I'm having the week from Hell. I haven't slept for more than four hours a night for 5 days. I'm exhausted and sleep deprived. I'm also sick, because I have over 130 allergic bedbug bites on my body. If you don't know what bedbugs are,
they are small, they are many, for me, every bite swells up, and itches like a mousquito bite. They itch horribly for like 5 days.
One hundred and thirty. There has been that many for over two weeks.
I'm busting out in hives. It's so bad I have to wear long sleeve shirts while I job hunt. All day. On foot. In July in Florida. In 90 degree, 100% humidity weather.
I screamed at my house manager yesterday. And this subhuman cocksucker threatened to make me homeless for "Backtalking."
I don't have a choice but to live in these unsanitary, unsafe, insane conditions for the next two weeks until I can move or be homeless.
So I not only must suffer, I must suffer with a smile or be homeless.
Ha! More diary spam! You punks don't read them anyway, so no whining! :O though if you did you'd learn something!
"Oh, I'm giving up the one I love
I'll conduct the Great Disaster
To scar my skin to all this hurt
They offered their hearts, and we tore them apart
They offered their blood, and we left them so parched
I don't know if I can give you anything you want...
Go on and give me the gun!
Never mind what I've done
They left me no choice. No they left me no choice
Go on and give me the gun!
Let me blow them open
It's out of my reach. Nevermind what they think about me
Oh, I don't wanna say
That with mercy we decay
Converging closer and faster
Does all I touch turn to dust?
And she confessed her love
Only I shut her up
I took all her words and allowed them to rust
I don't know if I'm the man you truly want to love
Go on and give me the gun!
Nevermind what I've done
They left me no choice, no they left me no choice
Go on and give me the gun!
Let me blow them open
It's out of my reach. Nevermind what they think about me!
Little have they learned anything about me
Living eyes that judge mistakes
With all the things they say
When backs are turned and no one's looking
Go on and give me the gun!
Nevermind what I've done
They left me no choice, no they left me no choice
Go on and give me the gun!
Let me blow them open
It's out of my reach. Nevermind what they think about me!
Ooh in this Shattered Symphony! Shattered, tattered, dead
Go on and give me the gun!"
"She wheezes out her dying wish
Come closer-- One more moment, one more kiss
And I love her, I give her all I can
Her body sinks, her heat released
The curtain swings, this time she leaves
I will remember, all she's done for me
But only I forgot-- That I'm not
Ready to let her go
As all time moves... You'll be riddled with doubt
You'll mourn to pull through
But love is dangerous
When skeletons live
Inside your closets thick and thin
You'll fear that no one will hear us sing our songs
The truth is relevant but not for long
Because love is our downfall
I'm sorry! This life cuts
Out everything, leaves you to scrounge for nothing
Give us the Monstar!
There's no chance to try and mend
What's been broken can't be bent
So the past remains the past until present
The cradle sways this black disguise
This coffin breathes our time's demise
Only these shackles know just how long I've grieved
I made my move--With no worry of doubt
Let them live as they do
My eternal reminder
When skeletons live
Inside your closets thick and thin
You'll fear that no one will hear us sing our songs
The truth is relevant but not for long
Because love is our downfall
I'm sorry but the hurt's not going away
I'll bury all the past, everything in it's place
Give us the Monstar!
When skeletons live
Inside your closets thick and thin
You'll fear that no one will hear
I'm sorry! This life cuts
Out everything, leaves you to scrounge for nothing
Give us the Monstar!
Cuts out everything, leaves you to scrounge for nothing
Give us the Monstar!
Cuts out everything, leaves you to scrounge for nothing
Give us the Monstar!"
*Sees if Nionel knows this one...*
"
It was daylight when you woke up in your ditch
You looked up at your sky
that made blue be your color
You had your knife with you there too
When you stood up there was goo all over your clothes
Your hands were sticky
You wiped them on your grass
So now your color was green
Oh Lord, why did everything always have to keep changing like this?
You were already getting nervous again.
Your head hurt and it rang when you stood up
Your head was almost empty,
it always hurt you when you woke up like this
You crawled up out of your ditch unto your gravel road
and you began to walk and waited for the rest of your mind to come back to you
You could see the car parked far down the road and you walked toward it
"If God is our father," you thought,
"then Satan must be our cousin."
Why didn't anyone else understand these important things?
When you got to your car
you tried all the doors but they were locked
Ir was a red car and it was new
There was an expensive leather camera case lying on the seat
Out across your field
You could see two tiny people walking by your woods
You began to walk towards them
Now red was your color and of course,
Those little people out there were yours too"
"These are the days--The End complete
A world still turning to the sound of the Suffering
You are the Jury, we are the saints
Our minds divide--The past repeats
A war still brewing in the hearts of those we once bled
I am the Crowing, the living dead
Dig deeper! Remember
All that you've been and all you've left behind
Wave goodbye, my dear
Dig deeper! Remember
All that you've been and all you've left behind
Welcome home, my dear
No words to say--The worst displayed
What once was courage is now cursed in the hurt we've made
We are the sinners before our graves
Now leave in peace--The dead unsaved
The world still turning towards the End complete
Now spite me Jury, we've come for change!
Dig deeper! Remember
All that you've been and all you've left behind
Wave goodbye, my dear
Dig deeper! Remember
All that you've been and all you've left behind
Welcome home, my dear
Momma, I'm living proof that never
Is just around the corner
A ghost to walk the End designed for you and I
No one will ever know the truth. No one will ever know
We are the fate of Heaven
The call of justice!
We are now waiting
While you wish us away with your plans and pray deliverance
This is no safe haven!
GOD He will not save you
IS NOT He will not save you
HERE! He will not save you from this!
You've been stealing my lines
Now go on living your lies
For on your knees you will find
You'll face a Jury in Hell!
We are the fate of killers
The call of justice!
We are now waiting
While you wish us away with your prayers for deliverance
Won't save your soul from Satan
GOD He will not save you
IS NOT He will not save you
HERE! He will not save you from this!
You've been stealing my lines
Now go on living your lies
For on your knees you will find
You'll face a Jury in Hell
Dig deeper! Remember
All that you've been and all you've left behind
Wave goodbye, my dear
Dig deeper! Remember
All that you've been and all you've left behind
Welcome home, my dear
You were the magic that turned a curse in time
You were the beauty that we had to leave behind
Oh no, no, bye bye
Bye bye!
....
We're going to get you my love
Oh no, let your Rabbit go run
We're going to get you
I can feel it in the way your blood and heart beats
My body's cold and it thinks that I'm already gone
Or is it in the way your body moves?
I'd like to tell you, but I think that you already know
The words I drag out from your mouth speak
Listen up, world! Listen up, world!
In her vision I have given company
I see no evil in leading their bodies from home
Believer you'll leave her in leaving them all
No, but I don't buy it!
Like anything you do, as anyone you are
Ten Speed if I must, then I must!
Believer you'll leave her in leaving them all
No, I just don't buy it
Like anything you do, as anyone you are
If written wrote me even chance and choice to save you
Oh, I wouldn't answer if it even had to ask
In her figure I've instilled a taste of my own!
Listen up, world! Listen up, world!
To make it easier to take what life I'm owed
As the curse has returned from the hell of your heart
And your soul
Believer you'll leave her in leaving them all
No, but I don't buy it!
As anything you do, as anyone you are
Ten Speed if I must then I must!
Believer you'll leave her in leaving them all
No, I just don't buy it
Like anything you do, as anyone you are
Nobody knows but you
Because I don't wanna ride tonight
No I don't wanna go
I don't wanna ride tonight
Nobody knows but you
No baby, I don't wanna go
So are you going to kill her off?
No, I love her character, she stays.
Yeah, well, the only thing love's done is put you in this position. I say kill her off!
Oh yeah? Well you say a lot of things. And how's that work? You're a bicycle.
Believer you'll leave her in leaving them all
No, but I don't buy it!
Like anything you do, as anyone you are
Ten Speed if I must, then I must!
Believer you'll leave her in leaving them all
No, I just don't buy it
Like anything you do, as anyone you are
Because I'm Ten Speed of God's blood and burial!
"Is this what I wish for those and all they know
Could they depend on how cowardly I should act?
From hell they shall crumble within!
If she won't give me the love I came here for
With pen, I am armed here to react!
Hey now what is it boy?
With all these things that trouble you
So visit your mirror image of what might have once behaved
Hey now what is it boy?
Oh I won't rest, till dead, till dead do you part!
Now this is how I feel my God from what's been dealt
The flies that flutter fight tonight
From hell they will crumble within
Is this love that I'm feeling? Or is it hate, the same?
The emotion is enough to kill the sane
Hey now, what is it boy?
All these things that trouble you
So visit your mirror image of what might have once behaved
Hey now, what is it boy?
I only hope you know that I love you!
No, you don't! Don't!
Feed little maggots off the westside of your sin
Run little maggot until they learn of what you did!
Feliz la vida que hora! Feliz la vida que hora!
To my creation:
From start to finish--I've made you feel this
Uncomfort in turn
With the world you've learned
To love through this hate--To live with it's weight
A burden discerned
In the blood you taste
In reply:
But why would you deny me answers?
If I'm just a boy on the break of being
Honored in hell through it's fires?
Together:
Be brutally honest was it better before me?
The curve of her body...
How I want it, how I want her with me
The truth of the story
The Vishual I wish you all!
The better end of all to come!
The truths be now here, one by one
I am, to you, extended to none
But the memory to fuel the fire!
Watching his tale, with the world he unfolds
Concious and cold, they'll never know
They scream as he laughs off the dust from his eyes
These worlds will now learn of the dreams in his mind
To myself:
Could this be that hard for me?
To cofigure a new love in pain?
To my new entity? Or banish it home to the grave?
No one is safe
In reply:
With the quickness strike out
For the less of us doubt
We're at the mercy of the god who put the pen in our mouth
Will the word write this well,
signed "Forgiveness for sale"
I'm full of all the might you want killed!
The fiction will see through real
The answer will question still
To my creation:
Turn your body to blood, as your parents once went
You will follow their lead, one by one every step
To myself:
Could this be that hard for me?
To configure a new love in vain?
To my new entity? Or banish it home to the grave?
I will not save your world.
To the end with him!"
"Great peril awaits us
Beyond the Black River
Summoned by the beating of drums
Our number is few
Our errand is dire
We do what must be done
At the bidding of the high priest
The tribes gather for war
Evil sorcery is unleashed
Upon the opposite shore
Make your stand with the Great Hound
The frontier is lost!
Black waters lie before you
Together you cross
Take heart!
Do not fear!
When you know
Your death nears
We shall build you a cairn
Beyond the Black River
Where no one will disturb your rest
There you shall lay
In your helm and in your harness
Your sword across your breast
Now take a quick moment
To answer this question
As the ferry aproaches the shore:
Will you have the coin
To pay for your passage
Or the courage to take up the oar?"
"Listen to the tales and romanticize
How we follow the path of the Hero
Boast about the day when the rivers overun
How we'll rise to the height of our halo
Listen to the tales as we all rationalize
Our way into the arms of the Savior
Feigning all the trials and the tribulations
None of us have actually been there, Not like you.
Ignorant fibbers in the congregation gather round spewing sympathy
Spare me!
None of them could ever hold a candle up to you, blinded by choices these Hypocrites
Won't see!
But enough about the collective Judas. Who could deny
You're the one who would really mean it
Your little piece of the divine
This little light of mine, a gift you passed on to me
I'm gonna let it shine to guide you safely on your way.
Your way home
What are they gonna do when the lights go down
Without you to guide them all to Zion?
What are they gonna do when the rivers overrun
Other than tremble incessantly?
HIGH is the way, but our eyes are upon the ground
You were the light and the way that they'll only read about
I only pray Heaven knows when to lift you out
Ten thousand days in the fire is long enough
You're going home.
You're the only one who could hold your head up high,
Shake your fist at the gate saying
"I have come home now!
Fetch me the Spirit, the Son, and the Father
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended!
It's time now! My time now! Give me mine,
Give me my Wings!"
You are the light and way they'll only read about.
Set as I am in my ways and my arrogance
Burden of proof passed onto believers
Your were my witness, my eyes, my evidence
For you loved me, unconditional one!
Daylight dims leaving cold flourescence
Difficult to see you in this light
Please forgive this bold suggestion
But should you see your Maker's face tonight
Look him in the eye, look him in the eye and tell Him
I never told a lie, never took a life
But surely saved one.
I'm all right now, it's time for you to take me home...."
The ET Opinion Directory!!!!
Please join, fan, shamelessly promote,and comment! A work in progress that needs your support!!!
Anyway. I'm tired of being angry and mean for angry and mean's sake. My works of protest, which contain just my own opinion, gave me an idea for a Wiki specifically designed to hold theses, arguments, reviews, rants, and any other form of personal expression known as
The ET Opinion Directory!!!!!
Everyone is welcome to comment on the wiki, which is under construction. I need some helpers, administrators
is the desire to help create a specific place for Elftown Members to argue, discuss, and debate any point. I believe this can help many wikis and forums to recover from being flooded with banter and fruitless argument. Let em do it here!!!
I would love to have some endorsement and administrative help from ET Council members for this wikis development and running.
You are not required to agree with anything I think or say; you must only have the capacity to uphold the wikis rules, which I penned and am absolutely willing to negotiate.
Anyone who wants to design the layout, make banners, help with HTML stuff I know nothing about, and help improve this wiki in any way, you are MOST WELCOME! :D
Right now it just has a first draft of rules which need to be polished with the help of an ET Council member or guard or secret service dude, or someone who has an official capacity on ET.
I am currently in the process of designing the OPINION CATEGORIZATION INDEX, bwahahaha, please comment with your ideas!!!
Hey everyone sorry for not being around! Especially to my rp buddies, I let you all down. Living in my new place and volunteering for NA has taken up a shit ton of my time, plus I've been feeling kinda down lately so my freetime is mostly spent sulking... But I miss you all! I'll try to stay more present here, hopefully actually get back involved here, though posting is a bitch on my phone
anyway, I miss you guys :(
I got a hunger for some unrest
Let's push this beyond a peaceful protest
I wanna speak in a language that they'll understand
Dedication to a new age
Is this the end of destruction and rampage?
A chance to erase then repeat it all again
Counterbalance this comotion
We're not droplets in the ocean!
They'll laugh as they watch us fall
The lucky don't care at all
No chance for fate,
It's unnatural selection
I want the truth!
No religion or mind virus
Is there hope that the facts will ever find us?
Just make sure you're looking out for number one
I got a hunger for some unrest
Let's push this beyond a peaceful protest
I wanna speak in a language they'll understand
Counterbalance this comotion
We're not droplets in the ocean!
They'll laugh as they watch us crawl
The lucky don't share at all
No hope for fate,
It's a common sense selection
I want the truth!
Nice car! Where'd you get your ride?
A trophy, badge of honor, over-compensat
Nice tie! Advertise your pride
Since when did what we pay for colored cloth guage our gravity??
Ah ha!
So you got your little world
Picture perfect, its a pearl
Now go and try to sleep in the bed you made!!
You should be careful what you wish for!
Because everyone of us has the devil inside
You should be careful what you wish for!
Because all of what amounts becomes you
No you're not the first to fall apart
or even the first one to complain
you better get careful or
you'll compromise everything you are
The world is a drought when out of love
Please come back to us,
You're all the above
"Im making the choice to be out of touch.
Leave me be," he said! He said
"Leave here in my
Stark raving, sick sad little world
leave me here!"
I've never had a fake confidence
It's more than I would care to explain
But I have an open door
policy When it comes to blame
The world is a joke when out of love
Please come back to us,
You're all the above
"I'm making the choice to be out of touch,
leave me be," he said. He said
"Leave me here in my
Stark raving, sick sad little world!
Leave me be"
Hey guys my com got utterly assassinated by the nastiest virus I've ever seen. I'll try to stay active on my phone until I can get it wiped and fixed, which could be a while :(
Hey my Internet is down, so sorry to all my new friends, but it might be a day or two before I can get back on in full capacity. Of course my phone still works and you are all welcome to text or call me. My number is on the friends only info thingy at the bottom of my house wiki. I'm still brainstorming all those rp ideas! Any way I love you guys, and hope to be back to rp, hang out and write soon!
Hey So I'm Back! Things are better than they were before. I got my shit straightened out, stopped doing drugs, and I have 82 days clean and sober! woo, lol. Anyway i'm not any sort of born again freak just because I had something of a life changing event, but I like to think I got a better grip on things now. I'm out job hunting, and I'm not isolating and feeling miserable. That's a pretty big change! Anyway i missed all you guys while I was gone, and I'm glad to see some of you missed me! I hope y'all like the new me, because I do. See you around!
Wear the Grudge like a crown
Of negativity
Calculate what you will
Will not tolerate
Desperate to control
All and everything
Unable to forgive
Your scarlet letterman
Clutch it like a cornerstone
Otherwise it all comes down
Justify denials and
Grip them to the lonesome end
Clutch it like a cornerstone
Otherwise it all comes down
Terrified of being wrong
Ultimatum prison cell
Saturn ascends
Choose one or ten
Hang on or be
Humbled again
Humbled again
Clutch it like a cornerstone
Otherwise it all comes down
Justify denials and
Grip them to the lonesome end
Saturn ascends
Comes 'round again
Saturn ascends
The one, the ten
Ignorant to
The damage done!
Wear the grudge like a crown
Of negativity
Calculate what you will
Will not tolerate
Desperate to control
All and everything
Unable to forgive
Your scarlet letterman
Wear the grudge like a crown
Desperate to control
Unable to forgive
And sinking deeper
Defining
Confining
Sinking deeper
Controlling
Defining
And we're sinking deeper
Saturn comes back around
To show you everything
Lets you choose what you will
Will not see and then
Drags you down like a stone
Or lifts you up again
Spits you out like a child
Light and innocent
Saturn comes back around
Lifts you up like a child
Or drags you down like a stone
To consume you 'til you
Choose to
Let this go
Choose to
Let this go
Give away the stone
Let the ocean take and transmutate
This cold and fated anchor
Give away the stone
Let the waters kiss and transmutate
These leaden grudges into gold
Let go
Let Go
LET GO!
Okay, so, Thanks to Noxxie and Akane I guess I'll stick around. Those two girls are really nice.
What was it like to see
The face of your own stability
Suddenly look away?
Leaving you with the dead and hopeless?
Eleven, and she was gone
Eleven is when we waved goodbye
Eleven is standing still
Waiting for me to free her by
Coming Home
Calling me with a sound
'wakening me within a gesture
Drawing me down and in
Showing me where it all began...
Eleven
This has truly scarred you, Eleven,
But you are the voice that's been calling me back Home!
UNDER A DEAD OHIO SKY...
Eleven has been and will be waiting
I'm defending her light and one dream
Eleven I have found you!
Sleeping lost, and numb, blind
Eleven I have found you!
I am wide awake!
And headed home!
Come with me... I know you remember me...hold your light, hold you light, please believe this memory
I am with you please be free
To relay a memory
Hold your light, hold your light
Hold your light where I can see!
I"M HEADED HOME!
HOld your light
Eleven leaded through each gentle step, by step
By inch by loaded memory
I'll move to heal you
As soon as pain allows so we can
Reunite
ANd both move on together
Hold your light
Eleven lead me through each gentle step, by step
By inch by loaded memory
Till 1, and 1, are one!
Eleven so
GLOW CHILD GLOW
I'm HEADED BACK HOME!
My blood before me in this empty grey house
On this dusky grey floor
I couldn't swear I cut myself with this shattered piece of glass
I couldn't tell you what was broken first
It feels like theres suppose3d to be magic words said here
Something to give this blood meaning
I couldn't swear to you who I is, who I am
I could tell you I cam here to cut you
Can you swear to yourself who you are too?
Dual HARAKIRI Vol. 2
By Darran Kern