Hey! so I've been writing a Star Wars fanfiction for my friend [Maloryn]. It's working out great, and I'm really proud of it.
It's set in the Old Republic a couple hundred years after the Darth Bane trilogy in a timeline I'm pretty sure is empty and relatively fair game for me to shove whatever I want in there. It's a original characters, so I couldn't possibly invoke nerd rage for that stuff. But my lack of obscure technical knowledge and frequent abuse of artistic license might set somebody off, just a little ;)
If any of you awesome and generous Elftownians wanna look at it, it's on
Star Wars: The Needle
I haven't gotten it neatly organized and it's all first draft so far. But it's really good. :D
*blows whistle waves hands*
ex-girlfriend Gasoline blues
Last night I saw that beauty queen
Watched her paint her face on.
I want to be that magazine
She based this life on.
I wanna waste her monthly blood.
Wanna get some on my love
I want to get some gasoline
And burn her house down!
She got nothing to say.
She's got bills to pay.
Got no one to hate
Except for me.
Last night I saw that beauty queen
Gettin high on Revlon.
Wanna be that magazine
That she wastes her life on.
Wanna waste her monthly blood.
Wanna get some on my love.
Wanna get some gasoline
And burn her house down!
She got nothing to say.
She's got bills to pay.
Got no one to hate
Except FOR ME.
ME.
When I saw that beauty queen
I watched her paint her face on
I wanna be the one unclean
That she wipes her ass on.
Wanna waste her monthly blood.
Wanna get some on my love.
I want to get some gasoline
And burn her house down!
She got nothing to say.
She's got bills to pay.
She got no one to hate
Except for me.
She's got nothin but shame.
She takes pills for pain.
She's got no one to blame
Except for me.
For me.
I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go
Walkin' with a dead man over my shoulder!
Waiting for an invitation to arrive
Going to a party where no one's still alive
I was struck by lighting
Walkin' down the street
I was hit by something last night
in my sleep
It's a Dead Man's party
Who could ask for more?
Everybody's coming
Leave your body at the door
Leave your body and soul at the door.
Don't run away!
it's only me...
All dressed up with nowhere to go
Walkin with a dead man...
Waitin' for an invitation to arrive
Walkin with a dead man, dead man? A dead man!
Got my best suit and my tie
Shiny silver dollar on either-other eye
I hear the chauffeur comin' to my door
Says there's room for maybe just one more!
It's a Dead Man's Party
Who could ask for more?
Everybody's coming
Leave your body at the door
Leave your body and soul at the door.
Don't run away!
it's only me
Don't be afraid
of what you can't see....
Bored. Feel like making a silly list of cheers and jeers. *wonders if it will provoke anyone into conversation..
okay, here goes. The catagory is "All-time Favorite" and "All-time Hated." these are things that may not be my current favorites or agonies, but they're hall of fame type shit.
ALL-TIME FAVORITE
Movie: "There Will Be Blood"
Director: Paul Thomas Anderson
Best Actor (Acadamy Award, Golden Globe) Daniel Day Lewis
Song: "Just Another Day" by Oingo Boingo
Song Credit: Danny Elfman (yes, the same guy who did Batman and Night Before Christmas. No, it's not orchestral. No, you've never heard it. Ever. If it's on YouTube, I'll eat my hat.)
TV Show: "KABLAAM!" on Nickolodeon
Early 90s SNick show, sketch comedy animation that beat Robot Chicken by nearly a decade. Don't think I'll ever laugh that hard ever again.
Highlight: "The Prometheus and Bob Tapes" fucking gold for a kid. Still holds up ok, too.
Video Game: "Sonic the Hedgehog 2" Sega Genesis
This was the first video game I ever enjoyed playing. It was so awesome that my two-year inability to beat the second level didn't stop me from loving it. I didn't ever really enjoy real video games until I beat GTA: San Andreas for the first time age 16, but I never would have been a gamer, late-bloomer or no, without this game. When I finally beat it a couple years ago (it's one of the last games to require you to beat it in a single sitting before the advent of save files, also, the last level and two boss fights must be won while taking absolutely no hits whatsoever,) I cried. Because the comics, games, and cartoons of Sonic were my childhood. Nostalgiaaaaaa
BOOK: "Lisey's Story" by Stephen King
This one isn't well known. It's a powerf magnum opus story about an aging widow of a famous fiction writer now two years dead, as she pieces together her life without her famous husband. She wages war with a psychotic fan stalker who will not stop until she is dead, and through the life of her husband, and his strange childhood illness, mysterious past, and horrifying secret, she triumphs and forges her own
story.
This book is fucking victorious. You buy naow!!
Aaaand, quick movie genre breakdown, because I love movies and want to shove more in.
ACTION: "Terminator 2: Judgement Day"
COMEDY: "Groundhog Day"
THRILLER: "Memento"
HORROR: "Child's Play"
Drama: "Capote"
Now, it's time for the good ole meat an pohtaytoes, the shit I cannot. Fucking. Stand. Forever.
ALL-TIME HATED
MOVIE: "Beowulf"
This is the only movie in my life I have ever walked out of. It ruined the greatness of the epic poem. "Beowulf" was like the very first pulp action story. Sure it had some substance, but ultimately it was the Steven Seagal movie of it's day. The movie tried to square-peg an actual point to all the wanton violence. A Pansy, emo, bullshit point. Revolting. Offensive. Art style sucked.
SONG: "The Reason" by Hoobastank.
If you're not a musician, your brain simply cannot fathom the full spectrum FAIL that this song is.
The song is tedious, horribly paced, in a preposturous key and tone, and the lyrics are so bad, if you think of the lamest, most socially broken, ugly, half-retarded emo kid you knew in highschool, I guarantee you his poetry is better. Much better.
The true mortally sinful, hellbound part of this song is whoever produced it. The lead singer must have been absolutely high out of his mind, and the producer too, because whoever the singer is, whom I do not think is a bad vocalist, was BRUTALLY off key. UNBELIEVABLY so. Like, sounds like a stray cat, in heat, getting stabbed to death off key.
TV SHOW: "King of Queens" on CBS
Not funny. Not in the same galaxy as funny. Mind-numbingly not funny. Fuck you, CBS. That's right, keep hiding behind Big Bang Theory and rake in your CSI syndacation money. #1 comedy? Fuck you, King of Queens is not allowed to inherit Everybody Loves Raymond's mantel by default. NOT. FUNNY.
VIDEO GAME: "Ninety Nine Nights" for XBOX360
wow. You'd think after 20+ Dynasty Warriors games, somebody would do something right with the genre. Especially with a new console. WRONG.
BOOK:
Lemme preface this by saying that I'm about to piss a LOT of people off. That being said,
"The Vampire Lestat" by Anne Rice
Cannot. Fucking. STAND Anne Rice. She sucks. Very, very badly. Her writing is the equivalent of a sledgehammer. Blunt, super-forced, cold, metallic, ugly. LAME.
I loved Interview with the Vampire! I was pumped to read the next book. Then I read
"I am what you would call a 'rock star'" and knew from the first paragraph the mountain of elephant feces I was in for. Apparently the whole first book, in all it's genius, was an elaborate hoax, and I was reading the REAL story. Twilight. It's fucking twilight. With just a sprinkling of actual substance on the sunlight sparkles.
Movie genre blitz of SHAME:
ACTION: "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines"
COMEDY: "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
THRILLER: "No Country for Old Men"
HORROR: "The Hills Have Eyes"
thanks for reading! :D I'm excited for the hate mail
That last one isn't so good. But, dear Echo, this one is better. Hell, it's worth looking up. Google it.
I've got a Chrome Plated Heart
Wings on these fingers, tryin to tear it apart
Got angels cryin-- From up above
And they got rust in their eyes
Got rust on their love
But I have learned to leave no stone unturned
Keep the one against my back
And the love is real-- as the day is long
And the night is black...
As Black. As. Night.
I've got a two dollar stare
The Midas in my touch, And shine up in my hair
Got bad intentions-- from the soles of my shoes
Got red hot fever!
And these chromium blues
But I will feel another lover's wind
Drive for miles and not look back
And the love is real-- as the day is long
And the night is black...
As Black. As. Night.
And I'll dance in time!
And the times are rough
I'll pay the price!
And I'll pray that it's enough
And just outside your door
Where it always rains
I'll take the time to polish
These scratches-- And these stains!!
On my Chrome Plated Heart
Wings on these fingers tryin to tear it apart
Got angels cryin-- From up above
They got rust in their eyes
Got rust on their love
And the only way I know
Where the train will go
Is when I'm layin on the tracks
And the love is real-- as the day is long
And the night is black...
As Black. As. Night.
For Echo
When there's lightning
You know it always brings me down
Cause it's free and I see
that it's me
Who's lost and never found!
I cry out for magic
I feel it dancing in the light
it was cold
Lost my hold
To the shadows of the night!
No sign of the morning coming
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark
Do your demons--
do they ever let you go?
When you've tried
do they hide deep inside
Is it someone that you know?
You're a picture
just an image cut in time
We're a lie
you and I
We're words without a rhyme!
There's no sign of the morning coming
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark
When there's lightning
it always brings me down!
Cause it's free
and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found!
Feel the magic!
Feel it dancing in the air
But it's fear
and you'll hear
It calling you beware!
No sign of the morning coming
There's no sight of the day
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark
"I have a problem
that I can not explain
I have no reason
why it should have been so plain
I have no questions
but I sure have excuse
I lack the reason why I should be so confused
I know
how I feel when I'm around you
I... don't know
how I feel when I'm around you
Around You...
Left a message
but it ain't a bit of use
I have some pictures
of what might be the deuce
Today you saw
you saw me, you explained
playing the show when running down the plane
I know
how I feel when I'm around you
I... don't know
how I feel when I'm around you
I... I know
how I feel when I'm around you
I... don't know how I feel when I'm around you
Around You..."
"Roulette"
By System of a Down
--
Sometimes, life's too fucking weird, ain't it, Sugar? ;)
Nyaa, nyaa nyaa!
Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa nyaa!
If you had the courage
To stop me from turning into what would be
The worst in everybody's eyes
Hey! I'm no angel
Or devil of your conscience
To tell you who to be
Good, bad, ugly, or otherwise
If you had good common sense
Your choices would be grinning far less
I want no part in this self-deprecati
Worthless chemistry
We made our beds!
To lie in them proud
Proud of our great mistakes!
This warring knife,
The flash of this blade
Turn about-face!
I implore you! Brother
Don't walk away
Don't walk away from me!
This is our war...
Oh, you think they have it all,
While you were left with nothing?
Oh, oh. You took the fall!
For them to walk all over
You made your bed...
So soft, and comforting
Your dreams await-- the grey
Good morning!
We made our beds!
To lie in them proud
Proud of our great mistakes!
This warring knife,
The flash of this blade
Turn about-face!
I implore you! Brother
Don't walk away
Don't walk away from me!
This is our war...
We've got you by the throat
HaHaHA!
All that you want to be...
Welcome, oh...
To the everlasting all-time low!
Please put your hands together
For the ever-failing one man show:
Domino!
"Ladies, and broken Gentlemen!
The undisputed champ
Of misery,
And in this corner
We find his challenger
The pride of Utopia
The greatest thing ever"
Oh... Oh...
HA-HA! HA-HA!
HahaHA!
Oh... Oh...
HA-HA! HA-HA!
HahaHA!
If you could recall
One moment in your past
That defied you to be
That made you the man
We've come to love
All the above?
This diaster binds-- Us absolute
The thousand lies you tell yourself
That nobody ever loved you, right?
Oooh, but I would do anything for you!
The Question fits the questioned heart...
Your signals crossed! Your message lost!
HA-HA!
..."Welcome back to the main event, the fight of the century
Where two great champions fight to the finish
The fight's in the last and final round
Let's get back to the action
And get you the play by play
They meet in the center of the ring...
The challenger sways to the right,
Swings a right hook that pops Domino's jaw
Followed by a quick left to the body
Oh! And he fires another left!
Yes! Domino staggers to the ropes!
The challenger squares up,
And here's a finishing flurry! Again! Again!
And the champ falls to the mat!
The crowd is on their feet!
The ref calls the fight! It's over!
He's out! He's out!! He's out!!!"
...
Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa
Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa nyaa!
This will won't last forever..
Your time has come!
It's now or never!
We made our beds!
To lie in them proud
Proud of our great mistakes!
This warring knife,
The flash of this blade
Turn about-face!
I implore you! Brother
Don't walk away
Don't walk away from me!
This is our war...
One by one!
We are together! We fought together!
One by one!
We are together! We fall together!
Oh... Don't be afraid, dear brother...
We are together! We are together!
Brother!!!
We are together! We fall together!
I've got a little red bow
And I bought it for you
'Cause I know you're not fair.
I don't get it, oh well...
And you colored my skin
And the colors don't blend
'Cause I'm gonna get you
And your little dog, too!
There's a yellow brick road
That we follow back home
'Cause I know you can't wait
Your belligerent hate...
There's no place like home
There's no place like home
Like HOME!
I've got a southern belle, too
And her ruby-red shoes
With a body of straw
Are you sick of it all?
Like a man made of tin
With an oil-can grin
So I'm gonna get you
And your little dog, too!
There's a yellow brick road
That we follow back home
And I know you can't wait
Your belligerent hate...
There's no place like home
There's no place like home
There's a little white porch
Where you wanted it so!
Can you let me go down
To the end of the road?
From the black and the white
A Technicolorful life!
Can I stand by your side?
We can make it alright...
Like HOME!
'Cause I'm home
There's a little white porch
Where you wanted it so!
Can you let me go down
To the end of the road?
From the black and the white
A Technicolorful life!
Then it's no surprise
I'm a cowardly lion!
What I want from this world,
What I wanna resolve,
When I want you to stay,
So I watched you await!
I don't wanna be bold,
I don't wanna be cold,
I don't wanna grow old,
I DON'T WANNA GO HOME!
My phone is broken. It sucks. I'll try to get it replaced soon. I won't be on very much until I do. Sorry.
For Echo. With Love.
My Reflection? Dirty mirror.
No connection-- To myself
I'm your Lover. I'm your Sinner.
I'm the Face in your dreams of black
So save your prayers
For when we're really gonna need 'em
Through all of your shame and pride--
Wanna go for a ride?
She is.. The One... For me
She's all I really need! Oh yeah!
She is... The One... For me
Emptyness is Loneliness, and Loneliness is Cleanliness, and Cleanliness is Godliness
And God is empty. Just like me!
Intoxicated! With the maddness
I'm in love with-- My sadness
Enchanted kingdoms? Bullshit fakers.
Fashion victims with their charcoal teeth
I never let on
That I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself
For what you can't ignore
You blame yourself for wanting MORE
She is... The One... For me
She's all I really need! Oh yeah!
She is... The One... For me
She's my one
And only.
Here we go again. Bedbugs. Hell lice. Immortal vampires. Demons.
In these words that crash my ears
I now stomach this in fear!
For in turn, I gathered name
As the bastard son
Who by fire I would come
Through this wire I might cut
Atop this tower of loss and lust
I'll gravitate towards you!
I will, in the now, Hate you!
You Know, You Know
I'll make you wish
You hadn't burned our time before
I'll live through this
In a manner-- cursed at my own accord
You Know
If my shame spills our worth across this floor
You Know
Then Tonight- Goodnight!
I'm Burning Star IV
Only I don't even think of you
No, I don't wanna think of you anymore
Goodnight- Tonight- Goodbye!
Goodnight, Tonight, Goodbye
In my presence you might wake
Through this fiction I must fake!
Your death to grace the face
of my character
With these lessons he might learn
All worlds from here must burn!
For as God demands,
in the end we miss
You Know
If my shame spills our worth across this floor
Then Tonight- Goodnight!
I'm Burning Star IV
Only I don't even think of you
No, I don't wanna think of you anymore
Goodnight- Tonight- Goodbye!
Goodnight, Tonight, Goodbye
...
--There is no room for mistakes, my love
For as I have been told....today is the day I go.
I'm sorry I never played the part as your friend, as I should have
And from the look on your face...it seems that's all you've ever asked of me
It is time for you to go into these worlds alone... with all of my love.
I'm sorry,
But I love you so, so very much.
...
I'll make you wish
You hadn't burned our time before!
I'll live through this
In a manner cursed at my own accord
I DON'T WANT TO GO!
So come on bitch!
Why aren't you laughing now?
You left me here
To fend on my own!
So cry on bitch,
Why aren't you laughing now?
Yeah!
If my shame spills our worth across this floor
Then Tonight- Goodnight!
I'm Burning Star IV
Only I don't even think of you
No I don't wanna think of you anymore
Goodnight- Tonight- Goodbye!
Goodnight, Tonight, Goodbye
Okay, thank god for aliases! Under my legal name, my sith name is
Dark Jerker.
BUT!
Under my alias?
Darth Darker. BWAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dedicated to Echo.
Lay beside me-- Tell me what they've done
Speak the words I want to hear
To make my demons run
The door is locked now
but it's opened if you're True
If you can understand the Me,
Then I can understand the You
Lay beside me-- under wicked skies
Through black of day, dark of night
We share this Paralyze
The door cracks open
but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still
No, there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining!
What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turned to stone
Behind the door-- Should I open it for you?
What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?
Because I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven, too?
Come beside me,
This won't hurt, I swear
She loves me not,
she loves me still,
But she'll never love again
She lay beside me
But she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still,
she'll be there when I'm gone
Yes, she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead-sure she'll be there!
What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turned to stone
Behind the door-- Should I open it for you?
What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?
Because I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven, too?
Lay beside me
Tell me what I've done
The door is closed, so are your eyes
But now I see the sun
Yes, now I see it
What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages--Turned to stone
Behind the door-- Should I open it for you?
What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there?
Because I'm the one who waits
The one who waits for you
I take this key
And I bury it in you
Because you're unforgiven, too
Never free
Never me
Because you're unforgiven, too
I'm on my phone, so I do not engage in the 30 minute process known as copy-pasting YouTube links, but do yourself a favor.
Search "Teamfourstar dragonballz abridged parody" or simply "tfs abridged" what follows is the highest quality fan-made anime parody ever created. This shit is professional. And also, when I'm saying I laughed so hard I cried tears of joy and mirth and nearly asphyxiated, I am not kidding.
Sample dialogue from episode 18 (Frieza saga, on Namek, when Gohan steals Vegeta's final dragonball, and almost gets away with it by hiding the ball as Vegeta flies by.
V: I know I just sensed someone.You have three seconds to Show yourself! Or I'll turn this place into a barren wasteland! So... Pretty much the same, but on fire. *raises hands, charges attack* 3...2...1...
G: *pops up from behind rock* uh, Hi! Vegeta... Sir?
V: Well! If it isn't Moe Holland!
G: How did you even--?
V: Space-Hulu.
G: Figures.
V: *Lands in front of Gohan* so, whatcha doin out here?
G: *pales* oh... You know... Flyin around
V: Flying around?
G: *nods* Flying around
V: Thwartin my plans?
G: Thwartin your plans? *O-O*
V: Are you?
G: No?
V: Good. Cuz that would be bad.
G: How bad?
V: Id have to kill you.
G: Thats bad. *O~O*
V: Indeed. Stupid looking watch you got there. *peers at dragon radar*
G: *hides radar quickly.* Yes. *stern face* It tells time. And nothing else.
V: Well duh! That's what a watch does. *pimp look* Dumbass.
G: Well... I'd better be going....
V: Hold on a second, *kneels next to Gohan*
G: Can I... Help you? o~o
V: *caresses Gohan's face with evil look* No. But maybe I can help you....
G: O~o ...I need an adult!
V: *EvilER grin* I AM an adult. *Knee smashes Gohan's ribs in*
G: uh... ugh... *cough* collapses* X_X
V: Btw, I only hit you because I have pent up agression against your father. Lol. Take that. *flies away*
Keep your secrets in the dark
Nothing matters anymore
Body is breaking, Drive me crazy
This is not your place,
No, this is not your playground, it's my Heart!
We were stupid, we got Caught!
But nothing matters anyMore!
So what?
Here we are, Juggernaut.
Courage broken, lashed to scars
Could this love be what I want?
Body is breaking, Driving me crazy
It's your Fault!
We were stupid we got Caught!
But nothing matters anyMore!
So what?
Here we are, Juggernaut.
So let's Hang us a hangman
We'll bury our burdens in blood...
NO! NO!
Let's hang us a hangman
We'll bury our burdens in blood...
Become stronger, Juggernaut.
Answer me
Did we take this to far?
You've given all I could need
Did we take this to far?
But your Kiss won't leave me be
Did we take this to far?
And your Teeth just won't stop
Chewing out my Heart!
We were stupid, we got Caught!
But nothing matters anyMore!
So what?
Here we are, Juggernaut,
We are Juggernaut,
We are Juggernaut,
We are the Juggernaut.
What?
What?
What?
Re-ignition translation-- begin
Cosmopoliton reflection within
When our action cause reaction what starts
a transmission of a love in one heart
Re-ignition
Re-ignition
We love to make you overstand
that this gross sphere-- is not Jah land!
Apart-outside, who can escape
Our destiny confirmed in fate?!
Re-ignition cancellation-- can't win
No celesty to caress me begin
When grace melts inside your hand and my heart
Is the glory that much closer or apart?
Re-ignition
Re-ignition
We hope to make you overstand
that this gross sphere--is not Jah land!
Apart-outside, who can escape
Our destiny confirmed in fate?!
Always and forever-- near or far
Safe in your bosom-- here we are
Pain does not mean-- feel no joy!
Re-ignition-- for girl and for boy
Re-ignition
We hope to make you overstand
that this gross sphere- is not Jah land!
Apart-outside, who can escape
Millennium confirmed in fate!?
Most epic metal song ever. Depressing lyrics, but the song has a happy ending. The ending is instrumental tho, so you might not get it.
Straws Pulled at Random, by Meshuggah:
What solace-
lies in the arms of fate?
The ill embrace of uncertainty
When did I leave this-
in other hands
To be pulled down at chance?
Ripped away by destiny-claws,
Am I another of fate's possessions dwelling-
the lie of freedom?
Just another straw pulled at random!
Re-claimed-
by deceiving time-
A silent judgment-
I can not overrule
Drawn back!
into the origin-vortex
Uprooted and ground to dust!
Retracted into anti-existence
A magnet repelled by life's polarity!
Denied the self control of fate,
We flow suspended in semi-life
Until the ever imminent day
When oblivion claims our breath
Nowhere indefinitely!
Not dead, not alive!
Existence-patt
As Will
and Fate
DIVIDE!
Have I appeased the gods of fate?
Am I allowed another day?
Must I die to escape
The scanning eyes
of death??
(((world's most awesome song outro ever. Also, Tomas Haake(the drummer) is a percussion god)))
hope you at least liked the poetry, sugar.
I'm too lazy to do link bullshit on my phone, but if you really want to laugh your ass off (and maybe weep a little,)
Go to Youtube and type in "Gotye parody the starwars that I used to know."
You can get addicted to an overuse of graphics...
And making Greedo shoot first,
Han shot first
And when you try to make the Force make sense
You introduce the midichlorians.
XD
And you didn't have to change it all!
Have your friends direct your movies
And they'll turn out better!
XDDDD ;_; ....