Damn nosebleeds! nothing screams great night like waking up choking on blood.. >< fucking A

The barfing of blood is no longer fun! >.<

*dance dance* WOOO

*has wings*

You know thats cool. :O

*tummy grumbles* fooood........

*skips off*

They love each-other.. spoil each-other, they hug and kiss and go gushy hoping other people are just like them.. but Wait! He.. fantasies over other women..? It used to be just one woman.. but now its many? Clearly the euphoria is at an overdose. At least the predominating emotion isn't depression or fatalistic. Perhaps going from a life of stress to a life on idle back to the stress has caused his mind to compensate love of other woman into the picture due to his lack of intercourse from his one during injuries. In this emotionally charged situation it was not experimentally premeditated to discuss the unpleasant experience of his minds desire, therefore causing a ripple in the happiness due to his wanted promiscuous activity and her need to find out his hearts place. In the deliberation, her persistent and consistent mood state was that of apprehensive anxiety and fear. This fear specifically directed to loneliness.. In this psychosexual moment what route is to be taken? 

why cleaning is good...

1) You dont have to think about stupid shit between people you care about
2) you find things like your old bow and some extra arrows, a piercing gun which your mom bought as a gift a month ago, and a corset
3) The place is clean!
4) No bitching from people for it not being clean
5) you get rid of shit so later on you can bring in more shit for your once clean space
6) if you REALLY REALLY try... it will stay clean

*off to clean more for appraisal for home loan*

People go and come and go again. Life is lost then gained. Emotions run wild and I am left in this mess. Fuck I love it. It's like a blurry rainbow Hellhole. But everything is on the right track. Forget me not for I shall make sense of it eventually! Dearest, I couldn't say goodbye I dont know why. Anticipate and Evaluate, Its what I shall do.

but all is better XD a little kitty (even though I dont em... but its cute) is playing with my toes and jumping on my legs... its to cute.. *pets fuzzy kitten* and my hair looks great today :P

so.....things go like this....

Dani and eric are fighting... im really tired of it, she complains so much and he is just a jerk and makes her feel bad but they are still together?? omg... people these days..

Deb and Kev had a HUGE fight and dani called me over cause she was scared...

im so shakey from my meds its hard to type

wednesday I should have my internet back so untill then Ciao

Im so shakey it isnt even funny...

LIBRARY MOMENT!..........


its soooooooo quiet... O.o..... you think people would atleast talk... a little... but NOO... I have to sing to myself so I dont go crazy... but yeah! BYE peoples.....

Internet out at home... at kilis right now..soooo yeah when I leave here tonight, I wont be on for a week or two... *shrugs* whatevers..

Watch this dammit!

okies.... please? O.O

Doot....doot *dance*


She messeged me! *happy*

I stolededed this from [silent_voice] *nodnod*

Are you more man, or woman?

1.[X] You love hoodies
2.[X] Dogs are better than cats
3.[X] It's hilarious when people get hurt
4.[X] You've played with/against boys on a team
5.[ ] Shopping is torture
6.[ ] Sad movies suck
7.[ ] You own an xbox 360
8.[X] You wanted/played with Hotwheel cars as a kid
9.[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
10.[X] You own a DS, PS2 or Sega
11.[X] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers
12.[X] You watch sports on TV
13.[X] Gory movies are cool
14.[ ] You only go to your dad for advice
15.[ ] You own like a trillion baseball caps
16.[ ] You like going to football games
17.[ ] You used to/do collect football cards
18.[X] It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people [Whats the point?..exactly]
19.[X] Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors
20.[X] You love to go crazy and not care what people think
21.[X] Sports are fun too
22.[X] Have talked with food in your mouth
23.[X] Wear Boxers to bed ||[or nothing at all . . .]|| >.> ya.. I sleep nude..
24.[ ] Or your socks on at night

total: 15
Multiply the total by 7
Score: 105% ((what?!... is that possible?))


GIRL PART

1.[X] You wear lip gloss
2.[X] You wear eyeliner
3.[ ] You have some of the same shirts in different colors
4.[X] You wear the color pink/ have worn the color pink
5.[X] Go to a female for advice (and a guy to.. but not only my dad soo whatever I choose this one)
6.[ ] You KNOW cheerleadings a sport and you argue about it(GAG)
7.[ ] You hate wearing the color black
8.[X] You like shopping
9.[X] You like wearing jewelry
10.[X] Skirts are a part of your wardrobe
11.[X] You don't like the movie Star Wars *cough*.. I uhh.. fall asleep everysingle time >.>
12.[ ] It takes you around 1 hour (or more) to shower get dressed and put on make-up and accessories (30mins)
13.[ ] You smile alot more than you should ( *blinks* )
14.[ ]You have more than 10 pairs of shoes/sneakers nope X] I have 5 pairs of sneakers and one pair of sandals.
15.[ ] You care about what you look like
16.[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can
17.[ ] You love, LOVE movies
18.[ ] Used to play with dolls as a little kid
19.[ ] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it
20.[ ] Like taking pictures when you're bored

total= 8
multiply by 7
score: 56% Ima dude!!!!!! fuck yes man..

DIARY!


I have nothing, absolutly nothing to say.....


*yawns*

I'm kind of tired actually, in a "I'm wide awake yawny yawn yawn" kind of way

and I'm pissed! my ipod got wipped! not.. a single song.. >.< oh well my playlist is at kili's I'll add it all on tomorrow..

I wanna go swimming.... and I want some more jello, sadly my gluttonous habits caused me to eat it yesterday *tear*

I just killed a spider.. with my shoe.. OOOOOOOoooooOOOOOO...

In a rap mood? WTF?!
I know I smoke so good



You love blow, and I love puff..
So I fuck my self in the head with stupid men.
6ft 2 or taller
I cant be to upset when they call me skank
when I get pressed
he COULD be my whole life if I get past a night
that part never goes right
Everyone knows my name
end up with one night stands
did to much E
everyweek it will get worse
did the world for free

Fuck yes!! <3<3<3<3<3<3

Black&iceblue&white

crystal&velvet nacklace

white chain corset

thigh high lace up stockings

fingerless black gloves

WOo song thats stuck in my head..

He left no time to regret
Kept his dick wet
With his same old safe bet
Me and my head high
And my tears dry
Get on without my guy
You went back to what you knew
So far removed from all that we went through
And I tread a troubled track
My odds are stacked
I'll go back to black

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to.....

I go back to us

I love you much
It's not enough
You love blow and I love puff
And life is like a pipe
And I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside
We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black

Black, black, black, black, black, black, black,
I go back to
I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to black

He said, "Who truly belongs here?"
Not I she said, I'll lie here with you
He knows no one shines forever
They change with the weather

He said, "I've now stayed too long here"
Goodbye she said, I'll wait here for you
He knows the winds carry sorrow
as the leaves should follow
They leave tomorrow

Fragments of joy torn apart
a freshly drained heart that beats
Disguise themselves through him
He'll say that it's nothing new
and swear this is true,
for you, I'll swallow the ocean
I'll swallow the ocean

He said, "Who truly belongs here?"
Not I she said, I'll lie here to you
I know the sorrow is sacred
and I'll never break you
I'll softly save you

Fragments of joy torn apart
a freshly drained heart that beats
Disguise themselves through him
He'll say that it's nothing new
and swear this is true,
for you, I'll swallow the ocean
I'll swallow the ocean

its time for the ashley is talking to herself part of the day

Dear, diary...

oh man that sounds gay...
Well I talked to jerkola... you know.. ya I know you know who I'm talking about diary.. anyways he says hes gonna take me! *laughs* ya.. ya ya ya it was funny to hear.. also somewhat scary in a sense.. so anyways Ive had eventful days diary.. and more ahead.. grammy is doing well in chemo.. She hasnt even lost all of her hair
Oh and yesterday I had another nosebleedy passeyout episode.. my ribs hurt from it..I hardly got any blood on the rug. Oh and the hives are gone, I still want to go to the hospital though, My headaches are getting worse, Its all ringy and it makes me passout when I walk to warren to get my sister (which I have to do in 30 mins). Phoenix keeps saying I have a tumor and Im gonna die next month. Oh well huh. *nodnod* Dani stopped cutting, and other mom found out about everything. My real father is still working.. so I get child support still. My parents are freaking me out. I think I should move to, I dont know.. somewhere far away, somewhere exciting.. with no people..
Mom is relying on me more, I think thats good. I stopped drawing and tattooing. Yeah.. well untill next time diary..