DIARY!
I have nothing, absolutly nothing to say.....
*yawns*
I'm kind of tired actually, in a "I'm wide awake yawny yawn yawn" kind of way
and I'm pissed! my ipod got wipped! not.. a single song.. >.< oh well my playlist is at kili's I'll add it all on tomorrow..
I wanna go swimming.... and I want some more jello, sadly my gluttonous habits caused me to eat it yesterday *tear*
I just killed a spider.. with my shoe.. OOOOOOOoooooOO
In a rap mood? WTF?!
I know I smoke so good
You love blow, and I love puff..
So I fuck my self in the head with stupid men.
6ft 2 or taller
I cant be to upset when they call me skank
when I get pressed
he COULD be my whole life if I get past a night
that part never goes right
Everyone knows my name
end up with one night stands
did to much E
everyweek it will get worse
did the world for free
Fuck yes!! <3<3<3<3<3<3
Black&iceblue&
crystal&velvet nacklace
white chain corset
thigh high lace up stockings
fingerless black gloves
WOo song thats stuck in my head..
He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy
You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black
We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to.....
I go back to us
I love you much
It's not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to
We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black
Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
I go back to
I go back to
We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to
We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black
He said, "Who truly belongs here?"
Not I she said, I'll lie here with you
He knows no one shines forever
They change with the weather
He said, "I've now stayed too long here"
Goodbye she said, I'll wait here for you
He knows the winds carry sorrow
as the leaves should follow
They leave tomorrow
Fragments of joy torn apart
a freshly drained heart that beats
Disguise themselves through him
He'll say that it's nothing new
and swear this is true,
for you, I'll swallow the ocean
I'll swallow the ocean
He said, "Who truly belongs here?"
Not I she said, I'll lie here to you
I know the sorrow is sacred
and I'll never break you
I'll softly save you
Fragments of joy torn apart
a freshly drained heart that beats
Disguise themselves through him
He'll say that it's nothing new
and swear this is true,
for you, I'll swallow the ocean
I'll swallow the ocean
its time for the ashley is talking to herself part of the day
Dear, diary...
oh man that sounds gay...
Well I talked to jerkola... you know.. ya I know you know who I'm talking about diary.. anyways he says hes gonna take me! *laughs* ya.. ya ya ya it was funny to hear.. also somewhat scary in a sense.. so anyways Ive had eventful days diary.. and more ahead.. grammy is doing well in chemo.. She hasnt even lost all of her hair
Oh and yesterday I had another nosebleedy passeyout episode.. my ribs hurt from it..I hardly got any blood on the rug. Oh and the hives are gone, I still want to go to the hospital though, My headaches are getting worse, Its all ringy and it makes me passout when I walk to warren to get my sister (which I have to do in 30 mins). Phoenix keeps saying I have a tumor and Im gonna die next month. Oh well huh. *nodnod* Dani stopped cutting, and other mom found out about everything. My real father is still working.. so I get child support still. My parents are freaking me out. I think I should move to, I dont know.. somewhere far away, somewhere exciting.. with no people..
Mom is relying on me more, I think thats good. I stopped drawing and tattooing. Yeah.. well untill next time diary..
to much pretazone! wooo....... *holds stomach* it actually kind of hurts though.. and I have a fever... and I'm shakey, lightheaded and achey... I cant see well... my throat feels funny, It hurts to breath.....mom
Fucken A.. it burns.. it burns soooo much..
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
Evoked and entertained through centuries
Wrathful and sullen -- Dormant still
The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last
Hear my offering
Ye bastard sons and daughters
Share my sacrifice
Share my sacrifice.
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
Reconcile not with the fear of the snake
But embrace it as your own
Inject its venom into your veins
And replant the seed that gives growth
Still shrouded in mystery
Until you arise above perception
A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout generations
(A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout multiple generations
Let me be the one that deliver you from the deceit
And back into perfect accordance with the laws of nature)
The snake is notoriously tempting
But the snake is fair
What is worse than not knowing?
To live or disappear?
The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last
Hear my offering
Ye bastard sons and daughters
Share my sacrifice
Share my sacrifice
That stupid stupido fucking asshole!...
AYE DIOS MIO I hate him.. hate him so much..
and my leg is asleep.. it stings! DAMN THIS..
Holy shit dude..ok soo
Last night I stayed up listening to Deb's and my grammys conversation till like 1:30-2 in the morning..
i finally go to bed and fall like instantly to sleep.. out cold
around 7am rose(the lil 5 yr old girl) comes in and sits next to me
just starring....
and i could feel it..
you know, like that consious sleep
where you know whats going on but your to tired to fully wake?
so i just lasy there..
then she tries to bless me
Fucking bless me
she drew on then kissed my forehead
i sat up like that
and shes just all "good morning"
talk about a creepy alarm clock..
dislocated shoulder... it hurts.. like hell.. had to take care of grammy whos goiong through chemo.. stupid chemo.. my internet is out at home (at kilis).. and World Visions is gonna send me a free puter.. yay..
And this is how easily pleased I am. Our washer broke.. fucking A.. Dosent that just suck? Great thing I have enough clothes to last me like a month >.> but still! I do my laundry ALL the time.. Its a great thing to have clean smelly goodness soft clothes on dont you think??
But now! my padre ish giving me money so I can go wash my clothes at the laundry mat.. mmmm big shiny washers and dryers. Its like all warm in that place. and smells good.. and shiny. mm shiny.. Im happy X) YAY happiness! (means im leaving in like an hour and a half for a few hours to wash clothes)
Yesterday I got to make fun of luisa. Luis, hes my stupid cousin thing whos a dick and I make fun of his girlyness by calling him luisa.
my mom gave me half a piece of candy i are still happy YAY
my puppy didnt run off with my mommys slippers this morning DOUBLE YAY
recap
1)clean clothes!
2)luisa fun making
3)half a piece of candy
4)no puppy slipper running
WOOP!
OMG! Ana got to keep Turtle, finally i got her fucken call..
grandma has to go through kimo again....
ALLLLLrighty people, stop asking whats bugging me ill just say it
Ana, my cousin, woke up in a pool of blood and her baby had to be delievered 5 months early so it could be killed..
im soo tired, and sore and bruised i just wanna sleep, but NOOOOOO got school work *rollseyes*
got tons of family over this weekend so my parents are being assholes
AND in three months it shall be the anniversary of a friends death...
i apologize for any blowing upnessnessness
ehhh.... sick.... *falls over half asleep* shoulder sore... throat hurts... ehhh...
Im addicted to Pool now.. i mean its just like awesome.. my lil puppy is sleeping right now, and Ana's getting me my silver seven days XD, shes 4 months along now and gonna move back down here soon which is great *nods* yep yep yep...
gah my head hurts so much... im all teary it hurts so much
this morning my grammy went into the hospital for a random surgery...
*whines* im sick.. and i want jello..
WEE i fixed the cell!
okies peace... im off to the store...