Lessee. She is getting through my defences. She likes spending time with me. Neither of us minds being affectionate with the other.
But I don't dare to say anything about my possible feelings for her, because I don't want to face rejection right now. I mean... sure, it's possible that she might not reject me, but it's just as possible that she will. And besides, I'm afraid of history repeating itself. I guess I'll just wait and see, and maybe someday I'll tell.
Yes, there was no point to this entry. Sue me.
Great. Just great. My dad got pissed off at mom who dared to make a comment about his alcohol use and went off somewhere. If things get bad enough, they'll break up. Again. And we'll have to move. Again. And life will be that much more difficult.
I don't know what I want them to do. Aside from just fucking deciding already.
Looks like I'll be staying up this coming night. That's going to be sooo fun. <_<
*bashes head against imaginary wall* Been neglecting my duty again... Gahh.
Ack! I'm running out of glue! *flails in panic* My schedule will be postponed. ;_;
Oh, well. I think I might just make it, regardless. But I will have to hurry even more.
edit: Phew. I'm saved. I found a little tube of glue. I'm not entirely sure if it's enough for the remaining work, but it's something.
When we were together, two years ago, ey used to say I look like an angel. For some reason that memory makes me cry now. Maybe because I don't know if ey'll ever think or say that of me again - if ey'll let me be eir angel once more. And I don't even know whether what I'm beginning to feel for em is real this time around, either.
Aw, shucks. I don't make any sense of anything. Again.
And now I feel like an ass for having even the tiniest flicker of hope. I had a chance once, why should I get another one? Sigh.
One book down, three more to go. I can do it! *cheers self on* But damn, I'll be staying up late while I'm at it...
Dude. There are zombies in Asia. o_O (Or not, but let's just pretend I noticed the date before posting.)
http://65.127.
Hmm. Mega birthday party (four people with their birthdays around the same date having a joint celebration) coming up. Last year, I made scarves, two of them in under 24 hours, staying up late into the wee hours of the previous night.
This year, I think I'll start a bit earlier. I have a bit over a week. I'm going to bind four books. It'll be quite a task, but since I know what I'm doing, it shouldn't be overly difficult. Hard work ahoy...
My sister just called me, she's in a hospital and she doesn't know herself exactly what's going on, and I'll have to wait at least until tonight before I can hear more from our mutual friend who's there with her right now, and I'm so so so so scared.
edit: Okay, he called me. Apparently I sounded a bit too panicky for comfort on the phone with my sister. It was nothing more than that she finally got sick of waiting and left to get some real help for her problems. No need to panic.
But damn, I got scared.
For a moment there, I thought I was finally going to lose the most precious person in my life.
I have made a discovery: We had a tripod! *loves upon* This will provide me so many more chances with photography. See, here's the thing. I was trying to take a picture of the moon with a significantly longer exposure (thanks to True and t3h Squee for telling me the correct term :P) than usual, but I couldn't stay completely still, so the pictures turned out shaky. I came back in, griped about this, and then my mom remembered we have a tripod. Lurvely. <3 Then I went back and had a nice little shoot.
And I howled at the moon. :3
Neck hurts, though, from sleeping without a pillow last night. I was over at [nekorin]'s, there was someone else too, and I gave em my pillow. Thus me ending up sleeping without one, although apparently there would have been, had I had enough energy to be bothered to look for it. :P
I hope it will be less dead tomorrow. <_<
I just remembered a rather amusing incident. I was at [NiTessine]'s house, watching The Musketeer from a tape I'd recorded for him. For your information, it's not a very good movie. Definitely one of those 'whisk your brain aside and you might enjoy it' flicks. At one point, he fetched a package of Oltermanni (a type of cheese) from the kitchen to snack on.
It took me a moment, but when I made the connection, I burst out in a fit of giggling. It's one of those things you get when you're tired. It was cheese. And we were watching a corny movie.
*giggles at it still* Cheese. xD
And I had to explain it to him. I guess I just was that tired. :P
make lami a house
What do you mean I'm over-pimping it? <_<
Of course, no one is going to, but hope springs eternal...
Okay, big decision here, and while I'm not looking for definitive answers, I could do with some opinions.
Should I apply to be an au pair in either England, Ireland or Spain? I wouldn't hesitate so much were I not socially inept and terribly attached to my close ones.
But it is so very tempting...
I just phoned about a job. For the record, I hate making phone calls. At least to people I don't know.
And it went reeeeally well; I stuttered. Go me.
People are scary. *curls up in a corner*
Could you all do me a favour and go vote at Slogan contest voting so I could finally get that darn contest closed? Thank you in advance.
And I haven't heard anything from that employer, so I can only presume I didn't get the job - they were supposed to contact me at the end of this week.
Well, this week ended about twenty-five minutes ago. No e-mail, no phone call... That's bound to be a bad sign.
So, back to job-hunting.
If I only were not so very tired...
It may very well be too early to worry about this, but I just might be developing an attraction to the cousin of that guy who has a crush one me. Yes, that very same cousin I once dated for a while. Well, not developing. It's already there, kind of, it would just be stirring.
Problem here is, I've no idea what eir feelings towards me at the moment are. Would ey be willing to try again with me? I also am not sure if these feelings would be real this time, either. My heart still belongs to Jukka, at least partially.
And ey is apparently a transsexual and a lesbian, so I have no idea what eir stand on relationships is right now. Ey must be confused.
But gods, I love playing with eir hair. It's long and soft and curly. <3
As a completely different matter, I am being angsty about my writing. Grah. I hate it when that happens. I can be confident about it most of the time now, but sometimes I lapse and think it's all crap. Meh.
Okay, I'm finished. <_<
How to make a lami
Ingredients:
1 part anger
3 parts brilliance
1 part empathy
Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little lovability if desired!
http://www.go-
Luxurious
Altruistic
Mischievous
Intelligent
http://www.go-
w00t.
<URL:stuff/
d00d. Do I really want to put this up the next time I change my bio? :P