Templar is most unhappy now >.>
Computer froze up for no good reason this afternoon. My Terragen render was at almost 160 hours, and I even had it on pause at the time so as to not cause memory issues. I had been periodically freeing up memory as well. But the computer froze, and despite my best efforts, I had to force a reboot. In other words, the uber render will be another week and a half in coming. Sorry to disappoint -.-

Bah. Reading Sinfest (whilst very, very amusing) makes me wish I had friends to do things with.
Or maybe it's that I haven't been playing GW that I realized I don't have fun with friends.
:o Maybe I'm doing that 'growing up' thing that Silvie was talking about.
Scary.

Final Fantasy meets Dead or Alive in choreographed battle :)
(You will probably not enjoy if you're not a fan of FF, but I liked very much, and choreography is good anyways.)

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/115884.html (part 1, 4 minutes)
http://www.gametrailers.com/player/usermovies/193489.html (part 2, 11 minutes)

Typoed when logging in today. The 'R' and 'E' keys are right next to each other. Almost tried to log in as Aradon Templae. I just wanted to let everyone know that if I'm ever cloned, we'll be referred to as Templae, as that is most definitely my plural form.

Edit: It's like the Bacchae. Except I'm not crazy.

Edit 2: Completely different topic, but same day so same entry. From what I've seen, it's generally not accepted to have a perfect character in a movie, story, or game. I had always attributed this to the fact that nobody's perfect, and therefore a perfect character is unrealistic. However, I think it's also in part because of the impact it has on the viewer/reader/gamer. A perfect character, unless presented very, very carefully, is like a slap in the face to the audience. Even if it isn't intended to be, it can easily make the audience all to aware of their own imperfections. Instead of creating a well-liked person, it creates distaste when it comes to that character's role. Occasionally, at least, and especially if the perfect person is specifically intended to be representative of perfection. Case in point: Aeris in FF VII, perhaps. The whole game she was presented as being unflawed. A bit helpless, perhaps, but Squaresoft gave her no real flaws, and instead made her sacrifice her life to save the world, and connected her with Holy materia in that she was the only one who could use it. Definite intended representation of perfection there. Lots of people may like Aeris, but personally I tend to dislike her theme because she seems to represent a level of perfection that's practically unattainable, which just irritates me >.>
In any case, random thought of the day. Perfect characters are not always lovable, they can instead irritate the audience, so the reason for their general disuse is not due to realism (which is quite unnecessary in video games :D) but due to their interaction with the audience. A good reason to include a perfect character, on the other hand, is for careful foil use.

Went to confession today (finally), hurray.
In other news, I found my keychain. Again. A few years ago when I was visiting Germany, I bought a keychain from a tourist shop just for fun. I decided to hang it from a zipper on my backpack, because my zippers had a tendency to break off, so I'd always be able to use the zipper. Since then, I've kept it with me. It's not exactly a keychain, but it looks like one. The only difference is that instead of having that little ring to loop through, it has a slightly different closing mechanism, and this mechanism has a tendency to become undone somewhat easily. So this thing's falling off my backpack all the time, and I've happened to catch it each time. The number of close calls I've had to losing it are astounding. I recently lost it for good, I had thought, and it's been missing probably for close to a month now. And today I found it :D

A good morning for me:
I woke up and checked Terragen's render progress. Considering it was running since before noon yesterday, I expected it to be complete before I went to bed, but no. It was still 'running' this morning when I woke up. I suspected it froze and crashed, but thankfully, several hours later, I can tell it's just working on water detail. It should be finished before this evening.
I went to class this morning and a friend of mine, before class started, mentioned how she was thirsty but had no money to buy a drink with. So I gave her a dollar. Apparently this is an unusually kind act, at least the way she acted. Well, as she was getting a coke from the vending machine I was still sitting in class, trying to pretend I was still asleep. She came back with a quarter for me and two cokes, and explained that the machine for some reason gave her two. Considering this an act of karma, she gave the second drink to me and we all around agreed it was a very fortunate morning (possibly thanks to the heads-up penny on the floor that we both noticed as we walked in, and which she later picked up).
It was only half-ways through the soda, though, when I remembered it's Lent and I intended to give up soda. So I decided that it wasn't karma after all, but some sort of perverse joke of the universe that such a coincidence might occur. However, upon discussing it, I mentioned that I needed to do a random good deed for someone to make reparations for my accident, when I realized I had already done so and the world was indeed good :D
And then I got home and checked ET. In my list of wikis that were changed, I saw the line "halp iippo! i'm still alive" and laughed. It is a good morning :)

Edit: I forgot to inlcude, I found an uberriffic website: http://planetpixelemporium.com/ . It has all sorts of digital media for me to use for free for planets. I have already downloaded moon lighting and texturing maps to import into Terragen, and I'm still looking at the other planet infos.

I've been here since 2003, almost five years. Since then I've changed tremendously. Whenever I think on the old times, it's with embarrassment at my ridiculous posts, complicated and pointless wikis I didn't even understand, and my overall attitude that I thought I knew what I was doing. At least, that is what comes to mind. I bit off more than I could chew in some cases, and in others I thought my wikis were better than they were.

As opposed to now, when I have no wikis that I run myself, and I do almost absolutely nothing. I think I'm brighter, more intelligent, and more understanding than back then, but I don't do anything. Even outside the wiki, I don't do anything. I play in an orchestra that I don't practice for, I am a music composition major and I haven't written nearly anything at all, and I do no community service at all. It makes me wonder if I've really grown, because if I have, it seems to have gone to waste while I play Guild Wars in my spare time.

But I just don't know what to make. All I can do is tinker around on Terragen (new pic soon, bweee :D). Perhaps I could compose something, but what? I have no idea (taking suggestions :P). I always have the feeling that I should be involved in community service, but have no idea how to get involved (something tells me I should check at the Catholic Center). But see what I mean? All these ideas about what I could do, and I never do anything. I'd say it's frustrating, but I really don't have any room to complain, because I'm the one who can solve all this by just doing something o.O

Anyways, my point of this entry was to note that while I look with something less than approval on my younger self, I have to wonder if I should instead be looking with contempt at myself now for not being brave enough to undertake things larger than me and actually doing something.

Sweet, I was the first person to vote in the new ET poll :D

XD Was reading a webcomic whose joke today strayed into politics, so the forum got somewhat inundated with lighthearted political discussion, and some people, wanting to avoid heated debate, posted things like, "Cheyney/Voldemort 08". However, what really made me laugh was the person who wrote, "Cake/Companion Cube 08". Really cracked me up, hoorah.

Simple fact I've learned before, but I guess I had to relearn it: When you enter a world of self pity, you become blind to the needs of others. And while Piro can get girls by being emo, it does not work like this in real life. Helping others always makes more friends than looking like you need help. And it's always better to worry about others instead of yourself. Except don't get arrogant.

Edit: I decided what makes me feel so odd when I read webcomics and don't finish them. It's the same deal with a good book. I get involved with the characters, and for a while, until I finish the comic, my own feelings (and even life, it appears) are suspended. So I'm demi-emo right now because I don't really have any emotions for the time being. 677 out of some thousand strips down, only about four hundred to go. By the way, not having emotions is somewhat refreshing every once in a while. Though something tells me this is pretty similar to being drunk. Goodnight.

I'm tired of all the cynics who think or say they're nice. It's not very nice of all of you to assume the worst about everything, or to suspect everyone's going to 'let you down' or whatever copied junk you all have on your houses. All that negativity precludes niceness, because it always assumes the worst. Also, don't say you're a nice person if you copy-paste any of those mean house-things (too many to try and describe in one sitting x.x), generally along the lines of, "mess with my friends I'll beat you up" or any variation of, "mess with me I'll blah blah" or "I'm a blah blah so don't mess with me" etc. Again, even threatening to beat someone up or whatnot isn't nice, even if you think it is.

So if you're going to be a nice person or claim to be a nice person, keep a careful eye on what you say and what you paste into your house (better yet, write your house originally >.<), because a lot of Elftown isn't nice at all.

(For those wondering, I was just tired of clicking house links and finding crap like, "Everyone's going to let you down someday .... I'm a nice person" <wha? No I didn't just say everyone lets people down...> and such. Cynicism isn't kind. In fact, the extent many people take it is downright rude.)

Hurrah, no more worries about whether or not I can compose. Why? Because I literally do it in my sleep o.O
I was half asleep this morning and thought I was listening to my mp3 player, because I could distinctly hear music. However, I decided when I was fully awake that I most certainly was not listening to my mp3 player. In other words, my head was making up music for me to listen to, and it was of tremendous quality. No joke, it was good enough that I thought (in my half awake stupor) that it was from FF IX. If I were better at my sightsinging and aural skills, I could have written it down and stuff, but you know how easy it is to forget dreams when you're conscious. So I just need to learn how to do that while I'm awake and I'll have it made :D

Another interesting dream. I can't detail much of it out, been too long since this morning, but I figured I'd jot it down here, since it was a fairly interesting plotline. At least, that's how it seemed to me when I was asleep :P

So, there was an ancient culture of people that weren't documented in our records. Most likely pre-historic civilization that was somewhat advanced in technology, probably a little behind modern day. No internet, I wouldn't think, but lights and that sort of thing. In any case, they were a single civilization that lived under an extraordinarily long line of monarchs who were greatly respected, almost worshiped like the Pharaohs. The difference between them and us is that they had special, subtle powers, such as advanced perception, reflexes, and semi-magical powers, notably the ability to become invisible to others not of their race. However, there was a conflict, presumably with another race of their time, and the line of kings disappeared with one of the monarchs. The civilization essentially went into hiding, underground both literally and metaphorically.
The twist is that they felt that their laws and traditions should still be respected worldwide, and while the world without them changed, they held to their beliefs. Modern laws began to differ from theirs, and soon they began sending out enforcers in covert operations to enforce their own laws, to basically run the world as they thought it should be. To them, it seemed that their line of kings was still the rightful rulers of the world, and thus their decrees should be enforced. So it was sort of like manipulating world events without anyone finding out, an invisible group almost running the world.

For some reason I got the lucky position of being in the line of kings (zomg cliche, but I can't help what happens in my dreams :( ), so I was taken to their secret kingdom and placed in charge of their uber covert police force :P

Wow, I just read through what I typed, and I think it sounds kind of like what ARI was yapping about o.O

Observation about my university life. It can be divided into several sections.

First, there is the Music School, where I do most of my classes, practicing, attending concerts and the like. Currently this portion of my education is the most tedious because practicing so much is terrible at this point. I plan on improving this important section by attending concerts (not many have been performed yet), continuing classes which I enjoy, and improving practicing as soon as I can stop rehashing the basics. This section is responsible for my artistic development. Needs some improvement, as planned.

Secondly, there is the section of core classes I take. This section should be as minimal as possible, as it is merely general education and relatively unimportant to my degree. Currently I have very few core classes, and the number is only going to decrease, I believe. Hurray for AP credit. This section needs little improvement or work.

The Honors division of the campus holds my greatest interest. It contains the extracurricular events, all special programs, and any other items of interest for me. Currently I have little to do with this division of the university, but hopefully this will change. I do not have any plans so far as to how, but I hope to find out in my honors advisement and honors seminar. This branch is responsible for development of character. Needs great improvement, no plans yet.

Besides these sections, there is the Catholic community, in which I am hardly involved. I think a little involvement might be in order, but I do not consider involvement here to be imperative to spiritual growth. Needs minor improvement, plans in progress.

And finally, the recreational division of my university life. It involves things like Facebook, Elftown, Guild Wars, etc. This should be a small, but still existent section. I think I'm doing fine here.

In short:
Music- some improvement
Honors- great improvement
Catholic- little improvement
Core- little improvement
Recreational: little improvement

I have an application on Facebook that gives me daily Bible quotes. Today it gave me this one, and I decided I'd like to save it:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4)

I like this one because it brings up a point I've tried to explain to myself before. I've always thought that people's 'inward self', as this quote calls it, shows through on a person's face anyways. People I find to be beautiful tend to have an inner beauty anyways. Some people that others have called attractive struck me as somewhat ugly in my opinion mainly because of their face, which seems to me to look less beautiful. The strange thing is it's sort of an intangible quality that I find difficult to describe; it's kind of a "They look nice" or "They look mean" sort of thing. In any case, my point is that while this encourages disregard for physical beauty and promotes inward beauty, I'd add on that the latter will create the former, from what I've seen.