There's probably something fundamentally wrong about writing depressive poetry when your birthday's barely over, but...


Tangle

Caught up in secretive smiles
musical chairs and the one missing beat
I stand, confused, lost in a possibility of
some great love
coming to save me from myself
and decisions always made too late or not at all

for the fear, the numbing terror
of never being enough or being just a little bit
too much

Did I wait too long?
The crossroads has passed by
leaving nothing but threads of unravelled,
feebly echoing dreams and the notion
such a silly notion
of a deeper meaning behind the anguish—

There is no more to life than this.

Happy birthday, Mir and Pubky!

Half-term break is over. I just came back to my flat about half an hour ago, and among other things, found a confession waiting for me. It would be confusing either way, but my current state of sleep deprivation makes it doubly more so. Aaah! Stress! And this is a person who I've just started becoming comfortable with and had been fairly sure likes me, but but but... muuuhh D:

Going away on choir camp for the weekend, so it's doubtful that I'll be online. Back on Monday, possibly.

I just had cider spilled on me xD
And suddenly, I find myself needing to buy a new skirt... no way I can get the one I was wearing washed and dried by tomorrow morning. Oh well. Such is life. :P

Apologies for my horrible neglect of Elftown duties. I've let myself be distracted by other things - this oddity called 'real life' included - but I shall attempt to catch up as soon as possible.

We have snow :D
I'm still on the 'autumn' setting though, so I'm hoping it'll melt...

'You are filled with life and the excess radiates into people around you. :)'

This was such a lovely thing to say that I can't get over it. I've long been aware that I have this... light in me (when it's not being smothered by depression and/or insecurity), but something like that? Wow.

/lʌmɪ/ = /əˈdɔrəbl/ + /dɔ:k/ = /əˈdɔ:kəbl/

That last part is going on a t-shirt design.

Lami and the Mystery of the Missing Violets :o

I picked some violets in May before heading back home and decided to dry them between a book. Now, there's one problem: I moved them from one book to another because the first one was to be Jukka's birthday present - but I can't remember which tome I moved them to. I've gone through all likely and some unlikely candidates, but they're just not there. o_o So now I'm starting to wonder if I didn't, as a matter of fact, throw them away...

Situation wasn't quite as bad as it seemed. The lappy is, for now, alive.

My laptop seems to have broken. It shut itself off all of a sudden and refuses to turn back on. This, of course, means that (depending on how badly it is broken and how quickly I can get someone to fix it) I might have slightly limited computer access for a while. The large computer lab here at the uni is open until 11PM Mondays through Saturdays, so the situation is not dire... but anyway, just a heads-up.

I feel like a teenager but I doooon't caaaaaaare! :D Much, anyway.


Light the Torch

The heart stutters,
skips—

surrenders;
against you I have no armour
the pearl of my shell chinked
by a simple smile, a subtle scent
each and every greeting—

yes, you had me at hello

For sale!

Word of the Day for September 20th, 2009
extrapolate
1. to infer (an unknown) from something that is known; conjecture.
2. Statistics. to estimate (the value of a variable) outside the tabulated or observed range.
3. Mathematics. to estimate (a function that is known over a range of values of its independent variable) to values outside the known range.
4. to perform extrapolation.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/extrapolate

Words from [Rainbow Dragonflies]: belly dancers, toasters, ambulances.


Making her way
through the crowds of a sin-coloured dusk
she runs to love, its twisted image
on the speed-dial of faceless,
tasteless men — their arms never quite enough
to smother the flickering of her dreams
of a world where:
belly dancers are not two-dollar whores,
melted toasters don't sit next to broken coffee machines
in junkyard apartments and
most of all
the sound of ambulance sirens
is not a nightly lullaby

—but she runs every twilight,
runs closer to the edge for she knows:
dreams are a folly she can never afford.

I'm considering making wallpaper-sized versions of my photography. Should I bother? If so, does anyone have requests?

For reference, my photography wiki is Camera Happy.

I discovered today that robins are extremely reluctant subjects. But that's alright; I'll just go again and out-stubborn them.

Also bumped into a fellow photographer, although her gear was much more efficient than mine. She had a DSLR with a huuuge lens. After the fact, I'm dying of envy. Either way, I sort of took an instant shine to her. She seemed nice, and we chatted a bit. I'm kind of hoping I'll see her again. Maybe she could become my mentor... :P

(Take your minds out of the gutter, folks. She's middle-aged.)

Word of the Day for September 18th, 2009
sardonic
characterized by bitter or scornful derision; mocking; cynical; sneering: a sardonic grin.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sardonic

Word of the Day for September 16th, 2009
vitriol
1. Chemistry. any of certain metallic sulfates of glassy appearance, as copper sulfate or blue vitriol, iron sulfate or green vitriol, zinc sulfate or white vitriol, etc.
2. oil of vitriol; sulfuric acid.
3. something highly caustic or severe in effect, as criticism.
4. to treat with or as with vitriol, esp. sulfuric acid.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vitriol

Joined a choir today - finally! This is the kind where you just show up at practice; no auditions, no nothing, and it is thus a lot less scary than the one I had first thought of attempting to join. Now I can really sing again. <3
Also, Pronunciation 2 begins tomorrow. 90 minutes of Ian every Thursday. Looooove. It's a play-reading course, so it's going to be quite different than the first one... but probably also more interesting. :3