1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites! ?
14. Why do "overlook" & "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks
28. Why is 'flammable' and 'inflammable' the same thing?

European communications.

The European Union commisioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short)

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also the hard "c" will be replaced with"k". Not only will this klear up Konfusion, but typewriters Kan have one less letter.

There will be growing pulik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like"fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, pulik akseptanse of the new spelling Kan be expekted to reach the stage where more Komplicsted changes are possible.

Goverments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a teterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil bereseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v".

During ze ifz year, ze unesesary "o" Kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations og leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze Drem vil finali Kum tru.

www.elfpack.com !
www.elfpack.com has opened for you who aren't that interested in going deep into fantasy and science fiction, but just want to have fun.


It's not without rules, but not as strict as Elftown with images or behaviour. Go there at your own risk and remember that all the scums that we ban from Elftown are sent there.


It has just opened and probably has some minor bugs.


This news in other languages: News262-translations

I did a quiz and:

http://lucid.lunacy.nu/quiz/pirates.html

If I was a profession I'd be: a gardener
If I was a country I'd be: in real financial troubles
If I was a ocean or body of water I'd be: A river
If I was a piece of candy I'd be: Chocklad written like that
If I was a famous building or piece of architecture I'd be: Taj Mahal
If I was a store I'd be: The three Broomsticks
If I was a brand of shoe I'd be: Doc Martin's
If I was a bad habit I'd be: watching too much tv
If I was a swear word I'd be: Postipankki
If I was a ice cream flavour I'd be: that tiger thingie... with orange
If I was a disease I'd be: Kuppa
If I was a board game I'd be: Camelgame
If I was a cardgame I'd be: CRIBBAGE!
If I was a feeling I'd be: Obsession
If I was a president I'd be: surprised
If I was a war I'd be: dying
If I was a city I'd be: Cannock ;P silve
If I was a colour I'd be: Blue
If I was a celebrity I'd be: David Boreanaz's well-known painter wife
If I was a movie I'd be: Nightmare Before Christmas or fight Club
If I was a brand of toothpaste: Pepsodent Kids
If I was a company I'd be: IP Productions
If I was a currency I'd be: spent
If I were a month, I'd be: JanuaryFebruaryMarchAprilMayJuneandJuly
AugustSeptemberOctoberNovemberdee-de-deed-deeDecember
If I were a day of the week, I'd be: SUNDAY
If I were a time of day, I'd be: Evening
If I were a planet, I'd be: Mars
If I were a sea animal, I'd be: Sea turtle called Crush
If I were a direction, I'd be: which way
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: antique
If I were a sin, I'd be: Sloth
If I were a liquid, I'd be: soup
If I were a tree, I'd be: Orangetree
If I were a bird, I'd be: Cuckoo
If I were a tool, I'd be: rather a hammer than a nail
If I were a flower/plant, I'd be: orangetree
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: Little windy
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be: Sitar
If I were an animal, I'd be: a frog
If I were a vegetable, I'd be: carrot
If I were a sound, I'd be: whale being spoken
If I were an element, I'd be: water
If I were a car, I'd be: Aston Martin
If I were a song, I'd be: In the Castle of the mountain King by Edvard Krieg
If I were a book, I'd be: Harry Potter book
If I were a food, I'd be: something called... bouillabaisse
If I were a material, I'd be: rock
If I were a taste, I'd be: too sweet
If I were a word, I'd be: Plurpsis
If I were a body part, I'd be: Legs
If I were a facial expression, I'd be: confused
If I were a shape, I'd be: a circle of course - it's perfect like i am
If I were a number, I'd be: 123,456,789
If I were a poem, I'd be: The poem in iippo by Lewis Carroll
If I were a Kitchen Utensil, I'd be: toaster
If I were one of the four Hobbits, I'd be: pippin
If I were a decade, I'd be: 1920's
If I were a weapon, I'd be: a pointy stick (whoo Areena5)
If I were a Beatle, I'd be: yoko
If I were a style of music, I'd be: Adult Pop/rock
If I were a type of hat, I'd be: on somebody's head!
If I were a mode of transport, I'd be: taxi
If I were a Charlie's Angel, I'd be: Lucy Liu
If I were a Saint, I'd be: Simon
If I were a Book in the Bible, I'd be: John
If I were a building material, I'd be: worried that wasps might nest in me
If I were a hair colour, I'd be: blonde with blonde streaks XD
If I were a Weather Man/ Woman, I'd be: The frostman
If I were a type of fish, I'd be: Marlin
If I were a TV channel, I'd be: SubTV
If I were an animal, I'd be: Maki
If I were an art medium, I'd be: pencil
If I were a film, I'd be: Fight Club or Nightmare Before Christmas
If I were a DIY programme, I'd be: more confused than i am of this question
If I were Thelma or Louise, I'd be: seen that film, which i haven't

NEMO ROCKS! *starts quoting Nemo like the madman she is* "The seamonkey has my money!" "You've got serious thrill-issues.. awesome!" "I know that dude it's the jellyman!""Sharkbait! Oohh.... daba...doo..." "Don't you people realise we are swimming in our own-!" "Dentist, what's a dentist? Oh my goodness, Nigel, get in there! Aeh chaan't ghoo inh theewe! (the fish is in Nigel's mouth)" "something's wrong with you. Really." "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming" "Come here lil fella... oh a big fella... big- whale? maybe he only speaks whale..." "CoooOOOoomeeeeEEee BAAAAaaaCkkkkk eeeooooouUUuuuoo! (<-whale-language)" "what's a couple of bites like you doing out so late?" "Nothing, we're not doing anything. We're not even out." "Greeeat! Then how'd you two morsels like to come to a little... a little get-together I'm having?" "You mean like a party?" "yeah yeah, you're right, a party hahaha. So, what do you say?" "ooh, i love parties! that sounds like fun!" "You know parties are fun, and it's tempting but we really can't because-" "Oh come on, I insist! "Okay... that's all that matters" "I live in this anemone and I'm used to these kinds of stings" "Boing! Boing! You can't catch me!" "the question is Dori, are you hungry?" "Huh? Hungry?" "yeah, coz your about to eat my bubbles!" "We're in a whale don't you get it? A whale! Coz you had to ask for directions! And now we're stuck here!" "A whale? You know I speak whale." "No, you're insane, you can't speak whale!" "Yes I can!" "No you can't, you think you can do these things but you just cant nemo!" "He touched the butt!" "All new explorers must answer a science question: you live in what kind of a home?" "in a anenomyniiny. Anemonynemoanmenoninny- " okay, don't hurt yourself" "Okay the drop-off." duuude... focus duude"
"Oh hey he lives hey dude!" "what happened?" "Saw the whole thing dude. First you were all like whoa! Then we were like WHOOA! then you were all like whoooa..." "what are you talking about?" you miniman, taking on the jellies!" "whoa dude, mr. turtle is my father. Name's Crush!" "Crush? Really? Okay Crush, listen, i need to get to the east australian current. EAC?" "Duude... you're riding it dude! Check it out!" "Kill the motor dude. Let us see what Squirt does flying solo." "sorry, i didn't see you... sir" "Will you quit it? trying to swim here! what ocean not big enough for you something like that? huh? you got a problem buddy, huh? do ya? do ya? do ya? Wanna piece of me, ooh yeah i'm scared now! What?" "What are you talking about, you were sowing me which way the boat went!" "A boat? Hey, i've seen a boat, it passed by. not too long ago" "Remember how we met?" "well i try not to" "well i remember." "maybe while i'm at school, ill see a shark!" "I highly doubt that!" "have you ever met a shark?" "no, and i don't plan to." "how old are seaturtles?" "Seaturtles? I.. don't know." "Sandy Plankton from next door says that- says that- that they live to be about a hundred years old!" "Well, if i ever meet one, i'll ask him. After i'm done talking to the shark, okay?" "Dad, can i go play there too?" "i would feel better if you'd go to play to the sponge beds..." "what's wrong with his fin?" "He looks funny!" "*batzam* Hey what did i do what did i do?" "Be nice. It's his first day of school" "He was born with it kids. We call it his lucky fin" "see this tentacle? it's actually shorter than all my other tentacles. but you can't really tell. specially when i twirl them like this." "I'm H2O intolerant. achoo" "i'm obnoxious!" "Where's the break? Do you feel a break? Sometimes you can't tell when there's fluids rushing to the area, now any rushing fluids? Are you woozy? How many stripes do i have?" "i'm fine!" "Answer the stripe-question!" "three!" "no! I knew something was wrong with you, i have one... two... three thats all i have? you're okay" "how's the lucky fin?" "Lucky!" "uh uh uuh, forgot to brush. Or do you want this anemone to sting you?" "yes!" "brush!" *shruups shreeps* "okay i'm done!" "you missed a spot!" where?"

And now, something completely different (<-- a phrase I learnt from Monty Python's Flying Circus. You should too).
Alright, I tried this arithmancy/numerology -program out to see if it could be put to use in a rpg. But this turned out to be bloody scary! It knew all this stuff by calculations it had made from my name and date of birth! Now, here's mine.

    YOUR CHARACTER

    What a lovely personality ! (aww, thanks!) Everything and everyone prompts you to create, to invent, to innovate. (I feel that too) You are very sociable and speak without detour. (That is, when I really start speaking...)
    You give priority to the mind, even sometimes to spirituality. (Ok, fair enough...) You are also able to go back to the source within yourself. (I didn't quite understand...)
    When facing a sudden event, you react according to others' sakes in order to protect them. (I thought I was protecting myself from others)
    Your deepest desire is to experiment, to discover, to constantly change existence. (O_O how did... this thing is amazing!)
    Actually, you sometimes appear to be shy. (No kiddin?!) In fact, you wish to be independent. (Here here) You sometimes take initiatives. (A rare sometime, I'd say)
    You behave as someone clever enough (behave? I'm not clever enough?!) to take advantage of any original experience linked with communication. You inherited from your forefathers their humanity and their pride.(o.O so that's where that comes from) To finish with, your character is whole for you keep your last name unchanged. (It gives this to everyone who hasn't had a previous name) You do not undergo hesitations like these and those who have changed name during their existence. (Actually I wouldn't mind changing my lastname, but I won't bother until I get married)
     First of all, you are a creative soul. (duh... but it is amazing this program knew it!) Whatever your means of expression may be, you constantly need to create. (Have I noted this many many times...)
    You appreciate new, clever means of reasoning. (I love reasoning... it doesn't work because they sometimes tangle themselves up... funfun) You are open to other methods. Your mind is mobile and adapts itself easily to different methods of learning. (”build it with plasticine!”) You avoid heavy and righteous speeches, (ok) you avoid the unchanging knowledge of our ancestors. (? I do?)
    Your magnetism is acute. (o.O eh?) You live your emotions so intensively that you don't hide them and you 're even able to use them in your relationships. (Not quite agree with everything, but yet again, I am inside me so it's harder to say...) Actually, you are guided by your emotions, and you are influenced by them, so as to shift from total bliss into helplessness. (oops, didn't have to share that, now did I?)
    You are very far from physical activity. (Right on!) You don't like to move, nor to meet the demands of a sportive discipline. (Tell them!) You don't like to feel physically tired. (I hate that!) Exercice bores you. (So true! And this program knew that from my name and date of my birth! A-may-zing!)
    You have a great potential to feel, to perceive and to guess. (Really? Didn't guess that one) If you decide to use this potential for a humanitarian goal, you will develop it even further. In some cases, mediums can be mentionned. (Didn't quite get this)

    YOUR MAIN QUALITIES

    First of all, you have a strong personality and are usually very positive. (Yes, yes is such a powerful word) You are entreprising, direct, at ease as soon as initiatives must be taken. Furthermore, this yearning after committing yourself, after participating is particularly blatant.within the framework of associations, of the couple or of contracts.
    Your capacity of adapting yourself, your skill of collaborating will be tested during the phases that correspond to the challenge of number 2 (see below), even if partly mastered. However, you find it easier to cooperate.if you happen to meet somebody, who accepts to be near you whenever you need him/her but who lets you free. Not always easy to balance out... (not quite there yet)
    However, your sociable nature, your taste for communication will be tested as you accept challenge of number 3. Furthermore, you strive so much after wanting to manifest your expressive and artistic skills that you scatter them away. (o.O)
    You are the ideal confidant, the one people come to for advice or to be cheered up. (Sometimes I really do hope they'd stop that) You perfectly know how to behave when it comes to family duties (please note that the word family must be taken at large, i.e including a circle of friends). In fact, you face up to your responsibilities in a very personal way, although you don't ask for more. (I don't like that word... responsibility...) You wouldn't think about letting someone else act in your place. (hmm, when it's about taking the dog out this doesn't apply, but I guess it means deeper stuff)
    You are mostly calm and quiet. (True) You prove methodical. Your skills to think things over, to take a step back avoid many problems. You often have too strong a faith in whatever you deem is true. Furthermore, your first move is not to trust others. Your inner space is private. (True, don't be offended if I shut you out) It belongs to you and you don't want to share it. (O.o frighteningly accurate words)

    YOUR MAIN EXCESSES

    You are the Idealistic person, with a big I. The one who would set out to rebuild the world over. (teeheehee... ^^;;) But on the other hand, you are particularly emotive, even if you usually don't show it. Each move, each act from others affect you deeply. (Yeah...) Your idealistic impulses are very powerful. But is it possible to make this great hope you have for humanity ever come true ? Anyway, you commit yourself, you accept responsibilities subsequently, that's for sure.
    You deeply yearn after learning, helping and teaching others.(YES!)

    YOUR MAIN DEFECTS

    Be simpler, be more obvious, instead of making everything complicated. (o.O but complicated is more fun. And it's not that easy to see the simpler way out) You are too tidy, almost. (If this means about vacuum cleaning and stuff then it's off big time!)
    You prove too possessive, too dependent on things and people around you. (Ehhee... but my people are mine!) A slight change in sight, and you become a nervous wreck. (Has happened) Moreover, you accept to change, but only if you decided it, because you feel uneasy when facing whatever you haven't decided to meet on the way. (*nod**nod*)
    Your relationship with money and power is very different from the norm. (avoidance is my relationship with money... it avoids me) This is why you might live situations in which your way of considering things will not be understood. (Hah, in your face Bär!) Be careful !

    YOUR PREDISPOSITIONS

    Given the above analysis, we will now carry out a synthesis of all these different influences. You find it easier to work on a team than on your own. (Hmm... maybe easier, but I definetly prefer to work alone. I love being on my own) You 'd rather not take initiatives. You are perfectly able to collaborate, be it in professional or in heart matters. You are excellent at facing up professional responsibilities. You highly appreciate relationships around you. (Other people having touching relationships with each other is fabulous) You love to be surrounded, having party with your friends. (I do? Well I don't do that often, partying...) You need a job which doesn't fall into routine and which lets you sufficient free time and free to move about. (Totally!) If not, you will be depressed. You love travelling as much as you love staying at home with the ones you love. (I do love travelling... ones I love? My dog?) In fact, your family often comes along when you move around, and appreciates these experiences. (My mum tags along to concerts...?) You like to think things over before you take any decision.(Actually I deside, then reconsider) You are either not materialistic enough or too materialistic. (*Looks at all the stuff around her* I'm not materialistic... eh?). You must find a balance.

    YOUR DESTINY

    Your life is influenced by number 5. It means that this itinerary asks you to adapt yourself to brutal changes of situations in all spheres of your existence. (brutal changes are coming in my life when I move soon...) Be vigilant because this itinerary also includes risks of accident.
    Your Cosmic Key is 17. It is like a real and spiritual guide. It indicates that your destiny will be deeply affected by external persons (living or not) assisting you. They will help you to know right from wrong. (I dare not to comment on my destiny... tho hopefully this is true)

    YOUR DEBTS

    First, you may distinguish aspects of your existence where it will be necessary to provide a particular effort during several years. The exit is always favorable as soon as you have taken conscience of the problem, and that you fully stand for it.

    First of all you must overcome your natural trend to lazyness. (Eh... how did it know I'm lazy?!) You 'd rather escape realities that appear too compelling to you. (How embarrasing) You lack perseverance, industriousness, a certain form of steadiness, patience. (Speaking of a person who's the first to step out of the bus and always at least five minutes too early... yeah, I'm not patient.) Routine, as well as any hierarchic commandment, scare you. (I thought I liked hierarchy.) You must therefore realize the quality of your work, when you come down to it. (Your saying there's something wrong with the quality of my work?) Another aspect of yours, many persons are like yourself. It's the thirst of power, of authority, of social status, or on the opposite, totally denying to stand up for them. (Eek!) It is necessary to know how to go about with this, that means to find a balance between giving everything up, or keeping everything for you. Living socially together, without fueling power conflicts, nor cultivating the taste of power. Accept differences !
    Facing difficulties, you don't want to interfere in other people's business. (True true...) You count only on yourself (totally) and foster a form of permanent hope.
    In second place, you must expect breakdowns. (Yeh, I know...) These moments are difficult to determine. Often they are short but very tough to live through. For instance, the brutal loss of a person you love, the treachery of a friend, a project that crumbles, the departure of a spouse... Numerology enables you to determine to what old pattern this consequence corresponds.
    A long time ago, you used to be in power (social, spiritual, physical power...). You took advantage of your superiority. (When?!) Today, you must use your power of leading, of showing the way on behalf of those who are in need. (What? Your asking an 18-year-old to lead the way? Forget it!) But in order to be able to use this authority in your social life, you will have to overcome delays, material issues and in certains cases, to follow a genuine spiritual path. You will often feel like destiny is particularly harsh on you. (I think all will) As soon as your behaviour aims at confronting yourself with others, expect certain aspects of your life to get lost. (O_O) This debt is the most difficult to live up to, but it also holds the most beautiful promise of rebirth, if you prove able to fight without harming others, and channel your powers without scattering them away. (Okay, this IS scary...)

    YOUR CHALLENGES

        Your principal challenge is symbolised by number 3. It indicates that you will have to learn how to express yourself. (Even more expressing? I thought I'd cleared that) Creating, but having at the same time others listen to you and understand you. Not an easy task, especially because you might be judged as an excentric who overdoes things. (o.o;)
    Until 40 years old, You meet the challenge of number 5. It will be so that your strong appetite for earthly pleasures might play tricks on you. You will be restless. In order not to prove too excessive and not to suffer from it, you will definitely have to channel your energy.
    Passed this age, you will meet the challenge of number 2. In clear, you will need to prove very cautions in your associations and unions. In other words, cooperate and respect others, but without showing submission.

    YOUR FIRST CYCLE

    Until 31 years old, here is the climate of your existence : This is often the sign of a marriage before the cycle ends. As a child, the influence of the mother, or of a woman, was all the more important that the father was scarcely present. (Eh? My father or my kid's father?)
    This period is to be put in perspective with what you will have to stand for, namely your first realization that will finish in 2016, when you are 31 years old. During this period, you open up very early to the world around you. Expect to travel and to move. You strive after discovering and living intensively emotionally.

    YOUR SECOND CYCLE

    From 32 years old ( 2017) to 58 years old ( 2043), your existence changes : this time, you are brought to a new way of considering existence, based on research, discovery, initiation. This spiritual quest, if you are married, must not hinder your family life. Despite this, this is an excellent period for the realization of your inner self. Writing, as well as mastering esoteric techniques and knowledge are fostered.
    During this second cycle, you enter a new period of realization. From 2016 to 2034, deals with your enjoying life and friendly, interesting relationships. Very few problems come about. This is an excellent period, prone to creativity and ideal for those who have a job that deals with communication. Note that this second realization corresponds to your main challenge (0). During this nine years, obstacles will come up, only to enable you to push your limits further. It might not always be easy, but this is how life helps us develop new skills.

    YOUR THIRD CYCLE

    Change of scenery when you are 59 years old, in 2044 : The context brings you to live a restless retirement, due to brutal and unexpected events. Sentimental difficulties might show up. You must take time to think things over. I must underline that this last cycle, symbolized by 7, is the same as your life path. Because of that, it is quite certain to happen, hardly avoidable.
    The last period of realization starts in 2034, when you are 49 years old. In the long run, you seek a calm place that looks like you. You find new points of interest in research, esoterism and/or spirituality. Complicity dwells within,unspoken. You beam.

One more anti-puppydog dream my subconscious cooked up: I was playing with this huge gun I had seen on Ripley's and I pointed it around and shot a huge hole on my dog, accidentially. Then I almost had to put it out of it's misery when i noticed it was okay...

Is negro a bad word in english language? It means a race, right? One type of black. I don't understand the fuzz about it, any other word for a certain race of humans, like arab, isn't considered bad. I do understand that nigger is bad, but is negro? I don't see it bad in finnish language unless it's said in an evil tone. hmm.

Another one: Dante's hell thing (I've read the book ,u know)


The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 8 times.
The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!

Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many and varied sinners suffer eternally in the multi-leveled Malebolge, an ampitheatre-shapped pit of despair Wholly of stone and of an iron colour: Those guilty of fraudulence and malice; the seducers and pimps, who are whipped by horned demons; the hypocrites, who struggle to walk in lead-lined cloaks; the barraters, who are ducked in boiling pitch by demons known as the Malebranche. The simonists, wedged into stone holes, and whose feet are licked by flames, kick and writhe desperately. The magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, and panderers are all here, as are the thieves. Some wallow in human excrement. Serpents writhe and wrap around men, sometimes fusing into each other. Bodies are torn apart. When you arrive, you will want to put your hands over your ears because of the lamentations of the sinners here, who are afflicted with scabs like leprosy, and lay sick on the ground, furiously scratching their skin off with their nails. Indeed, justice divine doth smite them with its hammer.

Purgatory Repenting Believers - Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo Virtuous Non-Believers - Low
Level 2 Lustful - Low
Level 3 Gluttonous - Moderate
Level 4 Prodigal and Avaricious - Moderate
Level 5 Wrathful and Gloomy - Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis Heretics - Very Low
Level 7 Violent - Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers - Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus Treacherous - High

Crap, this isn't very nice!

I'm finally gonna do this test, but before i do, i wanna guess what i get from it. so here is the guess:

Paranoid: Somewhat paranoid, i guess
Schizoid: nah
Schizotypal: nah
Antisocial: pretty much
Borderline: pretty much
Histrionic: can't tell
Narcissistic: yep
Avoidant: rather much
Dependent: nah
Obsessive-Compulsive: yep

and here the real result:

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Very High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

WHAT? I'm higly histrionic?!? *freaks out*

-------------------------------------------
Paranoid
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges.

Schizoid
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."

Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Antisocial
A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.

Borderline
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

Narcissistic
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Dependent
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.

Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.

Another dream:
I was at Pirttilä or some other hall-like place and Peter Gabriel was about to play live there. he was sitting in the front of the room waiting for the thing to start, and i was waiting it to start too. (note: im not a gabriel fan, i have heard one song by him, but [windowframe] is) so i went over and asked for his autograph. he gave me two: one normal and one like with a dedication. but instead of my name, he wrote to Hillevi. (hillevi is a mouse's name). i said thatnks, but that's not my name. he offered to replace it, but isaid, nah leave it, it's funny... then i went home but i was late for dinner and my mum got really angry at me...

peter gabriel was involved in the 46664 -thing for south africa... maybe that caused me to dream about him. strange thing was that in the dream i really idolized him... it is strange what u can feel in a dream...

Okay, I think my subconscious has something against my dog. Now, in reality the dog is something between the cutest thing in the world and a huge monster with 2 cm long teeth. I've had troubling dreams about my dog, in two nights in a row:
1. In the dream my dog was a wolf, and it didn't like anybody else but me - so it was nice to me but dangerous to anyone else. And all the other dogs in my neigbourhood attacked my dog-wolf. It fought them, and then joined to them and they attacked the dog who lives next to my house... I had to rescue my dog. My friend came with her car n she took me n my dog so we'd take him to safety. We drove to a strange museum... rest of the dream is irrelevant (=no more dog in it)
2. In reality I play-fight with my dog, like puppies do, you know, run around, bite each other (not hard, n I of course don't bite him, I grab him with my hands or slap him carefully). I did that in my dream too, it was rather realistic, but when we stopped playin, I noticed my dog was bleeding all over. I had made him bleed, which is awful because I love the lil critter... o.O

TO PLAY I NEVER.
PUT AN (x) IN FRONT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE
AND A (_) ON THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONCE. ADD AN "I NEVER" OF YOUR OWN.


I NEVER
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK (I really haven't)
(X) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT (No, no)
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX (Many times, I like the opposite sex)
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (Did this too, i like the same sex)
(X) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR (Can't drive)
(X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN (I'd want to tho)
(_) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI (I have)
(X) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX (Well... not very comfortable with the idea, y'see)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE (Oh, I wish! Such pain and happiness that is, it must be unhealthy)
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX (Simple as that.)
(X) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC (*sigh* if i had had sex, it had probably been in a public place)
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED (yeh)
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED (ehheehee... ^^; sorry)
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED (Never had a proper job)
(X) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT (I'm a lover not a fighter)
(X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME (Yet, no sex)
(X) I NEVER BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE (?)
(X) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY) (pscht)
(X) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING (I lock the door)
(_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF (Hey, I was ill!)
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX (*sigh*)
(X) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED (They'll never catch me!)
(_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER (On a cruise)
(_) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB (School counts yes?)
(_) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE (It was a disaster, btw)
(_) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND (...sigh)
(_) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER (oops)
(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL (it was an accident! I swear! No, it was my mum's idea!)
(X) I NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER (Never slept w/ anyone n never worked)
(X) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING (Too moneyful)
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING (who hasn't?)
(_) I NEVER PUT MY PANTS ON MY HEAD RANDOMLY (of course i have!)
(X) I NEVER WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX (thank god not)
(X) I NEVER WALKED IN ON MY PARENTS HAVING SEX (THANK GOD NOT!)
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX (pscht)
(X) I NEVER EGGED A PT CRUISER OR HONDA ELEMENT (what?)
(_) I NEVER LIED JUST TO COVER MY OWN ASS (and someone else's ass too!)
(_) I NEVER CUT SOMEONE AND MADE THEM BLEED (I'm someone yes?)
(_)I NEVER ( EVER EVER EVER ) FANTASIZED ABOUT BRANDON (probably someone called brandon i have...)
(_) I NEVER ACCIDENTLY SEXUALLY ASSULTED AN UMBRELLA... (oh come on, who hasn't?)
(X) I NEVER PASSED OUT WHILE STANDING UP (LIKE, FAINTED)

---------------------------------------------


10 questions. Pick a band and answer only using that bands song titles
chosen band: The Beatles
1. Are you a male or a female: Girl
2. Describe yourself: Her majesty
3. How do some people feel about you: Fool on the hill
4. how do you feel about yourself: I'm so tired
5. describe your family: Piggies (not really!)
6. where would you rather be: Across the universe or Back in the USSR
7. describe what you want to be:Something
8. Describe how you live: She's leaving home or A day in the life
9. describe how you love: All my loving
10. describe what you hate: Rain or Junk

Something this cool has to be in my place so here it is.
The Stake Join it you mutant!

Isn't it awfly nice to have a penis...
Isn't frighfully good to have a dong...
It's swell to have a stiffy...
It's devine to own a dick...
From the tiniest little tadger...
TO THE WORLDS BIGGEST PRICK!

I love this song and the man who sings it...

i love live gigs, it's the immediate interact with the me and the artist... if he says something funny, i laugh, if he does something great, i applaude, if i applaude, he thanks...

PERSONAL STANCE ON:
Homosexuality: No different from heterosexuality, bisexuality or metrosexuality: what makes you tick is your business, if it's love, it's all right.
Abortion: A woman's right to choose - although it is her own fault (rape victims aside) she's knocked up. Never see this happening to me.
Religion: Human's way of avoidingthe fact that randomness rules the universe. Nothing happens for a good reason.
Eating disorders: a disease, sickness, heath problem that people need help to. Get help.
Animal rights: Animals right to live, be healthy and have no suffering. Humans are the only ones who break these rights.
Love at first sight: possible, has happened to me.
God: creation and creator.
Marilyn Manson: attention-seeker
Guy bands: way to make money. Have no artistical value
Spice girls: so old already, who remembers them?
Premarital sex: everyone's own choice, though true love waits.
Titanic: A horrid disaster in the history of seafaring
Jerry Springer: some guy who goes away if you turn off the TV
Suicide: Wrong way out.
Self mutilation: attention seeking.
Dreams: legal drugs without addiction
Aliens: "Hope there's some intelligent life out in the universe coz there's bugger off down here on earth"
Horoscopes: Star signs? Imagination but bemusing.
Hell: State of mind
Transvestites: A way of life, no less humans than anybody
Pop music: A gathering of musical notation formed into an easy-to-like, hummable form to make money
Rap: Originally a way to escape grim reality of a dangerous ghetto, novadays just another form of pop music.
80's music: Different styles of music composed and performed during the 1980-decade. People think it has a distinguished sound, which is like saying everyone who lived in the 80's were perfectly alike.
Punk: Another way of escaping the grim reality, a form of rebellion. Filthiness is its trademark, you have to be a certain sort of person to like punk.

Duck tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe togethe

I Went To A Party, Mom

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put Daddy's Girl on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That its wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say I love you, Mom
So I love you and good-bye.

I read this once then lost it and now i am re-united (=it's not my text) so yay