Why, why why why why is it the same very few people in the DP feature queue?! *headasplode* One of which is myself... Gahhh.
Mini-rant over. As you were.
Finally! The Edinburgh trip account is now done at last.
http://calann.
The last episode of the second season of House, MD. is a proper mindfuck. And I have to wait for who knows how long for the next season. (Will probably be aired sometime in the autumn - in the US, that is. They're only starting to show it here in Finland some time this month or the next. Jukka downloaded them. <3) They left it at a cliffhanger, the bastards.
But seriously, House, portrayed by Hugh Laurie, is one of my idols. Even though he's a mean, manipulative bastard. You just gotta love him.
Watch that series, people!
The Pirate Guild
Council Member Humping
<_< >_> >_<
xDDDDDD
Well, shit.
I didn't get in. No study place for me. I'm number 72 on the spare place list, but even so, my chances of getting in are minimal.
I'm just not good enough.
http://s32.pho
Here are the pictures, 70 out of 297. They're not in very good order, but I might put at least some of them up on Elftown later. :P
- update: Putting all of the 70 up in ET. Beautiful Auld Reekie
So, I'm back. I took nearly three hundred photos, ate a deep-fried Mars bar, climbed to Arthur's Seat, bought twelve books and some DVDs, and all around generally had a marvellous time. Account of the trip incoming shortly - that is, when I can be bothered to work on the draft that's currently a private entry in my LJ.
Anyways. I'll put the pictures up somewhere once I've decided which ones are good enough to show and then provide a link.
Meanwhile, I'd appreciate some feedback on this possibly very crappy thing here:
I did not mean to cry
but it's raining from my eyes
the brooding sky
reflected on my face
with a million twisting smiles
frozen in motion around me
in these abandoned halls echoing still life
such dark harmonies played
in a loop that goes round and round
igniting the dormant lightning
of my restless soul
and while you dance, I take your hand
and weep
Okay, peoples, here's the drill: On July 5th, the day after tomorrow, I'll be leaving to Scotland for a week. Because I'm going to spend the night before that at Jukka's house, I won't be here much tomorrow, either. I assume I'll be back some time on the 12th. You will quite probably see lots of pictures and lots of hyping on my part when I return. Just letting you know this so you won't wonder if perchance the Earth itself swallowed me - that would be just my luck, actually...
Anyway. Stay alive, have fun - I'm sure you'll cope perfectly well without me, you won't even notice I'm gone! :P And True, remember the DP.
Such weird dreams. Now, Jukka has been in my dreams a lot lately, but this just takes the cake.
Apparently, I was getting married, and searched mostly second hand stores to assemble my wedding dress. This is the part I remember most vividly, the rest is a blur. But I'm quite sure that in the dream, we had got back together and decided to marry... o.O
Reflects my own past hopes, really. I wanted him to be my lifemate. Ah well.
There's a situation that's driving me insane.
My sister's ex-fiancé, with whom and his cousin (whom I dated for a while once upon a time) I've developed a sort of a friendship that involves fooling around (get your mind out of the gutter, in my vocabulary that phrase is equal to 'being silly') and watching movies, is quite probably having a crush on me.
Now, it's all well and good to know that I can be wanted, but I'd prefer staying 'one of the guys' to these two (even though I'm not sure how the cousin feels about me nowadays, gahh... Complications.
I can feel and see it getting worse.
The most frustrating thing about this is that my body kind of responds to the affection I can sense radiating off him. You know, butterflies.
Could we please not completely ignore the fact that I am still not over Jukka, that I am not interested in this boy that way, that I am still not over Jukka, that I could deal with a little break here, oh and did I remember to mention... I'm still bloody in love with Jukka, and I love him, and I want him back, and I am SO not over him yet?
I don't need the confusion right now. Sigh...
Okay, sorry 'bout the rant. Carry on.
It's time to change diets.
I've been thinking about this for some time now, and I finally decided I should introduce meat into my diet again. This is for health reasons, not because my take on ethics suddenly changed. I still don't like how the animals are often treated. However, I have a nagging feeling that the lack of meat has a great effect on my anemia. I've been feeling continuously tired for so long I can't remember when I was last truly chipper, and I want change to that. I won't be giving up vegetarian dishes, though. I want my diet to be as diverse as possible.
Now, the thing I'm most worried about is how my body will react to suddenly having to handle meat after almost two years of handling none. So, because of this, I'm trying to do the transition slowly and carefully. Any suggestions on that front will be gratefully received.
http://www.dev
Reminds me of something... *wistful sigh*
I just want somebody to save me.
Whatever.
I am stupid. Unintelligent. Not so very bright. Not playing with a full deck.
However you want to express it... Intellect? Ha! I got none.
I'm an idiot. Always was, always will be. I don't have enough brain to be in university, I'll be kicked out in no time! Assuming that I even get there...
I don't really see anything that would make me a useful member of the society. I'm just excess baggage. Good for nothing.
You have the permission to smack me and tell me how silly it is to be so angsty about this. I do know. But I also really do think that I'm stupid.
You can also just ignore this. I don't even know why I'm writing this, everyone must be getting sick and tired of my whining already. So, sorry. I'll just shut up now.
May I please have a nervous breakdown?
I feel like falling apart here. It's a shame that I never can.
In other news, here is a plug. I started yet another wiki listing, like we didn't already have enough of those. Take a look if you want. Poetry communities.
I'm just so out of it I'm getting scared. I'm in a kind of haze, and my mood's been pretty much the same these last few days... Going back and forth between a kind of serenity and a deep hurt.
Slightly out of touch, 'slightly' being a major understatement here. I'm a bit lost right now.
Sorry, nothing interesting to relay to you. Not that my life would ever actually be interesting. I can tell you already, no one will ever write my biography, or buy my autobiography if I'm crazy enough to write one.
Blahblahblah.
I want sinking under the ground and quit being in existence as an option.
At the date of five months and two days...
... it's over. We broke up. No, actually, he broke up with me. Not because he doesn't like me anymore, but because he thought it didn't work.
I admit, we've been having a bit of a hard time. Well, hell of a hard, actually. It's not the fault of either of us, per se - we just didn't fit after all.
I require more attention than he can offer. Those are his words, and I guess it's true.
Damn it, I would have been willing to try, try, try. But I guess he's right. We wouldn't have lasted.
His computer is more important to him than his girlfriend, and I can't exactly take that. Heh. So I guess it's better this way.
And since we agreed that everything will stay pretty much the same, minus all sexual activity, I'll manage.
I'll just be a little... melancholy for a while.
But I still get to go to Scotland. Yay. *sigh*
Smiling and acting like everything, apart from slight frustration pertaining to school and the difficulty of getting to a psychologist, is fine is sometimes surprisingly easy.
In reality, I don't think I'll stop crying any time soon.