I can pretend I'm somewhere else. I picture it in my mind, tell myself that's where I am, and add action. It'll kinda take you away, take you there, somewhere deep inside your head. It's a good place, it's the place you go when you're asleep, but you're not. Well, not even really asleep, Sasha had a word for it. Like sinking into your consciousness, but you can come back. I wonder what it would be like to get stuck there.

Ahhh, concerts!!! There's just something about them that really makes me happy! Doesn't matter who I'm seeing, just being out there, front and center, screaming, clapping my hands, getting beer spilled on me, it's awesome! If you've never been to a concert, you have to go! I'm not gonna say we're all one big family, but I mean, you're so close to all those people, you can't really be prudy and try not to touch shoulders. And when everyone starts singing and you can hear them all, and you're singing too, it's just like whoa! All of us are singing the same exact song! It really rocks.

You don’t know me,
You don’t know how I feel.
You don’t know how it hurts,
How everything reminds me
Of the one who broke my heart.
Do you ever get the feeling
That you just want to sleep?
“To die; to sleep;
To sleep; perchance to dream: aye there’s the rub.”
You don’t know me,
You don’t know how I feel.
You don’t know what I think,
How I fight in my head;
For I am as one divided,
Two parts in one,
Each yelling at the other.
I always wonder if perhaps I am insane:
What normal people are opposites of themselves?
You don’t know me,
You don’t know how I feel.
You can’t see what I keep inside,
All the salty tears that corrode my hard rock surface,
All the frightened that beats against my strong walls.
You don’t know that love and anger and hurt
Mixed together can blow me up.
Maybe it’ll just take one more thing,
And I’ll lose it.

You Don't Know Me

Written By [Your Favorite Stranger]

You make me want to cut,
Just slice the veins wide open,
And watch with closing eyes
As the blood drips from my fingers.
You make me want to scream,
So loud I’ll break my voice,
And make poeple cover their ears
If they come to see what’s wrong.
You make me want to cry,
Drown eveyrthing in tears.
Just sob until I’m all dried up
And my eyes are red and swollen.
You make me want to fight,
Scream and yell and punch and hurt.
Hit everything I see.
Just strike out at everyone.
You make me want to break things,
Just throw them at the wall.
Tear things apart into tiny pieces,
Smash glass into shards on the floor.
You make me want to get high;
Smake some weed and forget about you.
Take some pills, take a trip,
Get shot up and get away.
You make me want to hurt you,
Just break you up inside.
Cut you open, tear you apart.
Give you all these scars.
You make me want to hate you,
See the fire in my eyes?
You make me want to hate you...
But I can’t.

You Make Me Want To

Written By [Your Favorite Stranger]

Something dark,
Something cold.
Something too young
To be so old.
Something painful,
Something hard.
Some new wound
That's now a scar.
Something crying,
Something sad.
Something, a memory
Of what you had.
Something angry,
Something black.
Something to stab you
In the back.
Something bloody,
Something abused.
Something left
From what you used.
Something biting,
Something dead.
Something to shoot you
In the head.
Something dirty,
Something mean.
Something slicing
At your spleen.
Something hidden,
Something low.
Something to deal
The final blow.
Something missing,
Something to seize,
Something to bring you
To your knees.
Something evil,
Something in spite.
Something you leave you
Lost in the night.
Something empty,
Something insane.
Something to bring you
Tears like rain.
Something ripping,
Something to choke.
Somethng to pay you
For the heart that you broke.
Something rotting,
Something sick.
Something to gnaw off
Your useless dick.
Something stolen,
Somethinig gone.
Something sharp
For you to die on.
Something locked up,
Something not found.
Something to bury you
Deep in the ground.
Something terrifying,
Something not free.
"Something"'s the song
To you from me.

Something For You

written by [Your Favorite Stranger]

This is my curse to you. I want you to hurt, I want you to burn, I want you to be cold and lonely. I hate you because I love you, because even after all you've done to me, I still love you, I still miss you, I still want you to comfort me. But I don't trust you, and I'll hide myself from you so you don't have that control anymore; I do. I wish I could hurt you like you've hurt me, but even if I could, I wouldn't, because I'm not like that.

Well, I spent the fisrt hour or so of Thanksgiving worrying about Sander's life. The guys were at her house, and they brought her whiskey, (which was stupid, but I digress) so she was shitfaced. Not as bad as she has been, but she was really messed up, from her face hurting, stress, and listening to Eminem. Yes, I did say from listening to Eminem, so shoot me, he messes up your brain. Anyway, she has freezing, her lips were blue, she was blacking in and out, and she passed out a time or two. Scared the shit out of me, because I wasn't there to help, I could only offer suggestions over IM to the guys. Eventually they had to go, but before they did, they made sure her temp was normal, her breathing was normal, and her heart rate was normal. She was still blue and shaking though, which kinda scared me. But right before they left she kinda woke up and talked to me, told me that she didn't give a fuck if she died, that she wanted to suffer. I think it's a lot of drama, but she does, she does make herself suffer. Her face was banged up from trying to commit suicide by jumping off her roof, and when the guys caught her, her face hit the wall. But she scared me, for a while there, I thought she was gone. I prayed, God, did I pray. I prayed that God would give her someone to make her care, like He gave to me. But I can't make her care, the guys, well they keep her coming back, the keep her fighting, but I don't know if they make her care. I was just so scared. But I think she's ok now, she sent me some emails, and she was on here.

Oh my goodness, I have to thank Will. I was over at his place the other night, and we were drinking. He had a Cuba Libra, and he gave me a shot of Captain Morgan's private stock. (He thought it was funny that I'm a blonde, and I sip a shot) Then he gave me a Buttery Nipple (which was "OMG" good, made out of Bailey's Irish Cream, and something else, I coudln't see what it was) I sipped that too, and he was like "I don't want to see you sip a shot ever again" He let me taste his Cuba Libra, and I loved it, it was soooo good, almost as good as the Buttery Nipple. So when he finished his, he got up to cut up the other lime and make himself another one, and I asked for one too. He was (I think) a little surprised at that, but he did. Hehe,I know, I'm a little stupid, but when I got that thing, I went straight to it. I was halfway through it when I started getting a wee bit dizzy and giggly (I'm giggly anyway, but it just showed more) He was making fun of me, saying that I couldn't hold my liquor, and I said I could, I was thinking straight and all, I was just a little out of it. I giggle a lot anyway. But it was cool, I like everything about that but being izzy, that annoyed me. But he stopped me from drinking the whole thing, because believe me, I probably would've (told you I'm stupid.

12 Ways To Get To A Girls Heart--
1. Hugs her from behind.
2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other.
3. When standing, wrap your arms around her.
4. Cuddle with her.
5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING!
6. Write little notes.
7. Compliment her.
8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
9. Say I love you.....and MEAN IT!
10. Brush the hair out of her eyes
11. Comfort her when she cries.
12. Love her with all your heart


beautiful!

Remember when the world is crumbling about your feet
And you cant seem to understand
Why people cant comprehend
The things you express through a method
So unconventional and miscelionus
They rip their hair out trying to understand
Something so Complicatedly Simple
So just sit on the only thing left
A small wooden stool
And sing
Express your soul in something they Have to understand
A voice is simple
A complex arangement of pitch and tone
A world of peace with hate
So sing untill your throat bleeds
But dont worry tonight they'll understand
Stop writting in runes
Stop crying acid
Just close your eyes and sing
Because when the world crumbles about your feet
I'll understand
And I'll Be there
To be your Voice
To make them understand
Your life.

*cries* Liz, thank you!

"If I had one wish, you say? What would I do with that one wish? I think that I can answer that question more easily now than I've ever been able to in my life. I would wish to be a green-eyed red head, because then maybe you'd love me forever."

You know how sometimes, you know that it won't last forever, you know that there'll be someone after you who'll steal his heart and be his wife? You know you love him with all your heart, you know he loves you with all of his; not just because he says it, but he acts it too, not only with little trivial things, like flowers and kisses and notes, but bigger things, like telling you the truth even when he doesn't have to, being willing to put off sleep just to talk to you and be with you, all those things. But still, you know, and he knows that there's going to be someone after. "A green-eyed red head" in my case. But it'll hurt so bad when he finds her.

"Can you do me a favor?"
"Sure."
"Don't hurt yourself anymore, it's hard on my heart."

Dammit, why'd he have to be so convincing?

How could I have done that? Been so careless, so selfish? I didn't think of anyone else, never thought that I would hurt someone beside myself. I was so blind, so self-centered, I didn't even think about how much it would hurt you. I should've thought, should've remembered all the times you've told me that you love me, the times you've said if I got hurt, it would hurt you too, but I didn't. And I've hurt you, hurt you so badly. My stomach clenches every time I think about you hurting, hurting because of me. I almost made you cry, I'm so so so sorry, love. I'll never do it again, I promise, never. I love you, and I'm sick with myself for hurting you. I do care about you, I really do.