Darn it, I liked those diary entries that were lost. Not that I remember what they were... but still. Something about the Long Now foundation (I want to get that lifetime membership thing, where they give you a Rosetta Disk... And I'm totally naming my daughter Rosetta :D ) and some NYT articles and other cool thoughts about beige.

Ah well. So it goes. The internet doesn't remember everything, it's a silly myth. The internet can destroy our culture whenever it wants to.

England next month? :D

I love the Internet precisely because of the personal touch it adds to things like business. And I don't mean the faux-personal stuff that Tumblr, Chrome and ModCloth do (even though that is super awesome too), I mean this thing that happened yesterday and today: I ordered some samples from Lucky Scent and paid with PayPal. There was some error thinger, but the money went from my account so I reckoned it was okay. Today I had received an email from them saying "we got your money but because of the error your order went missing, so we put your money back to your PayPal, but now you have to do your order again, sorry :S But the problem should be fixed now." So I tried again and this time the PayPal transaction just didn't work. So I paid with card (it's a Debit card so sometimes they don't work on these things) and emailed them saying "it didn't work again" and pasted the error message in the email, then told them that I paid with card but am a little doubtful whether it'll work. And he just replied saying he'll take a closer look in the morning "but we'll sort this out!" :D And then there's y'know, Lev signing my book and Think Before You Think putting my ET review in the back of her print copy of the book... Basically, when all this is over, I will have all sorts of cool stuff that is really personalised to me - plus I'll smell like chocolate again :3

Today I bought a pair of shoes online, ordered samples of different chocolate scented perfumes and took pictures of myself wearing a corset. And yesterday I bought a new piece of jewellery at the post office. I've missed the chance to mail Mothering Sunday cards for Sunday (should I just do it anyway and be late? I have two English mothers, though neither of them is expecting a card from me - so it would be even cooler to actually send them them, even if they got them late... maybe?) I think I'm overdoing this woman-thing. Who cares! *goes to make cards with windflowers on them*

Steal like an artist:
http://thisisnthappiness.com/post/18955109348/steal-like-an-artist

I had a wonderful time in England last week <3 And as a result have finally made up my mind to move back. Most likely around January 2013. So I'll work all through summer, go to USA in the autumn, then it's Christmas and then it's England's green and pleasant land. And of course if/when God feels like messing with my plan He is of course totally welcome to do that. But if He stays out of it, this is what we're doing.

Back to work tomorrow. I wonder if it's possible to call in love sick? >_> It is sort of incapacitating when all you want to do is lie around and day dream...

iippo's lab.
I need you to click at that link, and then write stuff into comments or messages or reply to here or in a forum posting or on a letter or anything. I need to discuss what I'm doing.

But also interestingly - I can't remember where I read this, some research result report on the internet - I need to talk to you what you are doing too. Because when we crit other people's work we get ideas and thoughts about our own, was the main message of the report of that research.

My mission ended exactly a year ago.

I've been making a wiki to keep all the stories and memories in shape. It's not as finished as I'd want it to but that doesn't really matter, I might never finish it, knowing me. :P

Today was the first day of spring. My dog is called Ressu, which is the Finnish translation of the name Snoopy. Unfortunately he is old and fat, so not only is he unable to do the first day of spring dance¹, we couldn't even go for a walk (we went about 300 metres and had to stop and come back because he started limping and got sad and pained). So instead we sat outside and I pounded the 2-inch thick ice on the steps of the house with a wooden brush to break off little pieces. you know, to help spring come quicker. :) But if this now turns out that the dog's walkies days are over, we shall take up the habit of sitting outside (when it's sunny >_>) so he can still see a little bit of what's going on around. As much as I love having an old dog that one is really good friends with and loves dearly... it comes with less fun bits too. Like those times when he's lying on the floor asleep and he is so perfectly still that you have to go poke him just to make sure he's still alive :/ *tries not to think of dog dying eventually*

Anyhoo, thanks to spring, I am getting really down and depressed. Thank goodness for pending England trip, because I need to get away from here. I hate Helsinki (just the fact that it exists is driving me crazy), I hate ice on the roads, I hate a guy at work, and it makes me kinda tired to be all angry and hateful. This is not my natural state of being, it actually takes effort and it makes it hard to concentrate at work (I made so many mistakes today and was so slow, I was over an hour late on my round... >.< ) Buh buh buh. So I think a week-ish with people I love in a place I love doing things I love will be a good cure for this state.



¹

And this wikipedia article is like a work of art o.O
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarabell_the_Clown

Davy Jones died. :/
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/01/arts/music/davy-jones-a-singer-in-the-monkees-dies-at-66.html

(No, not squid-face, monkee-face.)

I went to see Rusalka yesterday. It was a final dress rehearsal, and it was pretty cool to see the orchestra go over something again with the conductor telling them "bar thirty, more like daa-de-dee-da-daa-de-daa", he actually spoke music to the different instruments. It was rather win to observe.

For a change (like, the first time since I've been reading it), the New York Times "Room for Debate" section is actually any kind of interesting. For one, one of the respondents is professor Flynn. Y'know, of the flynn effect (which basically says "your IQ is higher than your parents and your kids' IQ will be higher than yours"). And the topic is "are people geting dumber?" And what is good about this one is that all the respondents have a slightly different take on it. Along with professor Flynn's reply I really enjoyed the replies by professors Gottfredson and Pinker. And Ritch Duncan also made a good point about what we see and what we pay attention to
http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebate/2012/02/26/are-people-getting-dumber

This American Life link! Yay! We love these!
This week's episode was about kidnapping and being hostage, and the last act is astonishing. It's about a man who develops this weird disease where he has attacks where his muscles just... stop working. No one knows what causes it or how to cure it, but they've made the connection that it's the same signal from your brain to your muscles as while you are asleep and dreaming (your brain basically paralyses your body so that you won't act out your dream) - except to him it happens when he's awake. And the trigger to his attacks... Well, it's pretty much the worst possible thing you could imagine. So take a moment and think, something happens in your daily life and this will make you lose the ability to control your muscles and fall over, makes you have an attack... What could it be? The name of the act (which you will see when you cliquez on this link) will give a hint, and the whole bit is well worth listening to, it's only 10 minutes.
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/409/held-hostage?act=3

Three things that are totally unrelated

Research is really exciting. Altermodern and Mormon Renaissance go together like a... something that rhymes with renaissance. I wish time would stop and that eating and going to the bathroom were optional so that I wouldn't have to ever take breaks from looking into all these interesting things. :D (I probably need to go outside now...)


When I see my dog sleep really still and he's not moving at all, I always worry that he has died and have to go poke him to make sure he's still alive :(


I'm going to buy this book now:
http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/02/01/pasta-by-design/

Today's New York Times story tells us that America is Europe: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/24/opinion/brooks-america-is-europe.html
It kind of helped me make sense of some of the notions that libertarians go on about government=evil. I've heard people suggest to me that, based on what I talk about, that maybe I'm a libertarian, but then whenever I read up on any libertarian stuff I find myself totally disagreeing with everything they say. But that may be because they are usually talking about the United States. And I never realised that there were such fundamental differences to how the U.S. government does stuff, mainly this tax break stuff. So basically, while the European welfare state says "take a bit from everybody (but more from the rich) and give to the poor" the U.S. version is "take a bit from everybody (and less from the people who will do stuff for us for free)"?
*feels like a bear with a small brain sometimes*

Guys. Nineteen nineties. http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/pictures-that-perfectly-capture-the-90s

And the internet replaces the last reason there was to go outside (which was having your mind boggled by the night sky) : http://media.skysurvey.org/interactive360/index.html

This guy might end up being the world's first Mormon head of state:
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/foreigners/2012/02/yeah_samak_the_mormon_candidate_for_president_of_mali_.html
Did you hear that noise? It sounded like someone saying "Mitt Romney, eat your heart out"? o.O Weird.


At work I've been listening to some old New Yorker Out Loud podcasts, and the hilarious thing is that the phone I listen to them on plays them in alphabetical order. This was fine for Planet Money podcasts because all the filenames start with #233 or the likes, the number of the episode. So I listen to them in order. New Yorker Out Loud filenames begin with the name of the person, like "Adam Gopnik discusses the new cuisine movement Le Fooding". So first I heard all the interviews with Adam Gopnik, and then all the ones with Ariel Levy, and so on. It makes it really interesting because I kind of learn to get to know the person who writes for the New Yorker - but it's also hard because I have no idea what the time frame is. So at one point they were talking about the elections and the Obama's, and not until they said "so if Michelle Obama becomes first lady..." and I was like "...what? Don't you mean stays as first lady?" until I twigged - this podcast is four years old. >_> Should probably just delete all the ones that are that old - but some stories don't get old. Like I listened to one about the problem Florida has with burmese pythons and nile monitors (when people had them as pets and then released them into the wild and now they are a problem because there's so many and it's not their natural habitat etc...) So if I'm ever in Florida and see something that looks like a small Komodo dragon... I'll probably die of fright because these guys made it sound absolutely horrifying and there's no hope of survival, basically :P Yet another reason to never go to Florida.

And another story (and I want you Silvie to hear this some day) was about a woman who had an itch on her forehead and it never stopped itching and she kept scratching at it for years and years, and... she scratched through the bone of her skull and into her brain O_O Honestly, she really did. And they were discussing how the itch was probably something that the brain was making up (kinda like when people feel pain in an amputated limb) because that part of her head was already numb so it couldn't have been the nerves and stuff, and then they went ahead and actually severed the nerves that connected to that part of her, and no help, it still felt itchy to her. Anyway. Cool podcasts that have annoying filenames that makes my worknights just a little bit more interesting :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmecyCCdknk :D

I love reading about psychological experiments, especially ones performed on kids http://campaignstops.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/20/how-to-get-the-rich-to-share-the-marbles



Long story time again (though this one might explain why all my stories are long):
I was listening to This American Life, last week's episode about playing roles, and they did a story about a man with Asberger's and how he is learning to behave more normal because he loves his wife and doesn't want to stress her out all the time what with being... well, Aspie. And the story starts with that they didn't know he had Asberger's for a really long time (and she works in the field of psychology). And she came across a quiz online about Asberger's, so she didn't tell him what it was, just asked the questions, and then before pressing submit she told him what it was and if he was ready. And the quiz indicated "yeah, Aspie" and so they went to a doctor to get a proper diagnosis and hey presto, Asberger's. What caught my ear in the story was when she was talking she mentioned one of the questions and said "I thought it had a typo or something, the question says 'do you ever fantasise about making traps?'" and he said "yes, all the time :O" And I thought, what a strange question, I want to see all of these questions, sounds fascinating.

So they link to the quiz on the ThisAmLife website, so I went to look, and I filled it out - not thinking "amg, what if I'm an Aspie?" but more like... "hmm, I wonder what I would say if someone asked me this question?" And of course with online quizzes there's always the "none of the answers reflects my response right" problem, so did this but not a lot because when you have a question of "do you ever" or "have you done" or "do you often" and the answers are ? 0 1 and 2 (don't know, no, sometimes, yes) it's not that hard to find a balance, plus some I just left in ? mode.

So overall it's seems to be a very well thought-out quiz, it doesn't look fancy so that suggests it was done by proper scientists (:P) and the results it gives are astonishingly detailed, it gives like a 14-page PDF where it analyses every question, gives a neat graph where the traits of Aspies and Neurotypicals (aka people off the Autistic spectrum) are juxtaposed etc... So it was fascinating to go through your answers to the questions and compare them to what Aspies and NTs would reply to the same stuff.

The thing that made this a very strange experience was that with a lot of the questions my reaction upon reading it was "uhh, doesn't everybody?" Like "do you need to do things yourself in order to remember them?" or "do you need lists and schedules in order to get things done?"

I must admit that I have a bit of a problem with Asberger's as a disorder. Because it seems to me that it just makes you kind of strange and awkward, it doesn't mean you need to take some kind of pills to fix yourself, it doesn't mean you can't function - it just means you're "different" from "normal". Maybe it's not the person's fault that they have a hard time in society, maybe it's society's fault when we're all so quick to judge others. The whole diagnosis of Asberger's is basically comparing against some kind of "normalcy" and saying "whoops, you deviate from this standard of normal, therefore you must have a disorder." My other problem with Asberger's is that it's... kind of easy (sorry I know this is a horrible thing to say, please forgive me if you have Asberger's and really struggle because of it, I'm just an ignorant tit, what do I know!? But let's face it, being an Idiot Savant or having some stronger form of autism would be much harder). And the reason I resent the easiness of Asberger's while it is still a diagnosed disorder is Lars. >_> You don't need to know much about him, but he hid behind his Asberger's and refused to do something with himself and his life "because of my Asberger's y'know, I can't..." I had a lot of faith in him that he could, but either he used his Asberger's as an excuse, or (even worse) he himself was disabled by the diagnosis: I have a disorder, therefore I can't because somebody somewhere says I can't. Or he really actually couldn't. I'll never know. But it broke my heart. Anyway. That's all TMI... But maybe I'm an Aspie and can't help saying and typing awkward things. Yeah, my quiz result said "you are very likely an Aspie" and if I was living in an English-speaking country, I'd go see someone to get diagnosed. As it is, I can't for the life of me be bothered to try to have this kind of a communication with anyone in Finnish, it would just take far too much effort, trying to translate what I think and feel into a language I just can't use to express myself. Must admit, it would explain a lot of things if I was, so in that sense it'd be nice to know...


So if you survived this far, here's the quiz http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php Pretend that here I give you all manner of disclaimers, like "buyer beware" or "here be monsters" or whatever.

Cool sci-fi short story http://mormonartist.net/2012/02/day-five-sandra-tayler/

Also on the table today: spring cleaning http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/science/space/for-space-mess-scientists-seek-celestial-broom.html (I have to do some cleaning myself today...)

This last one is a little slow on the start, but the second page is fascinating reading (it's about the connections between distraction and creativity) http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/opinion/sunday/the-art-of-distraction.html


There. I have nothing more to give you. I have worked hard this morning (we got another foot of snow >.< ) and I started a drawing yesterday that might turn into something, even though it's nothing in particular, but it would be nice to finish it since it's been a long time since I last finished anything :/ So I shall go have breakfast now, take the dog for a walk, and then come back and draw and listen to stuff.

Humm, I just made a diary entry this morning and now it is gone :O I hope it comes back... I wonder if I deleted it by accident or something :/

It had a link to http://thomasczarnecki.com/from-enchantment-to-down.html

But I also want to link to this now http://thisisnthappiness.com/post/17770241707/how-do-you-decide-who-to-marry-more