People go and come and go again. Life is lost then gained. Emotions run wild and I am left in this mess. Fuck I love it. It's like a blurry rainbow Hellhole. But everything is on the right track. Forget me not for I shall make sense of it eventually! Dearest, I couldn't say goodbye I dont know why. Anticipate and Evaluate, Its what I shall do.

but all is better XD a little kitty (even though I dont em... but its cute) is playing with my toes and jumping on my legs... its to cute.. *pets fuzzy kitten* and my hair looks great today :P

so.....things go like this....

Dani and eric are fighting... im really tired of it, she complains so much and he is just a jerk and makes her feel bad but they are still together?? omg... people these days..

Deb and Kev had a HUGE fight and dani called me over cause she was scared...

im so shakey from my meds its hard to type

wednesday I should have my internet back so untill then Ciao

Im so shakey it isnt even funny...

LIBRARY MOMENT!..........


its soooooooo quiet... O.o..... you think people would atleast talk... a little... but NOO... I have to sing to myself so I dont go crazy... but yeah! BYE peoples.....

Internet out at home... at kilis right now..soooo yeah when I leave here tonight, I wont be on for a week or two... *shrugs* whatevers..

Watch this dammit!

okies.... please? O.O

Doot....doot *dance*


She messeged me! *happy*

I stolededed this from [silent_voice] *nodnod*

Are you more man, or woman?

1.[X] You love hoodies
2.[X] Dogs are better than cats
3.[X] It's hilarious when people get hurt
4.[X] You've played with/against boys on a team
5.[ ] Shopping is torture
6.[ ] Sad movies suck
7.[ ] You own an xbox 360
8.[X] You wanted/played with Hotwheel cars as a kid
9.[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
10.[X] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega
11.[X] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
12.[X] You watch sports on TV
13.[X] Gory movies are cool
14.[ ] You only go to your dad for advice
15.[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps
16.[ ] You like going to football games
17.[ ] You used to/do collect football cards
18.[X] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people [Whats the point?..exactly]
19.[X] Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors
20.[X] You love to go crazy and not care what people think
21.[X] Sports are fun too
22.[X] Have talked with food in your mouth
23.[X] Wear Boxers to bed ||[or nothing at all . . .]|| >.> ya.. I sleep nude..
24.[ ] Or your socks on at night

total: 15
Multiply the total by 7
Score: 105% ((what?!... is that possible?))


GIRL PART

1.[X] You wear lip gloss
2.[X] You wear eyeliner
3.[ ] You have some of the same shirts in different colors
4.[X] You wear the color pink/ have worn the color pink
5.[X] Go to a female for advice (and a guy to.. but not only my dad soo whatever I choose this one)
6.[ ] You KNOW cheerleadings a sport and you argue about it(GAG)
7.[ ] You hate wearing the color black
8.[X] You like shopping
9.[X] You like wearing jewelry
10.[X] Skirts are a part of your wardrobe
11.[X] You don't like the movie Star Wars *cough*.. I uhh.. fall asleep everysingle time >.>
12.[ ] It takes you around 1 hour (or more) to shower get dressed and put on make-up and accessories (30mins)
13.[ ] You smile alot more than you should ( *blinks* )
14.[ ]You have more than 10 pairs of shoes/sneakers nope X] I have 5 pairs of sneakers and one pair of sandals.
15.[ ] You care about what you look like
16.[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can
17.[ ] You love, LOVE movies
18.[ ] Used to play with dolls as a little kid
19.[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it
20.[ ] Like taking pictures when you're bored

total= 8
multiply by 7
score: 56% Ima dude!!!!!! fuck yes man..

DIARY!


I have nothing, absolutly nothing to say.....


*yawns*

I'm kind of tired actually, in a "I'm wide awake yawny yawn yawn" kind of way

and I'm pissed! my ipod got wipped! not.. a single song.. >.< oh well my playlist is at kili's I'll add it all on tomorrow..

I wanna go swimming.... and I want some more jello, sadly my gluttonous habits caused me to eat it yesterday *tear*

I just killed a spider.. with my shoe.. OOOOOOOoooooOOOOOO...

In a rap mood? WTF?!
I know I smoke so good



You love blow, and I love puff..
So I fuck my self in the head with stupid men.
6ft 2 or taller
I cant be to upset when they call me skank
when I get pressed
he COULD be my whole life if I get past a night
that part never goes right
Everyone knows my name
end up with one night stands
did to much E
everyweek it will get worse
did the world for free

Fuck yes!! <3<3<3<3<3<3

Black&iceblue&white

crystal&velvet nacklace

white chain corset

thigh high lace up stockings

fingerless black gloves

WOo song thats stuck in my head..

He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy
You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to.....

I go back to us

I love you much
It's not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black

Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
I go back to
I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black

He said, "Who truly belongs here?"
Not I she said, I'll lie here with you
He knows no one shines forever
They change with the weather

He said, "I've now stayed too long here"
Goodbye she said, I'll wait here for you
He knows the winds carry sorrow
as the leaves should follow
They leave tomorrow

Fragments of joy torn apart
a freshly drained heart that beats
Disguise themselves through him
He'll say that it's nothing new
and swear this is true,
for you, I'll swallow the ocean
I'll swallow the ocean

He said, "Who truly belongs here?"
Not I she said, I'll lie here to you
I know the sorrow is sacred
and I'll never break you
I'll softly save you

Fragments of joy torn apart
a freshly drained heart that beats
Disguise themselves through him
He'll say that it's nothing new
and swear this is true,
for you, I'll swallow the ocean
I'll swallow the ocean

its time for the ashley is talking to herself part of the day

Dear, diary...

oh man that sounds gay...
Well I talked to jerkola... you know.. ya I know you know who I'm talking about diary.. anyways he says hes gonna take me! *laughs* ya.. ya ya ya it was funny to hear.. also somewhat scary in a sense.. so anyways Ive had eventful days diary.. and more ahead.. grammy is doing well in chemo.. She hasnt even lost all of her hair
Oh and yesterday I had another nosebleedy passeyout episode.. my ribs hurt from it..I hardly got any blood on the rug. Oh and the hives are gone, I still want to go to the hospital though, My headaches are getting worse, Its all ringy and it makes me passout when I walk to warren to get my sister (which I have to do in 30 mins). Phoenix keeps saying I have a tumor and Im gonna die next month. Oh well huh. *nodnod* Dani stopped cutting, and other mom found out about everything. My real father is still working.. so I get child support still. My parents are freaking me out. I think I should move to, I dont know.. somewhere far away, somewhere exciting.. with no people..
Mom is relying on me more, I think thats good. I stopped drawing and tattooing. Yeah.. well untill next time diary.. 

to much pretazone! wooo....... *holds stomach* it actually kind of hurts though.. and I have a fever... and I'm shakey, lightheaded and achey... I cant see well... my throat feels funny, It hurts to breath.....moms thinking about taking me to the hospital...

Fucken A.. it burns.. it burns soooo much..

My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair

Evoked and entertained through centuries
Wrathful and sullen -- Dormant still

The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last
Hear my offering
Ye bastard sons and daughters
Share my sacrifice
Share my sacrifice.

My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair
My descent is the story of everyman
I am hatred, darkness and despair

Reconcile not with the fear of the snake
But embrace it as your own
Inject its venom into your veins
And replant the seed that gives growth
Still shrouded in mystery
Until you arise above perception
A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout generations

(A veil of ignorance is in motion
Continuing throughout multiple generations
Let me be the one that deliver you from the deceit
And back into perfect accordance with the laws of nature)

The snake is notoriously tempting
But the snake is fair
What is worse than not knowing?
To live or disappear?

The ferocity pervades everywhere
Waiting to be released at last
Hear my offering
Ye bastard sons and daughters
Share my sacrifice
Share my sacrifice

That stupid stupido fucking asshole!...

AYE DIOS MIO I hate him.. hate him so much..

and my leg is asleep.. it stings! DAMN THIS..

Holy shit dude..ok soo
Last night I stayed up listening to Deb's and my grammys conversation till like 1:30-2 in the morning..
i finally go to bed and fall like instantly to sleep.. out cold
around 7am rose(the lil 5 yr old girl) comes in and sits next to me
just starring....
and i could feel it..
you know, like that consious sleep
where you know whats going on but your to tired to fully wake?
so i just lasy there..
then she tries to bless me
Fucking bless me
she drew on then kissed my forehead
i sat up like that
and shes just all "good morning"

talk about a creepy alarm clock..

dislocated shoulder... it hurts.. like hell.. had to take care of grammy whos goiong through chemo.. stupid chemo.. my internet is out at home (at kilis).. and World Visions is gonna send me a free puter.. yay..