[wolf of angels]'s diary

769914  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-03-28
Written: (6614 days ago)
Next in thread: 784746, 784748

Another day.
iT's beautiful. I met a kid named Craig while I was at the hospital with my brother.
He was there for suicidal tendencies and I wonder why the hell any one could do that.
Everyone has thought about it sure.

I never knew my real father until I was 6. I was lied to all those years into thinking my brothers family was my own. Imagine the shock of knowing everything you thought was yours everything you know and love is not really there. I haven't spoken with any one from that memory since the day I met my reall father.

My mother told me strait to my face that everyday I live, I make her want to kill herself.

My step-father is a drunk. He hit my brother then my mother told my not to say anyhting when the cop showed up or he would go to jail. I didn;t say anything.

My mother is bi-polar. I love her mean side.

I feel that life is a dream and when we die is when we wake up

I am a perfect balance between good and evil.

I hate my friends and they'll never know.

I feel that people are always forgeting about me.

I am insecure to the point where I can't walk into a store without my brother because I think too much of what everyong thinks of me.

I hate motorcycles.

School is my second home.

I keep secrets from everyone. They'll never know.

I am a cutter.

I was raped when I was 5.



All this and I am still not suicidal.@>------

761336  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-10
Written: (6631 days ago)

1.At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2.Page yourself over the intercom, don't disguise your voice.
3.Every time people ask you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4.Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5.Put decaff in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine additions, switch to espresso.
6.in the memo field of all of your checks write "for sexual favors"
7.Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy"
8.Don't use any punctuation marks
9.As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10.Ask people what sex they are. Laugh after they answer.
11.specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
12.Sing along at the opera.
13.Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14.Put mosquito netting around your work area and play a tape of jungle sounds.
15.Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood
16.Have your friends address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Devon.
17.When the money comes out the ATM, scream,”I won, I won, 3rd time this week!"
18.When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot screaming,” run for your lives, they’re loose!"
19.Tell your children over dinner,” Due to the economy we are going to have to let one of you go

761327  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-10
Written: (6631 days ago)

So it's another day. My boyfriend loves me and my friends are still my friends and everything seems right, but it's not. I'm moving to a new house. I've moved in and I love it but everything is still packed and I'm sharing a room with my pugnacious little sister. I love her to death but I'm gonna be a little whinning brat and complain. I have no place to sit in silence and simply think as I always do. I have no place to cut without the worry of her walking in. She's only 7 and may not understand, but I won't risk tramatizing her.

I always feel that everything around me is not real. Like life is a dream and I can't stop thinking about this movie I watched called the waking life which debates whether life is real or just a dream. My mother shoots it down as if it's nothing and my father thinks to much.

I live half with mom and half with dad now. It's every 3 days I switch back and forth. I hate it but it's what I said I wanted in court so now I live with it. My dad isn't as great as I thought he'd be and my mother's time is spent inn chores and rumors and lies and defeat.

I need serenity.

510046  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-01
Written: (7006 days ago)

debating and arguing are all i hear life in itself seems so dear. what's this world coming to when all anyone does is beat on you. 

483422  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-01-30
Written: (7036 days ago)
Next in thread: 483455

sick of life but not enough to be suicidal lol

191113  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2004-04-11
Written: (7330 days ago)

I'm tring to get some people to talk to me. I feel lonely at elftown. send me a message so I know that you know i exist. you people make me feel sad.

 The logged in version 

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