*le sigh* You can still disregard it.


Whatever happened to not having suicidal thoughts? I'd figured I was over them by now, but apparently not. I want to take the easy way out, and guess what pisses me off the most? The fact that I can't, because I made a promise, and the fact that I can't even let a little blood flow, because I made another promise, and I'm incapable of breaking those promises, no matter how much I want to. Damnit.
I'm a fucking coward for having these thoughts. The easy way out? Ha! Whatever happened to the resolve to just keep going...

I guess it's just that I got tired. Again. Well, this won't do. I've got to get my pathetic little ass off the ground and moving. It's not like anyone's going to do it for me.

It'll be just fine.

Now, if I could only believe that myself.

zOmfg! I just watched the first three episodes of Heroes, and now I know what people have been all hyped up about. It's bloody brilliant series, and ridiculously addictive to boot. If there's anyone out there who hasn't started watching it, dude, you're missing out on something really amazing. Watch the show. I promise it'll be worth your time.

I'd heard of Vash/Wolfwood before, and known about Trigun and that it was a potentially very good series, but had not seen it. Now I've watched about twenty episodes, and now I Know. When Wolfwood first showed up, I was all "Eh, what? This guy and Vash? You've got to be kidding me..." but then I understood. I have seen the light. :D

*searches for Vash/Wolfwood fic*

Last visitors:
Skydancer
LadyMoon
bozo
shotokan_gal
xerya
Surimia
Sunrose
Slavork
Sherya
someelf



Lots of names beginning with an 's'... A random observation that I found slightly amusing. Sorry about the pointless post. xD

What I did today: Went to a job interview and got told by the interviewer that I'm not really suitable for the job, had a bloodtest re-taken because the doctor was slightly worried about the infection levels a month ago, aaaand chased a bunny out from under the bed, having to heave a damned heavy mattress back onto its place after.

Then gave all the members of the zoo my sister keeps some attention, giving them more food and holding them in my lap. The bunny is really adorable when you can just hold it there and it won't move a muscle. <3

When I got to the rats... BAM! Instant itching and spots. Even though I took antihistamine when I came here. Either it wore off, or my allergy is too strong for it to fend off anymore. Whatever the reason, I'm seriously pissed off at the world.

I miss my rat babies so much again.

So, in conclusion... YAY. *headwall*

Stolen from... a bunch of people. You know who you are. Maybe.

A) 4 Names people call you:
1. Saara
2. Lami
3. Linderel
4. Lin

B) 4 places you have lived:
1. Hyvinkää
2. Helsinki
3. -
4. -

C) 4 jobs you have had in your life:
1. distributing free newspapers and commercials
2. -
3. -
4. -

D) 4 movies you could watch over and over:
1. Sliding Doors
2. 10 Things I Hate About You
3. Love Actually
4. Pirates of the Caribbean (either)

E) 4 TV shows you love to watch:
1. House, M.D.
2. Ally McBeal
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Farscape

F) 4 Places you have been on vacation:
1. Edinburgh
2. Pyhäsalmi (our summer house is there)
3. -
4. -

G) 4 websites you visit daily (or semi-weekly):
1. Elftown
2. LiveJournal
3. Wikipedia
4. Dictionary.com

H) 4 of your favourite foods:
1. Chinese
2. Pizza
3. Tortilla
4. New potatoes, butter, and onion

I) 4 things you are allergic to:
1. Cats
2. Apples
3. Rats
4. Birch

J) 4 of your siblings names (if you have any):
1. Heikki
2. -
3. -
4. -

K) 4 places you would love to travel to:
1. Scotland
2. Ireland
3. France
4. USA

L) 4 of your pets:
1. -
2. -
3. -
4. -

;_; *wail*

M) 4 things you want for Christmas this year:
1. Chocolate
2. Books
3. DVD boxes
4. Lotsa huggles and a good mood!

Go say hi and welcome [xerya], a friend of mine, to ET. :P

Thank you so much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. ^_^ *squishes and gives cookies*

Oh, bollocks. Forget about the Idols tryouts, I'm not going. I've enough to do tomorrow as it is, and... I don't really think it's worth it. <_<

A Good Year, starring Russell Crowe, is an excellent film. I'd been anticipating it to be good, but damn, the movie was funny, and witty, and dramatic, and all around lovely. My heartfelt recommendations.

Further proof of my utter madness: I'm going to participate in the Idols try-outs with my sister. Oh, gods... <_<
I'll sing Toni Braxton's 'Un-break my heart' if I can learn it in time. If not, I'll just pick something from the notes that I've left from senior secondary. Now there's a variety of options...

Was playing badminton with Juhis (the friend guy who likes me). ^_^ 'Twas fun, even though I'm in a really bad shape and still feeling a bit shaky, and we decided to make it a regular hobby. So hopefully, we'll now be playing about once a week. I'll have to get a support thingy for my knee, but other than that, it should be fine, and I'll finally be able to develop my lungs, my motorics, and my body's co-ordination. Better late than never, eh?

Humm. Good mood. ^_^

Funny thing, this nanoing. I'm obsessed with wordcounts, and I think I'll continue to be for at least the rest of this month. It's like I have to express everything in as many words as possible, even though I know it won't count towards my Nano wordcount... o_O

Aw shit. Constant cold -> need to blow my nose a lot + winter -> dry skin => easy nosebleeds.

Bleh.

Is it a bad thing that I still get jealous when someone says something appreciative about Jukka? And especially if someone tries to touch his hair? :P I get all bristly, even if I don't show it entirely. Immediate reaction somewhere in my brain: "Mine!"

I wonder if it's a remnant of my feelings for him as his girlfriend, or if it can be attributed to the feelings of a close female friend.

Ack. I can't read, or generally see the stuff on the screen, very well, which means I can't write my nano. Gahgahgah. The opthalmologist put drops in my eyes which dilated my pupils and agh. ._.

I just hope their effect wears out soon, I'd like to get at least some writing done, and I sure would like to go to the anime evening.

*stab stab stabbity stab*

I just sold this dress.
Along with an underskirt and shoes, I'll get 100 euros for it. It's a little less than I should have asked for it, but no matter. It's monies! :D
The exchange will happen later today. I'll be rich. xD

Brilliant. I managed to piss off my dad and, as is typical of him, he first shouted some and then went somewhere. For a walk or something. I don't know.
And I feel like crap, because while mom said I shouldn't feel guilty for him leaving, I kind of do. I feel like a lousy person, a lousy daughter, and just generally feel like crap.

I hate this shit.

Haha. Now this is amusing. I'm possibly getting a job that would only be for a couple of hours on Fridays - I've been exhanging e-mails with the employer, and hopefully would hear the final judgement today. That's all well and good.
But I just now also received a call about another job I'd applied to, and in case I got it, they would want me to work all week. So, I've got a dilemma.
I almost hope I wouldn't get the first job so I could go to an interview for the second with a clear conscience.