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[MyWings]'s diary

842033 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2006-08-21
Written: (6510 days ago)

*Gathering Info*
all the info i've gathered here comes from pages on the internet... I need to keep it here to read it later, and since it kinda does affect my friends i just though i wouldn't hide it...

Bipolar disorder is a serious medical illness that can affect a person's ability to feel a normal range of moods. People with bipolar disorder have mood swings that can range from very low (depression) to very high (mania).

Bipolar disorder is also known as manic depression. The word "bipolar" is now used because the disorder is made up of two poles, or extremes.

For example, picture a globe. The North Pole would be mania, and the South Pole would be depression. Every time a person experiences symptoms of one pole for a specific period of time, it is called an episode.

They should talk with their healthcare providers about these episodes.

Types of Episodes

According to the American Psychiatric Association, bipolar disorder includes the following four types of mood episodes:
Depression - People with bipolar disorder can feel very sad, sometimes for long periods of time. They may not even want to get out of bed or eat. They don't enjoy doing things they used to do.
Mania - Mania is the other side of bipolar disorder. Mania may start with a good feeling, almost like a "high." Or it may make a person feel very irritable and angry. People with mania may do very risky things.
Hypomania - Hypomania is a milder form of mania. A person may feel good and may think that he or she is getting more things done. But the "feel good" stage can change into full-blown mania or depression.
Mixed mood - Feelings of mania and depression can also go back and forth in the same day. This is called a mixed episode.
With all types of episodes, patients are at risk for suicide.

Experiencing four or more episodes of mania and/or depression in a year is called rapid-cycling bipolar disorder.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

Mania Symptoms:
Increased energy level
Less need for sleep
Racing thoughts or mind jumps around
Easily distracted
More talkative than usual or feeling pressure to keep talking
More self-confident than usual
Focused on getting things done, but often completing little
Risky or unusual activities to the extreme, even if it’s likely bad things will happen
Depression Symptoms:
Feeling sad or blue, or “down in the dumps”
Loss of interest in things the person used to enjoy, including sex
Feeling worthless, hopeless, or guilty
Sleeping too little or too much
Changes in weight or appetite
Feeling tired or having little or no energy
Feeling restless
Problems concentrating or making decisions
Thoughts of death or suicide
Bipolar disorder is a lifelong illness. But today there are many treatments for people with bipolar disorder. People with bipolar disorder should ask their healthcare providers how to best stabilize their moods and work with their healthcare providers to find what is best for them.

Bipolar disorder (previously known as manic depression) is a psychiatric diagnostic category describing a class of mood disorders in which the person experiences depression and/or mania, hypomania, and/or mixed states. There are classes of Bipolar Disorder' Bipolar I & Bipolar II. Left untreated, it can be a disabling condition. The difference between bipolar disorder and unipolar disorder (also called major depression) — is bipolar disorder involves elevated mood states and might also involve depressive mood states. The duration and intensity of mood states varies widely among people with the illness. Fluctuating from one mood state to the next is called "cycling". Mood swings can cause impairment or improved functioning depending on their severity. There can be changes in one's energy level, sleep pattern, activity level, social rhythms and cognitive functioning. During these times, some people may have difficulty functioning.

(It amkes a lot more sense now, a while afterwards...)

Some people with bipolar disorder become suicidal. Anyone who is thinking about committing suicide needs immediate attention, preferably from a mental health professional or a physician. Anyone who talks about suicide should be taken seriously. Risk for suicide appears to be higher earlier in the course of the illness. Therefore, recognizing bipolar disorder early and learning how best to manage it may decrease the risk of death by suicide.

Signs and symptoms that may accompany suicidal feelings include:

talking about feeling suicidal or wanting to die
feeling hopeless, that nothing will ever change or get better
feeling helpless, that nothing one does makes any difference
feeling like a burden to family and friends
abusing alcohol or drugs
putting affairs in order (e.g., organizing finances or giving away possessions to prepare for one's death)
writing a suicide note
putting oneself in harm's way, or in situations where there is a danger of being killed
If you are feeling suicidal or know someone who is:
call a doctor, emergency room, or 911 right away to get immediate help
make sure you, or the suicidal person, are not left alone
make sure that access is prevented to large amounts of medication, weapons, or other items that could be used for self-harm
While some suicide attempts are carefully planned over time, others are impulsive acts that have not been well thought out; thus, the final point in the box above may be a valuable long-term strategy for people with bipolar disorder. Either way, it is important to understand that suicidal feelings and actions are symptoms of an illness that can be treated. With proper treatment, suicidal feelings can be overcome.

The classic form of the illness, which involves recurrent episodes of mania and depression, is called bipolar I disorder. Some people, however, never develop severe mania but instead experience milder episodes of hypomania that alternate with depression; this form of the illness is called bipolar II disorder. When four or more episodes of illness occur within a 12-month period, a person is said to have rapid-cycling bipolar disorder. Some people experience multiple episodes within a single week, or even within a single day. Rapid cycling tends to develop later in the course of illness and is more common among women than among men.

838470 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2006-08-14
Written: (6517 days ago)

THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS LYRICS

"Move Along"

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[elftown is my life]

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along
[fade out]

832147 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2006-07-30
Written: (6532 days ago)

Funny about music.
if there's a feeling you wish you could put into words but you simply can't find the words, you can know for sure someone else has managed to put it into words, and put it in a song. it's amazing how they manage to write down just what you're thinking or feeling. songs about pain, songs about love, songs about life... it's all there. at least close to all...
music is everywhere...everyone knows that. and it reminds us of different things. different people or situations... i normaly have music on when i read, and those songs i listen to always remind me of the book i was reading while i listened to it. even thought the music doesn't fit the book at all. hehe

lately i've been listening to a lot of new music (by new i mean music i've never listened to before...)... i have found words for many new feelings in there somewhere. or everywhere really. music may keep me sane... or saner than i would have been without it. even when i don't let out what i've got inside, the music may get it out for me.
ok, that sounded really weird. i'm just gonna stop writing now. i'm not capable of writing anything sane at the mo. i'm too far gone XD

827076 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-07-20
Written: (6542 days ago)

the only thing worse than being close to someone, watching their pain, is knowing they're hurting and not being there.

826769 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2006-07-19
Written: (6543 days ago)

Everywhere
by Yellowcard

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
'Cause when I look you're, you're never there
But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Tell me how I got this far
Tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
You might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
There never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
You're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?

it's a nice song. i've had it on my mind for many days now. funny how fast it disapeared

820167 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2006-07-06
Written: (6556 days ago)

Next in thread: 820953

edwin mccain
i could not ask for more

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Chorus
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Chorus

I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Coz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

818610 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2006-07-03
Written: (6559 days ago)

wow... ok, so i keep on changing all the time, till i've gotten all of me back together... deal with it... i can't help it.
i have now goteen my meidicine, so my mood should be more stabil in a few weeks... till then i'm mostly gonna be really sleepy... don't expect me to remember too much, in other words...:P

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