as i sit in this dark, cold room,
i think of things...
like should i be here? or even be alive?
as i bring the blade closer, and slice my delakit skin,
crimson red hits the floor,
like my last seconds on earth.

as i start to fade away,
my time ending near,
a flash hits me and i see your face.
why am i doing this?
when you find out,
i know you wont love me.
what will you do?
will you love, or hate
me?
as i dial your number,
buttons start to fade.
is this it? will i ever get to say good bye?
i love... you.

my suicidal end by shiba (dani!!!)
damnit dani i love ya dont pull shit like this or i will kick ya ass

she loves me,
she loves me not.
this always bein a thought.

i think of you,
day and night,
always giving me a fright

do you like me?
do you hate me?
always debating.

could you hold me in your arms?,
never letting go?

to show me love,
which i have never know?
  by shiba(dani!!!)
i love it..oh yes, oh yes i do

was broed so i made a list of all the colors my hair has been

my hair has been


green
blood red
bubblegum pink
hot pink
blue-green
baby blue
blue
bright purple
dark purple
white
black
yellow(not blonde lol)
blonde
reg, like normal person red
raven black
grey


i think thats all lol

A random convo. between me and nick

Me- I know
Nick- I know u know
Me- I know u know I know
Nick- I know u know that I know that u know
Me- and I know that u know that I know that u know that I know
Nick- I know...infinity
Me- I know a google lol
Nick- doot,… doot doot,… doot doot doot
Me- weird

I live in the past
I can't move on beyond the pain
I feel no release
I want to find my peace of mind
My fear (loser) - it's holding me stillborn
My fear (come on) - I'll never be again
(don't fear)

You stole the innocence
From a child to be no more
Blinded by the silence
Afraid to ever speak a word

Thinking on the times of my demise and
I wish it wasn't me the victimized
and I don't know
really can't see how I really couldn't kill the mother who violated me

Why aren't you here
Why does life seem so unfair
You were strength in my darkest days
Now how can I face the world
Alone - I need you here
God tell me why
My friend is gone
and I'll give up forever to be with you
So tell me why - My friend is gone
Why God - my friend is gone
Tell me why my friend is gone

Won't you come back to me
In my dreams I want to see
All the promises we made come true
And to have just one more time - with you

Forgive my negativity
This world is cold and empty
They tell me time will heal the pain
But I know I'll never be the same
Without you - I need you here

All that I am is do to you
Do you see that you live in me
Eternally I'll always be
Connecting and reflecting to your memory
Can you see me can you feel me
Can you hear me can you heal me
I can't take this I can't fake this
I can't shake this Life is so unfair
I need you here - please

Now
I'm alone in the dark
With the lights turned on
Where no one knows me
Now
I wear my mask
To see who I am
But I don't know me

I don't wanna be here
(for breakin' me down)
I just don't wanna be anymore...no

Hey you
Why Me again
Hey you
Wish I could be someone else

(Truth, Truth, Truth)
The truth is hard to face
Yeah, when it stares you down

Hey you
Hey you
Why Me
(Please, please, please, please)

God, please tell me why
I'm lost inside
Where can I find me
I've lost the will to see
I've lost the will to be
It's always the same, the same
this time

I don't wanna be here
(for breakin' me down)
I just don't wanna be anymore...no

Hey you
Why Me again
Hey you
Wish I could be someone else

(Truth, Truth, Truth)
The truth is hard to face
Yeah, when it stares you down

Hey you
Hey you
Why (hey you) Me
Hey you
Why Me

I don't
wanna be
anymore

You don't look hard to find
What's deep in your mind
It's easier to hate than see
Your convictions of stone
You kill off your own
You desperately want to be
Masses dead inside open up your eyes
You're broken and cold seeing your blindsight

Why's humankind going down
Am I the only one that can see it
Am I the only one that can feel it
Why's the human mind slowing down
Am I the only one that can see it
Am I the only one - why am I going down
Your going down sucker
Yeah sucker down

I see through your disguise
Your self-righteous lies
Destroy what you don't understand
I cannot help but feel
That time doesn't heal
Impressions that will never mend

I have come to realize
When I look in your eyes
I'm staring back at me......

Someone's gonna pull a trick [laugh]
He sees the sign of the times
She sees a mission.
He's been trying, tells her why she has no premonition.
Her calous heart, with bitter salt
To fill the void, that you want
So she says
Amaze me

If I wasn't here
it wouldn't make a difference anyway
If I wasn't here
it wouldn't make a difference anyway

As logic ends she descends
Two less than zero
Looks like a freak unwanted geek, you'll never be
able to be my hero
She reads the lines, and other minds
and otherwise
So she says
Amaze me

If I wasn't here
it wouldn't make a difference anyway
If I wasn't here
it wouldn't make a difference anyway

If I weren't here
If I weren't here
(it wouldn't matter anyway)
Tell me what I'm missin'
Just tell me anything

Tell me that you give your sympathy
Tell me that you give it all to me
Tell me that you give me your sanity
[Ah, Ah,]
Tell me that you give your sympathy
Tell me that you give it all to me
Tell me that you give your sanity

Just tell me anything...just....

If I wasn't here
it wouldn't make a difference anyway
If I wasn't here
it wouldn't make a difference anyway

If I weren't here
If I weren't here
(it wouldn't matter anyway)
Tell me what I'm missin'
Just tell me
(ohhh, yeahhhh)
about it [laugh]

hi this is J i was bored so i made a list of random things ashley has said of course she told me exactly what they were cuz it wasnt like i memorized em

Everything looks perfect from far away
Cause I’m riach biacth
The more ppl I meet, the more I like my dog
Work harder I’m on welfare
Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the fire hydrant
Your ugly and your momma dresses you funny
Sorry it’s not my day to care
Some mornings it dosent pay to gnaw through the leather straps
A clean desk is a sign of a sick mind

in the words of my main friend DANI!!!!!!



"Just wanted to say hope you get hit by a car on the way home" :)



isnt it the best, so mean yet happy



i think it shud go


"i hope your heart gets ripped out by a physco killer"


bwahhaha

Atop the grave


One tear fell down her face
As she sat atop her one true loves grave
Knowing it was all her fault
That person wasn’t just someone to exalt


Lying to herself
Seeing that person inside
No where to run
No where to hide


“Just kill yourself,” she says
“It’ll all go away”
“All the hurt”
“All the pain”


Taking a deep breath
Screaming inside
Holding the gun to her head
Now she was dead
by.... do i really need to say

roses


All the black roses
Piercing my heart
Taking me into the darkness
With every thought


Looking around
for signs of life
But through the darkness
There is no light


I thought about
The way you see
With every thing
That seems so perfect


I woke up from this
Wired dream
With black petals
Floatin around me

Everyday brings change,and the world puts on a new face
Sudden things rearrange, and this whole world seems like a new place
Secretly i been tailing you
Like a fox that prays on a rabbitt
Had to get you and so i knew
I had to learn your ways and habits
Ooooooh, you were the catch that i was after
I looked up and i was in your arms and i knew that i was captured


What's this whole world comin to
Things just ain't the same
Any time the hunter gets captured by the game


I had to lay such a tender trap
Hoping you might fall into it
Love hit me with a sudden slap
One kiss and then i knew it
Ooooooh, my plans didn't work out like i thought
'Cause i had laid my trap for you but it seems that i got caught


What's this whole world comin to
Things just ain't the same
Any time the hunter gets captured by the game


Ah yeah, yeah yeah, hey yeah

your


your lips
your eyes
your touch
your sighs
your hair
your breath
your kiss
your warmth
your mine
  by me again

 I hate


I hate life
I wanna die
I hate life
why?


I hate you
oh yes I do
In hate you
you hate me to?


I hate love
so much
I hate love
even just a touch


I hate the world
just the thought
I hate the world
let it ROT
   by me
i dont really(only sometimes)

i just remembered..i saw a monk at my cousins graduation..it was so flippin awesome he was in the whole brown robe and the weird shoe thingys and it looked like he was gliddin w/the way he walked ...so kewlll

Fuck art
By shut up Shelley

Fuck art
Or becoming an artist
Or being an artist
Or wondering whether anyone is smart enough to say anything about art
Fuck the whole idea of deciding anything
Selling anything
Turning anything I create into something that someone may buy
Judging anything
Commodifying anything
Maybe I’m just a scared little pantywaste of a girl
Maybe I’m just afraid and wondering what to do with my life
Maybe It is just my life I am deciding here
Maybe I am deciding not to put my life in anyone but my own penniless
Hands
I am writing this minute and I don’t know why
I don’t know anything
I don’t know if I would not live without this
Are you wasting your time
I know what I am doing right now
And I don’t know
Me
I don’t know who will call me poet or writer or cliché or stupid
Or follower or hanger-on or accountant or genius

If the air was something to be earned I would be wondering whether I was
Good enough to
Breathe

I share what I create
It is a terror it is necessity
No matter what, I would be creating something
But here I am so public
I cannot help myself
Like breathing and apologizing for using up the air
That someone may need the air more or just plain old breathe better thereby
Truly deserving
AIR.

My momma says “be pretty girl”
My dad is on my case
Like. Am I a doll or a member
Of the freakin’ human race?
Everyday they come on like
I’m the family disgrace
Hey momma, hey daddy,
Just get out of my face

Me, I’m just me
Not some crazy kind of creature
But when I go to school
I get hassles from the teacher
She says that when there’s trouble
She knows I’m gonna feature
She’s “heaven knows, I try my best
But I just cannot ‘what I call’ reach her.”

Bad girl, bad girl
With a bad kind of fame
For being the baddest of the bad
Bad girl is my name

The boys all try to hit on me
“let’s go clubbin’ out tonight”
They tell me I’m a babe
I’m such a pretty sight
But when we hit high street
They find out too right
This baby ain’t for dancing
This baby wants to fight!

I’m a dawg, all you people
I’m danger on the prowl
On the street, in the heat
In the gutters mean and foul
Hear my bark, feel my bite
Hear my wolverine growl

Bwahahhaahaa hehe I love it ….yay…

Other fish
By M. Doughty 

A girl with a backpack on a cellular phone sighs;
Between the exhale and the first consonant
A van barrels through her, who knows
What the boy thinks, his line slipping from her voice,
Her words sucked backwards through the wire?
Two hours from now he’ll be drunk,
His slurred thoughts slobbering over motives,
Why she decided suddenly to leave him
And hung up mid-word.

The phone yelps angrily from under a bus,
And she lays splayed like an asterisk
In the dreary sentence of Fourteenth Street.

They say-take it easy, take it slow
They say-give it time and let it grow
They tell me take it one day at a time

They say-that caution never fails
One day-the wind will catch my sails
And take me trough the shadow land, the second hand

And soon I’m gonna climb…
And I’ll be high in the sky
Looking down on the world
Me on my private cloud
Living my daydreams
Wherever I go
Singing my life out loud.

I wanna fuck you like an animal... I wanna feel you from the inside... I wanna fuck you like an animal... My whole existance is flawed... You get me closer to God...

closer by n.i.n