this is just painful. they've got to give me that medicine as soon as posible now, or i'm gonna break down again. i can't do this! i don't wanna go back to that hospital, and i don't wanna be embarest of who i am right now. i wish it didn't hav to be like this. three weeks is more than i can take right now. four would be even worse. i can't do anything. and i don't wanna cry. but it happens all the time. one day of sleeping isn't enough rest. one night with no nightmores isn't enough. one message every month won't do it. right now love and hate is too close to each other. it can't keep on like this. so why do i know i'll fogive him at once if he send me one before it's too late? when is too late? this friday? next month? after the summer? i don't know anymore. all i know is how much it hurts. i wish it would go away.

The Fish

The fish cried
It had a broken heart
No one can live with a broken heart
The fish dies

When the fish is dead
they cut it into pieces,
wash it,
out it into bags
and put it on ice
till they know
how they're gonna eat it

if they're gonna frie or boil it
depending on what
they feel like eating

wonder why i don't like eating fish?

it's dead

I wonder what was it's story
what problems he had faced
other than the one who was to be his doom
How did he live?
and where?
all we know about him is what kind of fish he is
how he died
and how he tastes

how does it feel
to kill?
did he taste good?
do you think i taste good?
wanna kill me to find out?
no?
then why did you do it to him?
why are me and him so different?
cause you know me?
cause i'm like you?
if you can kill me
others can kill you
and you don't want that

well,
he was like me
or rather
i was like him
are you gonna make me eat him
would you like it
if others
made you eat me?