I DON'T HAVE CANCER!!!!!!!!!


I do have a serious problem with my thyroid gland, and i will have to undergo several treatments throughout the course of a couple months. 

I also have tonsilitis. My life may seem horrible, but in comparison with what I thought I had, it's perfect. I have never been this happy.


I know that John is probably going insane with all I have dropped on him lately. I just know, I love him!!

He behaved the perfect way, when I told him what I thought I might have. I just know, that he could never do anything to lose my trust or love ever again.

I am so sick of watching movies. and I am SICK of being alone. I just want to go back to school and pretend that nothing ever happened.

I am very scared...

I don't know what to do...


ok I was sitting ther getting my neck checked because I think I have tonsilitis, but see I have had so many sore throats that they finally decided to send me to an Ear, nose, and throat doctor. But this time, they came up with somethign altogether different.


They think I have Thyroiditis, but see, only people who don't have a thyroid problem can get it. I already have one, and am being treated for it, I shouldn't have it. Which means if i do have it, then it can get really bad.
They said if it gets bad enough it could lead to a goiter, or possibly even cancer of the thyroid. I am getting X rays and Ultra sounds and everythign done to make sure i don't have cancer already. What a freaking thought.


Cancer.

God that's a heart stopper, and all I wanted, all I want is to get my tonsils taken out. I didn't need that. That's like stabbing me through the back.

I haven't even told my parents yet. I can't. It just...

if I say the words, aloud, then it might be real, and if it's real, then...


I don't know what I am going to do. I checked it online. I have all the symptoms, but... I already had my thyroid fixed, how can I get it again?

I have been doing anything to keep from thinking about it. It's too, heart breaking as it were, and it's just not fair.

I only wanted my tonsils out so I could stop being sick. Now, I just want to get through all the tests.

You know the wierd thing? This whole incident has made me turn back into what i was. Strong. I haven't cried since I found it out. Then again it could also be because it still hasn't hit me yet. I hope it never does...

What's worse is that I want someone to talk to about this. I want to badly to talk to someone about it, but I can't. I might realize the truth about it all if I talked about it. It just... isnt' fair. Everyone else has the perfect life and I have done nothing wrong! I just keep getting the shit hand in life. Excuse the language. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to be better. Yeah, maybe if I am a good enough person, it'll all go away.

Ok that's it. From today on... I am going to stop being bad altogether.

No more lying, though i have been quitting that as of late,
No more talking meanly abotu people, but i have also been trying to stop that too.

but most of all


No more swearing, sex, gambling, cheating etc... *Though you all should know I don't do most of that, cept the swearing, but it's just... I will stop everything, cept the sex of course (I am kidding!!!!)


I needed to lighten the mood, in fact I think I am gonna watch a movie...

i know that those of you who watch my page such as Wes, and Scott, and etc... will see that there is mroe than one diary entry but i jus had to make it personal and secret, i thought better of what i said

Remember Me This Way

Every now and then
We find a special friend
who never lets us down...

Who understands it all
reaches out each time we fall
you're the best friend i have found...

I know you can't stay
a part of you will never ever go away
your heart will stay.....

I'll make a wish for you,
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
if you lose your way,
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

I don't need eyes to see
the love you bring to me,
no matter where I go
and I know that you'll be there
forever-more a part of me and everywhere
I'll always care.....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true,
if life will just be kind,
to such a gentle mind,
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way,
remember me this way.

and I'll be right behind your shoulder,watching you
I'll be standing by your side, all you do
and I won't ever leave
as long as you believe,
you just believe....

I'll make a wish for you
and hope it will come true
if life will just be kind
to such a gentle mind
and if you lose your way
think back on yesturday
remember me this way
remember me this way.




Break me

I will meet you
In some place
Where the light lends itself
To soft repose
I will let you undress me
But I warn you
I have thorns like any rose

You could hurt me
With your bare hands
You could hurt me
Using the sharp end of what you say
But I’m lost to you now
And there’s no amount of reason
That could save me

Chorus:
So break me
Take me
Just let me feel your arms again
Break me
I’ll let you make me
Just let me feel your love again

Feels like being underwater
Now that I’ve let go
And lost control
Water kisses fill my mouth
Water fills my soul

Chorus

Bridge:
Kiss me once
Well, maybe twice
Oh, it never felt so nice

Chorus

Just let me feel your love again

I am so wierd right now, and it all seems to hurt so much more than it used to.

I am watching the movie Enough, it's about a man who hits and cheats on his wife.

I need it right now, I need to feel like my life is better than someone's right now.

For some reason, I feel so ugly, unwanted, and very unspecial.


I just want someone to make a big deal over me, I want someone to think that I am someone special.

I just want to feel like I am not someone people overlook, and lately it seems more and more i have been over looked.

I apprieciate the fact that people care about me and don't want to upset me, but i just wish that everyone would just do something! Anything!

I am so depressed lately, that I don't care anymore, I could take everyone's spare time, and money and I just want to feel better, I want to be happy!

ok i really like this movie, The Bone Collector, with Denzel Washington, it's bloddy but it's got a great plot to it.

You know, I think I am getting better about handling TV blood, not my own, or anyone else's REAL blood, just the fake stuff that I can tell myself is really fake.

ok I still look away, but I have *nearly puked* less often, so that's something isn't it?

ok this is cool, sort of and it made me happy a little cuz the girl I borrowed it from had funny answers...

THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
1. Violence toward me or someone I care about
2. Relationships
3. The thought that I will get left behind by those I care about


THREE THINGS THAT I DON’T UNDERSTAND:
1. Me
2. Physics! URG!
3. the concept of fate


THREE THINGS THAT I'D LIKE TO LEARN:
1. Why I do the things I do?
2. How do you go about not being jealous?
3. how I can change


THREE THINGS THAT I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Make up
2. clothes
3. and a hair tie


THREE THINGS THAT ARE ON MY DESK:
1. Homework
2. College aplications
3. My Scrapbooks


THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. Make something out of myself, no offense to anyone, but I don't want to be my parents.
2. I want to be able to write again. I want to finsh my book.
3. Get Married on a beach with white sand and a light blue sun dress type gown. Very small wedding.


THREE WAYS TO EXPRESS MY PERSONALITY:
1. Jaded yet still hopeful
2. Compassionate even when I shouldn't be
3. Drama Queen, enough said,


THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT ME:
1. I overreact to most everything
2. I am jealous
3. I am a liar, *I lie only if it is to protect someone else's feelings, mine, or when I get pissed off*


THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. French *my father's grand parents*
2. Irish * my grandma's parents*
3. Cherokee * My mother's grandmother was full blooded*


THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY:
1. MY EYES!!!!
2. My curvy figure
3. My hands


THREE THINGS I DON’T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
1. hmmmm.... my love handles
2. my scars
3. my thighs


THREE THINGS PEOPLE DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU:
1. My Past
2. Who I really am
3. That I am completely scared of everything and nothing and anything that has to do with friends, love, any type of relationship


THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. I am sorry ( I mess up a lot)
2. okie dokie
3. I can do that


THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO:
1. Away from here
2. Florence, Italy
3. Andes Mountains, Argentina, South America


THREE NAMES THAT YOU GO BY:
1. Sara
2. Sar (pronounced Sare)
3. and baby

I did something really dumb, and I don't know any way i can fix it.

I say I have changed but I haven't, I am still the manipulative, slutty bitch I was months ago and it hurts to realize this.

I lost someone I care about, not in a death sense but it might as well be, he won't talk to me and he is in the right on this one.

I fucked up really big. Bigger than i ever thought I could have...



Pulsing currents
Pounding waves
I can feel it in my bones
the way I tried so hard
I breathe beneath the million thoughts
surging through my head
creeping through my heart
I can see the silkiness
feel the warm liquid on my fingertips
Pain throbs through my chest
I am too stubborn
too egotistical
I want too much...
Slash
Rip
Tear
I can feel myself shaking under the weight
of cold unfeeling metal
I am losing thoughts
Losing me
Maybe I should lose me
I do not seem to help anyone
I cannot even help myself

MWA HAHAHAHAHHA I am sitting on my friend's computer *boyfriend* and I am messing around with it (he is in the shower) so I am sitting here, typing the same way I do at my house if for the only reason that I don't know how to mess around.... Man this sucks.... I am bored *hears the shower turn off* YAY!!!!!!!!!

I am sitting here in my mother's house with my wet hair leaving a wet patch on my back. It is so odd to be sitting here. So many things have changed and I am still stuck here, trapped in the moment.

I am not sad. I am simply me right now, trapped in my own past.

I am leaving tomorrow morning but the morning still seems so far away!

Here this discribes my personality


WOOT I AM A SAGITTARIUS!! clown of the zodiac!


Sagittarians have a positive outlook on life, are full of enterprise, energy, versatility, adventurousness and eagerness to extend experience beyond the physically familiar. They enjoy travelling and exploration, the more so because their minds are constantly open to new dimensions of thought. They are basically ambitious and optimistic, and continue to be so even when their hopes are dashed. Their strongly idealistic natures can also suffer many disappointments without being affected. They are honorable, honest, trustworthy, truthful, generous and sincere, with a passion for justice. They are usually on the side of the underdog in society they will fight for any cause they believe to be just, and are prepared to be rebellious. They balance loyalty with independence.
Sagittarians are ardent, sincere and straightforward in love, normally conventional and in control of their sexual natures. Yet if thwarted, they may easily allow their failure to embitter their whole lives or they may revenge themselves upon the opposite sex by becoming cynically promiscuous. They are more apt then the average to make an uncongenial alliance. If their marriages are successful, they will be faithful spouses and indulgent parents; but their innate restlessness will inspire them to use even the most satisfying ménage as a base from which to set out on their travels. They need to feel free and are often faced with the choice of allowing their careers to take over their lives at the expense of the love of their spouse and family. Sagittarian women are the counterparts of their men; even if they have no career to rival their love, they find it difficult to express affection and may run the risk of being thought frigid.
In other personal relationships they are reliable, seldom betraying any trust given to them. They can, however, be impulsively angry and both male and female Sagittarians know how to be outspoken and exactly what expressions will hurt their adversaries most. On the other hand they are magnanimous in forgiving offenses and are responsible when looking after the elderly in the family.
The vices to which Sagittarians are prone are anger they tend to flare up over trifles; impatience - they want to rush every new project through immediately and demand too much of colleagues who cannot work at the pace they require; and scorn of the inadequacies of others while expecting fulsome recognition of their own efforts. They may in one sense deserve recognition, because in completing a major project they will sacrifice their health and family relationships; in their family's eyes they may merit condemnation.


DO YOU LIKE-
1)Giving hugs?: Yes, PDA is the best part of a relationship
2)Taking walks in the rain?: Yes, I love the rain
3)Reincarnation: yeah, it's nice, that way no way ever really dies
4)Going on stage?: Heck Ya! I'm a star!
5)Drink: no way, I hate the taste of alcohol and my family is full of alcoholics
6)Smoke: And make my teeth all yellow? No thanks.
7)Drugs: I get enough pleasure from my own twisted mind, I don't need anything else wrong in my brain
8)Eat meat: depends
9)Insomnia: When I have someone to talk to *smiles*
10)Eat a lot: not really, I don't like eating.
11)Sleep a lot: Not really, goes with my insomnia
12)Eat sushi: yeah, it's ok
13)Get motion: Motion what? Huh? I am so lost…
14)Get along with your parents: No, I love them to pieces but no, I don't get along very well. I want to leave them.
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WHO DO YOU WANT TO AND WHY-
---------------------------------------------
Hear from: um… this guy [baked420] I met on elftown a couple month ago, he isn't talking to me anymore because I was having a bad day and I said a lot of stuff I didn't mean and I would like to apologize
Get really wasted with: I don't like drinking
Look like: ME!!!! I love my looks, I am not really gorgeous, but I am not ugly either
Be like: My sister Joanie… she is beyond words…
Avoid: My sister Heather, we don't get along at all, actually I think she hates me and that works for me…

HAVE YOU EVER-
1)Dated one of your best friends: Yes, it was the smartest thing I have ever done
2)Loved/Liked: right now? Yes, I am in love and he is perfect, before I thought I was in love before and realized I was in love with love, I'm waiting for someone who wants me, but wants me to be me at the same time, also I have this thing about dating cute/hot guys… I have standards and I know that sounds wrong, but you have to pass the cute test to date me…
3)Cried: Too many times
4)Drank alcohol: Enough to know I don't like it
5)Done drugs: Never
6)Broken the law: More than enough to know that I should know better
7)Broken a bone: Not really, once when I was in 7th grade I sprained my ankle really bad and told everyone I'd broken it and I was such a great actress I even fooled the doctors and their x-rays *you'll have to ask me how* so they said i broke it and put a cast on it
8)Cheated on a test: I don't anymore, but everyone makes mistakes
9)Skinny dipped: Yeah, I never had so much fun
10)Played Truth or Dare: All the time
11)Ridden in a fire truck: I wish… that would be so awesome
12)Come close to dying: umm…. One time I was driving home and the light turned green as I was coming down the hill and there was someone on my left and the lady makes a right turn right in front of me, I pulled my emergency brake and she skidded to the side of the road and I was an inch away.
13)Cheated on your boy/girlfriend: Yes, but I felt guilty for days and days and days after and I have never done it since
14)Given someone a piggy back/shoulder ride: My brother, he loved shoulder rides when we were little
15)Eaten a worm/mud pie: nope, I was always the one making them and throwing them, but I have a very high euk policy I don't put anything in my mouth I am not sure of…
16)Stayed up till four on the phone: Does the internet count? If so then yeah twice, and they were the last couple days
17)Tipped over a port-a-potty: nope, that is so gross
18)Fell asleep while eating: um… yeah, what was worse is that it was on my first date with a guy I used to really like* if you want to know I might say more*
19)Met someone famous: Nope
20)Been in a school play: No, but I was in a college play as a High School Junior and I do actual theater plays…
21)Cried in public: Yeah, and the news crews had it on camera
22)Seen someone die: too many times

ARE YOU...
---------------------------------------------
A vegetarian?: nope, physically can't be one either, *I'll explain only if you ask*
Good grades?: yeah I guess, I don't really work that hard in school,
A good student?: Teachers loved me, if that counts
Good at sports?: Depends which sport it is
A good singer?: um… you decide
A good actor/actress?: Heck yeah!
A deep sleeper?: Definitely, when I manage to get to sleep, cept I always wake with the sun, not matter how much sleep I got the night before
A good dancer?: You better believe it
Shy? Depends on who I'm talking to and what I am talking about
Outgoing?: Mostly
A good storyteller?: I think so
---------------------------------------------
Random questions
---------------------------------------------
{x} Fallen for your best friend? I refuse to answer this question based on the fifth amendment
{x} Made out with JUST a friend? No, not technically, well, maybe, ok yeah once, or twice, or more, but that was it
{x} Been rejected? A lot
{x} Been in love? Too many times
{x} Been in lust? WAY too many times
{x} Used someone? Yes, and I felt horribly afterward
{x} Been used? Yes, enough to know I don't like it
{x} Cheated on someone?Yes, I still feel crummy about it though, I am so horrible, I will never do it again
{x} Been cheated on? I don't know…
{x} Done something you regret? Yeah, I've done A LOT of things to regret
{x} Considered a life of crime? Once in a while
{x} Considered being a hooker? Once, a long time ago 2 hours and 23 minutes and counting, lol, no but I seriously considered it
{x} Considered being a pimp? Not really
{x} Are you psycho? Yes.
{x} Split personalities? Sometimes
{x} Schizophrenic? Depends on how my day is going
{x} Obsessive? Very.
{x} Obsessive compulsive? Sometimes
{x} Dream of dead bodies, blood, death, and gore? I have been having horrible night mares!
{x} Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them? *blushes* yeah a couple times
{x} Understanding: I'd like to think so
{x} Open-minded: Yes, hopefully
{x} Arrogant: Most of the time
{x} Insecure: Some of the time
{x} Interesting: As far as I know.
{x} Hungry: No, actually I'm stuffed, unless we weren't talking about food…
{x} Friendly: Yes, very
{x} Smart: Heck yeah… 148 IQ
{x} Moody: A lot of the time
{x} Childish: Very
{x} Independent: It all depends…
{x} Hard working: I'd like to think so but I doubt it…
{x} Organized: No way.
{x} Healthy: Yes.
{x} Emotionally stable: not really
{x} Shy: yes I can be. So stop asking.
{x} Difficult: no *ignore above statement*
{x} Attractive: Well I think I'm very attractive and the voices in my head agree.
{x} Bored easily: Yes unfortunately, ALL the time
{x} Thirsty: Yeah a little
{x} Responsible: Maybe
{x} Sad: Not right now
{x} Happy: Yes
{x} Trusting: a little Naïve, but I TRY not to trust people, you get hurt that way
{x} Talkative: When I want to be and with who I want to talk to
{x} Original: Are you kidding? Of course…
{x} Different: Duh!
{x} Unique: Do you see a pattern here? Yes.
{x} Lonely: quite often
{x} Color your hair? I've done it twice, once I got highlights and lately I just made it a little lighter and I love it!
{x} Floss daily? I try to
{x} Own a web cam? Yes,
{x} Ever get off the damn computer? Yes, when I am not trapped inside all day for fear of hard labor
---------------------------------------------
Currents
---------------------------------------------
{x} Current Annoyance: Dumb people
{x} Current Favorite Group: huh? I am so lost
{x} Current DVD In Player: Random Hearts
{x} Current Worry: That I will smother someone i care about
{x} Current Crush: No crush, to have a crush would be to imply that they don't know about it, so I have no crush, lol
{x} Current Favorite Celebrity: None right now

On Dating:
---------------------------------------------
{x} Long or short hair? Short, but long enough to grab and I just love it when it's spiked, it's just such a turn on for me
{x} Dark or blond hair? I like both, dark hair is mysterious and sexy but blonde is okay too
{x} Tall or short? They have to be taller than 5'6”
{x} Ms/Mr Sensitive or Ms/Mr Funny? I want both, but the one I'm more likely to love being around is Mr funny
{x} Good or bad? It depends, I really like nice guys, but I am not a very nice person and they usually don't want me
{x} Dark or light eyes?: Dark, and they have to express something to me, I love looking into people's eyes
{x} Fear of commitment/ fear of abandonment?for me or them? I know I have a fear of commitment, but I want them to have a fear of abandonment, because I want someone I can trust not to leave me when I begin to trust them
{x}Mr tough guy/ Mr Sensitive? Honestly? I like a little roughness, but then again, I love it when guys treat you like you might break, so if I had to choose, I would go with the tender one...
---------------------------------------------
More Stuff…
---------------------------------------------
33. Color of room: What? My bedroom? If you want to see it ask me
34. Color of carpet: refer to above
35. Room size: medium, I guess I could talk a little about it
36. Bed size: um big? I dunno
37. Sheet colors: Blue and I only have two! Wah I am so cold
38. How many pillows: 1 pillows but sometimes none, I don't like pillows
41. Shirt size: um… whatever size I'm wearing, I think Small to a medium if I want it to fit nicely
43. What's in your room: A beautiful Huge mirror vanity chest, which is so beautiful, and a dresser
44. Kind of computer: um… the kind my father builds me, a laptop.
45. Color computer: black
47. Money in bank account: 155.94
48. Posters in room: Oedipus Rex, *a play I was in*, Getting out *another play I was in* Harry Potter *it was free*, and Monster Inc *need I say more?* Swim team poster I got after we won league, and my drawing of a clown even though clown dolls scare the crap out of me…

Favorites-
1)Girl names: Sierra, it's just so pretty
2)Boy names: um, lemmie think, I like Walker, just cuz I knew a boy in 5th grade named walker and it was the street i lived on most of my life *well at my dad's house anyways*
3)CD: I don't buy CDs
4)Scent: Soap and various boy-smells like guy perfume, oh boy how that stuff gets to me, I love it when they smell just clean, no perfume of anything, but perfume is great too
5)Emotion: Happiness? No wait, Contentment and utter boredom, now that is my favorite. *An Inside joke so unless you know, don't ask*
6)Texture: unshaven beard, i don't know i just love how rough it feels
7)Thing to do: Um… Ask me sometime
8)Place: Forests, and jungles I love Jungles
9)Book: Fahrenheit 451, I want a copy for my b-day!!!!!!!!
10)Subject: Chemistry
11)Shampoo: Suave
12)Drink: lemonade and Coke no ice
13)Store: Hot Topic *care bear stuff*, and Spencers *it's funny*
14)Fast food: I don't like fast food, ok I do, but in moderation
15)Breakfast food: I hate the smell of hot oil, I don't eat waffles or pancakes, so anything else is fine
16)Sound: Rain
17)Snack: I dunno, food?
18)Thing to do with friends: Depends on who I'm with, and how much money I don't have, lol
19)Brand of shoes: whatever is cheap
20)Gum: Extra Classic Bubble gum
21)Socks: those ones that don't go over the shoe line yeah I love those, i only have three pairs though
22)Flavor of Kool-Aid: um… pink lemonade?
23)Favorite Pop: Pop What? popsicles? It's called Soda, hel-lo… *Coke no ice*
24)Flavor of Jolly Rancher: sour apple!!!
25)Person: Joanie Baumgartner
26)Actor: Mel Gibson and Denzel Washington
27)Actress: Julia Roberts
28)Female singer: Nelly Furtado
29)Male singer: Depends on my mood


DO YOU Believe in-
1.Ghosts: Yes, one stalked me at my old house, at 3:06am every morning it would open my door. It couldn't have been the wind because you have to really yank to get the door open.
2.Satan: Yes, for every good there is an evil and I believe in God
3.Heaven: I am there
4.Hell: Yes, I used to live there, just kidding, mainly
5.The afterlife: There has to be something after- life right? lol I made a pun, no but seriously death cannot be the end to exsistance, otherwise why are we living in the first place?
6.Love at first sight: Yes, I knew the minute I saw my friend that he was wonderful, maybe not love, but deep intense like the minute I saw him.

---------------------------------------------
Which ONE?
---------------------------------------------
7.Sneakers/sandals: sandals.
8.DVD/VHS: DVD
9.Pepsi/Coke: Coke, duh!
10.Straight/gay: straight, completely straight
11.Summer/winter: Fall, I don't really like either, oh it's in the next question, um then in that case, um, winter?
12.Spring/fall: Fall, but of course
13.Siblings/only child: Siblings, too many
14.Movies/TV: Movies, I don't like tv shows
15.Chocolate/vanilla: Niether? I don't like vanilla but I don't really like chocolate either unless it is an oreo
16.Juice/pop: popsicles? I thought we had this discussion
17.Chill/party: Party
18.Draw/write: Draw, always ready to draw, I don't write anymore
19.Night/day: Night, I love the moon so much more than the sun
20.Capris/shorts: shorts, I hate being hot
21.Make-up/barefaced: As pathetic as it sounds I feel uncomfortable without a little makeup but I don't go all out with it either, that is just weird.
22.Shower/bath: Bath… soak away your troubles
23.Food/drink: Drink
24.Drive/walk: I LOVE to drive!!!!!!!
25.Pink/purple: purple I guess
26.Red/blue: BLUE!!!
27.Scared/nervous: Neither but if I have to pick one I'll go with nervous.
28.Mad/sad: neither, but once again maybe mad I guess, I want to thorw things I hate being grounded


THE PRESENT
---------------------------------------------
1.What are you doing right now: Answering these questions what do you think I am doing?
2.Are you listening to music:nope
3.If so what song: I am so bored by Sara enterprises
4.What is in your CD player: No music right now, they would make me get up and lift heavy objects and I don't feel good
5.Who are you talking to: No one at the moment, otherwise I wouldn't be here
6.Are you wearing nail polish: Yes and no I was a while ago but it's faded, i need to do that today
7.The current time: 11:07 AM
8.What are you wearing: black and white striped dress pants and a columbine hoodie
9.What are you thinking right now:Man alive, there are men alive in here *simpsons* I am so bored I am actually answering this thing
10.Eating/drinking: nope, not in a wile
---------------------------------------------


THE FUTURE
1.What do you want to be: I don't know, somerthing with acting?
2.Where do you wanna live: I don't care, as long as it isn't here
3.Who do you want to marry: Mr. Right
4.Do you want to get married: I am not quite sure anymore
5.Do you want to have kids: yes, not in the current future
6.If so, how many: 5, hopefully, I want a big family
7.If you could marry anyone, who would it be: I have never really wanted to be married, but I have been thinking about it lately, *someone proposed to this girl during luch at our school* I don't think it would be all that bad actually, but I don't know i have a lot of reservations
---------------------------------------------
LAST TiME YOU
1.Smiled: When [Phoxx] and I were joking around which was about an hour or so ago
2.Cried: Wensday night
3.Spoke: um last night, I am surpirsed but I haven't said anything since I got up this morning
4.Ate: about 14 or 17 hours ago?
5.Sang: about 2 days ago
6.Stared at a picture: about a day ago
7.Read a book for pleasure: months ago, I have been to busy to read,
8.Got totally wasted: Never have
9.Yelled: When my sister and I got into a fight
10.Showered: Last night
11.Brushed your teeth: last night, but i just got up, lol

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HAVE YOU EVER
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1.Smoked a cigarette: Yes.
2.Smoked a cigar: No.
3.Snorted coke: Never.
4.Smoked Weed: Never.
5.Been high: Never.
6.Had sex: um… I don't want to answer that…
7.Said "I hope you die" to someone: Not lately. I say “Burn in hell” but I never mean it.
8.Tried to kill someone: Well, um… once
9.Tried to kill yourself: Yes, but I don't want to talk about it
10.Got in a fist fight: Not recently
11.Lied to your parents: not today!
12.Given someone a bruise: I give bruises all the time, lol
13.Ditched someone: once at a kingsoopers but we went back after ten minutes...
14.Freak danced: Not lately
15.Stole something: Yes and I was too good, never been caught, but I don't do it anymore.
16.Cut yourself: Yes, but I don't want to talk about it
17.Skipped school: Yes, all the time, I don't really like school
18.Hung up on someone: Yes, I get very emotional and I get embarrassed and I hang up to keep from screaming or looking like an idiot
19.Threw up at school: Once, a long time ago, I don't like to think about it
20.Done someone else's make-up: Course, I'm a girl
21.Kissed someone of the same sex: unfortunately I did once a long time ago
22.Had a burping contest: Yes, and my friend Chad won, but I got second place!
23.Snuck out: Nope, if I am not allowed to go, I don't, but they don't have to always know where I went when I went somewhere…
24.Been to a school dance: I love Dancing
25.Thought your teacher was hot: No! If you ever saw my teachers you would understand



I just found the coolest site

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!

Purgatory

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You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.


Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Level | Score
Purgatory | Very High
Level 1 - Limbo | Moderate
Level 2 | High [*Ok I am blushing now*]
Level 3 | Low
Level 4 | Very Low
Level 5 | Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis | Very Low
Level 7 | High [* I don't know where this came from*]
Level 8- the Malebolge | Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus | Low

Level descriptions: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-information.html
Take the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv


Ok, now I don't agree with the dependant thing, but I will agree I am completely narcissistic…

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/disorder_information2.html