There is so much going on in my life now and all I want to do is scream stop but its as if my vocal cords have been ripped out of thoart. So no words come out of my mouth that needs and wants to speak so much. Im so lost mentally in what I should and what I shouldnt do whats right, whats wrong. I fear as if I do not know the words that needd to be spoken to people I dearly care about and I know they need to hear them. Am I trully just a silly silly 15 yearold girl losing her place once again in the world. Losing the footing she went threw so much to gain once more. Trust lost for unknown reasons. Suicide talking from those closest and not knowning of what to say. Feeling bad for pain caused but yet uncaused by myself. No more sharp things moving deeply across my wrist for making sure Im still alive. Knowing what I live threw, the love I feel for the people closest to me wishing I just could be there how I should be. Knowing Im wishing for impossibltys to form. Will praying to a god I dont even believe in, to cause the impossible to happen. Would it get me threw somthin that may be so diffcult to get threw. About when I use to pray to him so many times a day asking and pleading him for good to come. Laying in my bed tears upon face sting dark eyes. beating my hands trying to make them break just trying to break my body in hopes that all things would stop being as they are. Praying for death to come to a face stained with tears. Will any of that help me get through these things that have come in to my life so unexpected. Should I go back to sharp blades and tears or should i put my hair up my back straight and proud as thou I was acctually strong and try to get threw it.
Okie dokie I dont know if any of you will be reading this and Im sorry. I am now grounded because of my little brother he said I was beating on him when I didnt even touch him. My mother wants to send me to fostercare because I guess Im just not wanted anymore. Maybe I'll end up in another state where people will really acctually care about me. Im really not a bad person, and it hurts so much not to be wanted by my own mother.
She said that I could just go live somewhere else if that meant at a friends house, familys house (my family dont want me either), or on the streets where its cold. I did leave for an hour but I couldnt find a place to a stay so I decided to go to my house sneak in and sleep somewhere warm. Im grounded till they figure out what to do with me so Im only gonna be able to come on when at school or parents arent home.
I thought of killing myself many a time but I knew I have to stay alive. Im still needed on this earth I just dont think Im needed anymore here in My town in montana.
Chris I dont have your letter mailed and I dont when Ill be able to get it mailed. Im gonna write you everyday or try to atleast.
Love you all,
Autumn (beautiful _ darkness)
this song reminds me of chris mostly the first 4 lines
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
but she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it’s got nothing to do with me
Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Ooh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
cleaning up the mess he made
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
Boys, you can break
You find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart
On behalf of every man
looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters, too
OK well im deiciding to cut my hair short but im not sure what kinda short hiarstyle i want anyone go give me suggestions at short hair cuts
I say one word or do one simple thing and everything goes wrong
Im sick of this im sick of life there is no point ive been trying so hard and things a finally working out and no one can see it
Im sorry Im not good enough anymore for anyone
Because of you tonight tears fill my eyes
Like a rain storm
I don’t blame you for my tears
No I blame no one for that
You told me things I never wanted to hear
I thank you for the truth
But did the truth
Have to hurt this hard
I thought I was strong without my walls
Now I know
They are the only thing holding me up
Am I cursed to knowing a truth?
A truth not wanting to know
Were you worth the tears?
That cried me to sleep
For some many months
You talked about a death
Not really wanted
I tried so hard to stop you
Then I realized
How dead you were to me already
sorry I havent updated for joke of the day and quote of the day I have been very busy with school and dealing with the drama school brings -glares at school drama-
Three friends that are moms are talking together about their daughters.
One is a brunette, one is a redhead and the other is a blond.
The brunette says, "I found some cigarettes in my daughter's room and I didn't know she smoked."
The redhead says, "I found a book in my daughter's room and I didn't know she could read."
Then the blond says, "I found some condoms in my daughter's room and I didn't know she had a penis."
quote
"cherry flavored anti acid" from a song on the radio
Am I suppose to love someone if they love me am I suppose to love them back
Or am I suppose to break their heart and feel the guilt I have for doing so
Joke of the day Sunday 21 (sorry I missed yesterday was busy cleaning)
A drunk staggers into a Catholic church and makes his way into the confession box. He says nothing.
The bewildered priest coughs to catch the man's attention, but the man stays silent. Then the priest knocks on the wall three times in final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally, the drunk replies, "No use knocking, pal. There's no toilet paper in this one either."
Quote Of The Day
This sucks big hairy monkey balls
Joke of the day Friday August 19th
A little boy wanted to walk his dog, so he asked his mom if he could.
"Well, you better go ask your dad, because she is in heat, and he can help you out." said his mom.
The little boy went out to the garage and found his dad. Where he asked, "Dad, can I take the dog for a walk? Mom said you could help me out because she is in heat."
"Sure you can son," he replied. "Just bring her over here first, and we'll get her all fixed up."
So the boy takes his dog over to his dad. His dad then pours gasoline all over his dog. And then tells him, "There you go, have a good walk."
The little boy heads out for his walk with his dog. He is gone for several hours, and the returns without his dog. His parents wonder what happened to the dog.
His mom asks, "Where did your dog go son?"
The little boy replied, "Oh, she ran out of gas a few blocks back, and another dog is pushing her home."
JOKE OF THE DAY
Midgets shouldnt sing
JOKE OF THE DAY THURSDAY AUGUST 18TH
Two weeks ago was my birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember."
The children came down to breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon. Then, my secretary knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go. We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place.
We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure," I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday... and there on the couch I sat... naked
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Have you ever tried to cut a thing with a chainsaw that was once living
Joke of the Day!!!!!!!!!
FIVE THINGS MEN SHOULD NEVER SAY AT VICTORIA'S SECRET:
1) Does this come in children's sizes?
2) No, thanks. Just sniffing.
3) Mom will love this.
4) No need to wrap it. I'll eat it here.
5) Oh, honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that!
Quote of the day!!!
Id kill to have your body... In my trunk
JOKE OF THE DAY!!!!
Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (whose habits partially blocked the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort to get them to move.
In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living there."
The second guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there."
The third guy said, "I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there."
One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet, calm, voice said, "Why don't you go to hell...there aren't any nuns there."
QUOTE OF THE DAY!!!
Quack You
Joke of the Day!!!
Why Fishing is Better Than Sex:
When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.
Fish don't compare you to other fishermen neither and don't want to know how many other fish you caught.
In fishing you lie about the one that got away. In loving you lie about the one you caught.
You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie and promise to still be friends after you let it go.
You don't have to necessarily change your line to keep catching fish.
You can catch a fish on a 20-cent night crawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.
Fish don't mind if you fall asleep in the middle of fishing.
Quote of the day!!!!
Murder Is A Wonerful Work Out
JOKE OF THE DAY!!!!
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it."
None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought up a guitar. The octopus took hold of the guitar and started picking away, better than Jimi Hendrix. The man took $50 from the guitarist. Next someone brings up a trumpet. The octopus started playing the trumpet, better than Herb Alpert. The man won another $50 from the trumpeter. Then some guy brought up some bagpipes. The octopus picked up the bagpipes for a minute and, looking a little puzzled, set them down again.
"Can't you play the bagpipes?" asked the man. "Play it?" said the octopus, "I'm gonna screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."
QUOTE OF THE DAY
it cant rain all the time...
I have diecided everyday from now on or almost everyday im gonna be doing a joke of the day,also a quote of the day and i will say before it joke of day so here is the first one for August 11th
There was this International Conference on Taxation held in a European Country. The nature of the conference was international sharing of taxation ideas. To make the story short, The French representative said "Everyone in this room should adopt my Country’s taxation system, because in my country we tax our people from child birth to death."
The Conference room exploded in a big applause, because that system will provide great revenue to the country.
But, the Swiss representative stood and said, "That is nothing. Because, in my country we tax our people from womb to tomb! The whole room was clapping louder than before.
An excited Australian, jumped up and said "That is nothing compared to down under, we tax our people from sperm to germ!!
With this, the whole room was in standing ovation and clapping. Several representative
But then, the American representative
AUGUST 11TH QUOTE OF DAY
"gay couples are cute enough as it is, and the concept of a little gay robot couple is unbearably adorable"
QC http://www.que
I am just a piece of shit thats all I am and all Ill ever be
Ive made promises of not cutting but they are just promises I cant keep
I sit back and watch the one I love love someone and i cant do anything about it just watch
It kills me every second to watch it to listen about it
Well Im hom from havre montana I was gone for 10days
The first night was probally the hardest I had to stay at my grandfathers and i dont like my grandfather all that much. I cryed myself to sleep becuz i was really sad and stuff.
2nd night i was with my grandmother
then the couple days pasted and i went to my auntys house in harlem
we went camping and i got eaten alive by miscitos which really sucked we went tubing on the lake which was alot of fun
sunday i went to the pow wow which was fun got to meet my cosion's brothers they seemed kewl
stayed with my aunty for abit
monday I called my friend Darryl I found out that he has lung cancer which scares me to death
I also called my parents and i am going to WILLARD -YAY-
tuesday i stayed with my aunty then went to my grandma stayed the night there
I came home today yay