basicaly im going to rant about my life until i can stop...so if you dont want to read a very depressed ish verson of my life.. dont read any farther...

OK, i just found out that my father has a major health issue we dont really understand what it is yet, but its effecting him. he thinks that its carbon mininoxide poisoning... but we're not certain.
then he drinks almost as much as an alcoholic.. which actually... i think he is...and now my mother is turning into one as well.. shes not handling this whole devorce thingy with my step dad at all! she is now making me do EVERYTHING in the house, while she sits around drinking wine. i even have to take care of my evil sister, which i might add, i hate her guts cuz shes a changling.... (if you dont know what that is look it up for your sake, not mine). next my school work isnt really improving, which makes my mother's out look and attitude towards me decrease each time we look at each other. we've been in more than 5 fights just last week (not to mention the weekend). then my friends want to help... but its not really helping me because (or so one of my friends have told me) only i can change and help myself. my friends can only be suportive... is suport really what i need right now? or is it mental help? im seeing and hearing things that arnt normal and what? this makes me insane!? i've been told that im looking for a way of life.. something that i can look forward too, something that i can do with my life, to make me belong to help out to feel like i am needed! thats why i help out as much as possible, you ask something of me and i try not to say no cuz i know that if i do then im just letting you down. i know big weakness there, but good thing i have friendst that dont take advantage of me like my step dad did...

If you have read this far.. i thank you with all of my heart.. e.e that up there is a lot of reading and i know that i normallly dont rant much... or tell a lot of myself, but this is my heart.. dont hurt it! anyhoo, yeah im emo~ing all over the place again... and i promised myself that i wouldnt do that.....anyhoo shutting up now....

everyone at school is freaking out and i dont how to help...grrrr....its driving me crazy!!!!

another boring day in dullsville....more of the kicking,screaming,throwing,and hitting but not to much of me being there during it all.hell do ppl even read these? its like you talkn to yourself....i dont need that im already crazy....anyways its about 1:00ish here and i havent slept n almost 4 days....have you ever heard of a war going on right now? no not the war in iraq...a different war, one we cant see but feel,one we cant comprehind yet understand completly. i've known about it...but need more info about it...if only others knew....

hi...normal day today...boring as always but its always boring here...havent slept in like 3 days but im still kick'ni had sometype of pill....lol i dont really remember what it was but...it made me so loopy...well i gtg and clean...

hehehe...found out that one of my best friends likes me and thinks im sexy...what a shocker...to many ppl like me...well todays as boring as eversnow is the deviland its way to cold outside...oh and pirates of the carrabian comes out today!WOOT WOOT!and i found out alot about eargon the movie....nerd moment...well i gtg

umm...what to tell about ...im at my dad's house and im so bored its as fun as a pile of shit... and of course and screaming, throwing, and beatingbut...somethings help me to forget...mostly...all is well in hell, and all is fair in love and war...

this is the frist diary entry so im just checkn it out... about my life....all good and boreing as always...family...hate 'em....friends...to much drama...but i guess i have my thoughts to myself....no wait...there against me too...oh well. i guess we must live on.