Quick update time! ♥

James and I have been together for 6 months. Throughout our relationship, we have overcome many obstacles. Some of which were harder than others for the two of us to conquer, but our love grows stronger with every day that passes.

The people that have known me for the past 3 years know that I've been searching for that one guy who will truly understand me and who will accept me for who I truly am. The day I laid my eyes on James is the day I knew I had found him.

We had only known each other for about 2 weeks before we started dating, but those 2 weeks were the most amazing weeks I had had in a long time. My lifestyle changed, and I finally started to enjoy life. I have gained friends, and have gotten rid of the bad people who claimed they were my friends.

6 months later, I'm still crazy in love with the guy who changed my life around. He is also crazy in love with me, and for that, I am certain. It is like a fairytale romance, where the prince saves the damsel in distress.

As I finish, I'd like to say that it's quite amazing how my life changed within seconds the night before my 19th birthday. I never thought I'd ever find true love after I had just gotten out of an almost 2-year relationship, but love surprised me. I'm just happy to have found the love of my life after all this time. ♥

Wow... what a weekend! Friday night was good for the most part. Katlin and I went to see "Get Smart" with Katlin's dad so that was fun. But that wasn't the main highlight of my weekend...

The main highlight of my weekend was Saturday night after I got off of work. I took a taxi to Katlin's house since Katlin said he was going to be in the hot tub with his mom and he was exhausted from the long walk he had taken earlier. I arrived, and Katlin wasn't in the hot tub, but he was fixing it up for his mom so she could enjoy her coolers while relaxing. I dropped off my things downstairs in the basement in Katlin's room, and I headed outside. Katlin and I roasted a few weiners on the fire that he had made in his backyard, and Kaylee, Katlin's miniature beagle puppy was trying her best to get our food. We gave her our last weiner, and Katlin and I headed inside. What a mistake that was...

Once inside, Katlin and I went downstairs to his room to find something to do. I continued to do my crossword puzzles while trying to think of something we could do. Well, little did we know, our night was just about to get interesting...

Katlin's mom, Aline put Kaylee in the house, saying she couldn't handle how hyper she was, so Kaylee lied down close to the door, where she usually sleeps when there are people outside. Katlin was going to go upstairs to go see Kaylee, but he decided not to since he wanted me to find us something to do. Soon after, Katlin's mom's boyfriend, Gerry ended up coming inside to get a drink. He opened the door slowly, knowing that Kaylee would be sleeping at the door. It's when he was going back outside that our weekend took a turn for the worst...

We're not sure exactly what happened because Gerry was too intoxicated to remember, but we think it went something like this...

Gerry went to go open the door to go outside, and Kaylee tried to boot it to go see Aline. While she did that, she ended up between Gerry's legs, which caused him to panic and he tripped... and he fell on the floor, and ended up putting weight on his elbow, which ended up falling on Kaylee's right hip. The trauma was so harsh for Kaylee that she ended up urinating on the floor as she laid there.

Kaylee let out a loud yelp, and Katlin and I both knew it wasn't a yelp of loneliness, but a yelp of pain. Kaylee continued to yelp, and Katlin rushed up the stairs to see Gerry getting up off of the floor. Aline came inside, and she grabbed Kaylee in her arms. She ran her legs under cold water, hoping she would stop yelping, but unfortunately, it didn't help. We laid Kaylee on Aline and Gerry's bed, and we were trying to figure out what to do. Aline said to call a vet, but it was 11:45 PM so the chances were slim of getting a vet at that time. I called a pet taxi, and they said it would cost 245$ to bring her to a vet. We were flat broke so that wasn't going to happen. I tried another vet, and luckily, there was an emergency line and there was a vet on call. Unfortunately, there was still going to be a 210$ fee to check her out. Meanwhile, Gerry kept saying how he did nothing, and Katlin got so pissed that he pushed Gerry out of the room. Gerry got pissed off, and he ended up falling asleep on the couch after we asked him many times what had happened.

Anyways, we thought Kaylee had broken her front right leg because she was sleeping on it, but it wasn't until she tried to walk that we realized that her back right leg was injured. So, Aline called around to see if anyone could help us with the fee to get her checked out. Unfortunately, she didn't have much luck. So, I ended up taking my rent money and then some, and I handed it to Katlin. The look in Katlin's eyes was so warming, it melted my heart. He was so happy that I was willing to give my hard-earned money to get Kaylee checked out. We finally got the money we needed, and we called up Aline's sister, Shirley for a ride to the vet. Meanwhile, Aline gave Kaylee half of a baby aspirin, and she tried to put an ice pack on Kaylee's leg, but Kaylee got frightened and yelped some more.

Finally, Shirley came in, and we rushed to the vet. We got there, and I made a point to ask as many questions as possible because I seemed to be the only one who actually knew what to inquire about. We found out that her hip was shattered, and she needed an operation. It would cost from 2000$ to 3000$, and she gave them another alternative, to put her to sleep. So, after the check-up was complete, and Kaylee got injected with some morphine, I paid the vet. Then, I asked the one question that was on my mind the whole time... "What if I don't want my puppy to die? Can't you give her to the SPCA and they can find a good home for her? She's only 7 months, and it wouldn't be right to put down a young pup like her." The vet replied, "The SPCA doesn't do that anymore. They would need to find someone who would be willing to pay for the operation." That's when everyone knew we had to put Kaylee down.

Back at home, we spent our last moments with Kaylee, knowing at 9:30 AM, she would be gone. I cried, Katlin cried and Aline cried. It was horrible. I hadn't felt so out of place like that since Missy died 5 years ago. Missy was my dog, and she got hit by a car, and my dad had to make the decision to put her down. Anyways, I went home at 4:30 AM, feeling exhausted and depressed. I took some pictures of Kaylee to keep momentos of the 2 months I had known her.

Katlin and Aline stayed up all night with Kaylee, spending their last moments with her. Once the morphine kicked in, Kaylee limped all the way to Aline, and whimpered like she wanted to lay on her mommy's stomach like she always did. So, Aline put her on her stomach and Kaylee fell asleep for 3 hours while Katlin and Aline watched her. Katlin even had her in his arms at one point, holding her as he listened to her breathe.

Sunday morning, Gerry told his story, but everything didn't seem to fit. Gerry still got the money to put her down, and by the afternoon, she was gone. It was a sad ending to a night that changed in the matter of seconds. It made me understand Katlin's despise against drinking and drugs because all of this could've been prevented.

The weird thing is, Katlin had a puppy before who was the same age as Kaylee, Nikita. Gerry didn't tie her properly, and she ended up darting for the road. She ended up getting hit by a truck. So once again, Katlin lost his puppy.

And the really sad part about it all was that Saturday, Katlin and Aline took her for a nice long walk, Aline gave her a bath and they gave her a lot of TLC that day.

So as I finish, I've learned that things can change in a matter of seconds, life is very precious, and some things are taken for granted.

"To Kaylee, you are loved and you will be sadly missed by all of us. I'm glad you're not suffering anymore. You will always be in our thoughts and in our hearts. You will always be that little beagle who loved to come and see me every time I came over, the playful puppy that Katlin loved to tease and hug, and that sweet little hound that loved to sleep on Aline's stomach. Rest in peace, sweetheart. We love you."

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I must smoke weed.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I take ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up whore.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.

I have GERMAN HERITAGE, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I dont like the SUN, so I MUST be albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

Repost this if you believe stereotyping is wrong.

This is my favorite song at the moment. I keep playing it over and over again in my room.

Never Say Goodbye

Never been in love
Cause a girl like me
Never had someone to care for
Never thought there could be
Someone special for me
And now I'm all in love
Cause a girl like me
Waited patiently for someone
Someone to care for me
And there will never be

No more lonely, no more just me
I've been there before
Ain't goin no more
And now that you're here I
Never wanna say goodbye love
Never wanna be without you
No more cryin, no denyin'
I'm in love with you
And now that you're here I
I never wanna say goodbye love


Now it's time for me
To find out what the first time love could mean
Little scared but its cool
Cause it's worth it
Now I finally fell in love
And I know that it
Gots to be for real (So real)
It's the way that I feel
So come share my world with me
So there will never be

No more lonely, no more just me
I've been there before
Ain't goin no more
And now that you're here I
Never wanna say goodbye love
Never wanna be without you
No more cryin, no denyin' I'm in love with you
And now that you're here I
I never wanna say goodbye love


So I'm standin here
Arms open wide
Ready to give my heart
I'm sure this time
Love's gonna last for life
Baby I know things change
And there might be some rain
But the clouds are gonna clear
And the sun is gonna shine again
Shine light on our love baby
So let's make it last forever

No more lonely, no more just me
I've been there before
Ain't goin no more
And now that you're here I
Never wanna say goodbye love
Never wanna be without you
No more cryin, no denyin'
I'm in love with you
And now that you're here I
I never wanna say goodbye love

This song is always on my mind all day. It's one of my favorite Keith Urban songs. He's like my idol.

Better Life

Friday night and the moon is high
I'm wide-awake just watchin' you sleep
And I promise you you're gonna have
More than just the things that you need
We ain't got much now, We're just startin' out
But I know somehow paradise is comin'

Chorus:
Someday baby, You and I are gonna be the ones
Good luck's gonna shine
Someday baby you and I are gonna be the ones
So hold on
We're headed for a better life

Oh now there's a place for you and me
Where we can dream as big as the sky
I know it's hard to see it now
But baby someday we're gonna fly
This road we're on, you know it might be long
But my faith is strong
It's all that really matters

(REPEAT CHORUS)

So hold on, hold on
C'mon baby, hold on

Yeah, we're gonna have it all
And ooh

(REPEAT CHORUS TWICE)

Oh, a better life
Hey we're gonna leave this all behind us baby, wait and see
We're headed for a better life, you and me
We're gonna break the chains that bind and, finally we'll be free
We're gonna be the ones that have it all, you and me
Just hold on tight now baby

This is a song that I've been playing over and over every night, and it gets me every time.

Tonight I Wanna Cry

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

Chorus:
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

(REPEAT CHORUS TWICE)

This is a song that I've been listening to for quite a while.

It’s All About You

I told them when I met you, I’d do anything it took to get you.
I bet they never thought I’d ever take it this far.
I work two jobs but that’s alright, made up my mind,
To dedicate my whole life to your life, baby, you’re a superstar.

It’s all about you
Everything that I do, it’s all about you.
My mission in life, my purpose on Earth,
To make sure you get all the love you deserve.
It’s all about you.

I’ll buy a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, get you tickets to
All the awesome concerts and the monster truck shows.
I’ll take you on a Carribean cruise, buy you a hundred pairs of new shoes,
Dress you up in fishnets, pants and all that stuff.

It’s all about you
Everything that I do, it’s all about you.
My mission in life, my purpose on Earth,
To make sure you get all the love you deserve.
It’s all about you.

Do what you gotta do, don’t worry about me,
As long as I got you, that’s all I need.

There ain’t no one, nowhere, no how, no way, no girl’s
Gonna work harder for you any day.
Baby, every day...

It’s all about you
Everything that I do, it’s all about you.
My mission in life, my purpose on Earth,
To make sure you get all the love you deserve.
It’s all about you.


Hope you like it!!

Everyone at Sacre-Coeur hates Mel P. I find how ppl treat her kind of depressing. I know she totally ruined my life last semester but I still feel bad for her. I went through the same treatment b4 and seeing her go through it makes me feel so mean and so evil. i believe that she deserves a second chance to redeem her friends and their trust because everyone deserves a second chance... even Mel. today was her b-day and she still got treated like shit. i kinda felt her pain even though ppl like me now... so, Mel if you read this, just to let you know that i know how it feels to be teased and if ever you're willing to redeem my trust and not backstab me, you know where to find me...

Last night you gave me a kiss.
You didn’t know it, but I was awake when you did.
You were quiet, you were gonna let me sleep,
So I just laid there pretending to be.
You said some things you didn’t know I could hear,
And the words “I love you” never sounded so sincere.

Chorus:
It’s gonna make it hard to tell you that I’m leaving,
Now that I know just how much you care.
You finally gave me one good reason not to go.
But staying here is my worst fear.

This morning I rolled out of bed,
Recalling all the sweet things you said.
This was the day I was gonna hurt you bad.
Called out your name, but you didn’t answer back.
I searched the house to find out what was wrong,
Like a ton of bricks, it hit me you were gone.

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:
All along I knew that there was something missing,
And only one thing left to do.
I had to leave behind this life that we’d been living,
But the only thing that left was you.

Second Chorus:
It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving,
Now that I know just how much you care.
You finally gave me one good reason not to go.
But being alone is my worst fear.
And staying here is my worst fear.

This is one of my fave Terri Clark hits but I changed a little part of it...

I'm Alright

After all was said and done, there was nothing left to do.
The hardest mile I've ever walked is the one I walked away from you.
So maybe I'm a little ragged around the edges,
And I've been keeping a little more to myself these days but...

I'm alright, shot down but I'm still standing.
I'm alright, a little banged up from the fall.
But I'm alright, still shaky from the landing.
I'm alright, after all.

You know it's really not that bad, no matter how bad it might feel,
Because this ain't nothing my friends won't fix, this ain't nothing that my friends won't heal.
So maybe, I've been walking around a little wounded,
I move a little bit slower now but that's okay because...

I'm alright, shot down but I'm still standing.
I'm alright, a little banged up from the fall.
But I'm alright, still shaky from the landing.
I'm alright, after all.

And every now and then, I think about you,
Oh, every now and then, I cross the line.

I'm alright, shot down but I'm still standing.
I'm alright, a little banged up from the fall.
But I'm alright, still shaky from the landing.
I'm alright, after all.
I'm alright, after all.

This is a song I've been listening to a lot these days.


That's Me Not Loving You

Do you get the feeling, even when you're not alone,
There's a memory making itself at home.
And it don't let loose, no matter what you do,
Well, that's me not loving you.

Lately, are you sleeping and you got the window closed,
But there's a crack somewhere because you can feel the cold wind blow.
And it gets to you, no matter what you do,
That's me not loving you.

Didn't I tell you when you left,
You never would forget the love you could have kept.
Now every night, in your empty room,
The only thing you're holding is the truth.
If you hear a heartbeat when there really should be two,
Well, that's me not loving you.

When all you hear is silence, then you'll know the voice is mine.
If the phone don't ring and the bells don't chime.
And that someone new, you never get used to,
That's me not loving you.

Didn't I tell you when you left,
You never would forget the love you could have kept.
Now every night, in your empty room,
The only thing you're holding is the truth.
If you hear a heartbeat when there really should be two,
Well, that's me not loving you.

Why

How could you do that to me?
Do you see right through me?
So I'm gonna move on,
Knowing that you're the one who was wrong.
You have no girl on that hook,
Because you only go for my looks.

You don't understand.
My heart was in your hand
You blew it away,
I know there's another day.
So all the pain you put me through,
I'm giving it all back to you.

I can run but I can't hide,
Of all the pain I feel inside.
I don't know what you think about me.
But I am a woman and I am free.
But why can't I forget you?
Is it because I still love you?

My lil sister, Jessica wrote this poem to describe my pain... I'm actually happy to have her as my little sister...

I saw this on Quizilla and I just had to write it down. This one is for girls!

The Perfect Guy:

Hair Color:
Eye Color:
Height:
Six Pack:
Long or Short Hair:
Glasses or contacts:
Piercings:
Scars:
Eyebrows:
Buff or Skinny:
Funny or Serious:
Party or Stay at home:
Should he know how to cook:
Should he have a best friend:
Should he have a lot of girl friends:
Outgoing or Shy:
Sarcastic or Sincere:
Should he watch chick flicks:
Would he smoke:
Would he drink:
Would he swear:
Would he play with your hair:
One or more girls at a time:
Bad Boy or Good Boy:
Would he kiss you on the first date:
Where would you go to dinner:
Would he bring you flowers:
Would he lay under the stars with you:
Would he write poetry about you:
Would he call you hunny or baby:
Would he hang out with your friends:
Would you hang out with his friends:
Would he walk you to the door at the end of the date:
Would he hold your hand:
Would he play sports:
Would he sing:
Would he play an instrument:
Would he keep his room clean:
Would he paint, draw or sculpt:
Would he write his own music:
Would he use the word "dude":
Would he use the word "tight'':
Would he watch the sunrise or sunset with you:
What kind of vehicule would he drive:
How old would he be:
Does your dream guy resemble your real boyfriend:




This one is for the guys:

The Perfect Girl

Hair Color:
Eye Color:
Height:
Long, Medium Length or Short Hair:
Glasses or contacts:
Piercings:
Eyebrows:
Taller or Shorter:
Funny or Serious:
Party or Stay at home:
Should she know how to cook:
Should she have a best friend:
Should she have a lot of guy friends:
Outgoing or Shy:
Sarcastic or Sincere:
Should she like to watch chick flicks:
Would she smoke:
Would she drink:
Would she swear:
Would she play with your hair:
One or More guys at a time:
Bad Girl or Good Girl:
Would she kiss you on the first date:
Where would you go to dinner:
Would you bring her flowers:
Would you lay under the stars with her:
Would she write poetry about you:
Would she call you hunny or baby:
Would she hang out with your friends:
Would you hang out with her friends:
Would you walk her to the door at the end of the date:
Would she hold your hand:
Would she play sports:
Would she sing:
Would she play an instrument:
Would she keep her room clean:
Would she paint, draw or sculpt:
Would she write her own music:
Would she use the word "dude":
Would she use the word "tight'':
Would you watch the sunrise or sunset with her:
What kind of vehicule would she drive:
How old would she be:
Does your dream girl resemble your real girlfriend:

This song is one of my favorites right now.


Rescued

I was bouncin' around like a bottle out on the waves
About to go under, about to get swept away
Take it from me I was lost as a girl could be

You came and you saved
A drowning girl in an ocean of pain
When you gave me your heart to hold onto
Baby, I'm rescued

It's an empty feelin' that fills your soul
When you've got nobody, you're left out in the cold
I still can't believe how you reached out to me

When you came and you saved
A drowning girl in an ocean of pain
When you gave me your heart to hold onto
Baby I'm rescued

Now even on the darkest night
Oh I'm never alone
Your love is a guiding light
Leading me home

You gave me your heart to hold onto
And I'm holding onto you
Baby I'm rescued
Baby I'm rescued