its time for the ashley is talking to herself part of the day
Dear, diary...
oh man that sounds gay...
Well I talked to jerkola... you know.. ya I know you know who I'm talking about diary.. anyways he says hes gonna take me! *laughs* ya.. ya ya ya it was funny to hear.. also somewhat scary in a sense.. so anyways Ive had eventful days diary.. and more ahead.. grammy is doing well in chemo.. She hasnt even lost all of her hair
Oh and yesterday I had another nosebleedy passeyout episode.. my ribs hurt from it..I hardly got any blood on the rug. Oh and the hives are gone, I still want to go to the hospital though, My headaches are getting worse, Its all ringy and it makes me passout when I walk to warren to get my sister (which I have to do in 30 mins). Phoenix keeps saying I have a tumor and Im gonna die next month. Oh well huh. *nodnod* Dani stopped cutting, and other mom found out about everything. My real father is still working.. so I get child support still. My parents are freaking me out. I think I should move to, I dont know.. somewhere far away, somewhere exciting.. with no people..
Mom is relying on me more, I think thats good. I stopped drawing and tattooing. Yeah.. well untill next time diary..
to much pretazone! wooo....... *holds stomach* it actually kind of hurts though.. and I have a fever... and I'm shakey, lightheaded and achey... I cant see well... my throat feels funny, It hurts to breath.....mom
Fucken A.. it burns.. it burns soooo much..
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
Evoked and entertained through centuries
Wrathful and sullen -- Dormant still
The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last
Hear my offering
Ye bastard sons and daughters
Share my sacrifice
Share my sacrifice.
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
Reconcile not with the fear of the snake
But embrace it as your own
Inject its venom into your veins
And replant the seed that gives growth
Still shrouded in mystery
Until you arise above perception
A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout generations
(A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout multiple generations
Let me be the one that deliver you from the deceit
And back into perfect accordance with the laws of nature)
The snake is notoriously tempting
But the snake is fair
What is worse than not knowing?
To live or disappear?
The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last
Hear my offering
Ye bastard sons and daughters
Share my sacrifice
Share my sacrifice
That stupid stupido fucking asshole!...
AYE DIOS MIO I hate him.. hate him so much..
and my leg is asleep.. it stings! DAMN THIS..
Holy shit dude..ok soo
Last night I stayed up listening to Deb's and my grammys conversation till like 1:30-2 in the morning..
i finally go to bed and fall like instantly to sleep.. out cold
around 7am rose(the lil 5 yr old girl) comes in and sits next to me
just starring....
and i could feel it..
you know, like that consious sleep
where you know whats going on but your to tired to fully wake?
so i just lasy there..
then she tries to bless me
Fucking bless me
she drew on then kissed my forehead
i sat up like that
and shes just all "good morning"
talk about a creepy alarm clock..
dislocated shoulder... it hurts.. like hell.. had to take care of grammy whos goiong through chemo.. stupid chemo.. my internet is out at home (at kilis).. and World Visions is gonna send me a free puter.. yay..
And this is how easily pleased I am. Our washer broke.. fucking A.. Dosent that just suck? Great thing I have enough clothes to last me like a month >.> but still! I do my laundry ALL the time.. Its a great thing to have clean smelly goodness soft clothes on dont you think??
But now! my padre ish giving me money so I can go wash my clothes at the laundry mat.. mmmm big shiny washers and dryers. Its like all warm in that place. and smells good.. and shiny. mm shiny.. Im happy X) YAY happiness! (means im leaving in like an hour and a half for a few hours to wash clothes)
Yesterday I got to make fun of luisa. Luis, hes my stupid cousin thing whos a dick and I make fun of his girlyness by calling him luisa.
my mom gave me half a piece of candy i are still happy YAY
my puppy didnt run off with my mommys slippers this morning DOUBLE YAY
recap
1)clean clothes!
2)luisa fun making
3)half a piece of candy
4)no puppy slipper running
WOOP!
OMG! Ana got to keep Turtle, finally i got her fucken call..
grandma has to go through kimo again....
ALLLLLrighty people, stop asking whats bugging me ill just say it
Ana, my cousin, woke up in a pool of blood and her baby had to be delievered 5 months early so it could be killed..
im soo tired, and sore and bruised i just wanna sleep, but NOOOOOO got school work *rollseyes*
got tons of family over this weekend so my parents are being assholes
AND in three months it shall be the anniversary of a friends death...
i apologize for any blowing upnessnessness
ehhh.... sick.... *falls over half asleep* shoulder sore... throat hurts... ehhh...
Im addicted to Pool now.. i mean its just like awesome.. my lil puppy is sleeping right now, and Ana's getting me my silver seven days XD, shes 4 months along now and gonna move back down here soon which is great *nods* yep yep yep...
gah my head hurts so much... im all teary it hurts so much
this morning my grammy went into the hospital for a random surgery...
*whines* im sick.. and i want jello..
WEE i fixed the cell!
okies peace... im off to the store...
I called shake just now.. And we are still on the phone.. But .. This afternoon.. Shakes dog.. pumpkin got.. Squished right in front of her.. Her dad ran pumpkinkins over.. It so gross.. I wanna gag.. it..was squished in half.. but still alive..
There are certain types of people in this world that just piss me off to no end. The type of people that come up to you and ask you for advice and then when you give them the advice they don’t take the advice they just come back to you a week later and their like “I cant believe how everything turned out so wrong” You wanna know why everything turned out wrong? Cause you didn’t take my advice and your fucking stupid. That’s what went wrong you didn’t listen to me.. I know all.
The other type of person are those fucking insignificant peons, who just have to validate themselves by being in a relationship. You know what its pathetic its weak minded and you show no inner strength what so ever. Get over to girl friend, get over to boy friend or whatever the fuck your yearning for and life a fucking life.
People who stock their ex girlfriends particularly piss me off. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Don’t you have something better things to do with your life then to be emotionally attached to someone who hates your guts ? Do something with your life, find a hobby. You know? Gees. You know how many video games are out there that you could be playing?? At the very least shoot yourself. Get yourself out of society no body wants to deal with a stocker.
Other types of people that I hate, People who ruin your favorite diner. You know the type or person that you know your usually friends with until they end up going to the diner and dating some waitress there and then having some kind of weird rocky relationship and every time you go into the diner here after there’s that weird vibe in the air? People like this really need food poisoning. I’m so sick of these fucking bustards ruining my favorite spots.
Other type of person I particularly really hate are those fucking slim balls with the slicked back hair that usually end up going to bars and shit like that on Friday Saturday Sunday night to see if they can pick up chicks and all they do is walk around with these fucking stupid velvety shirts with their dumb ass fat hairy chest exposed to the world as if they were the sexiest thing on the face of the earth.. You know what? You’re a middle aged loser and no body wants to see your hairy chest. Either throw yourself in front of traffic or overdose… please…
Nobody wants to hear this bullshit any more. Time for some reevaluation of ones life and those fucking people.
I also dislike people where all they do is talk about their problems with they insignificant other .. Its like “Ahh you know I was talking to my blah blah blah and she said deh deh deh and he said deh deh” You know what? I don’t care about your fucking relationship problems. You can just shove them up your ass for all I care. Nobody wants to hear about how your girlfriend doesn’t like you or how your boyfriend is ignoring you. Nobody cares. It only pertains to your own little world which in the grand scheme of things is minuet and pathetic and nobody really ever wants to hear it. Shut your mouth choke on your food and DIE.
You know you ever have a good friend and then you go out someplace they always gotta bring their fucking girlfriend and the girlfriend turns out to be somebody you just wanna kill? I mean really kill, like jump up and down and kill and then fucking chop up their body into fifteen different parts and flush various parts down the toilet burry the others and the other ones get thrown into the sewer you know that kind of crap? You know that type of person that their parents should have had an abortion before they even walked the earth? These type of fucking pieces of crap you really just needa be killed with some piano wire around the throat I cant take it anymore.
I also cant stand people who sit at home and listen to the “every rose has its thorn” like it’s the worlds most depressing song one the song sucks two your fucking pathetic for listening to it. Take the cd out crack it in half and then slit your wrists with the broken pieces. Its over. These are the same people that are living in the past when you know the time period when they was cool. They’re done, your done, kill yourself.
And in closing you know its just shit like this that pisses me off its these types of people that have no inner souls no nothing they just revolve around their own pathetic little world with no consideration for what’s going on around them. They have no sense or grasp of reality and really need to be taken of the face of this earth they have no substance they have no control over themselves and they really need to be put to sleep.. Permanently.. So in closing if your one of these people shoot yourself in the head and spar us all your pathetic life. Go die. Thank you for listening. No see ya in the future. Heh heh..
FOAMY RANT!!!!!!!
this tottaly makes sense to me... sad huh? ... (im part black dont give me shit)
Well, it appears our African American friends have found something else to
be pissed about. A black congresswoman reputedly complained that the names
of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names
that reflect African-Americ
Jamal and Shaqueal. She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast
in language that street people can understand. I can hear it now:
A Weatherman in Houston says, ... Wordup, Muthas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be
headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category fo !
So, turn Off dem chitlins, grab yo' chirren, leave yo crib, and head fo' de
nearest government office fo yo FREE shit.
I Wanna Be A Bear
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate,
you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.
If you're a bear, you birth your children
(who are the size of walnuts)while you're sleeping
and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.
I could definitely deal with that!
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.
I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup..... I wanna be a bear.
Show the Love for Bears!!