Changes to Come.

The following warnings still apply:
I typically enjoy mostly proper English grammar, punctuation, and spelling in messages; I will not nitpick unless your lack of ability at typing or speaking are violently observable; and yes, in case you were wondering, I AM an English major.

...and a Psychology major as well.

_{Just thought I should warn you...}

I'm obligated by all that is semi-intelligent in this world to completely and utterly humiliate and embarrass anyone sending me a pointless message, all in a manner of my own choosing.

These pointless messages include, but are not limited to the following:
^{"Hey"; "What's Up"; "Hi"; "You're Hot"; "You're Ugly"; "OMFG I LOERV IRISHSSS"; "BEARD"; or anything involving cyber sex or stupidity not accepted by the terms of agreement I made with my pre-existing friends (when you have this privilege, I will let you know - old friends need not apply).}
I am not mandated to react kindly to anything outlined above or that I may deem hilariously stupid.

No one protects this house. No, really, I don't have anyone who will bite your ear off or come anally penetrate you if you mess with me. I'm perfectly capable of cold-blooded murder myself, thank you. :)

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR DAMAGES CAUSED TO YOU BY THIS HOUSE.