Dum de dum ^___^ Just put the Christmas tree up so i feel very festive now ^___^ Aaaah, i'm in a good mood, but i'm also totally nackered out and i feel ill... I'm not sure why i'm feeling so tired and run down lately... Must be the end-of-term fever again XD aaah well...

I don't really have anything useful to say... I got the night off work so i'm going to spend it RELAXING... Might go and have a bath... No, i'll probably fall asleep and drown myself XD

That is all.

</ramble>

Weeeell, i just watched the Exorcist... On scare-factor, it was a big dissapointment.. For 'the scariest movie of all time', it wasn't really that scary at all... In fact, it just wasn't scary. At not point in the film did i feel the need to hide behind a pillow or anything like that... So yeah, it wasn't as scary as i had hoped, but it wins in my book on comedy value XD I thought it was hilarious, because when it was released it was really shocking and everyone was like "*shock-horror* O___O can they do that??" ...but now it's just funny. Well i thought it was funny o___O;; I mean obviously there were bits of it that were mildly scary, but most of the bits with the 'demon' or whatever in it were just funny... It got to the point where it just wasn't believable anymore, and that's where it loses scary-ness for me... I dunno... If i can believe something is happening, then i'll be scared of it... The highlight of the film for me was when 'Pazuzu' was talking to the priest guy, and he said 'La plume de ma tante', because now i finally know where it came from, how to spell it and what it means XD XD XD *victory dance* it's taken me about 6 months to figure it out XD XD XD other than that... Yeah, not scary, but definately worth watching (Y)

What else did i want to say? Dad's been ill(er), so has mum and bruder.. So i'm next i suppose... Erm... I've been so bloody busy this weekend i haven't had time for anything other than psychology and the occasional art thingy.. Guh.. And tomorrow i'm working until 10 *dies* ..I think i'm going to have a word with Jenny about cutting my hours down, i can so see myself dying from stress if i don't.. Seriously, they're expecting me to work the whole day on boxing day.. Do they have any idea how fucked i will be after my family's Christmas party? XD So yeah, i'm going to cut down my work hours lest i die from stuff overload... If i carried on at work the way i am, i'd be working monday tuesday and thursday straight after school until 10, and then gym on wednesday and friday and 9-5 at work every other weekend.. So basically i'd have 1 weekend a fortnight to myself, and all that would be spent doing schoolwork... Some people can handle that kind of thing, i CAN'T. I'm lazy. Very very lazy. But also easily stressed. Me + no me-time = nuclear explosion of temper. Seriously, i would end up having the worst temper-explosion the world has ever seen XD

So... Now i must go and see if i can scrape together a decent amount of work for AO3 to keep my art teacher happy... I have barely anything and i'm not sure what i've been doing with my time other than rushing about worrying about this and that o_O somehow i've managed to waste the last few weeks... Gah, slow down clock, i need time XD

That is all.

</ramble>

My birthday party was AAAACE!!!! I am so effing tired now, so i'll rant about it tomorrow...

One thing i will say, Beowulf is the most sex-obsessed anti-christian film i've seen in a while o___O and it was definately not a 12a XD

That is all.

</short ramble>

Zomg... I've just been at my Grans and.. Omg! While i was out, 'some bloke' came over and dropped off a present for me. Turns out it was my birthday present from James. He's got me this really nice necklace with black and white crystals, two bracelets, a ring and a headband and they all match with the black and white crystals... I was like O____O how much did this bloody well cost?? Cuz it doesn't look cheap or anything, it's all really nice.. I hope he hasn't spent too much.. But still X3 squee! Birthday presents! X3

That's all i had to say really..

</ramble>

Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh O___O Work was sooo tiring DX ...It wasn't half as bad as i was expecting though. I'm working with this girl Courtney and she's really nice so at least i have someone to talk too! Erm... I can't actually be arsed yattering all that much, i'm too tired... Bed in a minute i think!

Oh, i didn't get on the Japanese exchange.. But Sinead didn't either, so i don't mind XD I'm going to Japan with a few friends for my 18th anyway, and i don't want to miss BOA next year! So it's all good... I shall have to congratulate the one guy from our school who got through.. Sam i think his name was...

One other thing i have noticed recently. I am a compulsive theif. I can't help it! I see something, i pick it up and take it without even realising i'm doing it. I noticed it the other day when i was walking down the corridor and i saw this person made out of carboard lying there (it was one of the art projects or something) and i just automatically picked it up and tried to walk off with it XD I was also sitting in work today (i work on the jewellry counter and tobacco kiosk) and i was there thinking "I wonder if i could get away with stealing that box of tobacco.." <_< >_> the box was worth like £50 because Macro sells everything in bulk, so i mentally slapped myself for even thinking of pinching it and selling it at school XD Is there a name for compulsive thievs? There should be... I'm going to have to get it under control Xd

That's all i have to say, turrah.

</ramble>

I've just discovered that if you eat chocolate syrup crispy cakes and drink blackcurrent juice, it tastes like roast chicken. Yeah.

That is my nugget of useless information for the day. I bid you farewell.

</short ramble>

I'm bored ¬___¬ Got nothing to do... And my back is really really hurting again, for no good reason... Jenny hasn't phoned so i have no idea when i'm working tomorrow... BAH. I can't concentrate on anything right now because of my back... I'm just going to give up on this ramble..

</ramble>

Rofl, i've just noticed that my hotmail account is counting down 'till my birthday o_O 7 days to go! *excited for no reason*

Aaah, i had a good day today. Went over to [Pinup_princess] house with Josh so we could dye his hair. It's PINK. Not just pink. PINK. Bright bright bright luminous pink at the front, and black at the back. It actually looks really cool, which surprised me as i was expecting him to look a complete pillock. It does actually suit him, which is worrying XD He had alcohol, so we got nice and mellow, then decided to go to Tesco and get noodles and chocolate fingers XD ...So yeah we pigged out on chocolate and cider, so i DEFINATELY need to go to the gym next week (so much for giving up alcohol aswell <_< >_> aah well, i didn't drink too much, just two cans, so i'm ok...) but... All in all i had a good day, it was fun!

I'll tell you what though, Mold is absolutely CRAWLING with old people on weekdays! I've never noticed before, but i felt like i was in a zombie film or something! It was so weird, with them all lumbering and dragging themselves along the streets, moaning and mumbling.. Ok, i'm exaggerating slightly, but still! I never knew there were so many of them in Mold XD

Anyway, that's enough talking... I'm off to simstard or something! Turrah!

</ramble>

ONE MORE THING!!!!!

My brother asked me what a virgin is today.

I told him it's a company that makes phones, trains and over-priced cinema's.

He dropped the subject after that luckily.

Gah, curious 9 year olds... He'll be asking me about sex next >__<

</diary whoring>

Grrr, i really hate my mum sometimes... I just heard her talking to my brother about me, and she was being deliberately loud going 'I just hate her, i can't be bothered with her anymore, she does nothing." ..That really upset me since i've been trying really hard recently to get stuff done... I sorted out my christmas shopping and got a bunch of psychology coursework in to Mr. Rhind... I've been talking to Miss. Batten about what i should be doing to improve and on top of that i've got a job that pays really well... But once again it's just not good enough for her... I'm always going to be a failure in her eyes, no matter what i bloody well do...

But. I'm not going to let it get me down. If she doesn't like me, or she thinks i'm not going to achieve anything in life, then fine let her think that. I give up with her anyway, she can just sod off now. I'm making my own money so i dont need to rely on her anymore. I can strike out on my own a bit more. I know that if i start thinking on things too much like i used to, i'll just end up getting depressed again. And i'm not going back into counselling, that's the last thing i need on top of everything else. So i will smile, and i'll carry on, because no matter how hard things are now they're probably only going to get harder XD I've fallen out of the baby-pool and into the real world i think... Growing up and all that... But i'm enjoying it. Admittedly work from 6th form is stressful, but not so much so that it's getting me down. Just enough to nacker me out a bit. Me and Josh are actually ok at the moment and i dont feel like i want to murder him or break up with him. And he's not talking about having kids anymore XD that was just scary.. I'm going to dye his hair pink tomorrow, which should be amusing XD aaaand everyone at work is really nice so i think im going to enjoy that. School is fine i suppose... The only real problem i have is home life, but i'm going to be spending so little time at home now it doesn't matter! (Y)

So i'm 8/10 on the feel-good scale and feeling unusually cheerful for this time of night and year (i normally get massively depressed and bah-humbug during december XD). Now... I think an early night will benefit me since i'm working from 8 'till 4 on saturday and sunday *and death*... glad i've got a study day tomorrow, i can have a lie in! Tweet! I feel like writing a story now... Bah, i'll leave it until some time next week. Must sleep now. Tea, then sleep. Tea solves all problems. BAI!!! <3

Oh one more thing. Walker left school today because he's been kicked out. I shocked myself with how upset i was... I suppose i spend a hell of alot of time with him now i'm in 6th, because i spend most of my frees with him and we've become really close... I was nearly crying when he went, i'm not sure why it got to me so much... Ah well, he promised he'd come in and visit every now and then, and there's no way i'm losing touch with him! He gives good hugs! XD Now i'm leaving! XD

</ramble>

I got the job!!! WOOO!!! I'm working on the jewelerry counter in Makro as of tomorrow X3 I have to go to my induction tomorrow straight after school (which means getting the school bus home *grumbles*) so i'll have to give the gym a miss... Oh well, it doesn't matter, i might get a bus into mold on Friday and go to the gym then... I really need to go this week so.... Yeah, i think i'll do that. But yay! JOB! Now i will have money X3 I work quite late though and on a monday, tuesday and thursday from 4:30 till 10, so i wont be on here as much... i also work every other weekend. Soo... Less free time i suppose, but it's ok. I have too much free time anyway XD

Yay, happy now X3

</ramble>

AAAAARGH!!!! Job interview today and i am so effing nervous it's unreal >___< I have to try and stay calm, at the end of the day it's only an interview and if i dont get the job then... There'll be other interviews!!! XD That doesn't stop me being shit-your-pants nervous though... AAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!! *dies*

Apparently they do a little maths test aswell, which i am bricking it about, because anyone who knows me knows that i'm bad under any kind of pressure at all, and i'm likely to panic and why the fuck is my mouse cursor edging it's way up the bloody screen?! AGH!!!!

Anyway i have to go and get ready now... WISH ME LUCK!!! *crosses fingers*

</ramble>

*snort* another amusing webcam moment with Emily.

Me: *absent mindedly clicking toes* (it's a bad habit of mine)
Em: ...You have really crunchy toes.
Me: I do!

XD XD Just the way she said 'crunchy toes' with a really dodgy accent XD XD XD ...Well it amused me <_< >_>

Anyway i need to get some sleep now. I have a job interview tomorrow which i am insanely nervous about and i need to be semi awake for it. It's also ninja day so i need to dress up like a ninja XD 

</short pointless ramble>

I've been put through to the interview stage for the Japanese exchange!!!! I am like, mega hyper about it, and i just read Alex's diary and she's through too!!!!! It would be so awesome if we got to go together X3
Also, i got a job interview at Macro today! It's tomorrow at 2 so i have to miss half of school, but i dont care because... SQUEEL!!! Job interview, Japan interview... It's all happening! X3

Nothing else to say really, i'm off to simstard! Toodles! <3

</ramble>

Just want to say that i hate the Sims2 and everything related to it.

I have become totally addicted to it today because i had nothing else to do while suffering on my own here at home (oh woe!)... So i decided to start a new 'legacy' since my old one got eaten by the computer. Then i got obsessed with them having kids because they kept coming out so pretty, and now i have a ridiculously large family tree and 5 pregnant teenagers, 2 of whom are male. I wish life was really like TS2, it'd be so much more interesting XD

My bloody rar un-packer has gone on the fritz though... It's refusing to accept the horse meshes i'm trying to install and just being generally retarded about new skin tones, which are apparently not acceptable!!!! LIKE THE BUSHES!!! (once again, you had to be there). I hate these bloody things... You download it for one reason, one purpose and it can't even bloody well manage that... Why? Why is it not working this time around? Oh go die in a fire you stupid rar un-packer, i'll bloody well do it myself next time </tantrum>

Aaaanyway. I feel better now so i think i'll head into school tomorrow. If i catch the bus. If i miss it, i'll be like 'blah' but probably go anyway... Whatever... I'm not amazingly fussed at the moment anyway, i feel like i deserve a holiday XD

Zomg, sunday night though... I was up late because i wasn't feeling well and couldn't sleep, so i was talking to Em on webcam (as is the norm when i can't sleep. She always makes me laugh. I wish she lived nearer >___<)

Me: Have you ever done one of those stupid 'soundtrack to your life' surveys...
Em: Ya, they're always crap with me!
Me: Yeah i'm reading through my old ones and... I'm going to be killed by three little birds.
Em: I LIKE TO EAT CELTIC KITTENS!! 8D (<<She pulled that exact face, it was hilarious)
Me: O____O!!!!!!
Em: ...Apparently.

Aaah that made me lol so much... And now i really want to do another soundtrack to my life thing... Dammit. I'm going to bed though, i'm really tired and i still feel ill, so i need reeeeeeest and relaxaaaaaaaaation. Yes.

</ramble>

Bluuuh... I still feel really really crap... I've taken about 50-million different types of medicine to try and get rid of Crusher, the sicky-icky-ness, and my back pain which has decided to flair up again for no good reason... (Crusher is the killer headache, btw XD)... Baaaaah, i feel like such a druggie, but i suppose it's my own fault for being such a moron and ignoring everything my physio and the nurse have been telling me... I'm particularly worried about my back, because my physio did say that it would start to get bad if i didn't stretch it enough, which i really haven't been... He told me to swim at least once a week and do some other forms of exercise, which i just haven't been. And in the winter the pain gets worse anyway... *growl*... I'm not in school, i just didn't feel up to it. So i'm sitting here getting psychology and english coursework done, because i might aswell do something academic while i'm sitting here like a turd... 
I've decided that i don't care what everyone else is doing and what parties i'm being invited too, i'm going to stop drinking for a while. It's becoming an addiction, and i'm 16 nearly 17... That's just stupid. It wasn't so much the throwing up and being ill that triggered this want to be T-total, but more the fact that i was surprised that i got drunk off 6 cans of cider, 2 cans of beer and half a bottle of wine. Normally that wouldn't be enough to get me drunk, and that's the sad thing... It takes so much to get me properly drunk now that it's made me realise that i've been drinking waaaay too much for someone my age. A few beers and an alcopop should be enough to get a 16 year old a bit tipsy in all honesty... At James's party it took 8 ciders, 2 beers, 5 shots of Russian vodka and half a bottle of JD before i was oficially 'wankered' (ie - i couldn't walk straight and i was slurring everything i said). Now that amount of alcohol should have knocked me out, but it didn't... And the only reason i can think of is because i drink so much that i'm starting to develop a tolerance for it. And that's bad. So i'm giving up drinking and smoking. Normally i only smoke at parties or when i'm bored, but it's not going to do anything good for me, so i'm stopping before i get addicted to that too.

THERE! I have had a long rant and realised that i'm actually a bit of an alcoholic... And i will now attempt to go T-total, which will be hard because i normally drink at least 1 glass of cider a day... Blah. This is my own personal rehab XD in future i shall only drink small amounts at parties and large amounts at festivals. That is my vow. And i will stick to it. For once.

</mainly alcohol orientated ramble>

I just had a nap in mutti's bed, cuz she's got an electric blanket XD I don't feel as crap now as i did, so that's good. Contemplating whether or not i can be arsed going to school tomorrow... I'll see how i feel in the morning.

Currently re-modding and hacking the Sims2, because Alex bought it on saturday so i now feel the need to simstard again X3 ...I can't believe how long it's taking me to re-mod it all, i didn't realise how hacked to pieces my original game was XD Finding all the downloads again is utter hell, seriously =___= I've got all my bodyshop meshes re-downloaded, i just need recolours now... Then onto clothes, buildings, global mods, customs and hacks *dies* this is going to take forever... *headdesk*

Erm... What else did i want to say? There was something... Can't remember for the life of me now so i'll say it later when i remember...

</spam>

Uuuuugh... Bleh. Yeah. That pretty much describes how i feel... I ignored what the nurse said and i went to Tanzyn's party anyway. I felt a bit ill when we got there but i thought i'd be fune... I was fine for a while, i didn't drink too much... I'm not quite sure what it was but at about 12 i just collapsed and ended up sitting upstairs for an hour with my head in the bowl... Not nice. I'd only drank about 6 cans of cider, 2 cans of beer and half a bottle of wine, which anyone who knows me will know isn't enough to get me completely wasted... I've never ever thrown up from drinking, not even at bloodstock and i had more alcohol in my system than blood there... So i think i was throwing up more because i was ill anyway and drinking on a pretty much empty stomach... Whatever... I'm still glad i went coz we had a laugh when i came round from my state of complete KO. Amz was snoring and she sounded like a whistle at one point, it was really amusing. And some of the conversations i was having with people were hilarious. So all in all, whether i was ill or not, i had a good time and i'm glad i went!

I'm going to bed now before i die.

</ramble>

I feel extremely ill... Why is my body doing this to me? I'm going into Chester today and going to Tanz's party tonight... But if this carries on i doubt i'll be able to do either... Yah, i decided i would go to Tanz's, because i've had a good nights sleep and i'm not as tired and grumpy as i was. Buuut, right at this moment i just want to take a bunch of painkillers and go back to bed... I hate my stupid brain, or whatever it is that's making me ill... Couldn't it have done this tomorrow when i don't have to go somewhere?! *grumbles* Well it's got an hour to sort itself out before i have to get the bus into Mold, so hopefully some miracle will happen between now and then... If not then i will throw the biggest temper tantrum the world has ever seen. There will be deaths.

</grumpy ramble>

Argh, biiiig cliffhanger in the Nartuo manga this week >___< *dies* and poor Jiraiya! After everything he did... Aww =[ Buuut the old Pein is back, so i'm happy =3

Once again, i will rant about Manchester and London later... I'm on the downstairs computer now and i hate the keyboard... I just need to transfer some files over to the other computer...

</short ramble>

One more thing.



LOL!!!!!!!!

I founds it on DA.. Who did it... Grau-Gestreift over on DA! Yeah.

That's really all i have to say.