Love cannot be true if there is a reason,
If there is something that would alter this love
How can it truly be love?
"For, love is not love which alters when it alteration finds"
So how can there be a reason to love?
For so say the reason was removed, would love cease?
How then could it be true, for true love will not cease,
No matter the factors removed or added.
Perhaps, in having a reason, you love the reason,
And forsake the heart, the soul, that makes up the person;
And I ask, how is this love of anything more than material?
You may love the way a person acts:
Will you cease loving if, for a day, they act differently?
Then you would be inconstant, loving only in the good times,
Forsaking in the bad.
If you can explain to me this strange “love”,
I will eat my pen, and take back all my writings in such matters.

I wrote that. To the one I loved. And he replied with this:

To love without reason is to love wholly, fully,
boundlessly, and unconditionally
To love with reason bounds love to that reason; as the
reason alters as does the love
But is that truly love, can love be bound, or is love
infinate for love can't be both
Love is timeless, seamless, selfless, and unbridled
Love cannot be contained by variables, clauses,
bounds, or reason
Love can barely be contained by humans, true love
bursts from you and flows through you
Pours out onto the object of your affection and often
overflows to all those around you
So keep your pen to the paper and let your love flow
onto the page
So that you may share with others the trueness of the
world with the passion of your gift

If you can see beyond the grammatical errors, it's good.

My best friend is leaving sooner than I thought. Tomorrow is too soon. He says he'll come back and visit. But I'm scared for him. He's a fighter. I want him here, with me, where I know what's going on with him, where he's safe. Also, where he can talk to me. Nick, I don't want to be alone. I don't want you to leave. I want you with me.

I want someone to dance with me in front of everyone. Just take my hand and lead the way across the dance floor in front of all the aghast faces of the crowd. I'll smile at them, my eyes saying "You didn't think anyone could love me, the dirty, used whore. Well, no one does, I'm not her anymore." And we'll swirl all over, and float up into the sky, dancing across the clouds, not even noticing the wings that beat in rythm behind us. Everything falls away, all facades are forgotten, any inhibitions fall with the gravity that no longer applies to us. All we know is the feel of each other, the words in our eyes, the love that holds us together. The song changes, and we're dancing faster now, swirling in and out, together, then apart, then back, for we cannot be apart too long. Then the music ends, and we're holding each other tight, looking at each other. Then he smiles softly, and slowly disappears, leaving me happilly holding onto nothing but a memory of a dream.

I want pic of my hair so bad! I dyed it red and black, although the black is more of a gray and purple color cause my hairs too light. Ish sweet! You say thank God it's Friday, I say thank God it's Thursday, T-Day, the day where I get advice, answers to the questions that have been plaguing me all week long, I can unload my stories for the week, and feelings that I have been having. In short, I get to talk to someone with a PhD in listening: MY COUNSELOR!!! *relaxed sigh* Everyone should have one. There'd be a lot fewer insane people. Note: I did not say there would be fewer crazy people, because I personally enjoy being crazy.
My mum got...not exactly fired, because her and her boss are good friends, but w/e, because his wife is a jealous little...something, and thinks they're having an affair. She's been telling everyone that too, including my dad, who knows it's a load of crap. So now my mum's out of a job and feeling like she lost a good friend. Understand this, my mum loved her job, she likes working period, but she loved this job. She's going to lose her mind without work, and right now, she's feeling kinda depressed, which really sucks. *sigh* Like I said, everyone needs a counselor.

The world is full of pretty colors,
And I see all of you smiling and laughing in them,
Perhaps taking the small wonders for granted.
I put my hands on the sheet of glass
Separating me from childhood land,
And all your smiling, innocent faces.
I want to be out there with you,
But I don’t fit in that puzzle;
My piece was made for something else.
I exchanged fantasy for glass already.
It’s just glass, you should see me in here,
But all you see is the smiling face
That covers up the glass bubble,
Where I stay to keep myself and others safe.
I want you to see into the glass,
But only if you could really understand.
If you couldn’t respond the way I need you to,
I’ll hold you away, outside the bubble.
No one, so far, gets it, no one’s inside,
And I press my sad face against the glass,
Wishing only that I wasn’t so alone.
Sometimes it gets too much to stand,
And I collapse to the floor of my cage
And pull my knees up to hold myself tight,
While outside you all smile and laugh and live.

Glass Bubble

By [Your Favorite Stranger]

When you think of addictions, you probably think of drugs, alcohol, cigarettes - things like that. But there is an addiction more dangerous, and perhaps even more widespread, than any of these addictions: Pornography, and more specifically, child pornography, which generates $3 billion annually.
Let me give you some statistics on child pornography to think about before I move on.
The daily Gnutella “child pornography” requests are 116 thousand.
Websites offering illegal child pornography are 100 thousand.
40% of arrested child pornography possessors had both sexually victimized children and were in possession of child pornography.
Of those arrested in the U.S. for the possession of child porn between 2000 and 2001, 83% had images involving children between ages 6 and 12; 39% had images involving children between age 3 and 5; and 19% had images of infants and toddlers under age 3. (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Child Pornography Possessors Arrested in Internet-Related Crimes: Findings from the National Juvenile Online Victimization Study. Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2005).
According to a National Children’s Homes report, the number of Internet child pornography images has increased 1500% since 1988.
Approximately 20% of all Internet porn involves children. (National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Internet Sex Crimes Against Minors: The Response of Law Enforcement. Virginia: National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, 2003).
More than 20,000 images of child pornography are posted on the Internet every week, and 140,000 child pornography images were posted on the Internet, according to researchers who monitored the Internet over a period of 6 weeks. (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 10/8/03)
The U.S. Customs Service estimates that there are more than 100,000 Web sites offering child pornography - which is illegal worldwide. Revenue estimates for the industry range from about $200 million to more than $1 billion per year. These unlawful sexual images can be purchased as easily as shopping at Amazon.com. "Subscribers" typically use credit cards to pay a monthly fee of between $30 and $50 to download photos and videos, or a one-time fee of a few dollars for single images. (Red Herring Magazine, 1/18/02).
The following is a true story, though the names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.
To most people, Tim was your normal 27-year-old guy: Good Christian, went to church, he was even a Sunday school teacher. He got along with most people, and the kids in his class thought he rocked. He was a very intelligent man, and was finishing up some college courses. He had done some drugs earlier on his life, but he had gotten all that straightened out, and was now, to his family, friends, and all who came into contact with him, a pretty good person. But Tim had a dark secret that he kept from all of them: His sexual relationship with the 13-year-old Christine.
What happened to Tim that made him seek Christine out for a relationship? What made him a pedophile? It was his choice, of course, but there must have been choices further back that had put him on that path. People speculate that it may be an extra Y-chromosome. Many pedophiles had been sexually abused in their youth, and “replay” their own abuse, but place themselves in the “power role”. Maybe the drugs had something to do with it. In Tim’s case, though, a huge deciding factor was his addiction to child porn. It may have started with an addiction to pornography, then gradually, he needed more extreme porn to be aroused, leading to his viewing of child porn. After enough of it, it’s very possible that he wanted to make it real. Eventually, he did just that, creating his own private fantasy.
Whether Christine was the first, or just another in a long line of sick seductions, we may never know. Tim, like all pedophiles, has a very low percentage for ever recovering from this mental illness and will be spending most of his life in jail, and Christine will carry the scars on her heart her whole life. And many people, including Christians, believe that pornography use is “normal”.
Do all people who view pornography eventually turn to child porn? I don’t think so, but I believe that a very large percent do. I base my speculation on the rising rate of the child pornography industry. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited children, child pornography reports increased 39% in 2004. It would seem that as the reports increase, the ages of the children used for the pornography go lower. The typical ages of the children are between six and 12, but the profile is getting younger: The demand for pornographic images of babies and toddlers is soaring. Says Det. Sgt. Paul Gillespie, of the Toronto Police Force: “In the last couple of years, we’ve just seen such young children on regular seizures - babies, 2-, 3-, 4-year-olds.”
Approximately 20 new children appear on the porn sites every month - many kidnapped or sold into sex (Combating Paedophile Information Networks in Europe, March 2003). If nothing else you have read in this report has gotten through to you, think of your children, your students, your family being kidnapped and forced into pornography for as long as the pornographers have use of them. Then they will most likely be sent out onto the street to survive by means of prostitution, or finding other pornographers who will use them. Any child from infancy to 12 years of age is at risk. Does it hurt you to think of that? To think of any child you care about being submitted to painful, humiliating, disgusting sexual acts? To think of their psyche being totally damaged, possibly forever? The thought of losing them is horrible enough without thinking about all that stuff, right? Think about it anyway. Think about how innocent kids, little babies who haven’t any clue what’s going on, being forced into the most perverted acts you can think of. Those kids have moms and dads, too. Put yourself in the position of those parents.
The age old way to deal with problems: “If you ignore it, it’ll go away.” So sorry, hate to burst your bubble or anything, but this problem, the one I’ve spent more than a page explaining to you, minus the gory details, is not going to go away if you ignore it. It’s going to get worse. I hate to say it, but America has gotten so preoccupied with “equality” and not stepping on anyone’s toes that justice is warped now. Would you like to know something that scares the hair off of me? Amazon.com, a very large Internet bookseller, sells books written by pedophiles and for pedophiles under the excuse “free speech”. The North American Man Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), which publicly encourages sex between adults and children, were given license to, on one national TV talk show, preach that perverse message. There was no group that opposed the license. There’s a problem when these kinds of things even exist, and there’s a huge problem when they’re allowed to be sold, and taught to the public. We’ve got to be the opposing group, we’ve got to stand up for our children before it’s too late for the country that already hosts more than half of the illegal child pornography sites reported to the Internet Watch Foundation.
In ending, I sincerely apologize for having upset, or disturbed anyone. If you find the content of this report to be more graphic than was necessary, if you thought this report was untrue, or an exaggeration, or if you felt that this report deals with an unimportant subject, I cannot apologize. It’s far less graphic than it could have been, the facts in the report proved to be true more than once, and this subject is very important. The truth is hard.

(That's my speech. Likey or no likey, you tell me. Or don't.)

I don’t know how to thank you, but I’ll do the best I can.
People wonder how I can be so strong:
I get that from you: whether you think you’re strong or not,
You stand and face enemies like a lioness defending her cubs.
Having someone defend me and have strength taught me how to be strong.
Please don’t feel like other moms are better than you.
You’re the only one I want, and the only one who’d want me.
You fill the position so perfectly; please, never quit.
I sure won’t ever fire you, because you’re the best there is.
Other people might have given up on me, but not you.
You were with me through the worst of the storm,
And you’re still with me picking up the pieces.
Don’t ever think you’re a failure: you haven’t failed me.
If you think you’re dumb, or less than someone else,
Know that you understand more than most of those people,
And that I wouldn’t trade you for a million of them.
You’re just the way you are, not perfect,
But I wouldn’t change a thing about you.

4 Mum
Love you!!
Jaime

Got back from Florida last Tuesday, and I swear, the teachers are trying to kill us with work: my speech on child pornography is due May 23, 400 word essay on Winston Churchill due May 19, computer test May 24, fieldguide due May 22, and a whole lot of other stuff that I've forgotten because my mind only holds so much info, and projects are not top on my list of stuff, really. I mean, I'm strict about my grades, but I have more things to think about. I've got so much memory used up that I'll be in my room, put something down, turn around and forget where I put it. Then I have to dig all over my room to find it again, which I occassionally don't do until the next day. Which is really bad if I lose my cold medicine. *deep breath* All that said, how's everything doing in the best place on Net, Elftown? Ya'll busy, or chillin' for the last few weeks of school?

You know, I sat down a couple days ago and realized that the people I think really understand me can be counted on one hand, and that the peers who understand me are nill, zip, nada, nonexistent? If I wasn't so busy being upset about other things, I might really feel crappy. I'm sick and tired of being upset, or sad, or lonely, it really sucks. But I am, and I feel alone in my glass bubble. If I have time, I'll post my poem on here. Maybe someone will understand.

You Lose


lie through your teeth
like i'll really believe
what you say now.
yeah, so i'm dumb
you oughta know where i'm coming from
you got busted bad.
that was a big mistake
i didn't think you'd take
a chance like that.
my worst fear
was that you'd get too near
and put a hole in my head.
you really make me laugh,
like i'd even believe half
of that crap you just fed me.
you wasted it all
did you think i would fall
back into your trap?
and i thought you were smart
yeah you broke my heart
but you just lost.


Written by [Your Favorite Stranger]


Little girls, beware of [1a2b3c]. This poem is for him. He tried to play me again, but this time I knew what was going on. Don't let a man play you, don't give him what he wants in exchange for pretty lies. You're worth more. Don't talk to him. You might hear of him soon. Then you'll know.

You ever wish you could just stop the day, sleep for about a week, then maybe go out and tackle the world? You ever wish you could sleep, forever, never having to die, but never having to face reality either? We think living forever would be such a great deal, that immortality would really be awesome, but in actuality, it would suck, real bad. Someday, I'll beat the world, I'll beat reality and earn the right to my own little world, full of my ideas and dreams, where being crazy is a good thing, because it means your not scared to go all out. Someday, I'll want to be awake, and alive, and doing all this great stuff. But right now, I plan. I sleep. I dream. When I wake up, all my plans and dreams will come into play, and you'll see just how crazy I am. Crazy enough to try and change the world.

Messed around with the horses today, as soon as I got back from church. Red is my baby boy, I was playin with him today. He's way smarter than Sierra, and he's way nicer. She can be so skittish sometimes, and Mum says it's just that she's a Thoroughbred (sp?). Red has the most beautiful eyes too, like soulful, and full of feeling. He's my boy! We did the Friendly Game, the Porcupine Game, and the Yoyo Game, for anyone hwo knows Parelli. He does way better than Sierra. I just love playing with him, brushing him, getting all dirty, watching him roll around, jogging with him. He's the horse I feel safe around, I need something that's not as high strung as I am. Something safe.

Well, I have friend from my ppl here now, finally. Nick's right here, thank goodness. One of the Posse on ET, imagine it! He needs to build on his house though, make it bigger, more interesting. He has a lot of interesting stuff he could tell, stuff about him, heck, he could put his poem up there! Although it's really more amusing than anything else.... I started writing today in church, a poam about how I was feeling the other night when I was crying and talking to God. It's so weird how he talks right in my head, and it's just like you know, talking to myself in my head. Sometimes I wonder if it's me or really God, but it doesn't matter either way, because it's either him giving me good advice, or me giving me good advice, and I can work with that either way. Sometimes it's hard to feel that he's even there, cause, I mean, I can't feel him holding me, I can't hear his voice with my ears, I can't see him, his actual person with my eyes. Sometimes, no, all the time, I wish I could. Oh well, we have to go by faith, not by sight, which totally sucks.