Holy cow this is such a tiring day. There is nothing to do and I wish that I could have gone swimming lastnight to talk to a couple of friends rather than sit at home and pretend that everything is fine and dandy. I couldn't go swimming because my bloody bowels are acting up, again. I don't know whether or not I am going to have the runs or if my shit is going to come out solid or if it is going to come out at all. Everything is so confusing and mind boggling, I feel like I am in a dream where nothing is going to make sense for the longest time and the world is tilting every which way possible. This is so abnormal, I have not felt this way for quite a long while and I wish that I had someone whom I could lean against like I have in my dreams. I sometimes imagine that I am reaching back and someone takes my hand warmly in their's. How bloody stupid of me to think that that would ever happen, no one really cares about me and that is finale.

When the sky literally turns red then that is when I shall be leaving for for me there is no rest. I can not sleep during the day and when I do manage it is as if I have gotten no rest. There is no rest for the wicked.

I can't believe that so much has happened in 4 days and though there are consequences, those consequences have consequences. Every action has a consequence and every consequence has a consequence.

Today, April 13, 2003, is the day that my sleep over ends. I have watched a movie but I can't seem to be able to let my friend go for some reason. She is allergic to my cat. I have been sad for many days now and I don't know why, everything just seems a little crazy. I can't concentrate on shit for all that I am worth.

I'm so tired that I can still barely keep my eyes open. I barely got any sleep lastnight and am wishing that it had not happened that way. I have been trying to work on my homework but I don't have everything that I need to even start working on it. I keep burning insence because it helps me relax and be able to think. It is my physical anchor/leverage in this world, it keeps me living. But it is not a good idea to keep burning them.

Last night I actually slept and awoke feeling groggy and more tired than usual but feeling rested. I had a dream but I can't remember much of it, which is probably a good thing. Dreams come and go like the wind, the sun and the moon but they last a long time.

, guy. Near the stories end I had my head resting on his hip. At the end, we were all asleep and I was right behind him with my arms around him. In the morning I awoke to find that he was gone. I headed for the kitchen and found a girl that looked like me with long hair. A little later I was sitting in this strange room with the guy right infront of me. We were talking about the story which we both assumed was our past from some time ago. We discussed a lot like why I had to kill him instead of him just killing me. I had to awaken by them so he asked for my name and I gave it just before I had awakened.
-Tykao

Dear Diary

 Let's see, lastnight I had a dream about a guy. I entered a room filled with people, I think that it was a type of mixed slumber party. Someone was telling a story about a vampire who fell in love with a girl. He chaced her through the town the town to the hospital and said that he wanted her to be with him always. I pictured all of this in my head and realized that the story was about me and a certain.