Happy :) 

<3

Nuff said really :3

</spam>

Abdhsfiuregeahgtea has anyone else ever experienced man-drought man-flood syndrome? (Em's name for it XD ) ...When you don't see any 'potential suiters' for about 400 years, then all of a sudden 4 pop up at once and you have to choose between them =___= it's poo. I'm just going to become a nun. It's easier.

</pointless>

I AM SKINTYPOO. Again. I have ZERO cash, jesus. It's crap being poor. Oh well, i've managed to dig out a few bottles of booze so as long as Sircus stops being a twat and answers his phone i'm going out for a good old fashioned drinking mish around Hawerden and Ewloe tonight (Y). I shall drink away my troubles, damnit!
College is killing me, as is only to be expected, but feh. It's just tiring. Veeeery long days. Wake up at 6am, get ready, get bus at 7.20am, get to college at 8am, arse around for an hour, classes classes blah blah blah, come home, get home at 5.30pm... Go to bed XD its very slow too. Most of my days are half days but i can't afford to get the bus home anymore so i have to wait for the free college bus at 4.30, which means hanging around in Wrexham for like 4 hours... which is great when it's sunny, but when it's cold and rainy and horrible... Not so great.
Psh, but im just being hormonal. But i really do want to go out and get drunk tonight so i will actually nut Sircus in the face if he blows me off for whatever reason he comes up with. And i'll just go out drinking with Dave instead. Bahahahahaaaa.
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TANK CAT INTO MORDOR!
Yes. I'm going to get ready now. Toodle-oo.

</spam>

I LOL'D

Nomnomnom. I am once again looking back at past.. Stuff. And wondering where the old me has gone? I've gotten so different recently, it's bizarre, and i can't tell if it's a good or a bad thing. Part of me is proud of myself for managing to change my ways and actually try and succeed at something. Part of me misses the old laid-back i-don't-give-a-fuck me. Life was more fun back then when the only things i paid attention to were men and getting rat arsed. I mean, i'm happier and healthier now, i'm working hard, i've stabilised myself mentally and i feel like i'm going somewhere but... Well i don't feel like i'm having nearly as much fun =/ I used to get drunk so much more, have flings with guys who's names i didn't even know, experiment with drugs, have mental break downs almost once a week, fight with anyone who tried to stop me... But it was so much more fun than what i'm doing now: being as helpful as i can, avoiding drinking as much as possible, going to college and not skiving, doing coursework before touching the tv, being nice to people... But i'm getting bored. Maybe i'm just one of those people who is only happy when i'm on self-destruct =/  or is this all a normal part of growing up? I dunno... Bleh...

In other news, le Swine Flu is clearing up now. I've just got a killer-cough and a bit of the sniffles, but apart from that i think i'm in the clear. Oink oink ;p

</spam>

Bahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!

Guess what?

My test results have come back from the doctors. For the last week i've HAD Swine Flu XD XD

And i've been going into college thinking "I'll be ok, it's just a bad cold."

I've probably given it to half of Wrexham by now!

Oink!

</spam>

Now in a foul mood :( just want a hug and a brew and someone to make me feel a little less worthless than i currently do.

Isn't it weird how a few words in the right order can make you feel so utterly crap about yourself?

Even if it was jokingly, did he really need to aim for the nerve? Jesus... I've remembered why i used to hate most of the male population. Arses.

Do i come across as an insensitive person or something? People seem to think it's ok to try and make me feel as bad as possible about myself, because OBVIOUSLY it doesn't affect me at all. I'm just a statue to throw abuse at when you're feeling pissy. Grrrrr... Men.

</spam>

I am in such a good mood today :3

I woke up at 6.30am and didn't even complain about it XD

My nan, auntie and uncle are staying with us, and i haven't seen them for like... a million years. So that's nice :D

Going out laterzzz with Amz, Gemma, Sircus and Hibbert, who Amz keeps calling Herbert and i keep calling Hibbery XD should be a giggle X3

Fun times.

Life is goooooooooood!

</spam>

ARGRWFREAHGTEHTE I love college X3 I love the fact that i only have one full day a week lmao XD it makes the week go much quicker when you're in lessons for 3 hours, then off to the bandstand to get a wee bit baked for the rest of the day with all the mental people up there. There's some proper awesome people at Yale. I was fooked today, i just sat playing Bejeweled for like 2 hours then got the giggles REALLY badly and had a conversation with Dave, which most people overheard and went o.O at XD

Beki: Have you ever thrown a bee at someone?
Dave: ...No
Beki: It's well funny, they never see it coming.
Dave: I can sort of see why *XD*
Beki: Throwing a pigeon at someone would be epic...
Dave: I'd like to hit someone with an owl.
Beki: *LMAO*

I literally laughed for like half an hour, i just found the image of someone whacking someone else with an owl so hilarious XD and Dave chucked a conker at some random person for no reason, which had me in a laughing fit again for about an hour XD dear me. And Sircus kept trying to strangle me with his bandana o.O he was on one a bit XP
WELL looking forward to saturday, if Hibbert gets it together, it will be such a fun day X3 all getting wrecked together and going to watch Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs IN 3D!!! That should be amusing. And i've been invited to a 'Dom Party' on saturday night, so i may just go and take Amz and Sircus with me, cuz they'd well be up for it lmao XD
I love college <3
I have a bunch of friends who have recently all buggered off to uni as well, and as far as i can tell most of them are really enjoying themselves, so i'm glad about that X3 everyone is moving on up in life and it's all goooooood <3
FREE DAY TOMORROW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!! Then only 3 hours Friday. Lazy timetable ftw!!! Awww yeeeeeah.

</spam>

WAAAAAA So tired D; dear me. 6am starts still not working for me XD Had a good day in college today though (Y) Twas only a half day, and we had Paddy in the morning which was mint cuz he's le awesome! XD Then Amz went home but i decided to hang around cuz Gemma, Dave, Sircus, Danny and a couple of other people were free the rest of the afternoon. I met some people who went to Bloodstock! Twas awesome XD And Sircus arsed around at the Peace thingy they were doing at the bandstand, sitting there with a little paper sign saying "free dreads for peace and stuff" O.o so we had a conversation with signs, was quite amusing.
Ah yus, the weekend was fun too! Went to Amz's to chill with her, Skye and Harri. We got a wee bit fucked and played Cursed Mountain, which was fun XD My eyes have never been so sore in my life though D; we were sat out in the tent for ages and i actually forgot we were in a tent, it was really trippy when Harri got up to go and get some fresh air and she unzipped the door. I went through a stage of total confusion because i thought she was unzipping Amz's bedroom wall XD Fail.
Anywhooooo... Not looking forward to tomorrow, full day blaaaaaah D; Buuut on the plus side we're going up to Glyndwr to play with glass and metal, which should be fun, if slightly dangerous XD and 'going to Glyndwr' means 'walk out of college, make sure Sheena isn't watching, hang around chatting for 15 minutes, pop into a shop for a Mars, arse around for another 15 minutes, THEN walk up to Glyndwr' XD fun times.
Soooooooooooooooo.. Going to play Fable now to try and keep myself awake for another couple of hours or so XD

</spam>

Nom nom nom. SOOOO glad it's the weekend XD I'm bloody exhausted, college has drained me this week, it's gonna take ages to get used to 6am starts D; had a proper nice lie in this morning though, managed to stay in bed till 10.30 XD WAAAAA. Going to get my hair done in a few hours, then i'm off to Amz's for a night of drinking and chilling and playing Cursed Mountain with her and Harri, and we're sleeping in a tent i think lmao XD Dear me. Doing some work for Paddy now, trying to design a new Mr. Man lmao XD fun times. I've been playing Fable II obsessively again recently, because my brother finally bought it for me again after he trashed it ¬___¬ ...And i've only just noticed. The tunnel in Reaver's mansion is called Reaver's Rear Passage. LOL. That has to be deliberate, right? XD and i've lost my wife somewhere D; i set our marital home as Fairfax Castle and she's disappeared, and apparently i have a family emergency but I CAN'T FIND THE BINT D:
Fable rant over. MRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrr not looking forward to Tuesday. Tuesday is our only full day at college and it's sooooo tiring XD i'm too lazy. Oh wellz. I'm off now to draw more Mr. Men XD

</spam>

LOL. Ok, i was just bumming around on Bzoink and i just happened across some girl's survey results... This person claims to be 21. Here is the small section of the survey that has caused me to doubt the overall intelligence of the human race:

Are you a virgin?: yep :D
If not, what age did you lose your virginity?: n/a
What comes in to mind when I say 69?: hm....
If not a virgin, who took away your virginity?: n/a
Have you ever tooken away someone else's virginity?: yeah...
If so, who's?: this guy named kyle

So she's a virgin. At 21 that's fairly unusual, but not necessarily a bad thing.. And yet... What's this? She has somehow managed to take someone elses virginity, while remaining a virgin herself! :O If this person is 21, then she is very, very stupid. I'm HIGHLY tempted to message her and ask her how she managed this. Jesus. In fact, i'm going to. I need to know how she thinks this is possible.
Humanity gets just a little stupider every day.
Have you ever read some of the questions on Yahoo answers?? They're even worse, facepalms are in abundance.
I honestly believe that the human race is devolving. We will be back to apes in another million years or so. Or the world will be ruled by Asian's. Cuz, you know, if we're going by stereotypes, they're all super geniuses.

</rant>

Well, today was my first day at college. I admit, i was a little nervous, but it was nice to know that there would be people i know there. So, got up after 3 hours sleep (staying at Amz's night before college - bad XD), and that's the only sleep i've had in 3 days. So naturally i was like COFFEEEEEEEE!!! ...Then we missed the college bus lmao, so we had to get on a different one and lo! Who was on that bus? Only Ryan and Catrina. And Catrina and Elissa are on the same course as me and Amz, as are a couple of other people that i knew from high school, so that was a nice surprise. I was also surprised to discover that Dave, Danny, Gemma, Dennis and Miranda were all there too, so for me it was like a proper little reunion with a bunch of people i haven't seen in forever XD SO anyway. When we eventually got in to college, i was feeling ill. I know full well that i was just exhausted, and hungry, so i just ignored it and had a ham sandwich XD then we went and did all the boring induction stuff. Filling out forms, being bored, etc. Sheena is an amazing tutor, every hour she was like 'Coffee break i think!' XD mint. Then at dinner, Amz decided she was too ill to stay in college so she went home. I have to admit i was a bit pissed off at first, because i'd been feeling like death all day and i was just sticking with it, and because she just left that meant after we got let out of class i'd be stuck hanging around Wrexham for 2 hours on my bill. However, i'm me, so i didn't let it get me down long. I decided to make some new friends with some of my classmates instead, since i'm going to be spending most of my life with them from this day forwards XD So i started chatting to a few people when we went for a lecture with the principal, and they're all really nice and friendly, so that's good! THEN we had to show our summer projects around the class, which i was dreading XD Everyone was walking round looking at everyone elses stuff, and i kept hearing people bursting out laughing from over on my table D; See, in my sketchbook, i'd written a lot about my self, and it was all ranting madness and i'd thrown in a few jokes to make it a bit light hearted XD and everyone seemed to find it hilarious ¬____¬ so that was fun. THEN *breathes* ...Then it was time to leave because Sheena got bored so she sent us all off on our merry way XD and i met up with Danny and Ryan, and Danny introduced me to some people from HIS class, who were all lovely, and one of them looked like he should be a j-rocker XD mint. THEN i went and chilled with Dave for a bit, then i got on the bus with him since it stops near my house, only to find Chloe and Craig on it O; so MORE people that i know XD and i just got home to find the beardy sitting on the windowsill in a paper hat, so i have no idea what's going on XD

So all in all, despite a bad start, twas a good day, and i think i'm REALLY going to love college X3

</pointlessly long rant of doooooooom!>

LOL is all i can say to this:

//Beki-Mofo\\ "What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space?" XD says:
Ayeeee, well the new beardy arrived today, so eeeeeveryone's ecstatic, as can only be expected. Rex, his name is. Stupid name. If i had my way he'd be called Celtic.

Whimsical - Don't count your chickens before they eat everything... Wait... says:
Ahhh fantabulous dear. I hope he settles in well, mine got really temperamental when we first got him lmao o.o ...Celtic as in the Pred? Smooth. What's Tess's opinion on the new arrival?

//Beki-Mofo\\ "What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space?" XD says:
Ayee, Celtic the Pred, nom nom nom.  And naturally, Tess is pathetic so she's petrified of him. And Tiggy... Well, Tiggy's just Tiggy. You know. The look of squinty contempt.

Whimsical - Don't count your chickens before they eat everything... Wait... says:
But of course. Tiggy is a cat. Cat's hate everything that isn't Filet Mignon. With a side order of ALL UR BASE!!!


Honestly, words cannot describe how much i nearly died of heart failure at that moment XD truer words have never been spoken.

So yes, Rex le beardy arrived today, with a tub of locusts and a happy little grin on his lizardy face. Here's hoping he settles into this ever-expanding family well. New arrival numero dos will be my lovely little Royal python, who will hopefully be making an appearance some time before Halloween. Dear me.

Tess is now running round the house vibrating. She is either terrified or exciting, i can't tell. Stupid dog.

</spam>

So i've sort of hit a wall in life. You know? Everyone i know is going to uni and doing stuff, getting boyfriends, being all happy with life and the world, knowing what they want to do. I'm gonna be 20 next year, half way to 40, and i still have no clue who i am or what i want to be or how i want to live my life. I have no job, no boyfriend, no nothing. I'm going to college to do art, but in my heart i kinda know that's a mistake, it's not what i want to do as a career. Art is a personal thing for me, it always has been, i can't imagine myself being paid to do it, i'd feel like i was selling my soul or something.
In this country society considers me an adult. I'm allowed to have sex, have a kid if i want, start a family, get married, drink myself into oblivion in a bar, get a credit card and get myself thousands of pounds in debt, basically i can do what i want... But really, i feel like i'm still 12 years old.
So yeah i've pretty much hit another low. Maybe i'll turn into a wizard. That would sort of solve everything. Yeah.
I'm going to spend the last of my money on lottery tickets. Maybe if i win millions of pounds i won't have to worry about all this shit and i can just spend the rest of my life floating on a white lilo in a penis shaped swimming pool drinking Martini's and wondering whether to buy a parrot or a pony.
That would be cool.

</spam>

And, now that i'm sliding out of my warped state of mind that i was so enjoying, i just want to say congrats to everyone who got into what ever college/uni/job that they were aiming for, and you're all wonderful people who deserve every good thing you're getting <3

</morewtf>

You know how sometimes everything just feels totally surreal? Like the world has suddenly started warping and you can see the fractures and you feel like you can understand everything better, but at the same time you don't understand anything at all? It's like being completely stoned but you know you're not, like you're high on the people around you and everything feels wrong but right at the same time? I feel like i could just get up right now and run outside and scream in the street, make everyone think i'm crazy, but i know i'm not. I just feel... Detatched, like no matter what i do people will just keep going like normal. It's weird... I get like this sometimes, but it feels great. I wish i could feel like this all the time. It's better than alcohol, better than any kind of drug, i'm shaking all over and i want to laugh but there's nothing to laugh at, except me and my weird self. This is such a fantastic feeling, i wish i could share it with the whole world, i feel euphoric, i feel omniscient, i feel like i could do anything and there would be no reprocussions. And even if they were then it wouldn't matter. God this feels good, this feels like what i think heaven would feel like if i believed in it. I feel so spaced, yet so focused. So out of it, yet more in the loop than i've ever been. I love life, i love the world, it's such a crazy place, who cares what happens? I'm in looooooove with this world, i never want to leave this state of mind and go back to normal life, like i know i will tomorrow. Get up, eat, walk the dog, do my chores, all the boring mundane every day things that i do that make me feel like a human, but they're not the things that make me, it's this that makes me, this spontaneous thought and feeling, just letting it wash over me like a warm sea and forgetting about everything else, it's just me and billions of atoms and the earth and the sky.

If this is a dream, i never want to wake up.

</wtf>

Stole iiiiiit :D


You have to get a facia​l pierc​ing,​​​​ what do you get?
Lip or septum i think


What are you weari​ng?​​​​
PJs



Do you like seafo​od?​​​​
Some


Do you even try hard at schoo​l?​​​​
*cough*


Thing​s you did yeste​rday?​​
Got absolutely bladdereeeeeeed!!! Moreso than i already was... What else did i do? Saw Turisas, i think, did they play yesterday? I can't remember XD SAW EUROPE!!! WOOO FINAL COUNTDOWWWWWWWNNNNNN!!!!! ...And chilled. That's it XD



You are being​ extre​mely quiet​,​​​​ what does that mean?​​​​
I'm tired/really drunk/stoned/bored.


What is the weath​er like today​ ?
It was sunny at BOA, sunny but a bit cloudy once i got back to lovely old Wales.


When was the last time you were at a hospi​tal?​​​​
UMMMMM... Uh... I can't remember, i have to go a lot cuz of my dad so feh...



Can you play guita​r hero?​​​​
I can, but i'm shit at it XD


What is the last thing​ you did befor​e you went to bed last night​?​​​​
Watched Europe, got wasted, listened to Enigma, attempted to teach 3 very fucked people how to make a good rush bottle, had a rush bottle, drank some more, passed out :D


What are you doing​ right​ now?
This, clearly, and listening to some Turisas \m/


Is this year the best year of your life?​​​​
Hmmm... Could be, not sure XD

Do you have any stran​ge phobi​as?​​​​
MOTHS D;


Is it easie​r to forgi​ve or to forge​t?​​​​
Forgive and forget, who cares?


When was the last time you yelle​d at someo​ne?​​​​
Uuuuuh... dunno o.o



Do you like funny​ peopl​e or serio​us peopl​e?​​​​
Both, depending on the circumstances.


Will you cry at your high schoo​l or colle​ge gradu​ation​ ?
Not in le school anymore


Are you named​ after​ one of your grand​ paren​ts?​​​
Nope


Will you talk to the perso​n you like on the phone​ tonig​ht?​​​​
No :(


What are your plans​ for the weeke​nd?​​​
Chill, and miss Bloodstock to fuck D;


Are you sarca​stic?​​​​
Sometimes


What are you doing​ tomor​row?​​​​
Chilling, missing BOA.



Two days from now at this time,​​​​ where​ will you be:
In my room probs XD


Do you have a lot on your plate​ at the momen​t?​​​​
Nah, not really.


Are you a forgi​ving perso​n?​​​​
Yeah, i can hold a grudge like a motherfucker if i want to, but usually i'm all for forgive and forget, it's easier and makes life more fun in the long run XD


If you could​ move somew​here else,​​​​ would​ you?
If it was possible i would live at BOA all year round XD


Who was the last perso​n of the oppos​ite sex you had a conve​rsati​on with?​​​​
Vati


Did you do somet​hing bad today​?​​​​
Set fire to a tent, drank and smoked before 8am, stole 2 chairs and an umbrella from some random camp site, missed out on a big opportunity :(



Do you get stres​sed out easil​y?​​​​
Nah man, chillax!



Have you ever wante​d to tell someo​ne somet​hing but didn'​​​​ t?
Yes :(

Have you ever been taken​ to the emerg​ency room in an ambul​ance?​​​​
Yep


Somet​hing you wish you would​ have done this year but didn'​​​t?​​​
Yep, but i won't dwell on it, i'll just do it next year ;p


One wish,​​ what is it?
To live at BOA, next door to Ben and Hugh and Charlie and Rob and Wiggles and and the rest of the mentalists that i only ever see once a year at BOA but love just as much as the people i see every day.


Do you sleep​ with door open or close​d?​​​​
Closed

Did you go outsi​de for more than 30 minut​es today​?​​​​
Yeah man, i was outside from 7.35am until Skye picked us up at 2.30 :D


Ever kisse​d in the rain?​​​​
Yes :3


Do you have any caree​r ideas​ yet?
Um... No XD

How do you feel about​ chang​es?
Change is good (Y) ...But sometimes, i wish things could stay this way forever =/

By the way.

Bloodstock 2009: Fooking epic <3

Gonna miss it, gonna miss the booze, the smoking, the bands, the atmosphere, our wonderfully awesomely stoned tent neighbours the Skye's (lol), and everyone else D; See you all next year dudes and dudettes! 10th ANNIVERSARY ALL THE WAY, we're gonna spend a weekend getting fucked off our faces :D Roll on Wacken, Download and Bloodstock 2010!!!!! <3

</mostly festival related shit>

BLAAAAAAAAAAH. I feel reeeeeeeeally ill today. Fecking feck faced fecker. Grrr. I hate karma, or mother nature, or whatever it is that causes this stupidess, 2 DAYS before Bloodstock. As if!!! I'm going to feel like shit for the whole weekend now, GAH. So yay, great, i got lucky again, i'm not pregnant, but couldn't you have waited another week to inform me of that fact Mother. N? I really don't care, as long as i don't feel like a dead horse for Bloodstock, which i have been looking forward to since the day after Bloodstock LAST year D;  Right now, i wish i was a man =____= Grrrrrr *downs paracetamol and tea*  Bloodstock has just been one disaster after another this year, i wouldn't be surprised if i end up coming back in a body bag, it would be a perfect end to what has so far been one massive cock up ¬____¬

*bad mood* (just incase you hadn't noticed)

</rant>

I'm getting the kitten soooooon! We're not getting a siamese anymore, too expensive... Plus a friends cat has just had kittens and she's giving them away, so we're getting a little ginger tabby X3  My brother is also getting a pair of bearded dragons, and i'm getting a ball python after bloodstock!!!! :D we're going to have a house full XD a cat, a kitten, a dog, 2 roborovski hamsters, 2 bearded dragons and a ball python! X3 excitement!!!

</animal related spam>

Weeeell... Diary entry methinks!
My parents are ferrying off to France on Thursday with my brother to go and stay in my uncles summer home, so i'm getting left all on my lonesome AGAIN. It's by choice, i hate France... But i get lonely, even though i spend 90% of my time on my own anyway, it's nice to know that there's someone there for you to harass even when you're by yourself XD Oh well.
Went round to Roo's today, which was nice, since we haven't seen eachother in so long. It's weird, me and Roo were really close friends all through primary school, but once we both went to highschool we just drifted apart... And now we're back together again and nothing has really changed, we're still the same crazy kids deep down... But at the same time, we've both changed so much, it's nice though =3 thinking about it, i'm 20 next year... It will be so nice to still be friends with someone i've known since i was 5 when i hit the big two-oh :D yup, next December me and Roo will have known eachother 15 YEARS! That's a very long time to have known one person XD
Nothing else of worth to say really.. I've been on my own alot lately sooo i've been doing a lot of art work... Which is good, since i'm off to college in September to do nothing BUT art XD And i have also developed an unnatural obsession with sharks o.o so expect some sharky artwork coming up XD
That's all i have to say i think... OH! 24 days to go till Bloodstock! I'm excited X3

That is all.

</spam>