[deja vu, mi amor]'s diary
Written about Saturday 2004-11-27
Written: (7126 days ago)
Time and Time Again
With time I start to wonder
And I know he’s started to ponder
The feelings are no longer growing fonder
I’ve asked all the right questions
But I took all the wrong suggestions
We are the forgotten ones
The last bits of love have died
We may leave, still with pride
Because no one knows, how we once cried
We will, of course, miss the past
Our memories cannot fade fast
But in the end, we will move on at last
I’ve been thinking quit a lot
My mind keeps turning back to
Those few words that haunt me nightly
Those days we once lived together
I have begged for the past
So many times, I’ve lost track of reality
My spirit still lives there
All my time spent remembering
I know you have seen the tears
But you refuse to believe
Just as I once did
I took my time, but I came to my senses
I’m almost ready to give up, to let go
Time is only hurting us more
I know you playing pretend with yourself
Maybe you think its best to lie
One thing will always be true
When all else has left
Those memories will still hold
One first true love
I know the pain I’m feeling will become worse
But waiting is slowly tearing us apart
We talk out of obligation, nothing more
We say those hollow words, that once held so much meaning
So this is how it will end
I should have known, but its much too late
Love put us together, time tore us apart
Now we’ve loved, now we’ve lived
And now its time to leave
Just move on and hide the pain
Its too late to try and change
It started by luck and will end with fate
have you ever wondered
why my smile is always
lined with tears?
have you ever thought
about the pain that tears me down
and crushes my heart?
have you ever sensed that
every night i soke my pillow
with the tears of that day?
have you ever cared that
im holding our pain together
for your sake?
This page will be for pictures of me and my friends and maybe some pets.
pictures of me, they were taken with my crappy computer cam. bad quality.
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Written about Thursday 2004-11-04
Written: (7149 days ago)
hello all you people. i need some help. i need you (if you havent aleady) to vote for me for sexiest elftown female all you have to is send a message to [Nevermore.] saying that you want me to win for sexiest elftown female.
thanks!!!!
refused to cry another night away
she couldnt begin to find the right words to say
that she didnt think she could make it through another worthless day
and didn think there would ever be another way
if only she could find the thoughts of her long nights
maybe she could demand a few rights
as she closed her eyes, she promised, there wouldnt be another fight
he had taken away the only thing he had gave her, light
se faught back fresh tears as she dremt up new memories of him
as the dream faded, her hope grew dim
she new the future would be grim
she held a spark of hope, on a fearful whim
im tired of cryng for you. im beginning to think that its just not worth the fight. ive had to fight for every thing ive ever had, why should i have to fight for you too? its not fair. i cry myself to sleep every night. im tired of crying. i dont think i can do thin much longer. i really dont.
if i told you..
i cried a million tears for you
i might die without you
your making me feel the pain you promised you wouldnt
my heart is breaking right before your eyes
if i asked you...
why are you leting me cry?
do you even care if i die?
why are you breaking all those promises?
you said youd never break my hear, why did you lie?
hey people please vote for me for sexiest elftown female sexiest elftown female thanks!! ill love you forever if you do...lol
thanks again!!
another day spent stareing at these walls
another night, a couple more falls
takeing my time, to try and find
a way to see, a saner mind
crying for the pain i once felt
for the heart that was once held
desprate cold and lonesome
just trying to wait, morning will come
one more night, one thousand more tear drops
blind to the world, numb to dreams and hopes
falling hard, sliping fast
watching silently as my life dies in the past
another breath, another scream
one more nightmare, one more broken dream
calling my last cries
seeing the finnal lies
not one more day, not one more night
not another word to say, not another battel to fight
~Me~
Thursday, October 27, 2050
You are worth exactly: $1,812,542.00.
hmmm......
this is no longer a new poem...but i still like this one, tell me what you think, please.
Deathly beauty
your scared to take one more step
because you fear that you might fall
your hesitating to take one more breath
for fear that it might be your last
as the night slowly passes
you start to tire and become faint
her voice swims in your mind
reminding you that your not alone
and might not ever be again
your wish was granted
in such a terrible way
your crime cast out upon
the just rising sun
for you to see in all of its dreadful beauty
this is not the time for regrets
you have to move quickly now
don't wait until she wakes
the morning sun has started to stir
the hill rises beyond you
against the pale moon
where the barely there stars loom above
your grave for her to rest
she lies there so peacefully
it seems almost as if she were merely sleeping
not one thought clouds her mind
and now her face appears as you have always wanted it
ice cold, smooth as the stones
that washed ashore this morning
lifeless, but yet more beautiful than ever
she is finally your, truly yours
another poem i like...
My Chamber of Thoughts
I dream of a time
When I ruled my mind
And you were no where to be seen
Where I could not hear your screams
And I did not frighten easily
At the mention of your name
I wish of times
When only I knew myself
And you didn't have my secrets to hold
The key to my hopeless days
I unlocked your terror
And set it free upon the world
So they could suffer just as I had
And I could hear their silent screaming
Just as they had once heard mine
But refused to listen
I tried to warn you
I told you it would not be forever this way
But you chose not to hear my words, so brave
And marked me off as just another lonely child
Of the dark lies of tomorrow
Maybe now you will spend your days
Dreaming of your free thoughts
And regretting the things you fought not to say
You will wish you had been the one who turned against
The power that is held within
These closed walls of a future gone away
To a controlled system of
Beliefs that you don't really have
And things that you won't ever see
Once more I will speak a brave thought
And show you what my strength has finally brought.
~me~
i did not write this poem, [Annie T.] did. i wanted to paste a copy here because i love this poem. its great.
A sad, lost lover
like no other.
night after night
dreams full of fright
did you really believe her death
would satisfy evil under breath?
A blow to cause you pain,
she'd not even try to bring in vain.
but the reflection shows.
torment you're mind only knows.
A sword of dismay
is your hands' great display.
Perhaps her soul still makes sound,
but her body lay on the ground.
death, you answered at dawn
love, your answer long gone.
did you really believe her death
would satisfy evil under breath?
-[Annie T.]
Song Of The Week
We Believe
There's a women crying out tonight Her world has changed She asked God why Her only son has died and now her daughter cries She cant sleep at night Downtown another day for all the suits and ties Another war to fight there's no regard for life How can they sleep at night, How can we make things right Just want to make this rght We believe in this love We are all the same Human in all our ways and all are pain So let it be, There's a love that could fall down like rain Let us see, let forgiveness wash away the pain What we need, And no one really knows what they are serching for We believe, This world is crying for so much more We believe In this Love So this world, is too much for you to take Just lay it down and follow me I'll be everything you need, In every way We believe in this Love
GC
with night comes depression
what was hidden deep inside
never fails to break loose
spilling tears into the darkness
she cant help but cry
why cant those doubts just leave her?
its all she wants
no words can help
she has done this to herself
in some ways its all her fault
she thinks sometimes
but in her heart she knows
she is not to blame
he is not to blame
there are no medicins to cure her aching soul
no remidies to heal her breaking heart
nothing has happened
and yet everything has changed
when she looks back
she cant see one thing that should have been diffrent
the truth was not so bad
so why is her pain unbareable?
there is no answer for her question
she knows nothing he says will change her doubts
no matter how she wishes to beleive him
nothing can change and now its here to stay
as the thoughts of the night come
tears role down her face
soon to mix with blood
stranger
why am i such a stranger
to my self and to everyone else?
you have known me so long
but you still act like
im the stranger looking
through the broken glass
to the mess you have
created because of me
but im the stranger
and you cant let me in
you dont talk to strangers
you dont know who i am
or why im there with you
and why i wont ever leave
im still here
you cant push me away
i will stay
i will be a stranger forever
if thats what you want
you dont have to let me in
i cant make you see me as a friend
but i can always be here
even though you dont want
me to see all that you have done
all the mistakes you have made
and all the pain i have caused
you know the stranger is sorry
you know the stranger
is the reason for your pain
but you also know
that the sranger will always be
by your side to love you
no matter what you have done