[Linderel]'s diary
I think I might need to work on self-restraint some more. I like to think I made an honourable effort in Dutchieland, but... Yeah. Today, when I was (theoretically) supposed to be getting supplies for [Iuna]'s Portfolio Contest prize, I ended up buying a collection of jewellery instruction cards instead. Sigh.
Oh well, Friday is payday. Until then, I can just do some planning.
While I try to gather motivation to actually start jogging and stuff, I've found a foolproof form of exercise.
Dancing at 2 a.m. to anime music in your dark bedroom with nothing but panties and maybe a morning robe on is good fun, and I do believe also beneficial. Aside from the fact that it is, eh, rather late. But nothing stops me from doing it in the morning, either. :P
Wheeeeeeeeee.
Been totally negligent towards ET - and teh internets in general - for a couple of days now. Reason being that I'm on an anime binge. This will probably continue for a while, but I'll try to be around. Especially since I promised to get the judging of a contest done by the end of this week, and there's my 10 Days participant wiki to fill. Sowwy to everyone who may or may not be inconvenienced in any way, or, heaven forbid, miss me. <_<
I found lyrics :O
They are very angsty and teeny, but what more is to be expected from a socially retarded, depressed 17-year-old hopelessly in love? xD
I really don't know what's with the repetition of the same line at the end of every verse...
1.
As I sit here
in my messy room
I wonder what would happen
if I told you
that I truly love you
In a way have loved
ever since we met
This is all I know and I will say it
I love you
Chorus:
Would you be shocked?
No, I don't think so
somehow I think
you already know
although in my confession
I didn't say it all
2.
I fear the future
what it holds in for me
will you be my friend
or will you be my foe?
'Cause you never know
what will happen
in this game called life
Yhis is all I know and I will say it
I love you
Chorus
3.
These feelings of mine
I cannot hold secret
it's just too painful
and maybe you'll hate me
but my heart is full
Please understand
I don't mean any harm
This is all I know and I will say it
I love you
Chorus
And I just want you to know
that all I really want
is to be close to you
and see that you're okay
Written about Monday 2007-09-03
Written: (6292 days ago)
Blame Trues for this, he resurrected it xP
http://kevan.o
http://kevan.o
Here's an idea, and I'll blame it entirely on [Teufelsweib]...
My NaNoWriMo project for this year will be a children's book. :P
In a moderately rare silly mood. Allison, who has a habit of getting me to do stupid stuff, challenged me to write silly poems. And so I shall. xP And it will be extremely juvenile. Oh dear me.
Once there was a gentleman
of quite the tiny size
called by his neighbours
the charming Mr. Ant
one who with his six legs
helped all the ladies carry their bags
(and quite the ladies' man he was, it was said)
and was very much liked all around
-- until one day, venturing outside the nest
he climbed the wrong kind of tree
indeed, Mr. Ant, to his great indignation
ended up inside a farmer boy's pants!
*hides in shame* xDDDD
Written about Saturday 2007-09-01
Written: (6294 days ago)
Have got to be tired to cry over what is most probably nothing. I guess smilies do make a huge difference online.
Meh. I need sleep.
Written about Friday 2007-08-31
Written: (6294 days ago)
Looking in the mirror, I can say that I have a fairly pretty face. But I still hate my body. Oh well. Baby steps...
Once there was an urge
a calling buried and forgotten
yet while watching life pass
through this lens
I've awakened to realise
There is a fascination
for skewed perspectives
as if it would help me regain
the clarity of vision
lost for so long
but
Something fragile
like hope, fluttering
on transparent wings
enters the soul
shimmering faintly inside
gently soothing
As I sit still
for a fleeting moment
here, in this space
with your reflection and mine
finding a fraction of
certainty.
Written about Friday 2007-08-31
Written: (6294 days ago)
Nicked off [Teufelsweib].
1) Hello.
Halloes :o
2) How are you on this fine day?
Okay. I could have tried to accomplish things instead of sleeping in and watching TV and sitting on the computer, but maybe next week...
3) Where are you?
At home, in my room.
4) Can you see the sky right now? (if even through a window)
Aye. It's half-cloudy, and it looks like it might rain.
5) What's the most random thing you can see right now?
I don't really get this question... how do you define random? But I'll humour you. Umm... a Kinder egg surprise box. Y'know, the yellow thingy inside the egg that contains the surprise.
6) If you were in Star Wars, would you be on the Light side of the Force or the Dark side?
Probably the Light side, because Marc Hamilton (Luke) and Carrie Fisher (Leia) are/were hawt.
For a more serious answer... I'm not sure. Depends on the circumstances, but I'd try to tread the Light path.
7) What colour would your lightsabre be?
Hmm. Green.
8) Would you rather be a hobbit, an istari, an orc, an elf or a dwarf?
I can't even remember what the Istari are! Hobbit or elf... elf, I think. Yeah, I'm shallow enough for that answer. Realistically, though, I'd probably be a hobbit.
9) Why?
Because elves are pretty and talented. Could do without vanity, though.
10) If you have met someone online and have never seen their face, never spoken to them, but have messaged them for years and declared your undying love for each other, is it real love?
You might think it is. It might feel like it. But it really isn't. Let's face it, you might be all head over heels until you meet, and then you could even hate the person on first sight. Online personality is just a fraction of a person.
11) Yeah, but they could be anyone…
Erm. Yeah.
12) Doesn’t that worry you?
I don't do online romances. Unless it's roleplay. So on a personal level, it doesn't really. But on a general level, yeah. You could seriously get hurt there.
13) Does it really piss you off when you see how shallow Elftown’s been getting lately? (not with its own consent)
Not really. Of course the illiterate and the people with nothing but pasted content in their houses annoy me, but there are many really awesome, interesting personalities to make up for it! You just have to find them.
14) Do you like the Elftown guards?
Sure I do.
15) Do you prefer spring, summer, autumn or winter?
Like them all. Can't choose. Were I forced to choose, though, I'd probably pick spring. Warming weather, but no allergies yet.
16) Why?
Look above.
17) Where do you feel most free?
Outside, in nature. Or at a gig.
18) Which animals can you relate to most?
Relate to... I don't actually know. Cats, I guess.
19) If you could pick one person to be executed for crimes against humanity, who would it be?
Nobody. I would pick nobody. I don't believe in execution. However there are people who would deserve a life sentence... tenfold.
20) Would you rather be in a baking dry desert or a freezing cold snowy mountain peak?
Mountain. Then I'd either burrow under the snow to keep warm, or hope to find a cave somewhere.
21) If you were in the Matrix, what would your name be? (i.e. your hacker name)
Lamia
22) Is Elftown better than Elfwood?
Aye!
23) Does it annoy you when people don’t put any description at all?
It depends. An empty description annoys me less than one filled with pasted things and questionnaires and other such rubbish.
24) Should all the shallow invaders be thrown out by the Guards?
Only if they give them a reason to.
25) If you could start your own religious cult, what would it be called and what would it involve?
Erm. I'll get back to you on that.
26) If you could be left hurling into nothingness for all eternity with one thing to keep you sane (be it real, imaginary, metaphorical, visible or invisible), what would it be?
Pen and paper, or books, or a friend.
27) You’ve got this one chance to ask God/the Goddess/ WHOEVER one thing (however cliché) and one thing only. What is it?
Why the heck did you screw up so very badly?
Or no, wait. Scratch that. Why didn't you take me when I asked you to? <_<
Scratch that too. If I had to pick a deity, it would be the earth itself. So, Gaia... how the fuck do you stand us?!
28) What's the one phrase you’d love to be known to future civilisations for saying (even if you didn’t ACTUALLY say it)?
"So long, and thanks for all the fish!"
29) What's the one song/line you wish you’d written?
Don't make me choose. :P
Oh well, I gueass I'll just try to be happy with the things I have written. They're not half bad after all.
30) What would it say on your gravestone?
"Quirky, but sweet."
Or a quote from one of my favourite songs.
31) Will you even have a gravestone?
That shall remain to be seen. A person's desires can change greatly during their life, and I hopefully have much of mine left to live.
32) What would you like to happen when you die? (i.e. what song will they play at your funeral, etc)
I wish to be cremated, my ashes either spread in the wind or in some beautiful garden or park while they play something from Damn Seagulls, Queen, or Uematsu Nobuo.
33) You can bring one person back from the dead, or to you from afar to be your guide through this life. Who is it?
Can I give this to a sister?
34) What's the one thing you want to shout from a mountain top?
I'll tell you when I know...
35) Did these questions suck?
No.
36) Will you post this on your page?
No way, I don't put questionnaires on my description. It's ugly.
37) Will you tell many people so that THEY in turn put it on their pages?
They'll do it if they want to.
38) Thanks ^_^
Very welcome.
Alrighty. Which one? I'm sort of leaning towards the black&white version, but the coloured one does have its appeal as well...
Thinking about how often I should change the featured art and poem in my house... Onions? :p
I LOVE you!
From: !jessicahammil
Date: Aug 30, 2007, 9:52:38 AM
OMG! you're a GENIUS! Why don't you join the poetry contest from [link] ? Free to enter, 100k prizes. You MUST win it!
-----
That is actually SO depressing. I visited their profile and what do you know, banned member. I'd be willing to bet they sent similar messages to every poet they came across. Yea, make them feel good about their writing and lure them in. Grh. -_- Well, I wouldn't have fallen for that anyways, and only clicked then tinyurl link out of curiosity - but still!
No one's ever called me genius before, and then when someone did, it was fake. Bleh. :P
</whine>
What I sometimes wish for, crave for most... is to belong somewhere. When I'm being held by a beloved, I feel like I belong. But in a group, oh, no, I've never been part of one. Not truly. It is an ache that surfaces at odd intervals and lingers even after it should have been washed away. It is a demon. Loneliness.
If my heart burns
I do not know if it is
with loneliness
or something more violent
yet gentle - like love
All I know
is a soul-deep yearning.
And that's enough existential angst for this night.
Chocolate on bread + milk. Mmmmmm.
I just baked cookies. The result is slightly suspicious, as it was the first time I tried the particular recipe, but they seem to be edible. xP