Work. Meh.

I went to work at around 11 this morning, found it to be nearly flooded with water, filled with morons who couldn't figure out what they wanted to eat, and fussy ice cream orderers.

It was very sad when I went out to scoop some ice cream for a woman. She asked for some Superman, which I responded with the polite and apologetic "Ma'am, I'm very sorry to say that we're out of that flavour. Maybe you'd like something else?" Her son started crying. He wanted Superman, dammit, and when we tried to appease him with the promise of sherbet that looked the same, he yelled that I was a liar and he hated me. I laughed and though "control your goddamn kid, lady."

She said she' like cookie dough in the absence of Sman. I told her we were also out of that. She was angered by that.

I told her we were also out of French Vanilla and Mint Chocolate Chip. She started yelling at me about how I obviously wasn't a very responsible employee, and how I should've told my boss to buy some. I politely informed her that my boss had been notified, but not bought replacement yet. She asked to see my boss. I called my boss out, she explained the situation, the lady told my boss she should fire me for being such a bad employee and not giving her a raincheck or free ice cream. I said that it would be stupid to do that. She yelled at me some more. Her daughter tore the bell off of the door in anger. I said the woman had to pay; the little girl screamed for 10 minutes till I just ignored her. Then she started slamming stuff around, and when I grabbed an expensive lamp from her hands, her mother told me I should be ashamed. I flipped out.

"WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! I DON'T MAKE THE GOD DAMN ICE CREAM, I DON'T BUY IT, I JUST SCOOP IT! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN PISS OFF! YOU OWE ME 44 DOLLARS TO REPLACE WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER JUST BROKE, AND AN INEXPLICABLE AMOUNT OF SANITY!!!"

Needless to say, I didn't get fired. But the woman called the police, saying I had assaulted her, and when they got there, they said "Hey, Kyle."

"Hey Officer LaBonte."
"You didn't assault this lady, did you?"
"No, but I tore her a new one because her daughter broke a bunch of stuff in here."
"Ahhh. I figured. She complained about you demanding money and trying to rob her. Eh, I'll be right back."

He came back in with the woman and told her to give me 100 dollars or he would fine her 500 for disturbing the peace, 300 for destruction of property, and 100 for a public outburst. I laughed as she coughed up the benjamin. Hell yes.