[a phoenix falling]'s diary

689000  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-10-28
Written: (6806 days ago)
688755  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-10-28
Written: (6806 days ago)

<img:http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/switchie/bitemaul.jpg>

685045  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-10-20
Written: (6814 days ago)
Next in thread: 687040

<img:http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/switchie/SC3.jpg>

684681  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-10-20
Written: (6815 days ago)

<img:http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/switchie/sandracross2.jpg>

682016  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-10-15
Written: (6820 days ago)

μου αφήστε το κερί να καψει και στις δύο σταλαγματιές ends.wax κάτω από το χέρι που holds.it βλάπτει αλλά αυτό είναι τι πρέπει να είναι done.no δεν κερδίζει κανέναν πόνο pleasure.just και αυτήν την σάρκα εγκαυμάτων heartache.flames είτε στα χέρια end.scortched και τις σπασμένες καλές προθέσεις hearts.with ότι πώς πιό αληθινός το μισό κερί δοκιμής starts.the καίει για τη ζωή, και τα άλλα εγκαύματα για τις άκρες death.both που εξασθενίζουν ακριβώς όπως fast.which που κάποιος θα βγεί θάνατος first.does έρχονται ή περνούν ακριβώς by?impossible στο κερί answer.black για το θάνατο, και λευκό για την προσιτότητα ακρών life.both η παλάμη του εγκαύματος φλογών hand.twin μου το δέρμα, και αμέσως και οι δύο παύουν σε be.all που έφυγε είναι κερί στις σκιές grey.death και της ζωής που αναμίχθηκαν στην παλάμη και στ ψε δονε.νο γαην νο πλεασuρε.ιuστ παην ανδ τχης χεαρταθχε.φλαμες ψuρν φλεσχ ατ εητχερ ενδ.σθορτθχεδ χανδς ανδ ψροκεν χεαρτς.ωητχ γοοδ ηντεντηονς τχατ'ς χοω ητ σταρτς.τχε τρuεστ τεστ. χαλφ τχε θανδλε ψuρνς φορ ληφε, ανδ τχε οτχερ ψuρνς φορ δεατχ.ψοτχ ενδς φαδηνγ ιuστ ας φαστ.ωχηθχ ονε ωηλλ γο οuτ φηρστ.δοες δεατχ θομε ορ ιuστ πασς ψυ?ημποσσηψλε το ανσωερ.ψλαθκ ωαξ φορ δεατχ, ανδ ωχητε φορ ληφε.ψοτχ ενδς ρεαθχ τχε παλμ οφ μυ χανδ.τωην φλαμες ψuρν τχε σκην, ανδ ατ ονθε ψοτχ θεασε το ψε.αλλ τχατ'ς λεφτ ης ωαξ ην σχαδες οφ γρευ.δεατχ ανδ ληφε μηξεδ ην τχε παλμ οφ μυ ψuρντ ανδ νuμψεδ χανδ.νοτχηνγ ανσωερεδ, ονλυ μορε quεστηονς χαβε προκυμμένος.



let the candle burn at both ends.
wax drips down the hand that holds.
it hurts but it's what must be done.
no gain no pleasure.
just pain and this heartache.
flames burn flesh at either end.
scortched hands and broken hearts.
with good intentions that's how it starts.
the truest test.
half the candle burns for life,
and the other burns for death.
both ends fading just as fast.
which one will go out first.
does death come or just pass by?
impossible to answer.
black wax for death,
and white for life.
both ends reach the palm of my hand.
twin flames burn the skin,
and at once both cease to be.
all that's left is wax in shades of grey.
death and life mixed in the palm of my burnt and numbed hand.
nothing answered,
only more questions have arisen.






681827  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-10-14
Written: (6820 days ago)

<img:http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a392/beautyisbitter/1.jpg>

here ya go something new:


"THY NAME IS MUSIC"
you say emo rap punk and ska,
but it's so much more than that.
you call me deathmetal hardcore chopped&screwed,
not to be lude, but it's much more than that.
you say rock is dead and progs alive again.
you hear country blues and all that jazz.
still so much more than that.
from classical to soprano.
to the extremese and all in between,
I AM THE MUSIC
you can find me flowing through the veins of young and old,
from the metal kids to the divas with soul.
in men women children and wind.
I am everywhere.
in the water flowing to the crows' cawing.
MUSIC IS MY NAME
from the obscene to the serene.
whether it's the whistle while working or the scream of banshees.
here in all things.
I AM MUSIC I AM EVERYTHING.


let the candle burn at both ends.
wax drips down the hand that holds.
it hurts but it's what must be done.
no gain no pleasure.
just pain and this heartache.
flames burn flesh at either end.
scortched hands and broken hearts.
with good intentions that's how it starts.
the truest test.
half the candle burns for life,
and the other burns for death.
both ends fading just as fast.
which one will go out first.
does death come or just pass by?
impossible to answer.
black wax for death,
and white for life.
both ends reach the palm of my hand.
twin flames burn the skin,
and at once both cease to be.
all that's left is wax in shades of grey.
death and life mixed in the palm of my burnt and numbed hand.
nothing answered,
only more questions have arisen.



alright since I cannot seem to find a job, I am going to start writing poems and what not for a small price....so uh let me know if you want a poem or a verse for a song or whatever....


<img:http://myspace-683.vo.llnwd.net/00216/38/62/216392683_l.jpg>
what's life you can't have a lil fun with it? my bondage hippo



<img:http://www.elfpack.com/img/photo/1230_1125523363.jpg>

here's a poem that was written while listening to Martyr A.D. and watching Tom & Jerry.......you can figure it out....does that make it too obvious that I've done more than my fair share of drugs???

"Black Widow's Beautiful Disease"
this disease inside me is growing.
coursing through me like blood.
with the first kiss it entered my in bliss,
but now this disease called love has taken its toll.
its all consuming like a big black hole.
it's that venom from your kiss that leaves me wanting more,
as this chemical romance leaves me in a trance for days.
when I come back to reality I feel this disease spread.
it fills me with life and hope such a beautiful disease.
with you by my side I can do anything.
anything at all.
I prayed every night for that story book ending.
just you and me walking off into the setting sun.
you've given me the only disease known to man that brings happiness right up until his dying day.
Then one day a lethal dose.
now I'm dying but the smile has yet to fade.
your final lethal dose of love as my fate is sealed with a final kiss.
And I die HAPPY

"he's Alone"
he sits alone late at night.
feeling so alone as he stares at the knife.
stained with blood just like his hands.
his wrist the source.
the blood starts to clot,
and this, this is all he's got.
no one to hold him.
no one to say "it'll be alright".
he fuckin hates it.
but no one ever knows this.
no one ever knows.
and no one will ever care.
so much pain he holds inside.
long ago his soul died.
no resemblence to the man he used to be.
except for the pain he's empty and hollow.
dwelling in the shadows.
feeling nothing but sorrow.
fearing the impending tomarrow.
when he has to face the world.
with the stares of boys and girls.
they're fixated on the scars that aren't quite hidden.
he wonders why he can't just be ill and bed ridden.
his expectations lowered by life.
that's why he returns night after night to this razor sharp knife.
he needs help, but when he asks,
no one lifts a finger.
that's why it turns inward.
mental scars rise to the surface.
his pain so much more than skin deep.
and just as he returns to the knife,
every night he cries.
he screams when the salty tears enter the open wounds.


"barely enough"

I wish from the world I could be locked away.
so I wouldn't have to deal with the agony the torment and the pain.
forgotten by harms way.
so I wouldn't have to have music up loud to drown out the sobbing.
it kills me a little more with each tear that rolls down my cheek.
everybad thing said burned into to memory.
and when something new is added all the memories come back to me.
it's hard to deal, even harder to live.
I hate you dad, more and more with every time you put me down.
but if you were gone I don't know what I'd do.
a wall of sorrow built up so deep in me holding back the hope I need.
there's just a small hole in the wall.
just enough hope gets through to make me still love you.
but even that's getting to mean less and less.
barely enough...


<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/36739_1117146555.jpg>

I'm a poet, people tell me I'm a pretty good poet. I will write you a poem if you ask. sometimes I sound like a smart-ass when being sincere. I have my own view-points on just about everything. I'm an open minded person and very wasy to get along with....



I'd give my life for any of my friends without any hesitation...

people worth talking to...
Prahnee [PrahneeSHARP]-ya know how it used to go ♥
Tabbi [loll]- I'll cook for you someday
Sydney [Dollie VOMIT]-you're still Pengi to me
Kierrah [playboi_bunny18]- lets rock
Kaisha [Kaisha]-love ya
Franchesca [Sad Lonely Angel]-guardian angel
Tae [DeadBear]-cool canadian girl
God [..Poison oak..]- she's jsut god
Jenny [Andy, you're a star]- good to talk to
Audrey [~angel from your nightmares~]-kind and caring
kyoko [/.Backbeat the word was on the {street}]- I'll stay and talk with you
Vix [ephemeralbruise]- we'll figure out what we wanna do someday
Sandra [Nightshade Truth]- meant to...

this pic was drawn by my friend katie
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/36739_1126571128.jpg>
the story starts with a sorrowful soul and end with hope
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/9581_1125981309.jpg>
thank you for this [Nightshade Truth] I love it


a dark and rainy morning
comming up to dawn
a cloud lights up and thunder strikes
another devil born
the rain pours down
to quench the thirst
to feed all natures wild
rain and hail it dropped in bursts
as lonely people frown
a passing of the day
wind now howling through the trees
a world of eternal darkness
as lost souls rustle leaves

above poem courtesy of [maup]


<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/48121_1113150550.jpg> a smile to brighten up my day. yet again courtesy of [Sad Lonely Angel]. thanks for me being here for me, it means so much.....




fear the bunnie!!!!
<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/36739_1125691154.jpg>







I am a A Crimson Dragon!

Hey, I took the http://dragonhame.com online Inner Dragon quiz and found out I am a Crimson Dragon on the inside.

In the war between good and evil, Crimson Dragons take the side of the noble and good....
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos....
As far as magical tendancies, a Crimson Dragon's nature does not lend itself well to the ways of Magic....
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done....
Crimson dragons are closely related to red dragons. They are nearly identical in appearance to reds. Aside from the brighter red scales and some minor facial differences, the only appreciable difference is the black throat of the crimson dragon.'
At greater distances, crimson dragons appear identical to red dragons. Unlike most dragons, the scales of a crimson dragon change little in color throughout their lives. They stay a bright crimson red from birth to old age.'
While crimson dragons resemble red dragons in appearance, their temperament and outlook on life are quite different. While they still tend to hoard treasure, Crimson dragons take the side of good during conflicts between good and evil. A crimson dragon's worst enemy is the evil red dragon, who give them a bad reputation. Combat between the two types are relatively common, and, assuming the combatants are of roughly the same age, these fights are usually quite evenly matched.
'
This Dragons favorite elements are: Roses, Emeralds, and Bravery

http://Dragonhame.Com



<img:http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/36739_1127498644.jpg>

680952  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-10-13
Written: (6822 days ago)

<img:http://myspace-290.vo.llnwd.net/00093/09/22/93122290_s.gif>

680719  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-10-12
Written: (6822 days ago)

sandras poem

When I look in to a mirror
Its not to be vain
But thy eyes that start back at me
Are never quit the same


There are times where their black
As black as pure coal, and seem to lack


There are times where they are honey brown
The sweet kindness of the morn


There are times where they are red
Cold, and evil, like an empty bed


But once have I seen them as blue
A past time, never coming true



but i have brown eyes
so who is it looking back ?

680718  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-10-12
Written: (6822 days ago)

sandras poem

When I look in to a mirror
Its not to be vain
But thy eyes that start back at me
Are never quit the same


There are times where their black
As black as pure coal, and seem to lack


There are times where they are honey brown
The sweet kindness of the morn


There are times where they are red
Cold, and evil, like an empty bed


But once have I seen them as blue
A past time, never coming true



but i have brown eyes
so who is it looking back ?

680448  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-10-12
Written: (6823 days ago)
 The logged in version 

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