He's gone.

Hey, there actually will be a diary entry coming soon. I've been told these things are good for me. :D

I <3 teh pen15.

JOSH GROBAN IS AMAZING!!!

Someone tell me it's over.

PS: That kitty pewp thing? Yeah, we're like this:

RAWR

I ♥ kitty pewp.

5 years ago today America was threatened.

5 years ago today we came together to fight for peace, justice and love.

5 years ago today President Bush declared a war on terror.

Today we mourn the lives of those who stayed calm to the end of their fateful plane ride; we mourn those who died in the ensuing disaster; and we mourn those brave souls who went in after them and died trying to save lives.

We mourn Fathers, Brothers, Sons; Mothers, Sisters, Daughters; relations and chance meetings; we mourn those we love and those we do not know.

I don't care if you knew no one who died in the 9/11 catastrophe. I don't care if you support Bush's war. I don't care if you don't believe in God.

For them, for those whose lives were spent on human foolishness, please, for their sake, give at least a moment of silence after you read this. Pray that we find a way to end the violence. Pray for those who lost lives and those who lost loved ones.

God Bless America.

Well there goes a good mood.

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

*hums "For the Longest Time"*

Oh, sorry.

Anyway, I'm sure some of you are wondering what the hell Elysium means.

Well, here it is:

"Elysium" Greek from Elysion, Latinized into Elysium. Believed by some to be derived from Elesion, meaning "a place struck by lightning", but more commonly accounted to Egyptian "ialu" or Reed Fields, a paradisical place.

In literature, including the bible and pagan religious text, as well as Shakespearean literature and even French language, Elysium means "paradise" or "a search for paradise".

Elysian fields : a paradise
Elysium: A place of paradise, a search for paradise
Champs-Elysees: "Elysian Fields" in french, called a paradise.

There's the literature lesson for today, kiddies :D.

I'm downloading even more music. I'm only up to 1300 songs, and I need more than 700 to catch Carla, the fiend :D.

She cheated, she had a year of college!!

Haha. Anyway, time now for me to get on that.

Gnight.

Surprise! Now you have something to do!

So, I really enjoy not working. Being unemployed is one of those things that you never really realize you miss until you don't have the luxury of doing it. Ahh, yes, sleeping until 11 AM and going to bed at 3 AM. Tis such a lovely thing to doooooo.

Watched some movies with Carla yesterday, mainly Final Destination 3 and When a Stranger Calls. Both were good, FD3 on a very gruesome, sickening level and WaSC on a suspenseful level.

I watched Radio today and cried a little bit. I hate that I'm all emotional and shit over movies, but dammit it's a good movie and if you don't like my run on sentences then you can take me nuts in yer left hand roll em around a bit smother em in whipped cream and lick for all yer worth.

Um, wow, what a rant that was. *ahem*.

Anyway, um, yeah, I'm bored at this moment in time, but tomorrow I'm going to my grandparents, which may or may not end up being a good thing. Sunday I have to go downstate to a family reunion I'm totally not looking forward to, but I have to go anyway.

I hope I get a lot of people to come on Saturday for DnD. If not, well, then, I guess I kind of knew it would end up that way. So far I have yeses from: Ben and I; maybes, probably yes from: Phil, Justin; no from Nathan; no response from Patric, Nathaniel, Larry, Nicole and Tiffany; and a "I'll glue myself to you" from Ryan.

That's all for now.

Can't help this.

I've been replaced in many, many ways. I know my actions caused it.

I think, though, that it's helping me along to really see I have a different place in that life these days.

There's something more on my mind, now, but about something totally different. Ok, well, slightly different.

Lord God, in heaven, hallowed be thy name, please give your blessing to one of your misguided children.

Please, o Lord, if you can hear this, please, grant me that eternal bliss that I now realise I would be so lost without.

I've been healed through pain, and I've come through as a better man with an understanding of what love must be. Please Lord, let her see that I have done these things, that I am worthy to walk beside her with hands held and with smiles.

I've hurt her in so many ways, but that pain has been returned in grief and guilt, but can never be truly measured, for initial pain can never be given back with pain received by one's own problems. She hurts. I am pained. Take our pains away, please, Lord. I submit to you. I give myself to your divine love and perfection and hope that all turns out well.

I love her, Lord. I feel it so deeply in my heart. I feel a love burning within me that is stronger than any pain I've ever felt; she has helped me and stood next to me through so many epiphanies and pains that I can only hope that it is in your plan to keep her there now when I need her most.

I'm so nervous, God. I don't want this to end. I don't want to close the book on this part of my life. I want to prove to her that I can be something great, God. I want to prove that I'm good enough and that I can be what she wants me to be, what I want me to be, what I truly am. Not what paranoia has made me. I want to be who I am inside. Not the mask I show to others to protect myself. I want to be the unrestrained, loving man who can make her happy and be her strength.

Please Lord, in your name, save us.

Forever in thy dominion do I lie, now in thy world and then in thy hands when thy kingdom come. Forever in your name, Amen.

I'm at school, and they proxied blogspot, so I can't do anything with that currently. I guess I'll just write it here.

Yes, you're right.

I'm assuming the worst.


Because I love you, I'm not going to make a big deal of it, I'm going to calm down, understand that nothing is going on, and understand that you're not having a terribly needy time right now. I'm going to try to deal with this. I'm going to try to not worry and fawn about it. I'm not going to accuse you. I'm not going to say it should be about me.

I am going to ask, though.

Do you enjoy being alone more than you enjoy being with me? If so...do you want to be with me?

I NEVER
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(X) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(X) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(X) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(X) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(X) I NEVER BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(X) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(_) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(X) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(X) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(X) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(X) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(X) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(X) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING
(_) I NEVER PUT MY PANTS ON MY HEAD RANDOMLY
(_) I NEVER WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER WALKED IN ON MY PARENTS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX
(_) I NEVER LIED JUST TO COVER MY OWN ASS
(X) I NEVER CUT SOMEONE AND MADE THEM BLEED
(X) I NEVER TOLD SOMEONE I LOVED THEM JUST TO MAKE ME OR THEM FEEL BETTER
(X) I NEVER ATE A LIVE GOLDFISH

Work. Meh.

I went to work at around 11 this morning, found it to be nearly flooded with water, filled with morons who couldn't figure out what they wanted to eat, and fussy ice cream orderers.

It was very sad when I went out to scoop some ice cream for a woman. She asked for some Superman, which I responded with the polite and apologetic "Ma'am, I'm very sorry to say that we're out of that flavour. Maybe you'd like something else?" Her son started crying. He wanted Superman, dammit, and when we tried to appease him with the promise of sherbet that looked the same, he yelled that I was a liar and he hated me. I laughed and though "control your goddamn kid, lady."

She said she' like cookie dough in the absence of Sman. I told her we were also out of that. She was angered by that.

I told her we were also out of French Vanilla and Mint Chocolate Chip. She started yelling at me about how I obviously wasn't a very responsible employee, and how I should've told my boss to buy some. I politely informed her that my boss had been notified, but not bought replacement yet. She asked to see my boss. I called my boss out, she explained the situation, the lady told my boss she should fire me for being such a bad employee and not giving her a raincheck or free ice cream. I said that it would be stupid to do that. She yelled at me some more. Her daughter tore the bell off of the door in anger. I said the woman had to pay; the little girl screamed for 10 minutes till I just ignored her. Then she started slamming stuff around, and when I grabbed an expensive lamp from her hands, her mother told me I should be ashamed. I flipped out.

"WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! I DON'T MAKE THE GOD DAMN ICE CREAM, I DON'T BUY IT, I JUST SCOOP IT! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN PISS OFF! YOU OWE ME 44 DOLLARS TO REPLACE WHAT YOUR DAUGHTER JUST BROKE, AND AN INEXPLICABLE AMOUNT OF SANITY!!!"

Needless to say, I didn't get fired. But the woman called the police, saying I had assaulted her, and when they got there, they said "Hey, Kyle."

"Hey Officer LaBonte."
"You didn't assault this lady, did you?"
"No, but I tore her a new one because her daughter broke a bunch of stuff in here."
"Ahhh. I figured. She complained about you demanding money and trying to rob her. Eh, I'll be right back."

He came back in with the woman and told her to give me 100 dollars or he would fine her 500 for disturbing the peace, 300 for destruction of property, and 100 for a public outburst. I laughed as she coughed up the benjamin. Hell yes.