Work was fun.. i was feeling so dead though.. after getting off here i went to read for a bit.. damn exciting part in my book has to appear the night before work.. and when i get into a book i can read for hours.. so it was about 4am when i finally put the book down and decided to go to sleep but by then i wasn't tired (sleep patterns -_-) so i ended up daydreaming and thinking about stuff.. and GAH! So yeah i had about 3 hours sleep. Then i got up and my mum wasn't up.. my dad was out and i was like well i can't drive myself to work can i? nope.. so i clattered about in the kitchen loudly and she appeared.
Went to work.. mother and Beki were bullying me.. about the fact i now don't have a boyfriend apparently they both consider me to be a bit of a whore.. like WTF??? I am not.. what gave them that impression? infact why does everyone expect me to be flitting from guy to guy.. it's kinda depressing. Anyways i got confused becuase my mum was talking about cars and then she switched to talking about this guy ben i used to hang out with that my mum thought i should date (-_- parents) but i swear she said something about a 6 wheeled ben and i found it really funny.. Zomg and my mum had a temper tantrum coz she was tired i was nagging her about something and she just went: "I'm tired leave me alone!!" Then started to wail and attack the steering wheel.. my family is crazy CRAZY!!!
Work was good we only did a half day becuase everyone was out so cheh.. Isabella got a new kitten it's quite sweet but it needs a bath *nods* We sat in the kitchen for ages and then Isabella and Beki were bullying me.. what is it with everyone? They just pick on me ALL the time.. just coz i'm short..
SO yeah came home.. read a bit.. slept had dinner.. finished book and now i'm on here and DA and i'm determined to finish Tsome's portrait it's going pretty well i just need to finish the hair and after that it shouldn't take long at all.. i also offered to colour someone's dragon picture becuase i want practice at digital colouring and i have A first 10 comments get pictures thing in my DA diary.. so plenty of stuff to keep me busy. I'm going to finish my forum on the realms tonight too as i said i'd have it done by the weekend.. and the weekend is almost over.. i think i shall need lots of coffee!
So yeah thats todays ramble.. manga.. i forgot to read it yesterday !
love ya! ^_^ (that seems to have become my typical diary ending) xxx
Ahh yeah and Beki was trying to set me up with Mike.. between her and my mum i'll have to speed date all these guys they think i should be going out with.. why is setting up single people such a sport?? *grumbles*
I swear i'm going to bed.. i said that an hour and a half ago but i mean it now..
lol i've been re-reading my diary from the start and it's so weird.. it's like all the emotion i was feeling on our last day of school is back.. some of it's seriously funny and other parts of it make me want to cry. Some of it makes me realise how much i've grown up. I really want to print it off and put it in my leaving book. Coz it's a record of the last year or 2 thats better than any other. I think i'm going to put more pics in my leaving book too.. some from mike's party... some from work.. just random things that makes it cover the whole year. I want to open it and laugh and cry when i re-read it in a couple of years time. So yeah i am actually leaving now and not pretending too.. it's amazing how much more i wirte in my diary now than i did. Anyways hugs to [Beki in Wonderland] coz she's having a hard time and i thin it's partly my fault for splitting with my bf.. we're so close these kinds of things have a knock on effect alot of the time. No matter what you have to do what you want to do. Coz in the end if you don't face your fear and take some risks you're not really living. Anyways we'll talk tomorrow at work probably. What else was i going to say? i have no idea now.. so i shall say g'night and bid you all ado! tarrah!
*hugs and kisses*
Love you all! xxx
BWAHA!!!! <.<
I got back from my walk about 45 minutes ago.. it was very spur of the moment.. lunch in a bag, camera and off! It was so much fun! Just what i needed some time on my own just enjoying myself! The short story is i was attempting to walk to a local country park that should have taken me an hour and a half tops only the last time i walked there was at least 2 years ago.. so i got lost! I ended up taking this narrow path that wound up a wooded cliff, it was so awesome the views were amazing and there was no one about. The sun was out and it was warm for the first time in ages so i got some awesome pictures of the forest. It was breath taking.. but it did mean my walk took an hour longer than i'd intended! I got jumped on by a cute little dog.. which made me muddy but oh well! I walked along the river by the limestone caves, i didn't know there was a path down there but it was so amazing to have massive caves on one side, worn away by wind and rain and a fast flowing river on the other.
Eventually i got to where i was meant to be and they were having a Roman day so i walked right into the middle of a Roman village with people strutting about in costume. I wish i'd thought to bring money for an ice-cream but as i hadn't i didn't stay long. There was a point on the cliff where i lost my balance on the path and almost fell off! XD After all that i headed back home and just enjoyed the sun shine.. i mean it's not been often recently we've had days as nice as this! I was just so amazingly happy as i walked home. I'd spent a couple of hours in what i believe is the most beautiful part of wales and i'm single again, it means i can be a bit more selfish and think about what i really want (thanks Vyse). So yeah i was practically jumping the whole way home and it makes me want to go for a walk everyday! It just felt so great! I wish i had a dog though.. the walk was about 6-7 miles and i'm sure a dog would have loved it.. pity my parents don't want one >.<
Anyways yeah! ^^ I'm really REALLY happy now! I can't wait to go away to camp, to go to bloodstock and get back to school and have fun with my mates and do something other than vegging! *dances* It's amazing how some time to yourself in a wonderful environment can make you want to grab life and live it as much as you can isn't it?
Work tomorrow! which i'm actually excited about it's always good fun and me and Beki gossip like old wives! It's our weekly ranting and raving session.. and we get payed! So yeah we have quite a bit to talk about tomorrow and i'm going to read the Naruto manga in preparation!
tarrah! Love you all! xxx
ps: I shall have some phots up soon of this walk and my other ramble! =D
Well i got up really late.. i did my usual (of late) waking up at 9 and thnking what is the point in it all thing rolled over and went back to sleep.. when i woke up no one was in so.. *shrugs* that meant no chester not that i'm too bothered.. chester is a social thing so i'll do it next week properly and once i have this weeks wages..
I thik i'm feeling better today than last night but i'm not sure.. *shrugs* first things first i gotta thank Vyse for being there for me.. he said the nest thing at the time.. and that was "what you need to do is decide what you want." and i agree enough of this fannying around whinging and moaning becuase i don't know what to do with myself! ENOUGH! It started when i got up. I dumped my boyfriend. Not harshly but i hadn't slept much last night coz i couldn't stop thinking about it.. about what i feel about him and i decided there was no emotion. It was just physical.. if we weren't kissing he was annoying the hell out of me.. he's a great guy but not the right one for me. So i told him i didn't want to be with him nad it wasn't working.. he was nice about it which made me feel bad but i did it over the phone.. not great i know but better than text nad if i'd said we need to talk he would have a appeared at my house and i didn't want to be in a situation where i had no where to go after i'd dumped him. I like to have time to myself to think things through and stop shaking(i was shaking so much i almost fell head first down the stairs afterwards!)
Anyways now i feel i need to decide what i want to do with the rest of my life and get my lazy ass up and start doing something about it So here's my list:
*I want to finsih all the things i've started
*I want to get my nose pierced
*I want to have fun
*i want to be single for a while
*I want to do really well in school and go to oxford
*I want to lose some weight
*i want to go hug all my camp friends in 2 weeks =P
*I want to stop worry and being lazy nd live my life not just watch it!
So now i'm off to get some lunch, my camera, some colouring pencils and a sketch pad and go for a walk to loggerheads. So i can think draw and get fitter! =P
Love you all! *big hugs* xxx
Gah.. well it's offical. we're definately NOT going to Holland.. thats good you might say? well yeah i guess it is but i'm kinda.. -_- pfleeh.. I'm one of those people that can't stay in one place very long.. i mean i've moved (on average) once every 3-4 years of my life.. and im what my mum likes to call stupidly independant.. that means i like to go off and put myself in difficult situations and be challenged and make new friends (reasons i absolutely loved going skiing with the school) and i kinda want to go... for alot of reasons.. i mean i know i'd miss my friends but i've lived here 5 year.. joint longest i've lived anywhere.. and i guess i'm going to be going away to uni in 2 years and i'll be moving on and making new friends then and i should probably enjoy this while it lasts.. Buuut... I'm getting bored of having the same local friends, always seeing the same people.. i mean i love [Beki in Wonderland] to bits.. as if she were my own sister.. we've been friends for years! Everyone thinks we should be related and i'd hate to have to leave her and there's al my other close friends, rachel, ruth, dan font, holly, dan rowberry... i'm not going to list them all and i do love them all! However i get bored of always being around the same people.. holly and the dans and rachel and me only really hang around in school, i'm with Beki almost everday, i see ruth most times i'm in mold and there's loads of friends like that but i don't have anyone outside that. (I've gone a bit off topic) I live in a stupid poxy village where everyone has known everyone since they were born and of course i'm the odd one out. All the people are chavs all my other friends know people they can just meet up with on the spurr of the moment and go out and talk to and have fun.. i mean even my brothers do. I'm quite an active person and i like living rough.. last year i spent two weeks canoeing, cooking over an open fire and sleeping under the stars and i LOVED it.. there's no one here i can really do that with.. no one i can go out walking with.. i hate it.. if my friends are busy i'm stuck in the house.. doing nothing and getting fat. I may not seem it but i'm really weight concious alot of my friends are thin and i'm constantly aware of people saying wow you're heavier than you look. It gets to me.. i'm not over weight but i can't stand just sitting around coz i snack and i get paranoid that i weigh too much and it drives me crazy. Then there's my boyfriend, josh. All i can say is i don't know.. sometimes i really like him nad others i wonder why i'm even in the relationship. I keep thinking i should break up with him.. i have once already. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if i want to be with him becuase i know he really loves me or becuase i really love him. I mean we fight all the time.. he annoys the hell out of me coz he doesn't know when to stop.. it's just! GRRRRRR!! Right now i think i don't want to be with him.. i don't know what i want but i dson't know how to tell him that i want a break.. want to be single for a while.. i don't care anymore.. i think next time i see him i'm going to tell him.
I hate not having anyone to talk to about this.. i want someone local who i can talk to any time. Instead i rant to a stupid computer screen and everyone just skim reads it and mutters "what an emo" to themselves.. tbh i don't care what other people think and even if they were to try to help i can't see it doing much good.. god dammit i want to move even more now. In less than 2 weeks i'm going on a hiking trip for 2 weeks with some friends from all over, camp friends from last year. It's going to be great, to chat with them and sleep out under the stars again and i'll lose so much weight. I've missed them so much adn FSC when i'm away on these holidays i can forget everything.. life is simple it's about surviving making it to the next camp site and cooking dinner! It's such a laugh and i know when i coe back i'll be wishing i never left. This last year or so i've been having worse and worse bouts of feeling really low.. i've put it down to exam stress, relationship problems.. moving blah blah blah.. and i can only seeing it getting worse over the next to years.. but short of running away what can i do?
*sigh* i'm going crazy.. i can't wait to get to university.. meet new people.. i'm like the opposite of what you expect.. i lOVE change what scares me is everything staying the same.. being stuck in the same place with the same people. I want to get really drunk.. have a party or something.. but i can't i'm never invited.. i'm always the outsider.. part of everything but with no seperate life! I think i'm going to go walk to moel ffamau tomorrow.. walk to the top and sit! or to the top of loggerheads, take some photos.. do some drawing.. just chill and think.. i feel like i'm stuck in a prison at the moment. I need to sort my head out.
That means telling josh i want to stop going out with him for the moment. That means finshing all those things i said i'd finish. That means a fresh start.. i need a new hobby so i can have some new friends... i need something but i'm not sure what yet! >.<
...so yeah
on the up side Harry Potter was GREAT!!!! i loved it.. i want to go see it again though coz my brothers were chatting and i missed some bits.. but ZOMG!! i wanted to see bill! apparently he's really hot! <3
I went to sleep! *nods* okay so it was at 5am.. buut.. <.<
lol i got up at 4pm as well.. which goes to show i am becoming nocturnal.. but it's fun! we're going to see Harry Potter tomorrow! *is stupidly excited* lol i'm going with my family and Joshwa and Beki! we should have fun! =D It was expensive though.. bloody cinema prices and they go and knock down the only reasonably priced local cinema to replace it with a lap dancing club -_- i hate society...
My dad got back from Russia tonight as well! *squee* the stupid man is never at home anymore.. he was in switzerland last week, russia this week, switzerland again next week and the week after Canada for the world championships for 24 hour racing (he's strange) but on the plus side trips away means presants! =D He got me exactly what i wanted.. a completely stupid furry russian hat and it's a communist one as well.. i'll have to take a picture! XD So i've been sitting up on rs since midnight (when i got lunch coz i was starving) wearing this rediculous hat and doing quests!
Beki's gone to bed and that made me realise i probably should too so just a bit of rambling and message answering and i'll head to where i'm meant to be.
so what have i done recently? nothing useful thats for sure! lol..i've got re-addicted to runescape so i thought what the heck last night and stayed up all night.. i kinda meant to and kinda didn't. I'd said to Josh i would coz i hadn't got up till lunch time yesterday.. so i was like.. feh not tired..
Anyways i sat down with a book and suddenly realise.. very belately as my mum had told me several times she was off to bed and it was late.. that it was almost midnight so i was like.. pc *nods* i planned to check messages and stuff but i was in a writing mood so i speant an hour rambling to myself on word.. started as a detailed description of myself and ended as a kinda personal ramble.. the i gave up on life and went to go on rs and fish some lobbies..
unfortunately ai, beki, [Beki in Wonderland] w/e you want to call her was online so we ended up wandering around and i said at about 4am i was going to get off the pc and then got completely side-tracked looked at the clock and it was 5:30.. my mum was waking me up at 7 to get ready for school anyways so there was not much point in going to sleep so i read a bit pretended to be asleep yelled at my mum and got up.
Then school and i was hyper from lack of sleep and waaay too much coffee <.< >.> so we went to one lesson realised that the whole induction was really pointless and i'd already spoken to my teachers and i'd seen everyone i wanted to see so i left after 1st period.. then town just bogging around amusing myself until lunch when i got a lift home.. my gran and grandad were here but i'd been awake over 24 hours by this point and wasn't in a talkative mood.. so i went to my room and read and then thought i should get some sleep. So i slept really lightly listening to the radio until 4 when someone came in and disturbed me and i got up. But coz i was so tired i ended up on the sofa for another two hours sleeping for 10 minutes and waking up flicking channels and sleeping again so that was alot of use >.< That makes my total of sleep in the last 2 days about..2 hours max.. greeaat.. but then i had dinner and food always wakes me up so of course now i can't sleep at all and i don't feel tired.
I'm at that stage where you know you should be tired.. know you should be dying somewhere you even feel a detached sense of tiredness like it's floating around you but i can't sleep and i just want to be doing stuff. Beki's ramble about the darkest part of the night and it's beauty has made me want to go for a walk.. >.< i'm gunna go for another ramble tomorrow i think i know a route now! =D i'm going to do it backwards i think! ^_^ (i have photos to put up of my last ramble.. i got lost! =P)
I have a really sore throat which i think is from drinking my cider when my brother got bleach in it when he was messing about.. it wasn't enough to kill me or anything but not a good idea anyway.. so i'm not doing that again! =D
Now i'm just rambling so i'm going to go on gaia.. and then i dunno probably go read for a bit and come back to the pc if i still can't sleep.. i am becoming nocturnal! but thats fine i only have to get up normally once a week for work so i'll survive! XD
It's raining... again.. all day yesterday it rained, all day the day before it rained.. it's been raining for weeks now.. it's JULY!!!!!! << not impressed -_- It's 1pm and i finally got out of bed.. i woke up at about 10 but i couldn't be bothered getting up coz i knew it'd be raining and i'm fed up of it. I'd rather stay in my nice warm bed and dream about other more exciting things.
It sucks. I'm off school because my GCSEs have ended but i can't do anything coz it's raining, can't go to town or chester coz everything that doesn't involve spending money is outside. Can't go camping, can't do much walking coz i haven't got a rain coat. I'm feed up of being stuck inside.. and i have a killer headache that won't go away and has been appearing on and off for a couple of days.
gah! >.< I think i might go for a walk anyway this afternoon.. just to get out of the house.. i'll take my camera and take some pictures and then i'll come home and work on the designs for how i'm decorating my room photograph adn dismantle my bed and then things can actually get started! yay...
DIARY RAMBLE!!!!
yeah i can't be bothered with the shopping ramble.. basically i got clothes.. i don't think anyone really cares! lol
Anyways i've FINALLY started doing Tsome's request and si'm sorry Tsome that it's taken me so long.. i'll send you the pencil sketch when i'm done so you cna see what i'm doing and probably add colour at somepoint tomorrow. So yeah all i have to do after this is:
*Beki with cat ears
*Piano attacking!! dun dun dun
*Something for matt
and thats it i think! =D yay!
Entry No 2: The Anti-Prom
(yeah this is in a random order seeming as i'm doing the Anti-prom after today but before the shopping thing which was actually before the anti-prom.. o___O.. that made no sense what so ever! >.<)
Okay so the Anti-Prom was friday, it was a party to mark the end of our GCSEs and also a revolt against the popular kid organised school prom! ^_^ Beki came over at around 6ish and we both got changed into very posh dresses.. we were VERY hyper which boded well for when the drinking started! XD Within 20 minutes beki had buttered her dress in the least inconspicuous places! We had bagels *nods* Josh was despairing.. especially coz we both had lots of alcohol.. beki had a 12 can crate of strongbow and some coconut rum liquore(sp) and i had a 2 litre bottle of strongbow and some red WKD. So we got my parents to take some photos (which i will put up when i find out whats been done with them!) and then we left!
From that point on things kinda went downhill.. by the time the band started playing me and Beki had had 2 cans of cider and were feeling rather mellow. During the band's set i was sitting on beki's knee and she kept bouncing me.. o__O which made me scream and at one point i got up to yell and her and missed the chair sitting down which resulted in a collision with a guitar and a table.. which hurt! =( The band were pretty good and it was fun trying to put walker off with the tea thing! After that more drinking and we went outside to chill.. not much happened really, Mike got stuck in one of these childrens block things (play stuff) and i was running around being hyper. Then i went for a walk with Chris and we ended up sitting in a bush..
While we were there chatting some chav's appeared and i put the can of cider up my top (don't ask why!) and got out of the bush. One of them called me a dirty bitch which i was WAY too proud of and me and chris headed back to mike's where aparently everyone had been looking for me and Josh (boyfriend) was emoing over my disappearance.
Then Josh and Walker disappeared and me and Beki went to the park. We played in the sand and hung upside down and i found a log on the side which i found really funny! XD Then more drinking.. another set from the band. Trampolining! Which was fun.. we found matt gagged and bound on there at one point! More walking.. more drinking and alot of stuff i can't remember!
I was talking to rob at one point about god knows what and we talked to non-boyfriend josh about his shoes and the prom. (I was on the verge of complete pissed-ness by this point) Apparently i drank some rum but i don't remember.. and me and beki went for a long walk up to someone's house and then headed back. Cross told me to jump off a bridge adn i decided it was a good idea and went in search of a bridge.. XD
Ohh and i found some ginger wine.. which apparently tasted like crap but i really liked! There was this guy there too who apparently made me crawl under a car but he decided he liked me and i got given a 3 tens score by him, this woman i was on the trampoline with and someone else who the random guy forced to give me a 10 on the pretence that i was cool and he liked me! X3 lol i felt special! That was about it from what i can remember go check out [Beki in Wonderland] aka beki's diary as it'll make more sense than mine and the pics can be found at: The Anti-Prom lol it was a gooood night! we went to sleep at about 4 me, beki and josh sharing the tiniest bed! The we got up and had penuts and party rings! i lOVE party rings! X3
i'm going to have a ramble about the past couple of days but i'll split it up into manageable chunks.. about a day to an entry so that makes.. 3 entries i think sat sun and mon can be grouped together coz i was a lazy arse on all of those days! =D The Anti-Prom must have it's own entry and shopping.. *nods* that way if you're a guy or just plain fed up you can only read the bits you want to.. yehum.. so this entry shall be.. hmm today (tuesday) and a ramble about the pro's and con's of not being in school! =D yayness!
So yeah.. got up at 9:30 and pottered around until 11 when i caught the bus into town to do some bits and bobs. (Not being in school means i can potter to where ever i like.. mostly town.. although i'm pottering up moel ffamau on friday i'm going to take some pictures and hopefully do some sketches and stuff. the con is i had to get milk and a key cut for my mum and i had to go into school to return alot of stuff -__-) I met up with Josh and Walker but they were going into chester and i couldn't be bothered coz i have to cook dinner and i need to save money for bloodstock! woop!
So yeah then my mum gave me a lift home at lunch time but coz she's working lates and my dad is training for the 24 hour race world championshipd (mad.. utterly mad) and my brother is preforming in a school show she told me i had a bunch of chores to do. One of the major cons of being off school.. my mum now phones and gets me to do pretty much everything and anything she can think of under the pretence of "you have nothing better to do" thanks mum -__- So yeah my list for today was:
*Clean out the rabbit and guinea pig
*Empty and re-fill the coffee machine
*Clean the bathroom (she couldn't be arsed doing it but she says she'll give me a fiver so..)
*unstack the dishwasher (i'm making my brother do it as i have to do teh after dinner chores.)
*cook dinner
*do the after dinner chores (setting and clearing the table, stacking the dishwasher and washing up.)
i've done the R&G, bathroom and coffee machine. I'll be going to cook dinner in an hour.. and i want to stay up tonight and finish all my ET requests.. *le sigh* i'm definately not ready to give up on going to school.. it's too much like hard work! lol
The other pro's and con's are: I can do pretty much whatever i want and stay up late BUT it's expensive and i now need a part time job.. as if babysitting and working sunday's on the farm isn't enough.. i'm going to the job center this week and to homebase to look at stuff for decorating my room. (i'm in the process of clearing and boxing everything up.. it looks so bare now i have no posters up and the room is full of bin-bags and boxs!) So yeah.. stuff to keep me busy and my dad has said i should have a look at the A level syllabus so i don't turn into a mindless veg over the hols.. -______- ahh well XD i will truelly know how to survive at uni after this!
last diary entry.. i promise! lol i am going to bed now! <.< >.>
On a little side note this is not funny at all but it made me laugh my ass off.. seriously.. maybe you have to know mike *shrugs*
we were talking about Josh's sleeping arrangements for tomorrow night and he was wanting to know if his parents need directions etc. So meh then he just went: "forget i said anything we can invent sleeping places" I found it really funny coz i just had this image of a drunk group of partyers trying to get a drunk josh ontop of a cupboard so he had somewhere to sleep..
I know not funny at all.. i think it's my tiredness the fact i know mike and what happened last party.. *tries to stand up* "ow"...*tries to stand up* "ow"...*tries to stand up* "ow"... "oh yeah i'm under the table!" XD yeah that was me! <.<
I just came online to have a quick rant about stuff!! ^__^
I just got in from babysitting (i'm so tired! XD) it was alright took me about 2 hours to get the kids to bed though -_- but i got payed which was cool! =D Means i have some money to save up for a shopping trip! yay! lol
It's so weird you can tell i'm tired because i walked into my house and my dad had left me a note and a large box of ferrero roche's (my favorite chocolates) and i nearly burst into tears! XD it was just so sweet.. i haven't seen my dad in a week coz he travels alot and we're a close family so mu mum finds it tough and i have more work to do to help out. Which is fine but with exams as well i'm completely shattered. Anyways the note said "Just a little something as a congratulation
so yeah that's about all i have to say.. i'll write more next chance i get which might not be till saturday coz i'm having a girly shopping day with my mum tomorrow and then mike's party! X3
Wiki's: All replied to
Diaries: All read
Image Changes: Alll looked at
Now: Smoothie and food!
I HAFF NEW HAIR! X3 i shall post pics.. at some point when i'm at home! =D
annd...
Well i promised an end of week update and here it is! ^__^ Just a quick warning 1) i have ALOT to write about because i haven't been writing in here much this week 2) if you don't want to end up spending half an hour or so reading this just ignore the entire thing! 3) my spelling has apparently died <.< >.> so sorry for all the mistakes. XD I think i'm going to start at today which i think is Sunday and work backwards.. so the end should be very vague.. coz exams make you forget stuff more easily *nods* .. oh and i'll have to probably write this in several parts becuase 1) i'm lazy 2) i'm meant to be having a short break from revision BUT if i make it last until 4 i can have half an hour off having afternoon cake and coffee (yeah my family got posh.. i shall explain in a min!) 3) i'm puzzling on gaia ! XD <333 Gaia is the reason i haven't been online much.. i'm addicted!
Infact i'm going to forget the days thing and ramble in a random way as there are a few things that span several days..
//WARNING!!: Ramble about legs\\Meh lets start with this weekend and the reason i look (apparently) like some popular high school clone.. and this is going to sound completely stupid but it's because i'm trying to tan my legs before Mike's party! I woke up on saturday and threw on my usual black jeans and black strap top then i went and watched TV for an hour or two by which point i'd noticed that it was a really nice day.. soo.. me being me i decided i wanted to have a long kinda "beautifying session" becuase i'd been so busy with exams and stuff. So i pottered off to the bathroom, had a long shower put a face-mask on all that kinda girly stuff and then decided my legs were horribly pale compared to my arms (which had been exposed to the sun and tan quite well) which led to me throwing half the contents of my wardrobe around trying to find a pair of shorts.. my black pair smelt kinda dodgy coz i'd been on a canoing holiday last year and worn them in the river so i had to settle for my jean pair.. which are shorter than i thought! XD After that i had no black tops and i remembered my gran and grandad were coming over with my grandad's half sister and her husband which he found last year (he's adopted so he didn't know his real family and out of the blue he got a phone call from this woman and it turned out she was his half sister so of course we had to meet them). Which made me decide to wear this green top my gran got me a couple of years ago. So i went and prettyfied myself and went downstairs to sit in the garden, tan my legs and revise! (yay for multi-tasking!) And my mum turned around went OMG! and then realised it was me (thanks mum! -_-) at which point she told me i looked very nice but i wasn't her daughter becuase i looked too stylish (again thanks mum! XD she didn't mean it in a bad way just i don't normally look "fasionable" more just odd!) SO now i have made a resolution to wear shorts for the next two weeks so i can get browner legs! ^__^ see wasn't that important? a long ramble about shorts and legs! XD //RAMBLE OVER!\\
What else? it's now been about 2 weeks since i started that entry and i have absolutely no idea what i was going to say for the rest of it.. i'm nearly done my exams now though.. only STATs on Thursday and then Mike's anti-prom friday and i CANNOT WAIT!!! it's going to be awesome.. Vena Cava are playing and as i'm good friends with their Drummer and their bassist is my ex (don't worry we're speaking.. it's cool! XD) I know exactly what their playlist is and my god it sounds awesome!! Plus i'm wearing a dress and jewellery and i'm going to be looking somewhat respectable! *gasp* i know! xD I'm getting my hair cut and dyed tomorrow.. black and pink and turquoise! X3 which should be interesting.. i'll post photos at some point.. of my hair and of me and [Beki in Wonderland] at the party.. Mike's party pics take 2! XD lol if last time is anything to go by we're going to have so much fun!
Meh i guess i should comment on my exams.. i think they went pretty well.. i stupidly took 12 GCSEs so i had about 18 exams to do in this last month -_- with a week break over half term for revision.. it's been so tiring.. getting up at 7, revising till 2 am and then sitting and thinking for hours only to think afterwards that i've completely failed! XD They haven't been that bad in all honestly.. i mean welsh i've failed and physics was SO difficult but i think i did okay ion all my other exams and thats the last thing i'm going to say on the matter because there is absolutely worrying about something i can't change for 2 months. (results day is on the 23rd August)
I need to send myself a reminder that we have a 6th form day on the 10th July.. (in 2 weeks i think) and after that i'm not going back to school until September (hopefully i'll get accepted into the 6th form)
So over my extra long summer i've got some things to do and some things to look forward to!
1)I've got to catch up on all my EP ET and Realms messages... especially the realms.. i admin so i have a new forum to sort out, RP to post on and a lot of general work to do.
2) Finish all the art requests i've had recently and upload all my art to my DA as well as type up some stories and poems and organise them somewhere!
3) 2 weeks walking holiday with FSC end of July/beginning of August X3 i'll be seeing Ian, Graham and Jaco for the first time in a year <3 luff to them all.. we have so many camp take-over plans! XD
4) BLOODSTOCK!!!! The line up looks awesome and i've got my tickets! <3
5) A random week long ramble with [Beki in Wonderland] to get over the exams and just chill chat and be lazy!
Anyways that'll be it from me until Friday i think.. except to post photos of my hair tomorrow!
My New Start Resolutions:
*walk somewhere every day
*do 60 stomach crunches a day
*keep up to date with ET and EP
*eat more healthily
*save money
*HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS I CAN!!!
Love ya! xxx <333
What is my stereotype??
--------------
Whats Your Stereotype?
____________
•HIGH CLASS:•
____________
•[] You go/have gone tanning.
•[x] You own an iPod/mp3 player.
•[x] You love Starbucks.
•[] You have been called a brat.
•[] You have tons of shoes.
•[] You hate buying things that are on sale.
•[] You have a laptop.
•[x] You love shopping.
•TOTAL: 3
________
•GOTHIC:•
_________
•[x] Black is one of your favorite colors. (okay that fits)
•[] You wear chains. (thats fetish not goth)
•[x] you like heavy metal. (metal head not goth)
•[X] you've shopped at soho's (huh? i'm british what is that?? SOHO'S IS THE ONLY GOTH SHOP.. i'm changing it to soho's) (hot topic is more emo/scene)
•[x] You have worn black lipstick. (punk/rocker/me
•[x] You have/had/or wanted piercings. (punk)
•[] You own a pair of Tripp pants (punk)
•[X] u have at least one unnaturally colored haired friend. (punk)
ergo none of this makes you a goth.. ergo you lose! XD
•TOTAL: 6
(TRUE GOTH IS DEAD! RIP)
_______
•PUNK:•
_______
•[] You can skateboard. (skater -_-)
•[] You like plaid.
•[] You have/love Converse. (scene/clone)
•[x] You hate mtv. (anti-pop)
•[x] You have/had/wante
•[X] You love mohawks
•[X] You LOVE Music. (punk music)
•[X] Hate people who pretend to be something they are not
•TOTAL: 5
(PUNK IS NOW PLONK.. I SAY BRING BACK THE GOOD OLD PUNK ROCK!)
______
•EMO:•
______
•[X] You are depressed sometimes. (everyone gets depressed doesn't make you emo)
•[x] You have dark colored thick-rimmed glasses. (again not emo.. some people actually need glasses and there's not like there's a wide variety to choose from.)
•[] You cry easily. (again not emo.. sensitive -_-)
•[X] You like emo music
•[] You've kept a journal/diary. (also doesn't make you emo just coz you want to remember your life!)
•[x] You have written a sad poem. (doesn't make you emo.. >.<)
•[] you have dyed your hair (EVERYONE dyes their hair.. so we're all emo.. yay! now can everyone stop being so childish about it all.)
•[] You're sad when you're drunk
•TOTAL: 4
(TRUE EMO IS COOL! ALAS EMO IS DEAD AND ALL THAT REMAINS IS SCENE)
_______
•GHETTO:•
_____
•[] You like rap
•[x] have said "Fo Sho, Fo Shizzle, Fo Sheezy, etc."
•[] You have worn/wanted a grill.
•[] You have had a freestyling contest.
•[] You have worn your shoes with the tongue flipped out.
•[] You've said the N word to a black person and didnt get punched
•[] you know most of the lines from Boyz N Da Hood
•[] You own a huge gold chain with a giant gold pendant
•TOTAL: 1
___________
•HARDCORE:•
___________
•[x] You like loud music.
•[x] You love/like the Ninja Turtles. (WTF?????)
•[x] You have slip-on shoes.
•[] You like Norma Jean.
•[x] People have called you a freak and meant it lovingly
•[] You love to "hardcore" dance
•[x] Your hair has been dyed more than one color.
•[x] You wear jeans a lot.
•TOTAL: 6
(how does this make you hardcore?)
_______
•PREP:•
_______
•[] You LOVE/like The OC.
•[] You had/have/want a tiny/small sized dog.
•[] Your usual outfits consist of pink.
•[] u like buying shoes A LOT.
•[] you shop at Hollister.AE,a
•[] Getting your nails done is a fun thing.
•[x] You have big sunglasses
•[x] You can't go anywhere without your hair perfect.
•TOTAL: 2
__________
•ATHLETIC:•
__________
•[] You watch the Superbowl.
•[] You own track shoes or cleats other sports related shoes.
•[] You own jerseys.
•[] You have/ had a special shelf for trophies and awards.
•[] Your garage/shed consists of sports equipment.
•[] You belong/belonge
•[] You have a specific number preferred for your jersey.
•[] You practice a sport at least 3 times a week
TOTAL: 0
_______
•SCENE:•
_______
•[x] You like putting little bows in your hair (J-Rock.. japanese fetish not scene)
•[] You have mini-skirts.
•[x] You have parted your hair to the side. (yeah coz it looks crap otherwise..)
•[] You think polka-dots are way cute.
•[x] You have done a peace sign while you pose for a picture.
•[] You've been called scene before.
•[] You have dyed you hair a bright neon color
•[x] You wear/wore long, colorful socks with your skirts
•TOTAL:4
__________
•REDNECK:•
__________
•[] Gone four wheeling.
•[] Went hunting.
•[] Own a four/three-whe
•[] Like to go fishing.
•[] Eat beef jerky
•[] Ever said GIT-R-DONE.
•[] Listened to the song Redneck Woman.
•[] Know who Bocephus is.
•TOTAL: 0
___________
•METALHEAD:•
___________
•[x] You wear band shirts alot.
•[x] If people down talk metal you down talk their favorite music.
•[x] You like bands like As I Lay Dying, Lamb Of God, and All That Remains.
•[] You HATE emos. (i don't hate true emo i hate scene)
•[x] You love Black Sabbath.
•[x] You have gone to Ozzfest.
•[x] You like to headbang.
•[x] You don't like rap.
•[x] You have a taste for classic rock as well.
•TOTAL: 8
•The 1 that you have the most X's under will be your title!!•
Repost this as "whats ur stereotype?"
I am.. a metal head.. go figure! XD lol
I hate exams... well no thats not really true, i like exmas i prefer them to revision leave.. all the learning things and having no idea if what you're even learning is going to help you at all. I don't mind exams what i do hate is people. I know it sounds really odd and it's not like i'm anti-social or anything but when i'm doing exams i like to chill and focus i don't mind being with one person and chatting but i've only had 2 exams so far and already i've had to walk away from all my friends becuase i know if i'd stayed i would have ended up yelling at them all and really using my temper.
I don't know why it's just i can't stand being with a bunch of people that don't really give a shit about me and only speak to me coz they have problems. I hate people thinnking i'll do whatever they want coz i'm easy going. Right now i'm in the frame of mind where i want to push all my friends away, i want to yell at them and hurt them coz i know then i'll feel better. I'll feel like i deserve to feel like crap at the moment, like i'll be able to stop worrying about everyone else and actually worry about myself.
This happens to me alot and i know it's stress but knowing doesn't make it any easier, it doesn't stop me from wanting to go on a killing spree or run away. If it wasn't for the fact GCSEs are so important i'd be gone by now. The other thing i hate is not knowing whether i'm going to move to Holland or not. We might be finding out tomorrow and fingers crossed we do becuase the longer we wait the more i can feel myself completely loosing it. I make a promise right now that i am going away for a couple of days after my last exam. From the 23rd to the 25th i think. I'll take some clothes, our hiking tent and go off into the clwydian mountains. It'll give me a chance to think nad get so worn out thinking's no longer important. If i didn't have a biology exam (which i'm going to fail) tomorrow i would be getting completely wasted right now. Nothing like drowning your sorrows but i'm going through too much crap with these exams for me to just throw them away like that.
I'm in two minds about whether to get the morning bus into school tomorrow or get a lift. I'll go in in the morning *nods* Beki's going in and chatting to her on msn has made me feel better.. i can rant at her! *luffles* <.< lol XD
meh i'm playing on gaia.. i'll do an exam update at the end of the week.. i need to go do puzzle stuff! yeah!
Que todays long winded and ultimately pointless ramble... wait for it.. wait for it... okay NOW!
Well yesterday was just as good as i thought it would be! XD I had fun!! lol We met in Mold at 1 and got the bus to Chester which was 50 minutes of singing drunkenly, yelling at Josh for suggesting that the bus wasn't a pirate ship! (XD) Flying our pirate flag out the back window and waving swords at all the nearby drivers! It was amazingly fun if childish, drunken and resembling a two girl hen party! Anyways we got to chester got our tickets for POTC3 and did a bit of shopping. It was so hot!! I couldn't believe it.. i mean it's britain nad it's been raining for the last couple of days! So we had to stop by cafe republic and grab ourselves a couple of bueno shakes and some oreos. Then we went to clairs and me and beki had to get a set of surprise bags! XD After that we decided it was too hot for proper shopping and went and blew pretty much all our money in the disney shop on POTC3 merc. I got a cup (i'm getting the mug next time) some badges and some transfer tattoo's. Then we watched the movie, Josh for the first time and me and [Beki in Wonderland] /aka Beki\ for the 2nd time. it was just as good the second time and there were only about 9 people in the cinema so we were alloud to laugh at EVERYTHING we found funny (which for me and beki was pretty much every single thing!) and chat about what we thought of the movie as it went along. For me it is the best of the 3 films and Will and Jack are at their hottest <33 nothing like a bit of fan love.. i mean come on.. the dark eye-liner thing and wet wind-swept hair.. it just works! XD
So yeah a good day!
Today was quite boring just biology revision all day with breaks for reading Neo mag, answering ET and EP messages and texting people but it was still a pretty awesome day, i felt really chilled and well rested for the first time in ages. which just goes to show having a day out followed by a day of revision is ALOT better than several days of revision in a row. There were a couple of things at dinner and this evening that made me laugh though:
me: oh mark Josh says he'll fight you if you get a sword
mark: great! but remember to tell him i don't fight fair i mean if we're locked in battle a kick to the crotch would solve everything.
me: *laughs* you should fight me then, i don't fight fair and a kick to the crotch wouldn't do much.
mark: yeah but then i could hit you in the nose with my sword.
me: i'm short i'd sit down and then i'd hit you round my kneecaps with my sword!
mark: i could just hit you on the head with the hilt of my sword.
me: no! i'd be rolling around your feet in circles occasionally hitting your shins.
mark: i'd drop a bomb...
me: *inturrupting* you would never have a bomb..
mark: but if i did i'd drop it and walk away..
dad: *laughs* and blow yourself up as well as her.
mark: it'd be on a timer, what do you think i am? stupid? yeah i could imagine it.. how do you turn this thing on? ahh i see BOOM!
me: do i look completely thick to you? I think i might notice that your feet had disappeared and there was a bomb instead!
lewis: why don't you step out of your boots?
mark: yeah it could be a pair of exploding boots.. you could just be walking into tesco and.. BANG! one of your boots blow up!
Everyone: *laughs*
mum: *gives us all a look*
Then later when we were clearing up:
mark: it'll fit, it'll fit! (he was trying to get a bowl of pasta into the fridge* yes i managed it!
me: yeah and then you close the fridge door and.. "crash SMASH!"
mark: when have you ever heard anything go smash?? You don't get a train crashing into a building and then "SMASH!" or a bomb blowing up and the sound "SMASH" echoing around the hills.
me: fair point *walks away*
and finally we were having a nice family conversation about terrorism.. as you do..
mark: terrorists are stupid.
me: why's that?
mark: well instead of having a pair of sissors they could buy a bottle of water on the plane and throw it over the pilot's controls.
lewis: you'd need a kid to get into the cockpit..
me: i'm sure the controls are all protected from liquid damage (if they're not i suggest you hurry up and sort that!)
mum: you know what's really stupid?
me: what?
mum: the scientist guys they get on TV after all these terrorist plots and stuff.
mark: yeah like after the car park bombing attempt on the twin towers and the guy came on TV and said "that would have been most ineffective if i wanted to cause maximum damage i would have flown a plane into this floor of the building as it is where the building is weakest" (i kid you not.. they actualy gave the terrorists information on how best to bomb the twin towers -_-)
sorry if anyone finds that offensive but it is really stupid.. i mean come on!