I am a decent writer. Good, even.
I need to be better.

*inferiority complex*

More Japanese music! Mika's fault again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RxOhJusrDI&NR=1

Wtf one of my nude stock photos was reported? WTF?

Your deviation, listed below, has been made temporarily unavailable from deviantART due to it containing nudity or a model of questionable age, and therefore we require a Model Release Form

Uh, well, I'm pretty darn sure I marked it as containing nudity so... Questionable age? Wtf? >_<
*sigh* Apparently I look a bit too young... And some douchebag didn't get that I was modeling myself. For chrissakes... *goes bitch to Help Desk*

If you're at all open to music in Japanese, check out Shiina Ringo. Mika (the friend from the previous entry) played some of her songs for me and now I'm quite hooked.
YouTube link for the lazy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIg0bgzQs30

Failed the phonetics exam. >_<
Which is... just... pathetic. I mean, even with guesswork, it should still be pretty hard to get enough answers wrong - it was a true/false type of exam, fifty claims... and... uuuungh.
This is not good for my mental state. I've been unsteady enough lately without this sort of thing. Then again, the unsteadiness is probably what caused me to fail... No energy to study means bigger chance of flunking.
I just hope I'll pass the Finnish structures exam of this morning. If not, I... gah.
And then there's that Writing Skills course. Oh, gods, the Writing Skills. If my first essay was bad, the second one was worse, and I turned it in a day too late. Maybe it'll get better if I could just find some focus somewhere... maybe...

Please can I just die? Or disappear. Either works for me.
Of course, what I really need is a good long cuddle. I was momentarily comforted by going to see a... sort-of friend. Had a bit of a cry, listened to music, drank tea. Just chatted. And I hugged him before I left (to finish the darn essay), the memory of which kept me going until around the time I saw Mikko. Mood started going downwards from there, and then there were the exam results and. Yeah. Even Pronunciation class didn't cheer me up, and usually classes with Ian are the high points of my day.

So. I.
Need to get over how pretty Mikko is. The crush is detrimental to my mental health. (Hmm, repetition there. Interesting.)
Have to find out when I can re-take the phonetics exam and actually study for it.
Should try to shape up a bit in Writing Skills.
Need a friend I can be open with. Now my hunger for affection and the separation anxiety is just killing me. I hope the aforementioned person won't mind a Lami-shaped clingy thing in his life.

Uh. Yeah.
Uni is lovely, but my mood swings are worse now than what they have been in the last year or two, and my studies suffer for it.

I has a T-shirt design, lol. It's terribly cheesy, but maybe - just maybe - someone will like it enough to buy one. :P
http://www.redbubble.com/people/linderel/clothing/1814792-2-beautiful-flower

This is supposed to be a good piece? This?
I think I must crash them back down to earth. Structure, description, dialogue, everything is second-rate. I'll just have to be a little less harsh when I actually comment...
Contains lesbian erotica, do not view if (for some peculiar reason) icked by it.
http://b3nwa.deviantart.com/art/Teacher-s-pet-94705870

Drank two mugs of coffee today (okay, yesterday), which I almost never do. Might not be good for my stomach. Then I got a nosebleed for the third time in as many days, and of course I couldn't help swallowing some of that. Not a happy camper yo.
No villanelle this weekend. No making sense of PayPal, either. Well, this week, maybe?

Oh, and I'm supposed to write a 900-word essay on Scummy Man for Writing Skills by Tuesday morning, and I haven't even watched the damn thing yet. Anyone seen it? I'm interested in hearing people's views.

PayPal is making my head ache.
That might also have something to do with the fact that it's five in the morning, but let's not bother ourselves with details. Instead... I think I'll just go to bed and try to make some sense out of PP later. <_<

Some things I just hate about dA.
It's goddamn heavy. Takes forever to load anything. Sometimes, it doesn't show me the contents of a gallery.
Oh, and it eats submissions! You submit them, everything's fine, but they're not there! And if you want to upload them again you'll have to use another name because dA'll say you have a submission by that name already. Hate hate hate hate.

*fumes*

Lami is a happy kitten. =^___^=

1. Damn Seagulls are releasing their third album next February, and the first single from that album will be out during this month.
2. English Phonetics starts on Tuesday, so now I'll have lessons with Ian almost every day (Phonetics Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Pronunciation Thursdays and Fridays).
3. There are a ton of interesting courses that I want to take. Uni = love.

Bweeeeeeeeeee.

I made myself mature content banners for WritersCo. :o
(Thanks to [Jitter] for helping me with the blood spatter brushes!)
Now I only have to write something that I'd actually need them for. xD

I'm shadowing my own contest!

No, really. I decided to write my own stuff for the fourth round of Portfolio Contest. Just not sure where I should post them, aside from my usual wikis. Anyhow, I'm tossing the link here: Wildflower. Read and leave feedback plx?

Also, I have way too many notes in my sidebar. Among other things is a poetry contest that never got launched. Would any of you possibly be interested in participating in Strangers?

Want to die now, kthx. Totally locked up, so it was less of a presentation and more of a discussion. Whyyyy must I be so broken.

Presentation on Eveline in about an hour. I am so dead.

So much angst in the House season 4 finale. ;_;
Makes me saaaaad.

Well, that was an interesting experience.

Escorted Laura to the train (she left already ;_;) and figured that since it's too late for any buses to go in this city anymore - it was about midnight when the train left - I might as well walk. Brilliant idea that turned out to be.

Not.

At first it was alright, no problems, but then I started getting confused about where to turn. Not quite as easy following the bus route as I'd imagined. I walked past Mikko's apartment building around 1 a.m., at this point beginning to get rather anxious, but decided not to bother him and carried on anyway. Then, about an hour later, I had to admit that it was completely hopeless to continue or I'd wander around for hours more, and turned back - decision made easier by the fact that I'd apparently gone in a bit of a circle. So I pushed the call button (fortunately the right one), told him I was lost and asked him to help, and got let in. Then I spent the next hour on his sofa feeling utterly miserable and tired and bleh.

At this point, I'm kind of hoping he'll let me crash on said sofa for the rest of the night, but then after a bit of cursing and exclaiming and examining of timetables and maps, he decides to walk me to my apartment. This, of course, makes me feel even more lousy since I absolutely hate being a bother to anyone - I really wouldn't have gone to his place if I had any options - but either way, I find myself walking and chatting with him. And now I'm here.

I still feel sort of guilty, though he says he probably would have stayed up till the morning anyway, and that he really wouldn't have wanted me walking alone at this time of the night. So. Meh. I hope he gets at least some sleep.

So, children, the lesson here? Never ever try walking to your flat in the middle of the night in a strange city. Unless it's actually close.

Another school shooting. Joy.

A little late with this, but I was suddenly inspired to do it. :P

Dear [Triola]:

I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a loser. I think I realized it when your dog ran amok with George Bush and his wife and I saw you sit on my father. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks. I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of the apartment building.

Greetings to your freaky family,
Lami.

.... XD

Dear (the last person who left a comment on your journal):

I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister


2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes


3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife


4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out


5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk


6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed


7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks


8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service


9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college


10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked


11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics


12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

Because I love a blue sky.

Autumnal azure
swallows up each of my griefs
carries it away