Non-meeting someone: standing next to your friend when he's talking to someone you want to get to know, but don't have the guts to, because you're scared of people. Jyrki Kasvi is a politician, a member of The Green Party and one of its candidates for the parliamental elections that are coming 'round the corner. He is also a geek. Unfortunately, I can't vote for him, because I live in the wrong town. Woe is me.
Anyway... I would like to properly meet him, but the way things are going now, he's going to know me as 'the girl who hangs out with Jukka'. <_<

This month, I need to draw/take a photo/do something else in the field of visual arts for the 30 day contest each day, and that got me into thinking... Maybe next month, I'll try to write something every day. I could use the practice, right now I'm writing sporadically, whenever inspiration strikes, and I really can't afford to place my trust on inspiration for the rest of my life. The sad truth is, sooner or later I will need to write something without a lightbulb going off in my head first.

Of course, practicing with prompts would be a good thing, too. If I can learn to stimulate the muse with just a couple of words or a picture any time I need to, it would be of the totally awesome.

And I don't want to hear about the odds or anything, I just want to try this. xD
But that's next month. Now I'm wondering whether it's worth it to mimic [Elegy - gone] and [Ocean Soul] and make a wiki of my entries to the aforementioned contest.

Instead of being grateful for all of those people leaving - I was hosting an IRC channel meet over the weekend, nice bunch - I actually feel so lonely I want to cry. That might have to do with the fact that Jukka and [nekorin] were in the meet, but still. It's almost weird. But well, I'm tired. Tiredness leads to heightened emotions and stuff. Sometimes. At least a higher chance to get all broody. I could have gone to my sister's place, but I was too tired to... I kind of wanted to go, but I have no energy. Humh.

Dude, this is seriously cool. Or sad, I don't know which. xD
The people have been playing the same game of Trivial Pursuit for something like six hours... A game of epic proportions indeed! Or just bad luck with die rolls and stupid, UK-centric questions.

Hmm. I really need to find a balance between being too harsh on myself and feeling falsely superior. Neither is good for me, and the latter will just feed the former, because I hate being a bad loser, and I hate the trace of contempt that creeps into my thoughts. It's revolting.
In short, I am still very much frustrated with the head I carry on my shoulders.

Failing to pay attention to food consumption in the morning when you're clearly hungry is a bad thing, right?
... thought as much. Oh well, maybe I'll eat something later when I get back from town and hope I won't faint before that.

Stolen from [Paz].

Level 1
( ) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Smoked Weed
(x) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(x) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 2

Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(x) Been MUTUALLY Dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 4

Level 3
( ) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(x) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
( ) Been Arrested
( ) Made Out With A Stranger
( ) Gone Out On A Blind Date

SO FAR: 5

Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(x) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
( ) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 7

Level 5
(x) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your myspace/elftown Friends (Ummm... yeah. A really brief one which is not to be spoken of. <_<)
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 9

Level 6
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook
( ) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 10

Level 7
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(x) Love/Like Loved/Liked Someone Who You Can't Have
( ) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(x) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 13

Level 8
( ) Had A Tea Party
(x) Flown A Kite (probably, I think?)
(x) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding (offroading)
(x) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 16

Level 9
(x) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(x) Gone Sledding
( ) Cheated While Playing A Game
(x) Been Lonely
(x) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 20

Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 21

Level 11
(x) Been Tickled
( ) Been Robbed / Vandalized
( ) Stole something
(x) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 23

Level 12
(x) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(x) Had Detention
( ) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident/fourwheeler wreck

SO FAR: 25

Level 13
(x) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( ) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 26

Level 14
(x) Hated The Way You Looked
( ) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(x) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 28

Level 15
(x) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(x) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
( ) Swam In The Ocean
(x) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 31

Level 16
(x) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers
(x) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
( ) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 35

Level 17
(x) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
( ) Made Prank Phone Calls
(x) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 37

Level 18
( ) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
(x) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care / Cared About
(x) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere (only watched it being made)

SO FAR: 39

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 3 Days With A Car Full Of People
(x) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(x) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped Like A Monkey

SO FAR: 41

Level 20
(x) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(x) Said "Penis" or "Vagina" (once or twice, maybe)
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 43

Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes (Uhm, what girl doesn't?)
( ) Sat On A Roof Top
( ) Kissed a worm

SO FAR: 44

Level 23
(x) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(x) Stayed Up for a while talking to someone you cared about

SO FAR: 46

Level 24
(x) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(x) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had / Been In A Tree House
( ) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 48

Level 25
(x) Believed In Ghosts (kinda)
( ) Have/had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 49

Level 26
( ) Played Chicken (what's this?)
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
( ) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(x) Been Easily Amused (everything is funny when you're in the right state of tiredness)

SO FAR: 50

Level 27
( ) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(x) Caught A Butterfly (when they come in and need to be let back out)
(x) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 52

Level 28
( ) Mooned / Flashed Someone
( ) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
( ) Cheated On A Test
(x) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House

SO FAR: 54

Level 29
(x) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(x) Had A Cavity (I probably have now)
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
( )Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 56

Level 31
( ) Been Used
(x) Fell Going Up The Stairs
( ) Licked A Cat
(x) Bitten Someone


SO FAR : 58

Level 32
( ) been shot at/or at gunpoint
(x) Had sex (never all the way, though)
( ) flattened someones tires
( ) Rode car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas

Total: 59

I've done 59 things outta 150. Hrm.

The 30 Day Contest. Run by da iippo & Silvie. Go see!

I think I feel - and perhaps look - more alive at a gig than I do anywhere else, in any other circumstances, in this world. Afterwards I reek of cigarettes, my head hurts, my hearing is fuzzy, but I simply can't stop smiling.
I love love love music, and I love Damn Seagulls.

Oooh baby yeah. xD
My pay for the job in December and January is a bit over 800 euros. zOMGwtfbbq, I have monies! :D Not for long, though, but that's beside the point. :P

I shall soon make a fast-forward in the progression of my insanity, pull a Van-Gogh and cut off my ear. :P

Great. So he has a girlfriend. ... I think the world may be mocking me and chuckling not-so-secretly - in fact, I'd say it's almost quite conspicuous - behind my back. Fine, then. Let it have its fun. :P

In a way, this is a relief. Serious crushes are seriously distracting, and I'm glad to know now before it started to develop into something that actually mattered.

I really need to do something about this. It's beginning to be somewhat disturbing.

SW Poll <- go vote!

I think I must kill the part of my brain that makes me attracted to people. The friend I met today... I had a crush on him once. It was one of those big, my-heart-got-broken ones. And because I'm now feeling easily attracted to people, the old emotions are stirring.

Why oh why. *headwall*

So I'm at the Itäkeskus shopping mall, having been around that part of town (on some business I'll maybe make an update about later) and decided to take advantage of it, since it's so early in the afternoon and I have no hurry to be anywhere. I know that a friend of mine from senior secondary works at the SubWay there, and I'd kind of promised to stop by and say hello at some point, but I still take my sweet time getting there, visiting the Suomalainen Kirjakauppa (bookstore) first. Then I slowly stroll over to the part of the mall where the fastfood joint is, and even after spotting someone who I was very sure to be him, I go on to the Free Record Shop. (Well, I have the fruit of that trip right here. Damn Seagulls' new album. <3) Only then do I go toward the SubWay, but for some reason, I keep hesitating. I have no idea why I feel so suddenly shy; I'm certainly not very convinced by my excuse of 'well, I'm not that hungry'. When I finally do gather up the resolve to just go there, it's very normal. He seems happy enough to see me, we chat while he works on my order, and I go to the table and eat.
This must sound so boring.
Anyway, I munch on my food, keep glancing at the counter in hopes of seeing him, kind of wishing he'd come to the table to continue chatting but also understanding that he probably can't do that while he's at work, even though there are very few customers at that time of day. I think about asking him when he gets off, but when I'm out of reasons to sit on the table any longer and he has a customer to serve, I just get up, take my trash to the can, wave bye, and go.
And I really, really would have wanted to spend some time with him. *headdesk* Pathetic. :P

I just watched episode 62 of Bleach. A bit of OMGWTFBBQ mindfuck... and Kuchiki Byakuya suddenly turned into a very nice man. He's still a bastard for the stuff he did earlier, but his actions in that episode are just awwwww. Make up for a lot.
Of course, being a pretty boy doesn't hurt, either. <3
Then again, I could squee over many of the characters in that series, both men and women. SQUEAL!


Ahum... <_< I'll just be off to read some Ishi/Ichi fanfiction now.

</fangirl-mode>

I had an interesting dream about two characters and the muse of one of them. Problem is, I don't know or remember who they are, what they're like, or where or when they live. This is most vexing. Oh well, I'll either recall it eventually, or forget it altogether... maybe this was just a fledgling idea that needs time to brew still. If it's so, it will present itself to me when it's ready.
But man, the guy character sure is dense. "Oh gee golly, I'm in love with my muse, I only just now noticed, waaah don't go." I don't know how the girlfriend reacted to that. If she even was his girlfriend. Well, the character he previously had the hots for, anyways.
Interestingly enough, the muse is a redhead. Hmmmm.

Ah well. Back to bed.

Dad's shouting. I can't hear the words, but the fact that he's shouting is bad enough. I don't want to hear. It makes me feel sick. Somebody get me out of here.

Bugger. I have this clone house, [Belethia], created ages ago... But I can't remember its password, OR the e-mail address I put in the details. It bothers me, it bothers me greatly. xP
There's nothing there, as you can see, but I still would like to be able to access it. Ah well, I guess I'll just have to live with it. :P

I won the January round of the Five Words contest over at Writersco! :D So did not see that coming... currently in the mood to bounce and dance around the room. Overjoyed! Wheeee!

http://www.writersco.com/135.Contest%20entries.FiveWordsJan

*flail*