Mmm, more painful allegory...

Trudging slowly over wet sand
Back to the bench where your clothes were stolen
This is the sea-side town
That they forgot to blow down

Come, Armageddon
Come, Armageddon, come

Every day's like Sunday
Every day is silent and grey
Every day's like Sunday

Hide on the promenade- etch a postcard
How I dearly wish I was not here
In the sea-side town
That they forgot to bomb

Come on, nuclear war

Every day's like Sunday
Every day is silent and grey

Trudging back over pebbles and sand
When a strange dust falls on your hands
And your face... And your face

Every day's like Sunday
Have some greased tea with me
Every day is silent and grey

Ok. Ok. I see how it is. I give up. I can run, but I'll only die tired.

I'm very tired. The only people who care about me use me or only pity me. I'm so tired people are afraid when they look at me.
People look at me like I'm a black hole, and if they acknowledge me, they'll get sucked in. I don't want to die and I don't want to live. Every kind word I've said to you all I have meant. It doesn't change that it was still at it's core a desperate cry for attention.

There is no God. If there is, he doesn't love me. I'm so unlucky, so fucked sideways, so weary, if there's a god, he hates me. In fact I can find no earthly explanation for any of this. I have nowhere to turn. I'm dying. I can feel it. No, I'm not suicidal. It's just every day that passes I feel less alive. I get sick easy now, I get exhausted fast. Every muscle aches every minute I'm awake. My nights contain not much more than crying myself to sleep, having nightmares all night, then waking up haggard to do it again.

And they all look at me like "You ungrateful fuck." their eyes say "Its easy, you pussy. Grow up!"

I'm expendable. Totally so. I'm worthless. Everything is conditional. If I can't meet your conditions, you leave. You all do.

I'm too tired to cry. I'm too tired to hate you all. I just want to rest. I can't do this anymore.

Do you ever feel expendable? Like a catalyst? Like someone elses way out? Like people use you when they're weak, and sing your praises, till the day you fall. Then you're a liability, a pain, a problem. Suddenly life is better without you.

Don't you ever see them later? See them smiling and loving and living? Do you feel that loss when they kiss their new ones, walk with their new packs, knowing you'll always remember and you'll maybe never cross their mind again?

I'm so dessicated, broken, emaciated, drained. But fuck you all, I'll keep giving, because that's what defines me.
Someone, somewhere, will think my love is worth returning, that my loyalty is peerless and honorable. I've never left any of you. Never.

This is dedicated to all my ET friends. Hang in there girls!

Chewed the bone down too low
Got fed on tea and sympathy
Blew the sail like the wind
I wish you were my enemy
I was humble for you

What a fool I've been to have
Laid so low for so long
Into that void of silence
Where we cry without sound
Where tears roll down

And where your mother's violence
Sent your soul underground
Where tears roll down

Drew the blade way too slow
Was shackled by your honesty
Made a mess, I guess I should have known
That life was lust and liberty

Not a chance mutation or the last temptation
Laid so low for so long, so low
Into that void of silence
Where we cry without sound
Where tears roll down

And where your mother's violence
Sent your soul underground
Where tears roll down

I'm the man in the box
Buried in my pit
Won't you come and save me?

Save my eyes!
Can you sow them shut?
Jesus Christ!
Deny your maker
All his trials
Will be wasted
I'll believe my eyes
Now you sow them Shut

I'm the dog who gets beat
Shove my nose in shit!
Won't you come and save me?
Save me?

Save my eyes!
Can you sow them shut?
Jesus Christ!
Deny your maker
All his trials
Will be wasted
I'll believe my eyes
Now you sow them Shut

Yay! I has roof and bed and shower and food! Wooooooot!

Ugh, haven't wanted to say anything about it, but I've been homeless since last Sunday. It sucks. A lot

I watch to observe something other than me
To relieve my constant pain
But how do I see what sets me free
When I'm always about to crack?

I'll flush out my soul
And scrape off all the plaque
I'm cleaned out and empty
So nothing will come back

This song is about me right now, and it's a very clear look into the feelings I feel.
The song is clearly an allegory to addiction.


Two times now,
I've been struck down by a voice that
Speaks from deep beneath the endless water

It's twice as clear as Heaven
Twice as deep as reason
Deep and rich like silt on a riverbed
And just as never-ending

The currents mount below me
Opens up around me
Suggests and beckons all while swallowing
Surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away!
But I'm so comfortable, Too comfortable

Shut up,Shut up, Shut up, You're saturating me
How could I let this bring me back to my knees?

Third time now
I've been baptized by a voice that
Screams from deep beneath the cold, black water

It's half as high as Heaven
Half as clear as reason
Clear and black like silt on a riverbed
Just as never-ending

The current's mount below me
Opens up around me
Suggests and beckons all while swallowing
Surrounds and drowns and washes me away!

But I'm so comfortable, Too comfortable
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, You're saturating me
How could I let this happen?

Why don't you kill me?
I am weak! And numb! And insignificant!
How could I let this bring me
Back to my knees?

Euphoria

I'm back down
In the undertow
I'm helpless and awake
I'm in the Undertow
Awake down beneath the undertow
There doesn't seem to be a way out of the Undertow
 
Missing: </i>Missing: </b>

I see you drivin' round town with the girl I love
And I'm like "Fuck You!" woo hoo!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough so
I'm like "Fuck You! And Fuck her too!"

Said if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
Ain't that some shit?
And though I'm prayin in my church
I still wish you the best
With a "Fuck You!"

So I'm sorry, I can't afford a Ferrari
But that don't mean I can't get you there
I guess you're an expert, no morals there babe
But the way you play your game ain't fair

I picture the Fool who falls in love with you
Oh yes she's a gold digger, should know she's a gold digger
Oooh, ooh, Got some news for you.
Go tell your little boyfriend!

I see you drivin' round town with the girl I love
And I'm like "Fuck You!" woo hoo!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough so
I'm like "Fuck You! And Fuck her too!"

Said if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
Ain't that some shit?
And though I'm prayin in my church
I still wish you the best
With a "Fuck You!"

I know, I had to borrow
Beg and steal and lie and cheat
Tryin to keep ya, tryin to please ya
Cuz bein in love with your ass ain't cheap

I picture the Fool that falls in love with you
Oh yes she's a gold digger, oh yeah a gold digger
Oooh, ooh, I got some knew for you
Damn, I really hate your ass right now

I see you drivin' round town with the girl I love
And I'm like "Fuck You!" woo hoo!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough so
I'm like "Fuck You! And Fuck her too!"

Said if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
Ain't that some shit?
And though I'm prayin in my church
I still wish you the best
With a "Fuck You!"

Baby, baby why you gotta treat me so bad?
I tried to tell my momma but she said this one is for yo dad
I'm like why??? Whyy???! Why baby?!!
Oh, I still love you!! Oh!

you drivin' round town with the girl I love
And I'm like "Fuck You!" woo hoo!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough so
I'm like "Fuck You! And Fuck her too!"

Said if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
Ain't that some shit?
And though I'm prayin in my church
I still wish you the best
With a "Fuck You ;)"

I'm having a bad night. Could use some support

I hate everything I am becoming
This change is torture
There is never enough to give
Only plenty to take-- And this I wage

When the ground parts from below
Will it feel so?
How can I gain from another
When the other's gone?

This hand, this hurt, my heart
I'll flirt with disaster just know now, man
The deal is off

I'll be no good-- This time defines
I'll put my touch around the grip of this knife
These dirty hands just won't come clean
I'm a murderer
The worst these worlds will see

Mercy, Just leave him a little bit longer
He's all my world
My love, I apoligize-- with that
You'll see the end of days, just rest assured

Because they won't let him go
And I remain so
Alone, to work out a clever way
to get him home

I will... Do what... I must
I'll flirt with disaster
Just know now Boy
You're out of luck

I'll be no good--this time defines
I'll put my touch around the grip of this knife
These dirty hands just won't come clean
I'm a murderer
The worst these worlds will see

Oh save me from defeat again
This is war
Murder the one so close!
While he trusts, you curse
Die! My darling!

If only you'd know
How truly you glow
In the Flame of Error

Oh I ask too much
Please turn back the clock
And Take me instead!

How have you come to lose
The only thing the other wants of you?
I've become the wrong in everyone's sleep
Please burn me, my God....

I'll be no good--This time defines
I'll put my touch around the grip of this knife
These dirty hands just won't come clean
I'm a murderer
The worst these worlds will see

Oh save me from defeat again
This is war
Murder the one so close
While he trusts you curse
Die! My darling!
Save me from defeat again...

Down beneath the sea of black bubbles
Inside the secret door in the sand
Beyond the broken Buddha
On the sunrise beach with too cracked moons

He's sitting, hopeful, holding tight to Shaggy Penny
Wondering what will happen when the sun finally comes up
it's only taken seven years to do so

Today my ghost here doesn't speak. I don't know what that means.
I'm afraid to, I guess
I watch the boy, jealous of his blonde hair
Jealous of his own particular fear

Which God takes us down and pulls us up?
Which lesson should give me happiness?
You know, kid, I thought you swept this beach
But there's dying limbs everywhere

So the dog won't acknowledge me, you won't get off the shore
And I won't call out to you that dear Orion flies east tonight
We know the past is about to repeat
Damn you, my brother, your eyes see his belt and bow

Even in this fearsome pink sky
Even as grey-green rays penetrate the western blackness
Even as we get ready to stitch our mouths to die quietly
Know that this time I love you

May God let that be difference enough.

Sorry lost phone, has phone back now. <3 u all.

Metaphor for a missing moment
Pull me into your perfect circle
One womb, one chain, one resolve
Liberate this will--to release a soul

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away in spite of this
Umbilical residue
That's keeping me from killing you

And from pulling you down with me here
I can almost hear you scream

Gotta cut away, clear away
Snip away in spite of this
Umbilical residue
That's keeping me from killing you

Crawled away from me
Slipped away from me
Tried to keep it wrong
But there was nothing I could say

Slithered away from me
Drift away from me
Tried to take it home
But there's nothing I could say

Well what you're trying to say
Is you don't wanna play
Well what you want and what you need
Don't mean a fuck to me

I can see your
Back is turning
If I could I'd
Stick a knife in

This is my love for you

ZOMG!!! Sorrry, got transferred to a place with no phone priviledges! So sorry to my lovely friends, Im back nows!!!!

For [Alexi Ice]

"We're now up here alone
A terror from the intercom
Can someone save us?

Systems malfunctioned?
Blast it! This damned machine.
Over and out, Captain

Then something lurks, a shadow cross the countertop
I can't stand to watch,
Your heart's coming out of your chest

~Remember when we were young?
Sit upright at the table!

A photograph of her feeding me, from way back
What can I do alone? Maybe nothing
You were the only one there.~

~Hello? Hello? When it rings will you answer?
There, in the corner, in a battle stance it's you.
Come on and kill me!

You made a good friend to me
But while we were outnumbered and torn
I made you do things...

And Oh Dear God!
I don't feel alive!
When you're cut short, In misery
Will you pray it be the end?

Give a look surprised with wide eyes to me!
Then you'll know just what I am!
The Scar that triggers your fear
Come know me in a different light, now here
Come know me as God

You made a good friend to me
But while we were outnumbered and torn
We did all those things to you...

Run- sand- hourglass
It's my time, will I be worth it
Spin-round-carousel
My horse isn't screwed in

And Oh Dear God!
I don't feel alive!
When you're cut short, in misery
Will you pray it be the end?

Give a look surprised with wide eyes to me!
In a subtle demise, legitimate cry
The Scar that triggers your fear
Can't go on
Come know me in a different light now here
Come know me as God."

Oh, and [Chimes]!!!!!!!

Getting kinda depressed by ET. None of my old friends are here for me anymore, and my new ones are still really new... I'm not sure about most of them, but I should feel positive about all of them. I've been on here almostfour years though. It's tough to lose all the reasons I was here in the first place.

Anyway, <3 to [Flisky], [Aeolynn], [Nioniel] and even the world's first living, breathing, and typing bag of douche, [Mortified Penguin]!

"Lacerating pains of degeneration
Speed through your trembling mind
Still, in machine-like strife you gain another mile

The temporary elusive goal,
To reach the Solace
To feed once more upon the synthetic Reaper of loss
No matter the outcome
No matter the cost."