The Greenbean Episode!! *scary music and lightning flashes*
Ok well the story behind this is my mum decided to serve up greenbeans with dinner.. which are the vegitable i despise most in the whole entire world. So as you do i ate everything else and left them but i wasn't alloud to leave the table until i had eaten at least five.. so now i had to think up inventive ways to hide them!
1) I flicked them onto my brothers plate.. only my mum saw and told me off so i had to take the beans back =(
2) I hid them under my plate when mum wasn't looking.. she didn't noticed the fact my plate was floating and said i could go.. only when i lifted up my plate the greenbeans fell off the bottom and i was made to stay =(
3) I sat on my chair with my foot resting on my knee, picked up a couple of greenbeans and put them in my sock that went well until my mum asked to see me actually eat three. =(
4) What could i do?? i put them in my mouth refusing to swallow decpite my brother's attempts.. ( he stopped me from being able to breath ahd then started to pinch me!) so in the end my mum let me go but said she'd ground me if i spat them out (wtf??) so i offered to feed the rabbit and guinea pig and buried them in the garden which TECHNICALLY wasn't spitting them out.. i put the ones from my sock in there too!! ^^ hehe I WON!!
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?''
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
The Teacher fainted.
I'm not against christianity or any religion but i found this quite amusing.. ok rephrase that i found this hysterical.. call me childish (i am ya know ^^) but meh..
on another slightly random note i have discovered that i have become so used to typing quickly and without much thinking that when i do start to think about what i'm typing when i look up to check what i've written i find that i wasted 10 minutes gazing at the keyboard without typing anything.. useful that.. anyone else had that problem or is it just me and my stupid brain??
ATTITUDE
LET IT REALLY SINK IN...........
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood
and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him
how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be
twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad
day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive
side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and
asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the
time. How do you do it?"
He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two
choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can
choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood." Each time
something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to
learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to
me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can
point out the positive side of life. I choose
the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away
all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to
situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be
in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you
live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry
to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him
when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several
years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious acc ident, falling
some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released
from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six
months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If
I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through
his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my
soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I
remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could
choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?
He continued, "..the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was
going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the
expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.
In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take
action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said
John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The
doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took
a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'." Over their laughter, I told them,
"I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his
amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the
choice to live life to it's fullest.
Attitude, after all, is everything. Therefore do not worry about
tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough
trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34. After all today is the tomorrow you
worried about yesterday.
You have two choices now:
01. NEVER PASTE THIS.
02. PASTE IT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE WHAT YOU REALY CARE ABOUT!
Again it's another think from Ai Kajuju's diary.. the book that has everything (or most things) you ever want/need/coul
Repost this in your house or diary:
[Don't EVER leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love... tonight your true love will realize how much they love you between 1 & 4 in the morning. tomorrow the shock of your life will occur. if you break the chain then you will have bad luck...]
RANT TO COME SOON!! (This is chain mail, tut tut, it may be inventively posted BUT it is still chainmail. i wouldn't believe in the bad luck thing i've only posted it so i can rant randomly about the stupidity..)
A religion teacher assigned her class an essay on what makes a good Christian. One student wrote about praying nightly, say no to abortion, banning gay marriage, and donating money. The other student wrote about talking to God and allowing people to enjoy their lives, and supporting gay marriage.
The day the teacher was to hand the papers back, she called up the second student and told him she would pray for him when he went to hell. The student asked why would he be going to hell, and why he got an F on his paper. The teacher told him that Catholisim is against gay marriage. The student looked at her for a minute, then said aloud, "I'm gay." The teacher kicked him out of class as if he had said fuck or worshipped Satan.
A girl in the back of class who had a boyfriend and was obviously straight got up and left too.
* If you would leave the classroom, repost this. It doesn't matter if you're straight, bi, or gay. It doesn't matter if you're Catholic or not. Everyone is a human being and deserves happiness. *
[Everyone Deserves HAPPINESS!]
1) The teacher asked what made a good cristian not a good Catholic therefore the boy should have been graded based on his interpritation of christianity as a whole and not a certain sect.
2) Everyone is going to hell anyway. I am not being pessimistic but there are thousands of religions in the world most of which say you will go to hell (or a similar hellish place) if you do not believe this religion.. as it is not possible to believe every religion then we must all be going to hell. If thats the case then i want to get the most out of my life while i can and in doing so i hope to find happiness. Therefore walking from the class would make me happy, no class and being able to make a stand for other people's happiness which, i feel contributes to my own hapiness.
92% percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you are one of the 8% who would be laughing your ass off.
I'd proberly die from laughing.. so does that make me one of the 92% or not?? There was a comidian who got banned because several people died while watching his show from laughing guess what he did?? He farted songs!! Is that a compliment or an insult (being banned because you made people laugh too much) do ya think?? Anyways i think that while dying from laughing would be an amazing death it would hurt alot, i should know.. i've laughed so much i almost suffocated.. which made me laugh even more.. i had to lock myself in a dark room to calm myself down! This was ment to be going somewhere i think but i've forgotten now.. ohh one last thing:
Suicide is illegal because it is a sin.. does that mean if your not christian that it isn't illegal and if you did commit suicide what could they do??
Policeman: oy you.. dead body was this a suicide??
*finds note*
Ahh so it WAS a suicide.. i'm afraid i'm going to have to take you down town for this.. anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you are intitled to a lawyer and one phone call..
*at court*
The jury finds this corpse guilty! you shall now have to spend 5 years in a young offenders institute...
Maybe thats an idea.. if they sent all suicide bodies to a young offenders institute it would stop young people commiting crimes.. who would want to be locked up with a load of bodies??
NOTE: suicide is a serious matter and something that effects many people in modern society, it is something i feel schools don't do enough to teach about and the government doesn't take seriously enough. What i am getting at is the stupidity of the law.
Today me and my brother had an "imaginary fight"
He came up to me drew something random in the air then lept at me shouting imaginary dagger die!! So i drew an imaginary mace and he cornered me.. then he got a claw on his foot so i got a fork... in the end he locked me in the utility after throwing in an imaginary neuclear warhead and i threw a ziggy H bomb at him.. i lost.. BECAUSE>> dun dun dun..
I had a boum proof shield instead of a bomb proof shield!! dammit!!
So do you wanna come stay round my house?? ^_^
OK this is proberly pretty random but i was watching Kerrang last night and Greenday - Jesus of surburbia video came on and according to what is blanked out and what isn't:
You can drink,
You can steal,
You can throw food around the supermarket,
You can have sex BUT
You can't smoke,
You can't bleed
and no one can have sharp objects.
Ok i can get that before the watershed parents don't want their kids seeing certain things that could ruin their young minds. Still you can see people smoking on the streets so why not on TV, you have proberly bled at least once in your life and anyone who has been in a kitchen/scienc
They're blanking out things everyone knows about and isn't illegal and letting them insinuate that doing illeagal stuff is alright.