Argh. Anxiety attack. Stress panic flail. I excel at self-sabotage and this is the price for it.
edit: Lulz. Merriam-Webste
Word of the Day for April 27th, 2009
dossier
a collection or file of documents on the same subject, esp. a complete file containing detailed information about a person or topic.
http://diction
Words from [Teufelsweib]: assimilate, addiction, obsession, hounds, beyond, pit
Erm, yes, feedback would be nice.
Deep, dark, damp: your familiar pit
comfortable in its grim predictability
has become the home of your addiction
a terrible, shameful obsession;
the place where you nurture every one
of your hurt feelings, wounded dignities
and wonder, idly, when living in light
became so very difficult, so beyond
the hesitant grasp of your broken fingers--
and wonder, too, why every mouth
seems to hound you with endless questions
you never had the answers for
And so when the dawn comes after another sleepless night
you hide from the sun, hurl your curses at the light
wish, so fervently wish you could simply
be assimilated by the dark; be swallowed whole, and disappear--
perhaps then you could finally be happy,
wouldn't have to know
even saints wear black, fall apart at the seams
and lose themselves in misery
if they cannot find a way to
Stop.
Word of the Day for April 25th, 2009
intrigue
1. to arouse the curiosity or interest of by unusual, new, or otherwise fascinating or compelling qualities; appeal strongly to; captivate: The plan intrigues me, but I wonder if it will work.
2. to achieve or earn by appealing to another's curiosity, fancy, or interest: to intrigue one's way into another's notice.
3. to draw or capture: Her interest was intrigued by the strange symbol.
4. to accomplish or force by crafty plotting or underhand machinations.
5. Obsolete. to entangle.
6. Obsolete. to trick or cheat.
7. to plot craftily or underhandedly.
8. to carry on a secret or illicit love affair.
9. the use of underhand machinations or deceitful stratagems.
10. such a machination or stratagem or a series of them; a plot or crafty dealing: political intrigues.
11. a secret or illicit love affair.
12. the series of complications forming the plot of a play.
http://diction
Work work work work. Elftown work, that is. Gah. I've done just about all I can for Writing Contests for today; next up is Daily Poem. After that, I suppose I should get to that pesky real life stuff like uni assignments, vacuuming the apartment and looking for a summer job. Eating should go somewhere in there as well.
Word of the Day for April 24th, 2009
jaundiced
1. affected with or colored by or as if by jaundice: jaundiced skin.
2. affected with or exhibiting prejudice, as from envy or resentment: a jaundiced viewpoint.
http://diction
Good deed of the day: went to donate blood. Actually managed to do so this time, as my hemoglobine was a whopping 130. Usually it's been somewhere around 123. Pierced my ears as a reward since a jewellery store had an opening offer, 10€ per pair.
Now to accomplish more of the stuff on my to-do list...
Word of the Day for April 22nd, 2009
idiosyncrasy
1. a characteristic
2. the physical constitution peculiar to an individual.
3. a peculiarity of the physical or the mental constitution, esp. susceptibility toward drugs, food, etc. Compare allergy (def. 1).
http://diction
Corrected Ian today :D
Eheh. Half past four and it's dawn in Oulu. Oops. Time for bed maybe. <_<
Word of the Day for April 20th, 2009
cantankerous
disagreeable to deal with; contentious; peevish: a cantankerous, argumentative man.
http://diction
Word of the Day for April 18th, 2009
soporific
1. causing or tending to cause sleep.
2. pertaining to or characterized by sleep or sleepiness; sleepy; drowsy.
3. something that causes sleep, as a medicine or drug.
http://diction
We can has Bird Contest!
To-do list for the next couple of days:
- Translation assignment
- cleaning
- proofreading
- reading
- posting on Clockwork
- closing Puppy Poll and making badges
- applying for summer jobs
- and who knows what else...
You know what's disturbing? Having a dream where Jukka and my first boyfriend Mara have met on some outing for uni RP clubs and become all chummy with each other, which I would find out via photo evidence on Facebook... and then Jukka sending me a text message that says he just bumped into Mara in a gathering of uni RP clubs. What makes it more disturbing than it otherwise would be is the fact that the dream and the text message were maybe an hour apart. Tops. I'm clairvoyant now?
Had a thought today while grocery shopping. I spotted some mini-sized tapes and started toying with the idea of buying myself a pocket tape recorder that I could use to just rattle off my random musings. Talking out loud about things that bother me has long been a problem, so it could potentially work as a sort of self-therapy. I don't know. I'll have to look at how much it would cost me.
Mother still thinks I should get help of some sort. Maybe at least a piece of paper saying that I'm a bit off in the head if the student support board gives me trouble next term. But how could I? I only lack a bit of self-disciplin
Word of the Day for April 17th, 2009
shibboleth
1. a peculiarity of pronunciation, behavior, mode of dress, etc., that distinguishes a particular class or set of persons.
2. a slogan; catchword.
3. a common saying or belief with little current meaning or truth.
http://diction
So so tired. Can I die plz?
Y'know, the guy I'm in a sort-of relationship with (yeah, we're not entirely established yet - we'll give it this summer and then see where we are and whether it actually works) is a Lehkonen. Heehee. Of the only other strand of Lehkonens in Finland. I am sort of amused. :P