I occured to me today that this year is a very significant year for me. I'm nineteen years old. It's my very last year being a teenager. After this year, i will turn TWENTY and never have the oppertunity to be a teenager again. This thought made me quite sad actually, as i do enjoy being a teenager, and being able to act the fool...however, my childish days are almost over, and soon im going to have to start acting like a responsible adult whatever one of those is. So i'm starting now. I'm going to stop being silly and soppy over this Aiden thing, and take responsibility for it. I'm going over there, and im going to force him to listen to my side. If he still doesn't want to be with me, then i will just pick myself up and move on, like the responsible adult that i almost am. I hate to have to grow up, but it was inevitable...today i wave goodbye to the childish me, and start to welcome...the dreaded thing...

ADULTHOOD.

Homophobics suck ass *kicks them*

[*"I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
*I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
*I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
*We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
*I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
*I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I
wish they could adopt me.
*I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
*I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
*We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
*I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
*I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
*I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
*I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
*I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
*I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
*I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
*I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
*I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
*I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.



repost this if you belive homophobia is wrong"]

Things really aren't getting any better with Aiden...ok, that's an understatement...he's just refusing to talk to ANYONE... Jose included, even though Jose is like his best friend...I don't know what to do about him now, but i'm just going to try and carry on as normal, going to work and stuff...maybe he'll sort himself out and get over it, maybe he won't, but i've realised now (thanks to lots of persuasive-ness from [Beki in Wonderland]) That i'm not the one to blame, and that it's Aiden's belief that he is practically a God, and that absolutely nothing can possibly be wrong with him. So yeah, my friends have cheered me up alot, so thanks guys *hugs*

*sigh* really bad day today...i've had a huge row with my fiance Aiden, and he walked out of the house. As far as we know he's gone to stay with Macky and Kyle down the street, and he doesn't intend on coming home any time soon. You don't need to know what the argument's about, but he took off his engagement ring and threw it at me before storming out of the house... ;_; ...am i over reacting? Am i doing a Bianca? Or should i really be worried? I know Aiden has a temper, but he's never done anything like this. Jose tried to give him the engagement ring back and he just slammed the door in his face. I don't know what to do, and it's breaking my heart just to think about not being with Aiden anymore...I know i sound soppy and hopeless, but i really don't think i can cope without him...What should i do? Anyone have any ideas, coz i'm out now...Sorry that you all have to put up with my moaning, but i needed to let it out somewhere, and Jose's been so patient and listened to me and stuff. I'm glad i have friends like him... I hope Aiden comes home...i hope he can forgive me, and understand why i did what i did...i don't think he knows just how much i love him...and ive tried telling him, but at the moment he's just not in a listening mood...i feel so helpless...

Everyone's being bossy at the moment! Beki just informed me of her and alex's yelling match with a bunch of midgets, and i had a rather bossy episode today, which is

so

Yeshm, im prolly not gonna be online much for the next week coz im moving to California and we've got a hell of a lot of stuff to do...i'll prolly be on for a few minutes each day, just to check my messages, but if im not, then it's not my fault if i dont reply to you until this time next week! When everything is normalised again, i'll come on and make up for any un-replied to messages ^_^ bye bye all who know me, i'll talk to y'all soon xxxxxx

Wheee, it's my biiiirthday!!!!!! w00t! 19 already...dear god im getting old :( oh well, thankies to all those people who've wished me happy birthday today, it means alot <333 luff you all! xxxxxx