination until you hit the true stride. Still I wish I knew the combination.

Frustrated

I guess he is feeling the strain. I would understand if it gets too much.

Falling below the mark

Again I realize things too late. Its very frustrating but I will survive. Surviving seems to be the one thing I am good at doing and don't fall below the mark on. Everything else well that is basically through trial and error. Still one can't help but wonder why do you have facts staring at you and yet you miss the important part. Oh well its normal I suppose I have been sheltered and perfection is a fruitless battle. I will ok thanks to the family and friends I have.

Thinking way too much

I do love this speical person but I also know things can change.I trust his choice but nothing about the future is written in stone. Although I may believe we are soul mates only time will tell if we are ment to be or not. I did not mean to make him upset. I wonder if he would still feel the same even all the questions and such. If he still loves me like he says then I will stay hopeful if not then I hope to be a good friend all the same. Yeah talk about head spinning but it seems to be prickling.

My family cree

Give us the tired, the down touden and unaccepted
We will show you compassion and understanding
If you truly desire it you can be upstanding
Then anything is possible

Emotional storms. I really do wish I knew what life was like outside of the flame. Maybe someone can show me.

I am still a little tired but I will survive.

ARG! YOU KNOW I DO NOT UNDERSTAND! Why must we always stumble in a circle? Why do we always feel the desire of violence? Why must it be we must hurt ourselves and people we love? I know it probably is pointless to let these thoughts out. Still I need an outlet. My niece is walking on a thin path and I fear if she is not careful with her temper she will end up bouching a cheek her tush can't cash. I just wish there was a way to get her to understand that violence is not the answer. ARG!! I feel like I have achieved nothing all week.

my my who would have known.

Why does it seem like I have to take a step backwards before I can go forward? Sigh well I am going to have to make a move and well I may fall flat on my face but it won't b so bad. God gave me feet to get up. He gave me a heart to care but also to be willing to fight. Who knows anything but hey I have to take the chance sometime.

The Dark Ocean

Ones head gets numb
Ones heart beats slowly like an old drum
Ones feet gets icy cold
Ones hand reach without another to hold

The emptyness in your stomach leaves you full
People mistake this as acting a fool
Your hands may hug but do not emitt warm feeling
Your head is left reeling

Everything is cold but not cold enough to kill you
There is no speicific color hue
A cycle that never ends
The oceans fury does not bend

You lose sight of what is important in life
All you can focus on is the strife
Even when those you love pledge devotion
One does not hear anything once you plunge into the dark ocean

I do feel good. Its just energy has changed drastically. Reaching out for someone who has fallen is harder then it seems. Just give that one gesture and you will not regret it.

A life within the flame

How unfair is it to see a meadow
Only to see the green life fall below
You are afraid to touch anything
Stuck with isolation and curious about everything

One wonders how can you get lonely
Its easy to be scared to reach for one and only
You stand on uneven ground
You speak but makes not a sound

Your head screams redemption
Your hand reaches for salvation
your heart afraid to fly
your soul wants no alibi

A life within the fire
Is not necessarily the kind of life one would desire
To work to get past the scorching flame
Is when you can truly embrace the name

I am so torn. My heart is yelling take his love Rebecca. Then my head shouts, DON'T IT COULD BE A TRICK! If that is not bad enough all my kittens died. This is really been an interesting week. He has said that he is trustworthy. my heart trusts him and part of my mind trusts him but I still have that nagging doubt. I have fallen in love but I still have to display caution.

Ok so maybe caring is not so bad. Maybe letting my heart run a little but I need to keep it grounded enough. This day has not been so bad even though my little sister and I have had an adventure.

I'm still a loveable idoit. I'm not really that speical my head is in a cloud and my heart is on fire so what now. Well nothing at the moment I still need to settle on my life before I can even think about something foolish. Its one step foreward but I still need to take two steps back. I got ahead of myself it still isn't enough. My head will turn into mush before the night is over.

The harvest moon is bewitching.

It's hard to know which way to go but once I point to where I will be fine.As of now I am stuck in neutral.

The shootings in Virginia Tech effects me now. Even though I am miles away from the college...the words that south korean male said...It should not justitify killing a bunch of other human beings. In the end his message did reach us but I don't know if it is right to say it was a soul touching message. I don't see why killing many people will get your message heard...was he feeling left out? Was this rage learned by family or something else? Does this show how shallow human nature truly is?

Love is like fire and ice
It will feel so good but does not think twice to leave you in a confused state.
One touch will set the flame
It can just as easily go out with no one to blame.

One can be completely nice
the end result is the heart left in ice

Bad quiz grade...I should have expected it. My dad got concerned and so did my mother...I guess I could have kept it quiet but what good would that have done?