Brilliant. I managed to piss off my dad and, as is typical of him, he first shouted some and then went somewhere. For a walk or something. I don't know.
And I feel like crap, because while mom said I shouldn't feel guilty for him leaving, I kind of do. I feel like a lousy person, a lousy daughter, and just generally feel like crap.

I hate this shit.

Haha. Now this is amusing. I'm possibly getting a job that would only be for a couple of hours on Fridays - I've been exhanging e-mails with the employer, and hopefully would hear the final judgement today. That's all well and good.
But I just now also received a call about another job I'd applied to, and in case I got it, they would want me to work all week. So, I've got a dilemma.
I almost hope I wouldn't get the first job so I could go to an interview for the second with a clear conscience.

Girlytalk incoming.

I hate using a bra. I abhor those things. I admit, they're handy in preventing a very annoying bounce-bounce-bounce, since I do happen to have a fairly respectable bust - which I alternatively hate and tolerate and sometimes even like - but they make me feel uncomfortable. Like I'm trapped, or something. That, and I can't breathe properly. Bah.

Oh, also: Since yesterday, I am the happy owner of the first season DVD box of House, MD. Though the translations sometimes suck.

Romance can wait.
I want to - need to - get better and at least somewhat stable first. Heck, I'll always be very deeply emotional and slightly neurotic, but it would be good to get some of it toned down. I want to develop a self-esteem before starting another relationship, or participating in any sort of courting rituals - assuming I can keep out of love long enough. Knowing myself, that probably is impossible.

There was a butterfly on my wall. o_O
Came in during the night, I suppose. The thing is, it didn't want to go back out. I caught it and tried to blow it off my finger and jump the aforementioned digit a little, and I tried this from the window in my room, the terrace, and the front door. Nothing.
(While I was at it, I took a picture. I mean, how often do you have in your hand a butterfly that's not trying to get away?) I finally got it out of the balcony door, but it didn't fly very far: It's currently sitting on the balcony floor and, apparently, not intending to go anywhere.

And here's the question: Should I have handled this differently? (I'm also afraid I might have damaged its wings while I was trying to catch it/make it leave, and that's the reason it's not flying. Harming a little creature while trying to help it - how ironic is that? Happens a lot in this world, though.)

*flash of insight* Maybe it was resting on my wall preparing to die, and I interrupted it, and now it's doing the same thing there? Butterflies are very short-lived, after all... :3



Hmm. Now it's gone. Ach, I don't know. <_<

I almost lost Maria (mm world domination tour). o_O
*nearly had a heart attack*

Once again, while taking a stroll down the memory line, I'm beginning to doubt myself. Did I reject them first? At some point, I came along with some of them. And then, I wasn't friends with them anymore. What happened? Was it my fault after all?

I am actually looking forward to my birthday this year, about a month from now. Shocking. It's not like I haven't looked forward to it before, it just... surprises me every time. The whole thing is silly anyway. It's like any other day, I merely happen to become juridically older. Big deal. o_O
Which makes me arranging a birthday party feel even more stupid. Ah well.

[Linderel] (*wibble*)
[pixish] (*wobble*)
[ally] (*wabble*) ((I know it was there for a while, I saw it! :P))

Too much fun or something?


Yes, this was pointless. Sue me.

Good news: I don't have anemia or a malfunctioning thyroid gland.
Possibly bad news: I have some other levels a bit too high, perhaps because of the cold, but they want to check it after a month or so.
Bad news: The good news took away my explanations for why I'm so frigging tired all the time.

Portfolio Contest

This here is my baby. :3 I got on a contest-creating mood yesterday, setting up Kitten Caboodle and this one, along with a couple of others. I hope people will be interested, I'm kind of excited about this contest. What do you think?

Feeling. Like. Crap.
Can't. Stop. Crying.

And why am I making an entry about it? Stupid me.

I'm getting into the taste of hosting contests. The voting of Centaur contest (spawned from Centaur Lair, which you must go see and contribute to, you must!) is now on, with 60+ votes. Even despite a few glitches towards the end, I feel satisfied. It's been a good contest. And, since I got an idea from one of the participants, I set up the Hybrid contest, hoping to attract more good artists.

My previous contests, the Slogan contest and ESPECIALLY the Myth Blending Contest didn't go so well. The former was great fun, but due to my own laziness and a lack of a satisfactory amount of votes, it got kind of long at the end, which spoiled the fun a bit. I don't even want to start on the latter. I don't think it'll ever be finished. Maybe I should just give up on it... <_<

But! I'm now thinking on continuing to host art contests, and perhaps photo contests, if I can come up with themes. I need a brainstorm...

And I need to start participating more, myself.


On another note, I need to start being active on Solemn lines. I am one of the admins, after all... Anyone wanting to join up, by the way?

Eheheheheh... hehe?
http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=114

Now I'm really starting to think I need new parts to my computer. It just freezed in a seemingly random manner again. That's pissing me the hell out. All of it is just guessing, but my main suspect is still the CPU. It's just not about overheating anymore - I think it's seriously busted.

I need someone to tell me the hell is wrong with Hotaru. ._.

Alrighty then. Clearly, I just can't take care of myself. I just dug up this referral, which actually says 'treatment or examination instruction' on it, that says I should get something called Goldmann-fields examined. And the eye doctor, who gave me this paper over two years ago, had checked the box beside 'treatment of illness or examination for possible illness'.

Yaaaaay. Way to go, Lami.

And then there's possible malfunction of the thyroid gland, which should also be looked into. Why haven't I done it earlier? Because I was too damned down to care. And now, when I'll get the appointments, if it was a bit late... that'd be irony for you.

But nah. Probably it'll be fine. I hope.

One of them bad nights. I already felt a bit weak because of tiredness and this half-cold that just can't decide whether to stay, get worse, or go away. And then I just got into a crying fit, caused myself a nice little headache, and feel like crap and want to go curl up and die somewhere. Preferably warm.

Gah.

NaNoWriMo - http://www.nanowrimo.org
The National Novel Writing Month is approaching. Will you take the challenge?

Learning things on GIMP the hard way is actually fun.
"Oops. I should've made the first layer transparent, too. Oh well, noooo worries, I'll just remember it nex time. *extra-careful airbrush strokes*" Though I guess I should have realised right away that if I want to work with layers and move them around, they'd ALL need to be transparent. xP
Ah, nevermind. I control my mouse well enough not to mess it up, and there's always 'undo'.

*blinks at the clock* Whoopsie. Time for sleep.

Err... the hell is up with DeviantArt? No matter where I try to go there, it gives me the 'Verify Your Email Address' thing, even though I've already done that earlier. Gah.