well its been a few days since iv had time to write,been really busy this weekend. friday night i went to movie with my boyfriend,jacob, then saturday my school had some boring event that i stupidly went to. and today is sunday, my one and only day to rest and sleep late. well thats about it.

another poem...




A day to fade away

will you keep me in your memories?
or will you forget about me?
someday i will leave
as i always do
when things are just
too much to handel
too much pain for me
im too weak to deal
you know this already
i told you not to get attached
i will leave
you will be alone and so will i
but that is not something
that can be changed
i have done it before
it will happen again
dont miss me when im gone
but dont forget me either
keep me locked in
those happy memories
you can keep those
but you cant keep me here
i will not stay
you know i wont
i wont listen to you beg
or cry
if you do i will leave all the sooner
you cant keep me here
no matter how you try
i will not stay
not even if i could
this world is way to much for me
i will continue on my search
for a place to fade away
with no one but myself
and my own depressing thoughts
you cant keep me here
i will not stay
ill fade away

another day at school...still at school. im so very tired i dont think i ever get enough sleep. today my so so sweet boyfriend gave me a picture of a dog that he drew, oh it looks so good, hes a really great artist but he doesnt really think so. that was the highlight of my day. evryone is in a bad mood today, so its not just me. i wish i could be in a better mood, but i just cant. now im wonder can anyone drown in a teaspoon of water?hmmm ... just another one of my random thoughts. that really doesnt mean anything at all. i will be so very very glad when the bell rings and im out of school for the day. so that i can just go home and sleep. sleep is good.

um hello well today i was in such a horrible mood and i have no idea why, but im surprised my friends didnt murder me i was being so mean. but now i feel bad for being mean this is an unususal thing for me because i enjoy being mean, not like hurtfull meandbut playfuly mean.
i think i will finally get around to dying my hair tonight, i hope so cause it really needs it. i might enter a poem in here after a little while. now for another unknown reason im very tired so maybe ill go to sleep...

well today i as forced to take part in a very boring field trip,poor poor me. i spent the whole time trying to resist the urge to hug and kiss all over my boyfriend. i was kinda lonely cause my best friend bailed on me and skiped school. oh well i cant really blame her. well thats about it except for this poem i just wrote:

Today's Tomorrow

another day
we sit and watch
the time slowly fade away
waiting for another day
thinking that tomorrow might be better
and we shouldn't give up just yet
maybe another day
we cant face ourselves
we cant face each other
we have put to much
work into this to
forget and start over
we're just to tired to try again
for something that failed us
in the first place
just not today
so we will stay in this trap
waiting for another day
a day to love
what we hate
a day to cry
for our happiness
a day to stop all the lies
that were once our only truths
a day to forget
what we need to remember
a day to remember
what we shouldn't have ever forgot
what we left behind
what we miss
what we have done wrong
and what we cannot make right
not today
maybe another day

well this it i kinda like it but its not my best.

i just deleted all of my diary entrys which amounted to a whole three, because they were pointless and stupid. so i am going to try and keep a real diary now. i slept most of the day because i was out pretty late at a carnival with my boyfriend. we had a good time and i got on a faris wheel for the first time in my life!! i am so scared of heights i almost fainted! but still it was fun.