Aw shit. Constant cold -> need to blow my nose a lot + winter -> dry skin => easy nosebleeds.

Bleh.

Is it a bad thing that I still get jealous when someone says something appreciative about Jukka? And especially if someone tries to touch his hair? :P I get all bristly, even if I don't show it entirely. Immediate reaction somewhere in my brain: "Mine!"

I wonder if it's a remnant of my feelings for him as his girlfriend, or if it can be attributed to the feelings of a close female friend.

Ack. I can't read, or generally see the stuff on the screen, very well, which means I can't write my nano. Gahgahgah. The opthalmologist put drops in my eyes which dilated my pupils and agh. ._.

I just hope their effect wears out soon, I'd like to get at least some writing done, and I sure would like to go to the anime evening.

*stab stab stabbity stab*

I just sold this dress.
Along with an underskirt and shoes, I'll get 100 euros for it. It's a little less than I should have asked for it, but no matter. It's monies! :D
The exchange will happen later today. I'll be rich. xD

Brilliant. I managed to piss off my dad and, as is typical of him, he first shouted some and then went somewhere. For a walk or something. I don't know.
And I feel like crap, because while mom said I shouldn't feel guilty for him leaving, I kind of do. I feel like a lousy person, a lousy daughter, and just generally feel like crap.

I hate this shit.

Haha. Now this is amusing. I'm possibly getting a job that would only be for a couple of hours on Fridays - I've been exhanging e-mails with the employer, and hopefully would hear the final judgement today. That's all well and good.
But I just now also received a call about another job I'd applied to, and in case I got it, they would want me to work all week. So, I've got a dilemma.
I almost hope I wouldn't get the first job so I could go to an interview for the second with a clear conscience.

Girlytalk incoming.

I hate using a bra. I abhor those things. I admit, they're handy in preventing a very annoying bounce-bounce-bounce, since I do happen to have a fairly respectable bust - which I alternatively hate and tolerate and sometimes even like - but they make me feel uncomfortable. Like I'm trapped, or something. That, and I can't breathe properly. Bah.

Oh, also: Since yesterday, I am the happy owner of the first season DVD box of House, MD. Though the translations sometimes suck.

Romance can wait.
I want to - need to - get better and at least somewhat stable first. Heck, I'll always be very deeply emotional and slightly neurotic, but it would be good to get some of it toned down. I want to develop a self-esteem before starting another relationship, or participating in any sort of courting rituals - assuming I can keep out of love long enough. Knowing myself, that probably is impossible.

There was a butterfly on my wall. o_O
Came in during the night, I suppose. The thing is, it didn't want to go back out. I caught it and tried to blow it off my finger and jump the aforementioned digit a little, and I tried this from the window in my room, the terrace, and the front door. Nothing.
(While I was at it, I took a picture. I mean, how often do you have in your hand a butterfly that's not trying to get away?) I finally got it out of the balcony door, but it didn't fly very far: It's currently sitting on the balcony floor and, apparently, not intending to go anywhere.

And here's the question: Should I have handled this differently? (I'm also afraid I might have damaged its wings while I was trying to catch it/make it leave, and that's the reason it's not flying. Harming a little creature while trying to help it - how ironic is that? Happens a lot in this world, though.)

*flash of insight* Maybe it was resting on my wall preparing to die, and I interrupted it, and now it's doing the same thing there? Butterflies are very short-lived, after all... :3



Hmm. Now it's gone. Ach, I don't know. <_<

I almost lost Maria (mm world domination tour). o_O
*nearly had a heart attack*

Once again, while taking a stroll down the memory line, I'm beginning to doubt myself. Did I reject them first? At some point, I came along with some of them. And then, I wasn't friends with them anymore. What happened? Was it my fault after all?

I am actually looking forward to my birthday this year, about a month from now. Shocking. It's not like I haven't looked forward to it before, it just... surprises me every time. The whole thing is silly anyway. It's like any other day, I merely happen to become juridically older. Big deal. o_O
Which makes me arranging a birthday party feel even more stupid. Ah well.

[Linderel] (*wibble*)
[pixish] (*wobble*)
[ally] (*wabble*) ((I know it was there for a while, I saw it! :P))

Too much fun or something?


Yes, this was pointless. Sue me.

Good news: I don't have anemia or a malfunctioning thyroid gland.
Possibly bad news: I have some other levels a bit too high, perhaps because of the cold, but they want to check it after a month or so.
Bad news: The good news took away my explanations for why I'm so frigging tired all the time.

Portfolio Contest

This here is my baby. :3 I got on a contest-creating mood yesterday, setting up Kitten Caboodle and this one, along with a couple of others. I hope people will be interested, I'm kind of excited about this contest. What do you think?

Feeling. Like. Crap.
Can't. Stop. Crying.

And why am I making an entry about it? Stupid me.

I'm getting into the taste of hosting contests. The voting of Centaur contest (spawned from Centaur Lair, which you must go see and contribute to, you must!) is now on, with 60+ votes. Even despite a few glitches towards the end, I feel satisfied. It's been a good contest. And, since I got an idea from one of the participants, I set up the Hybrid contest, hoping to attract more good artists.

My previous contests, the Slogan contest and ESPECIALLY the Myth Blending Contest didn't go so well. The former was great fun, but due to my own laziness and a lack of a satisfactory amount of votes, it got kind of long at the end, which spoiled the fun a bit. I don't even want to start on the latter. I don't think it'll ever be finished. Maybe I should just give up on it... <_<

But! I'm now thinking on continuing to host art contests, and perhaps photo contests, if I can come up with themes. I need a brainstorm...

And I need to start participating more, myself.


On another note, I need to start being active on Solemn lines. I am one of the admins, after all... Anyone wanting to join up, by the way?

Eheheheheh... hehe?
http://www.quizgalaxy.com/quiz.php?id=114

Now I'm really starting to think I need new parts to my computer. It just freezed in a seemingly random manner again. That's pissing me the hell out. All of it is just guessing, but my main suspect is still the CPU. It's just not about overheating anymore - I think it's seriously busted.

I need someone to tell me the hell is wrong with Hotaru. ._.